--- In
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "bodhi.grim@..." <bodhi.grim@... wrote:
Serpentfire,
I do try to be sensible, and I do appreciate your reason (in fact, I like it). I do hope it is not someone toying with me, but I have read the cards that the enemy is conspiring against me though mostly (as it states so often) to force doubts and set me into a fit of turmoil. In fact, after I had that encounter, I had attack after attack by the enemy who tried to convince me that Satan and the other demons were terrible, selfish, and cruel beings. The presence I had felt before the infiltration, the visitation, felt calm...serene even, unlike the infiltration which caused my aura to shudder and my head to ache (as well as my body). But if it is an enemy, they best fall on their knees and beg, because I do have a merciless streak when it comes to the very people (beings) I've come (or realize) I despise. A spit upon our foes who mock the gods! (Actually, I'd do FAR worse if I could. Frankly, some of my past lives/selves would agree with me since they were merciless with their enemies.)
The presence that came upon me did not feel me up with fear, but told me that I was brave. Nonetheless, I will take your words into consideration on the matter. After all, the enemy is twisted in a...cruel way.
I've been hearing this voice since I was a child. It's a male voice. Sometimes soft, perhaps tender, other times more firm. I've been hearing this voice since...beyond what I can remember. Yes, I've heard this voice since I was a child. Moreover, a blue light was usually (if not always) associated with it. I've been asleep and seen it, heard him say my name. I'm not sure what it means or who it could be. As years went by and as I grew up from a child into a teenager, this light grew closer and closer and as a teenager I began having visions of a blonde haired being. Not all of the time, but every so often when the time called for it, whenever I was facing my darkest hours I've seen him. ...It continues, this voice, I hear it more now say my name than ever before and the blue light is very, very close.
Perhaps it could be an enemy, but my mom has told me that when I was born I gave her the strangest feelings, as though I could see through her soul. I'm NOT a new soul. I am an old soul, a very old soul. I've been told, as well as she has, that I am here for a purpose. (Aren't we all? lol Honestly. WE ALL ARE.) But yeah, I always gave people the willies, not always in a bad way unless the enemy gets to them (especially if they are Christian). I could go into depth about the constant spiritual warfare I've been in the midst of since I began to breathe, but that would take a lot of your time and a lot of effort and I do not wish to bore anyone with such details. The point is, I can see what you are saying. The enemy could very well be toying with me. They make it their favorite pastime, really. They revel in tormenting me and a number of times confessed to me their undying hatred toward me. They even told me to DIE on occasions. They come to visit me...all the time. Fucking annoying, really. And if they are not visiting me, then the grays are shooting vibrations my way. Yeah.
Now, usually when I dream of him or have dreams with him (or at least the ones in my past were such), there's gold/bronze in the surrounding backdrop and there are peculiar symbols (say the symbol of the sun). Some of my dreams have water in them, usually a sea or ocean or a shore. *shrug* He never does anything to hurt me. He never tries to install fear into me. He usually reassures me.
He's not like a lot of the "angels" I've met, where they are "WARNING" me and being pests by torturing me and creating havoc in my life. I will say that they've been trying to do that lately. In my confusion and trying to communicate with the gods, they (the enemy) is intervening. They keep trying to show to me that the gods are cruel and that I'm just some poor sap who believes in a "lie" and that I'm "delusional" and being played for a fool.
I've been apologizing to Lilith about the crap they keep forcing into my head, trying to make me feel... I hear a soft voice say in return; "that's alright" in an understanding way. Yeah, they are attacking me about her, too. A lot, actually. Her and Satan the most.
I'll be fine, though. I just need to face this to the end and be strong.
...Now, about having a demon lover? Am I serious?
Let me tell you, it doesn't matter to me who they are (as long as they are not the enemy). I don't care about rank, whether they are a god or not. In fact, I have NO MARRIAGE LINES on my palms YET my palm states that I'M LUCKY IN LOVE.
