Continuous Setbacks, Seeking Insight and Advice Please

[Way_Seeker6661]

Before I begin, I'm writing both about how I feel, and from an analytical/logical point of view. It may come across as seeming to be from a negative view or whatever but here me when I say I am trying my utmost to remain positive and fight through this, and I don't feel I am being at all negative. However I am open to whatever my brothers and sisters here have to say.
This year has been quite horrible. It has been intensely painful and basically just one fuck up after the other. Up until early August I really have only myself to blame for what I went through. Last year I got into a relationship my gut had repeatedly told me not to, and Father Satan had said too, "she is not the girl for you". I thought I loved her, and didn't believe I had the strength to walk away. Anyway, needless to say that turned to shit. We were living together, which made the breakup worse. I wasted so much time and money before and during this one sided sick excuse for a relationship. I also went through a three and a half month Saturn transit (retrograding over my Moon) that kicked in just after I dumped that life sucking bitch. By the time I moved into my own place I was drained, broken, had no money, and was so disconnected. The only place available that I could afford, I later realized, is next to a house of fucking kikes, who I often have to interact with and I do have to appear friendly to these vile fucking abominations. Nevertheless I have been fighting hard to put all that past shit out of my mind, focus and my goals and get properly back into my Spiritual Path, which I neglected for that bitch I wasted so much on. (no blame shifting; I know it was my choice). It has been so fucking hard though, stop and start, subconsciously sabotaging myself, allowing obsession of the recent past to distract me. I have made progress as far as being focused and having a lot more control of my mind and emotions, and through all this "bad" shit I have learned LOTS. The Saturn transit is over, and nothing is really distracting me anymore, but shit just keeps going wrong. I had gotten up to three and a half hours a day of consistent Meditation and last night somehow did the Immortal Breath wrong, and fucked up my back. I can only lie down, sit, breath fairly shallow, and keep my torso totally still. Any movement beyond this and it spasms and hurts like shit. So, another stop to my meditations and just before a CRITICAL fucking stage of what I have to do. This, getting a job, everything involved in my plans and progress keeps fucking out and I don't know why. I know life has its difficulties and not everything works out all the time, but this is unreasonable. I thought the Saturn transit and me not having prepared for it was to blame, as all the setbacks etc were emotionally difficult and the Moon rules feelings and emotions. But that has been over for four weeks now, and there are no others, and things still seem to be against me.
OK so enough of the explaining which is now sounding like complaining, why I am writing this is to see if anyone can tell me why this might be happening, so I can fix it. I'm going to begin a Runic Working today to heal my back, and an affirmation to help things go right for me, tonight. I'm just truly fucked off that this happened now, as Monday I am to begin the most important Working of my life and I need my Energies up and strong for it. And this fucking injury has fucked that up. But I gotta do what I can. I know that even though I brought all of this year's difficulty on myself, even through that, I have grown, become stronger and wiser, and learned so much. So I'm keeping my faith in spite of this shit and will never give up. I just want to understand this, so I can rectify it and progress.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any insight and advice!

Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!

And Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

I get it man.The wrong woman can really fuck your life up.It has happened to me more times then I care to admit.But that is why this time I did a ritual to find my wife,and the one Satan gave me.At my age I just can't afford any more heart aches caused by xtian woman.Sadly that is all I have ever known before finding my SS wife.But I am impressed about how you have changed your life,and I think you will find it will get even better from here on out.Do like me and don't just settle for being with someone.I told Satan that I will only be with an SS woman from now on,or stay single the rest of my life.The Gods picked up on my sincerity,and now I have her.So never give up on true Satanic love,because it is out there for you,and everyone else that chooses to have Satan's best.
 Hail Satan
Brian 

From: Way_Seeker666 <way_seeker666@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, September 7, 2012 3:07 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Continuous Setbacks, Seeking Insight and Advice Please

