Dating - destroy these things inside you.

[OttoHart]

I have seen many men here struggle with attracting women or having dating success. It would be fine, as struggle is normal. You learn, you overcome. But for many, this lack causes trauma that builds up, and problematic opinions. This post is addressed to you, and to your specific issues. I will likely just link this to people if I see they have an issue in this area. Looking out for my fellow SS brothers here. This post will not guarantee you a date or a relationship, but if you follow the instructions clearly, I guarantee you will no longer feel bad about your dating "failures". You will be confident, unmoved, and not insecure, and this will ironically also increase your chances of finding a partner, although that is not the point.
I trust the words of @HPS Lydia on the topic of dating more than anyone else here, from what I've read of her works, and would feel honored if she would see this and note where she agrees and where she disagrees, when she has the time.
On that note, anyone that disagrees with these, or people with problems related to dating, do chip in here. I am open to criticism.

Dating, and romantic interaction, has been a large part of my life for quite a while. I am now in a fulfilled, committed relationship, that I plan to keep and nourish for the rest of my life. However, I have gone through more things in this subject than many my age have. This is given as context, so you understand I am not talking out of my ass here, with this post and this advice:

I have never struggled with making people attracted to me / having people be attracted to me, romantically or sexually. Ever since I've had my first crush, this has not been a particular problem for me. This does not mean I never got rejected, or never failed, but rather that I never really experienced scarcity when it comes to this, which I believe helped me keep a clearer mind. The mind can go a bit wild when needs are not met, or you do not feel validated, as the brain thinks there is something wrong. Couple this with being a teenager, where feelings of inadequacy are common, as you haven't found your place in the world yet, and that's a recipe for disaster. I have had it all, from a phase where I didn't believe in romance, and chose one night stands and low value flings instead, to getting my heart broken on more than one occasion, to having many succesful dates, relationships, etc., that helped me grow as a person, that ended on good terms.
You might think that, because of my inherent "luck" in these matters, I have nothing to teach. I lived on easy mode. That would be the case for some, but I am a person thirsty for knowledge and answers. So when I saw I was having this easy path, while others were falling into common failings, I wanted to find out why. And so I did research on dating, from crappy pick-up artist books, to genuine psychology, to pure experience of talking to women like they are people (I know, wild), kind of reverse engineering my "ability".
It's been 3 years since I've started giving dating advice. Started with friends, moved on to bigger things, like a radio podcast, articles, and one on one training (that I am not currently doing because I'm busy and don't need the money).

I have obviously found many tips and tricks, smaller and larger, that apply on a case by case basis, too many and varied to write here. But this post is about destroying things within you.

The many issues you are encountering, in your mental health, self image and romantic confidence are not because you are failing at attracting a partner. I can prove it. Visualize this with me:

You have a girlfriend, magically, one morning you wake up. This girl finds you perfect. Your insecurities, she loves them. Your flaws, that's exactly what she likes about you. She sees that your body is not where it should be. She sees you could be doing better career or education wise. She sees you could be smarter, and accepts you as who you are nonetheless.

Would you feel at home in this relationship? Or would you feel as if you don't deserve it, that this version of yourself isn't worth loving, and that this girl is clearly stupid?

Do not lie to yourself, you would think the latter. This is because you do not have a good self image, and you resort to fantasy. You want your flaws to not exist, you want to be perfect. And you want a girl to see that you are perfect, and to confirm this delusion that you have no flaws. The idea of being with a partner that sees all your flaws is invasive. You can't truly open up to girls.
These feelings of inadequacy won't fully, instantly disappear. But you will no longer feel that your lack of success in dating is a symptom of your inadequacy as a man, if you follow my instructions.

Here are my instructions. The following bold statements are frames you use to frame yourself, your dream girl, random girls, and dating in general. Whether or not you consciously know you have these frames is not relevant. You will look at these frames, and blot them out completely from your mind, with help from the explanations below them. Do not try to justify things by saying you don't believe these things. If you genuinely don't believe one of these, then lucky you! It will be very easy to blot it out. Below the explanation, there is an affirmation in italics. Go in front of a mirror, and state the affirmation. Pretend you are stating this directly to every single person you know, all watching you in a crowd. If you genuinely mean it, it feels genuine to say, and don't feel yourself lying when saying it, your job is done. If you feel this with every affirmation, you will find that you no longer consider being single a problem to fix. If not, jump back to the explanation, and see what steps you can take. If you know for a fact these are problems, still do the affirmations in the mirror, and take note of your feelings, so you can see your starting point. Translate the affirmations in your native language, it will make them hit closer to home.