All the more convoluted are my past lives, my previous lives. I've asked my subconscious/soul via pendulum and I only had ONE soul mate and apparently all who I was with...were the wrong people, which would explain why in a lot of my lives I was either unhappy, disbelieving in love (married because of obligation or other reasons), or settle with peculiar relationships for the sake of mirroring (need of kindred spirits) or for altruistic purposes when I did "marry". Other times I was single, one time a priestess and another time a hermit witch.
I've been imprisoned in previous lives (mostly because of Xianity, Islam, and the Jewry), been captured, bullied and caged by THE ENEMY FORCES in one life, and in one life BURNED AT THE STAKE for attacking the church during the Roman Inquisition. I've...seen a lot of court rooms. I wish this was all made up, but the nightmares/dreams I've endured growing up, the pendulum, the tarot cards, and so much more point this out to me...well, what it is. Fact? I can't deny it anymore. My logical mind wants to push it all aside and state that this is all ludicrous and impossible, but my analytically mind points out all the...hints, traces of evidence, and what not. I mean, I am actually beginning to remember all of the dreams I've had and in more detail than ever before! (For a time, I was confused about what was legit or not, but it seems the haze has been lifting.)
The whole point of this little ramble above is this: I've been through so much, nothing's going to stop me now. I've been through so much, I'm willing to go further.
Also, there's a chance I've might have known "someone" and may have been waiting (as I may have been waiting since my first life/existence I've ever had/experienced). Not sure. Either way, If I've waited THIS LONG (and I have been waiting a long, long, LONG time), I can continue to WAIT.
--- In
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "egon_88_666" <egon88@ wrote:
I personally don't think how physically far I am from my demoness lover, this really don't matter as we are always togheter, and the Gods will return and I'm sure I will achive Godhead in this lifetime to see them personally.
--- In
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Serpentfire666" <firebird894@ wrote:
You need to confirm He is deffinately of Satan, emotions aside you must be sure because angels and enemy Nordics DO play games. I am not trying to scare or upset you just to warn you.
Perhaps you should do a Ritual to Satan asking for confirmation of His identity, name is he known to Satan, in good standing.
If you are sure He is Legit and you want this to go on, then you need to relax and let go, stop worrying that will block you and make it harder to experience the Astral. Remember We may only at first get a foggy uncertain Glimpse of The Gods in Astral form, even just a sense of a presence or a sign and when it is gone a few days past you can be doubting if it really happened. Focus on yourself and advancing at all cost if He is Of Satan and He loves you This will be HIS priority to help you do this also. This is not a game Demons are real they have a body a life and needs as real as yours. Another planet is a LOOOONG way away and you may never meet in this lifetime can you cope with that? I think many people jump into this wanting a Demon lover without really thinking it through. This is not something trivial to play with.
I am not saying you are but in general I have seen many posts about this.
Talk to Him as if He can hear you and tell Him how you feel, your concerns be honest. We often block our own astral senses simply by worrying if they are working. It can be a bit of a catch 22 not thinking about the elephant in the room... but the more you let go of worry and relax and work on yourself the easier it will be.
Hail Satan
--- In
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "bodhi.grim@" <bodhi.grim@ wrote:
Reading this brings questions to mind for myself.
I suppose the reason would be a common sense one, it's like telling your lover that you desire them, that you need them, want them, crave them. ...A demon lover is a lover, despite being a demon. This is how I think. It's not the species or how superior a being is, it's that you love them, that you need them. Bah, but I'm a hopeless romantic...with issues. lol You don't have to take my word for it. I am...just...emotional, perhaps even needy yet distant and difficult to get close to. Perhaps the current frequencies could be the blame. This is why I say "don't take my word for it".
Anywhoo...
