Feeling heavily emotional

[BlueWizard]

I will start by saying that since beginning of this year I have been so emotionally overburdened that it took better of me and I neglected my meditations and spiritual work because of it…. I don’t know how to explain much.. it is just that I have been feeling sad about everything… EVERYTHING…. I cannot even look or read anything that is slightly emotional without developing some sort of paranoia or feelings about it… and it is messing me up even in daily life. One typical example, I see someone’s beautiful house… Thought: “that house in future will be nothing but ruins and all the laughter inside will be a memory…” Another example is a book reading… character gets the good ending… my thoughts literally WANTS to experience every possible negative outcome just so whatever can feed off of my emotions… same with for example stories or something.. “I will love you until we get old and grey…” boom, I am done, thoughts stuck on old and grey, negative again….

It is like something is literally feeding like a parasite off my emotions… everything is becoming insanely difficult to focus on normally..

I swear if I could explain this better, I would, but it is like I WANT to experience negative emotions and then I regret them afterwards… and then I repeat it all again…
I would not have asked if it was temporary but it has been going for almost 4 months now and is absolutely pushing me to a strange bottom... For my own mental sake… please help me..

 

[Priest - Alexandros Iowno]

There can be transits that amplify emotions, or even internal processes, such as sexual energy. Stay grounded, focused on practical things, give yourself time and love and letting go of the negative emotions, by mental control and inner calmness. Do you have practical things you fixate your daily and future time on to accomplish?

Turbulence in real life circumstances = chaos internally, confusion, but it can be controlled and won over.