WARNING: This is some deep self work. If you know you have frustrations with dating, expect those moments of affirming in the mirror to feel gut wrenching. I recommend people who have issues with anxiety to take it slow. Some people I've trained using this method have cried in their bathroom from these. You are directly invoking your greatest insecurities, but this will lead to growth and cleaning.

1. Whenever I approach a girl, my job is to convince her I am worthy of her. If things don't work out, it is a failure on my part.

I even see dating "gurus" fall into this trap. When you approach a girl, you see it as a task to convince her you're worth it. There's the toxic alternative, of going into the interaction thinking "I want her to convince me she is worth my time.". I've been there, and many men end up falling into this other extreme after getting hurt emotionally one too many times. This is also wrong.
The correct approach is to see it as a normal human interaction, and see if you are compatible with each other. For fixing this, look into your image of women. Why do you need to earn the respect of this girl, and girls in general? If this specific girl doesn't like you, does that say anything about you? It says something about her, that you're not her type. You learn nothing about yourself from this rejection. But someone stuck in the above frame will learn something new every rejection: that girls hate him, that he is lesser.

Affirm: My value as a man is not determined by whether one specific girl likes me. When I approach a girl, I am interested in seeing whether we are compatible. I do not feel a need to please her and her opinion of me doesn't change my own, as she is a stranger.

2. I am a bicycle missing a wheel, and just having a relationship with a girl that likes me will fix me as a person.

Your partner is your compliment, not your missing piece. None of your inner problems are caused by being single, and being in a relationship will solve none of your problems. A girl might help you grow as a person, if she cares about you, but this is something friends do. You do not need a relationship for this. To drill this into your mind, write a list of your 10 biggest flaws, and put an X next to the problems that would be fixed by your being in a relationship. If you put an X next to any of them, come over to my house and punch me in the face.

Affirm: I am a complete person, not in need of a duo. A partner will add to my journey, but it will not fill in any gaps I have. I will fill these gaps myself, and I know a partner will not complete me. I am fine with that.

3. I see women as nothing else but potential dating partners.

This is a fact that most men won't admit to themselves, let alone other people. But this is the stark reality I've seen again and again. Most men do not have female friends, and if they do, they are friends they made when they were far too young to develop crushes. Someone reading this post hasn't talked to a girl without the interest of dating her in years. This leads both to you objectifying women (which might lead to incel behavior in those of weaker spirit), and psychologically, it literally puts your brain into a scarcity mode, and triggers anxiety when talking to girls, despite the situation not warranting anxiety. You frame rejection as a personal failure, and, statistically, this means that 90% of the times you talk to girls it results in taking a blow to the ego. This will make you scared to talk to girls, as your brain avoids it like putting your hand on a stove. In fact, many reading this with these issues feel like approaching a girl is very similar to getting yourself to touch a hot stove. Your brain is yelling not to do it. People online will call you a misogynist and the worst of the worst for this, but the fact of the matter is you are a victim of your own mind and of societal programming. To fix this, you do two things. You establish female friendships. Approach a girl next, while thinking she is your long lost biological sister. And simply see where the conversation takes you, hopefully to a nice friendship. Additionally, look at how you approach a male stranger. Maybe a friend at the gym, maybe a colleague at school. Approach a girl exactly as you would approach a man.

Affirm: I only see women as potential dating partners when I develop an interest in a particular girl. Both male and female strangers feel the same to me.

4. When thinking of dating, I objectify myself.

When you think about relationships, it always boils down to an issue of what you can offer the girl, what value you provide. It is obvious that, in a relationship, we offer things to our partner. Time, attention, help, resources, whatever. This is normal. The framing issue here is putting that first. These feelings are normal when you already have a relationship, and you are feeling like you could do more. Right now, you feel like you are not doing enough for a relationship that doesn't exist. Grow as a person, on your individual journey. Do not think about growing as a boyfriend until you are at risk of becoming one.

Affirm: I am not stressed about what I have to offer to a potential girl. When I get to the point of a relationship, I will evaluate myself and communicate, but for now, my goal is not to be a better boyfriend for a girlfriend I don't have.