Speaking of fantasizing. Without thinking it, or trying to anyway, I keep receiving this mental image of this...guy, usually in a sexual way but not always. He's the saaaame guy, too. Come to think of it, I've been having this on and off throughout my life...with the same guy... My pendulum (and intuition) states that he's not human, rather he's a demon. *everyone points to my blushing face*
He's the same guy who has been telling me that... I'm never alone. I keep telling myself I am wrong, but everything points out to me that I am in denial over this. That I am attacking myself for not believing that some god/demon could actually love me, let alone anyone else. Actually, I know people like me and I've had people interested in me, but I could never get with them, it just... I could never connect and I felt like there was someone else out there that I belonged to, that they owned my heart and not the people who either flirt with me or try to get with me.
I've had a recent occurrence that's left me stunned, confused even. I've been attacking myself over it, perhaps? My demons, I think, have been trying to tell me but I keep thinking that maybe it's all just wishful thinking. I mean, I don't care what rank/level he is. I don't care about whether he's an elite or at the bottom of the totem pole. Pendulum, intuition, and perhaps even the demons state that he is...my... "soul mate". Remember I spoke that I couldn't feel or sense him on this planet? Yeah. Apparently I must of dedicated myself to him in one (or more) of my previous lives. Perhaps this is why I am determined to stay single and cannot seem to connect with anyone on this planet in a very intimate (romantic) level? I will admit I've had sexual attractions, but everyone who I thought I loved really felt like siblings to me rather than partners and I could never bring myself to actually fulfill my end of the bargain.
Now, I need advice...
Please don't laugh, because unlike some (and perhaps like so many) I grew up in a deadened, cold world where most people get together under false pretense. I've noticed that my past lives felt the same way, saw the same thing, that romance in the human world is practically DEAD.
Here's the tale:
One night (after I was asking questions regarding my soul mate) I was visited by a cool, soothing presence. This presence was familiar to me, as if I knew them personally yet it was no one I've...ever seen or had in the REAL LIFE (what I mean is, it was no human being).
As I laid there on my stomach, the presence began to rub my back in a very tender or soothing fashion. I felt myself drifting off back into sleep, but I did not fall asleep. I fell into a trance really.
The next thing that happened...well, leaves me stunned.
I felt him close to me. Very close. Exceptionally close. In my personal bubble close. He was behind me, holding me close, against him. I could feel how strong he was, perhaps even his muscles. Yes, that's how close he was!
He then began speaking to me. He spoke to me in a soft, confident, yet fond tone? Yeah, he spoke to me with fondness, unless I am delusional.
He first confirmed something to me, speaking into a rather hushed yet clear tone, into or near my ear. He told me what he had done in a confident way, not in an arrogant manner, but to say he was proud of his achievements or that he was trying to impress me? Eheh
When I turned or stretched my neck, he kissed alongside it, three times, from near the shoulder up.
He then told me how brave I was and shared with me a mental image, a very tender yet very lighthearted vision of a girl (perhaps me) and a blonde haired man (perhaps him) having fun on a slope (that strangely does not seem earthly and is quite...advanced or otherworldly in appearance. Yes, I know, redundancies).
I have to admit, being close to him made me...feel sexual. Yeah, my sacral chakra was really responding...and has been ever since.
That's when I tried to turn around and see him, wanting to know who he was or looked like. I merely saw an outline of him.
Folks, he's REAL. He is REAL. REAL. REAL. REAL.
I know relationships are personal and private. I am a private person. But I am confused and I need advice, this is why I speaking/share this with you. Someone...please...give me advice. This is tormenting, and ever since thing I haven't heard anything from him? No. I do hear a voice that says my name, but I think I am far too distracted by thoughts to receive a clear message from him or the other demons.
Thank you for your time. Appreciate it.
HAIL SATAN!
--- In
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "saumeelsondur" <saumeelsondur@ wrote:
Hey everyone! it said on the Joy of Satan site that you need to fantasize about your demon lover at night, and eventually she will contact you....
my question is : how exactly does this fantasizing work? as in how is it supposed to bring my demon lover to me?
also if i am not open enough how am i supposed to talk to her or be able to see her?
HAIL SATAN!!!!