5. I routinely lie about who I am, through words or silence, when talking to girls.

Some men lie about themselves directly when trying to attract a girl. "Oh, I'm busy like, all the time." "Yeah, my body count is like, 10." "Shieet, yeah, I've been to that party.".
But most men are guilty of lying by silence. You have insecurities, and even hobbies or personality traits, that you don't reveal to her. This doesn't mean to put your soul on a silver platter for any girl you talk to, but you should not feel like you can't tell her. For example, you may like anime, in a place where this is a niche, nerdy thing. You don't have to go "Hi, stranger, I like anime!", but you should feel like, if she were to ask you, you would not feel insecure about telling her. List 10 things you would be embarassed to tell a girl you are approaching. Write a 1 next to it if you yourself, are fine with this thing. In that case, understand that you will not be able to get into a relationship without this thing coming out. Write a 2 next to it if you are not fine with this thing. Work to change it or quit the thing.

Affirm: I am not afraid of a girl seeing my true self. If she doesn't enjoy my true self, we are not compatible, and this is not a personal failure on my part.

Once you solve this inner work, you will no longer feel bad about not being able to get a relationship. You will realize it is just a matter of time, you will find your confidence, and, most importantly, you will realize that you don't need a relationship.

With this new frame, you will naturally talk to girls, become more social, grow your social circle, make connections, talk to many more girls than before, and your new confident self will make girls feel safe and comfortable around you. You need nothing more than this and time.
If someone genuinely needs advice on what to still do if you like a girl and you have this confidence, I might make a post about seduction later on. But for those deep in the struggles of these romantic issues, I think you have your homework for a while.

 

[HPS Lydia]

Number 1 is spot-on. Basic social interaction is just that. It's not about finding your next partner. We are all here on this planet, so basic social interaction is supposed to be normal, and not viewed as a giant trial.

Number 2, a lot of women feel this way too. Thinking that finding your "other half" will solve all your problems and they will immediately fix you. We complement each other, and help each other grow.

Number 3 can be a bit difficult these days, what with (((feminists))) telling women that any man approaching them is a creep and only trying to get in her pants. And of course some men are creeps and only trying to get into their pants, which makes women wary when a decent man tries to strike up a conversation; but creepy men are a minority.

Number 5, yes, we are supposed to share our lives with another. Hiding your hobbies will make us feel like you're not that interested in a life with us. It makes us feel like we are not important enough for you to tell us the things about yourself. Even if your hobbies are kind of dorky, a woman who loves you will probably find that side of you endearing.

On a final note, if a woman is rude to you and coldly rejects your attempt to simply talk to her, that's her problem, not yours. There are some women out there who are just plain toxic, and there are women who had very bad experiences and are on an overly-defensive self-protective mode.

 

[OttoHart]

Number 1 is spot-on. Basic social interaction is just that. It's not about finding your next partner. We are all here on this planet, so basic social interaction is supposed to be normal, and not viewed as a giant trial.

Number 2, a lot of women feel this way too. Thinking that finding your "other half" will solve all your problems and they will immediately fix you. We complement each other, and help each other grow.

Number 3 can be a bit difficult these days, what with (((feminists))) telling women that any man approaching them is a creep and only trying to get in her pants. And of course some men are creeps and only trying to get into their pants, which makes women wary when a decent man tries to strike up a conversation; but creepy men are a minority.

Number 5, yes, we are supposed to share our lives with another. Hiding your hobbies will make us feel like you're not that interested in a life with us. It makes us feel like we are not important enough for you to tell us the things about yourself. Even if your hobbies are kind of dorky, a woman who loves you will probably find that side of you endearing.

On a final note, if a woman is rude to you and coldly rejects your attempt to simply talk to her, that's her problem, not yours. There are some women out there who are just plain toxic, and there are women who had very bad experiences and are on an overly-defensive self-protective mode.

Thank you for your input and fast reply time, HPS.

I further discussed the topic in Outreach and I believe this bit is valuable for the post, as it elaborates on your point on Number 3, and why it might not actually be that difficult.

The thing is, that never happened to me.
Despite acting exactly as a man that would be perceived as creepy would, at face value.
Either I have some magical power that makes me never look like a creep, or there is a deeper issue at hand.
The deeper issue is that the framing of yourself within the interaction you have in your mind will propagate and others will notice it.
If you approach a girl with negativity, pessimism, and only looking to see if she will be into you or not (not looking for any of the MANY values of human interaction), you will be perceived worse. No matter how well you think you hide it.

I can't in good heart believe that a woman simply being approached by a man, with normal small talk, would report and try to hurt this man.
The actual cases of this are astronomically rare, and far easier to deal with.

I was accused of assaulting a girl because I wouldn't sleep with her at a party, because she had a boyfriend.
I had enough friends, nobody considered me creepy, and I was known as a well liked and peaceful person by everyone.
(here, some may think that just being introverted will get them in trouble. This is not the case, and I'd have to elaborate on it a lot more, but the short of it is that social image is important, and being introverted does not mean abstaining from all social functions, as we all need those to survive. There is a difference between an antisocial person and an introvert)

So this rumor never took off. In fact, it ruined her life, at least as far as high school was concerned.

I would just avoid making general statements. I wouldn't say the average woman sees any approach from men as an attack. Some do, due to trauma or due to just being assholes. But it's rarer than you think. The internet blows these things out of proportion. If you compare it to what is portrayed in social media, real life is on easy mode.
You can clearly see this, no matter how detached from the real world you may be (this isn't an insult, most of us are). Remember high school or college (you might be in one of those right now). Try to estimate how many times a boy approached a girl he didn't know there. Possibly hundreds a year? And how many of these resulted in dangerous assault accusations? Maybe one, but for most people, not even one.
When it comes to petty sexism between men and women, we are ALL victims. Nothing else. We are victims of the internet, victims of social media, victims of harmful propaganda, victims of our own insecurities, victims of our own traumas. There is no reason to hate someone for being a victim. Obviously, tread carefully around those who are ridden by these things and toxic as a result. But understand that this is a delicate issue, that can be solved.
Because the NORMAL state of humanity is a state that doesn't have these issues. These issues are artificial, and we will make them go away.
I have a more optimistic and peaceful view towards these things because I am not operating from a frame of scarcity. This will sound rude to some. But think about it, and you will realize that, when you are in a state of lack, you tend to think less clearly. Especially a lack of very important things like social validation and sexual expression. It's the same reason you shouldn't go shopping hungry.
The point of the post is to realize you do not need to get a relationship, or validation from any girl, to leave this frame of scarcity. You can enter a frame of abundance with the inner work I laid out. The goal here is not to get a girl, but to stop feeling like you are a wrong kind of human for not having one.
But, ironically, with this, will come girls. Because on the very basic levels of thought, girls no longer see you as a starving animal, but rather a provider. In this case, a confident person is a provider of safety and security.

 

[VanceViktori888]

Thanks for your insightful post, brother, I can tell this is valuable advice here. I may very well utilize it lol

I especially relate with the part about talking to women the same way you would a dude, because in hindsight every time I’ve gotten a girlfriend it’s been when I do exactly that, and also while not feeling as if I need one lol

 

[Tongoenabiago]

I have seen many men here struggle with attracting women or having dating success. It would be fine, as struggle is normal. You learn, you overcome. But for many, this lack causes trauma that builds up, and problematic opinions. This post is addressed to you, and to your specific issues. I will likely just link this to people if I see they have an issue in this area. Looking out for my fellow SS brothers here. This post will not guarantee you a date or a relationship, but if you follow the instructions clearly, I guarantee you will no longer feel bad about your dating "failures". You will be confident, unmoved, and not insecure, and this will ironically also increase your chances of finding a partner, although that is not the point.
I trust the words of @HPS Lydia on the topic of dating more than anyone else here, from what I've read of her works, and would feel honored if she would see this and note where she agrees and where she disagrees, when she has the time.
On that note, anyone that disagrees with these, or people with problems related to dating, do chip in here. I am open to criticism.

Dating, and romantic interaction, has been a large part of my life for quite a while. I am now in a fulfilled, committed relationship, that I plan to keep and nourish for the rest of my life. However, I have gone through more things in this subject than many my age have. This is given as context, so you understand I am not talking out of my ass here, with this post and this advice:

I have never struggled with making people attracted to me / having people be attracted to me, romantically or sexually. Ever since I've had my first crush, this has not been a particular problem for me. This does not mean I never got rejected, or never failed, but rather that I never really experienced scarcity when it comes to this, which I believe helped me keep a clearer mind. The mind can go a bit wild when needs are not met, or you do not feel validated, as the brain thinks there is something wrong. Couple this with being a teenager, where feelings of inadequacy are common, as you haven't found your place in the world yet, and that's a recipe for disaster. I have had it all, from a phase where I didn't believe in romance, and chose one night stands and low value flings instead, to getting my heart broken on more than one occasion, to having many succesful dates, relationships, etc., that helped me grow as a person, that ended on good terms.
You might think that, because of my inherent "luck" in these matters, I have nothing to teach. I lived on easy mode. That would be the case for some, but I am a person thirsty for knowledge and answers. So when I saw I was having this easy path, while others were falling into common failings, I wanted to find out why. And so I did research on dating, from crappy pick-up artist books, to genuine psychology, to pure experience of talking to women like they are people (I know, wild), kind of reverse engineering my "ability".
It's been 3 years since I've started giving dating advice. Started with friends, moved on to bigger things, like a radio podcast, articles, and one on one training (that I am not currently doing because I'm busy and don't need the money).

I have obviously found many tips and tricks, smaller and larger, that apply on a case by case basis, too many and varied to write here. But this post is about destroying things within you.

The many issues you are encountering, in your mental health, self image and romantic confidence are not because you are failing at attracting a partner. I can prove it. Visualize this with me:

You have a girlfriend, magically, one morning you wake up. This girl finds you perfect. Your insecurities, she loves them. Your flaws, that's exactly what she likes about you. She sees that your body is not where it should be. She sees you could be doing better career or education wise. She sees you could be smarter, and accepts you as who you are nonetheless.

Would you feel at home in this relationship? Or would you feel as if you don't deserve it, that this version of yourself isn't worth loving, and that this girl is clearly stupid?

Do not lie to yourself, you would think the latter. This is because you do not have a good self image, and you resort to fantasy. You want your flaws to not exist, you want to be perfect. And you want a girl to see that you are perfect, and to confirm this delusion that you have no flaws. The idea of being with a partner that sees all your flaws is invasive. You can't truly open up to girls.
These feelings of inadequacy won't fully, instantly disappear. But you will no longer feel that your lack of success in dating is a symptom of your inadequacy as a man, if you follow my instructions.

Here are my instructions. The following bold statements are frames you use to frame yourself, your dream girl, random girls, and dating in general. Whether or not you consciously know you have these frames is not relevant. You will look at these frames, and blot them out completely from your mind, with help from the explanations below them. Do not try to justify things by saying you don't believe these things. If you genuinely don't believe one of these, then lucky you! It will be very easy to blot it out. Below the explanation, there is an affirmation in italics. Go in front of a mirror, and state the affirmation. Pretend you are stating this directly to every single person you know, all watching you in a crowd. If you genuinely mean it, it feels genuine to say, and don't feel yourself lying when saying it, your job is done. If you feel this with every affirmation, you will find that you no longer consider being single a problem to fix. If not, jump back to the explanation, and see what steps you can take. If you know for a fact these are problems, still do the affirmations in the mirror, and take note of your feelings, so you can see your starting point. Translate the affirmations in your native language, it will make them hit closer to home.

WARNING: This is some deep self work. If you know you have frustrations with dating, expect those moments of affirming in the mirror to feel gut wrenching. I recommend people who have issues with anxiety to take it slow. Some people I've trained using this method have cried in their bathroom from these. You are directly invoking your greatest insecurities, but this will lead to growth and cleaning.

1. Whenever I approach a girl, my job is to convince her I am worthy of her. If things don't work out, it is a failure on my part.

I even see dating "gurus" fall into this trap. When you approach a girl, you see it as a task to convince her you're worth it. There's the toxic alternative, of going into the interaction thinking "I want her to convince me she is worth my time.". I've been there, and many men end up falling into this other extreme after getting hurt emotionally one too many times. This is also wrong.
The correct approach is to see it as a normal human interaction, and see if you are compatible with each other. For fixing this, look into your image of women. Why do you need to earn the respect of this girl, and girls in general? If this specific girl doesn't like you, does that say anything about you? It says something about her, that you're not her type. You learn nothing about yourself from this rejection. But someone stuck in the above frame will learn something new every rejection: that girls hate him, that he is lesser.

Affirm: My value as a man is not determined by whether one specific girl likes me. When I approach a girl, I am interested in seeing whether we are compatible. I do not feel a need to please her and her opinion of me doesn't change my own, as she is a stranger.

2. I am a bicycle missing a wheel, and just having a relationship with a girl that likes me will fix me as a person.

Your partner is your compliment, not your missing piece. None of your inner problems are caused by being single, and being in a relationship will solve none of your problems. A girl might help you grow as a person, if she cares about you, but this is something friends do. You do not need a relationship for this. To drill this into your mind, write a list of your 10 biggest flaws, and put an X next to the problems that would be fixed by your being in a relationship. If you put an X next to any of them, come over to my house and punch me in the face.

Affirm: I am a complete person, not in need of a duo. A partner will add to my journey, but it will not fill in any gaps I have. I will fill these gaps myself, and I know a partner will not complete me. I am fine with that.

3. I see women as nothing else but potential dating partners.

This is a fact that most men won't admit to themselves, let alone other people. But this is the stark reality I've seen again and again. Most men do not have female friends, and if they do, they are friends they made when they were far too young to develop crushes. Someone reading this post hasn't talked to a girl without the interest of dating her in years. This leads both to you objectifying women (which might lead to incel behavior in those of weaker spirit), and psychologically, it literally puts your brain into a scarcity mode, and triggers anxiety when talking to girls, despite the situation not warranting anxiety. You frame rejection as a personal failure, and, statistically, this means that 90% of the times you talk to girls it results in taking a blow to the ego. This will make you scared to talk to girls, as your brain avoids it like putting your hand on a stove. In fact, many reading this with these issues feel like approaching a girl is very similar to getting yourself to touch a hot stove. Your brain is yelling not to do it. People online will call you a misogynist and the worst of the worst for this, but the fact of the matter is you are a victim of your own mind and of societal programming. To fix this, you do two things. You establish female friendships. Approach a girl next, while thinking she is your long lost biological sister. And simply see where the conversation takes you, hopefully to a nice friendship. Additionally, look at how you approach a male stranger. Maybe a friend at the gym, maybe a colleague at school. Approach a girl exactly as you would approach a man.

Affirm: I only see women as potential dating partners when I develop an interest in a particular girl. Both male and female strangers feel the same to me.

4. When thinking of dating, I objectify myself.

When you think about relationships, it always boils down to an issue of what you can offer the girl, what value you provide. It is obvious that, in a relationship, we offer things to our partner. Time, attention, help, resources, whatever. This is normal. The framing issue here is putting that first. These feelings are normal when you already have a relationship, and you are feeling like you could do more. Right now, you feel like you are not doing enough for a relationship that doesn't exist. Grow as a person, on your individual journey. Do not think about growing as a boyfriend until you are at risk of becoming one.

Affirm: I am not stressed about what I have to offer to a potential girl. When I get to the point of a relationship, I will evaluate myself and communicate, but for now, my goal is not to be a better boyfriend for a girlfriend I don't have.

5. I routinely lie about who I am, through words or silence, when talking to girls.

Some men lie about themselves directly when trying to attract a girl. "Oh, I'm busy like, all the time." "Yeah, my body count is like, 10." "Shieet, yeah, I've been to that party.".
But most men are guilty of lying by silence. You have insecurities, and even hobbies or personality traits, that you don't reveal to her. This doesn't mean to put your soul on a silver platter for any girl you talk to, but you should not feel like you can't tell her. For example, you may like anime, in a place where this is a niche, nerdy thing. You don't have to go "Hi, stranger, I like anime!", but you should feel like, if she were to ask you, you would not feel insecure about telling her. List 10 things you would be embarassed to tell a girl you are approaching. Write a 1 next to it if you yourself, are fine with this thing. In that case, understand that you will not be able to get into a relationship without this thing coming out. Write a 2 next to it if you are not fine with this thing. Work to change it or quit the thing.

Affirm: I am not afraid of a girl seeing my true self. If she doesn't enjoy my true self, we are not compatible, and this is not a personal failure on my part.

Once you solve this inner work, you will no longer feel bad about not being able to get a relationship. You will realize it is just a matter of time, you will find your confidence, and, most importantly, you will realize that you don't need a relationship.

With this new frame, you will naturally talk to girls, become more social, grow your social circle, make connections, talk to many more girls than before, and your new confident self will make girls feel safe and comfortable around you. You need nothing more than this and time.
If someone genuinely needs advice on what to still do if you like a girl and you have this confidence, I might make a post about seduction later on. But for those deep in the struggles of these romantic issues, I think you have your homework for a while.

Very good article! It came at an extremely necessary time for me.

About the post about seduction, I'm one of those interested in reading about it hahaha