  Before I begin, I'm writing both about how I feel, and from an analytical/logical point of view. It may come across as seeming to be from a negative view or whatever but here me when I say I am trying my utmost to remain positive and fight through this, and I don't feel I am being at all negative. However I am open to whatever my brothers and sisters here have to say.
This year has been quite horrible. It has been intensely painful and basically just one fuck up after the other. Up until early August I really have only myself to blame for what I went through. Last year I got into a relationship my gut had repeatedly told me not to, and Father Satan had said too, "she is not the girl for you". I thought I loved her, and didn't believe I had the strength to walk away. Anyway, needless to say that turned to shit. We were living together, which made the breakup worse. I wasted so much time and money before and during this one sided sick excuse for a relationship. I also went through a three and a half month Saturn transit (retrograding over my Moon) that kicked in just after I dumped that life sucking bitch. By the time I moved into my own place I was drained, broken, had no money, and was so disconnected. The only place available that I could afford, I later realized, is next to a house of fucking kikes, who I often have to interact with and I do have to appear friendly to these vile fucking abominations. Nevertheless I have been fighting hard to put all that past shit out of my mind, focus and my goals and get properly back into my Spiritual Path, which I neglected for that bitch I wasted so much on. (no blame shifting; I know it was my choice). It has been so fucking hard though, stop and start, subconsciously sabotaging myself, allowing obsession of the recent past to distract me. I have made progress as far as being focused and having a lot more control of my mind and emotions, and through all this "bad" shit I have learned LOTS. The Saturn transit is over, and nothing is really distracting me anymore, but shit just keeps going wrong. I had gotten up to three and a half hours a day of consistent Meditation and last night somehow did the Immortal Breath wrong, and fucked up my back. I can only lie down, sit, breath fairly shallow, and keep my torso totally still. Any movement beyond this and it spasms and hurts like shit. So, another stop to my meditations and just before a CRITICAL fucking stage of what I have to do. This, getting a job, everything involved in my plans and progress keeps fucking out and I don't know why. I know life has its difficulties and not everything works out all the time, but this is unreasonable. I thought the Saturn transit and me not having prepared for it was to blame, as all the setbacks etc were emotionally difficult and the Moon rules feelings and emotions. But that has been over for four weeks now, and there are no others, and things still seem to be against me.
OK so enough of the explaining which is now sounding like complaining, why I am writing this is to see if anyone can tell me why this might be happening, so I can fix it. I'm going to begin a Runic Working today to heal my back, and an affirmation to help things go right for me, tonight. I'm just truly fucked off that this happened now, as Monday I am to begin the most important Working of my life and I need my Energies up and strong for it. And this fucking injury has fucked that up. But I gotta do what I can. I know that even though I brought all of this year's difficulty on myself, even through that, I have grown, become stronger and wiser, and learned so much. So I'm keeping my faith in spite of this shit and will never give up. I just want to understand this, so I can rectify it and progress.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any insight and advice!

Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!

And Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[Hot Guy]

if you have trouble finding someone human wise you cold always try something with a demon

i am fairly new to satanism so i do not know much on this 

but

i have heard of some here in past messages on how they have mentioned relationships with demons.

so if you want you could always go that route i suppose.

although i am not gonna just do that immediately i want to try to find someone here regular human wise first and if after enough years that does not work out for me once i become more advanced in my satanism i may decide to go that route if regular humans after enough years do not work out for me.

hey what can i say everyone has their own preference and ways of doing and/or wanting things.

From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Saturday, September 8, 2012 9:28 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Continuous Setbacks, Seeking Insight and Advice Please

  I get it man.The wrong woman can really fuck your life up.It has happened to me more times then I care to admit.But that is why this time I did a ritual to find my wife,and the one Satan gave me.At my age I just can't afford any more heart aches caused by xtian woman.Sadly that is all I have ever known before finding my SS wife.But I am impressed about how you have changed your life,and I think you will find it will get even better from here on out.Do like me and don't just settle for being with someone.I told Satan that I will only be with an SS woman from now on,or stay single the rest of my life.The Gods picked up on my sincerity,and now I have her.So never give up on true Satanic love,because it is out there for you,and everyone else that chooses to have Satan's best.
 Hail Satan
Brian 

From: Way_Seeker666 <way_seeker666@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, September 7, 2012 3:07 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Continuous Setbacks, Seeking Insight and Advice Please

  Before I begin, I'm writing both about how I feel, and from an analytical/logical point of view. It may come across as seeming to be from a negative view or whatever but here me when I say I am trying my utmost to remain positive and fight through this, and I don't feel I am being at all negative. However I am open to whatever my brothers and sisters here have to say.
This year has been quite horrible. It has been intensely painful and basically just one fuck up after the other. Up until early August I really have only myself to blame for what I went through. Last year I got into a relationship my gut had repeatedly told me not to, and Father Satan had said too, "she is not the girl for you". I thought I loved her, and didn't believe I had the strength to walk away. Anyway, needless to say that turned to shit. We were living together, which made the breakup worse. I wasted so much time and money before and during this one sided sick excuse for a relationship. I also went through a three and a half month Saturn transit (retrograding over my Moon) that kicked in just after I dumped that life sucking bitch. By the time I moved into my own place I was drained, broken, had no money, and was so disconnected. The only place available that I could afford, I later realized, is next to a house of fucking kikes, who I often have to interact with and I do have to appear friendly to these vile fucking abominations. Nevertheless I have been fighting hard to put all that past shit out of my mind, focus and my goals and get properly back into my Spiritual Path, which I neglected for that bitch I wasted so much on. (no blame shifting; I know it was my choice). It has been so fucking hard though, stop and start, subconsciously sabotaging myself, allowing obsession of the recent past to distract me. I have made progress as far as being focused and having a lot more control of my mind and emotions, and through all this "bad" shit I have learned LOTS. The Saturn transit is over, and nothing is really distracting me anymore, but shit just keeps going wrong. I had gotten up to three and a half hours a day of consistent Meditation and last night somehow did the Immortal Breath wrong, and fucked up my back. I can only lie down, sit, breath fairly shallow, and keep my torso totally still. Any movement beyond this and it spasms and hurts like shit. So, another stop to my meditations and just before a CRITICAL fucking stage of what I have to do. This, getting a job, everything involved in my plans and progress keeps fucking out and I don't know why. I know life has its difficulties and not everything works out all the time, but this is unreasonable. I thought the Saturn transit and me not having prepared for it was to blame, as all the setbacks etc were emotionally difficult and the Moon rules feelings and emotions. But that has been over for four weeks now, and there are no others, and things still seem to be against me.
OK so enough of the explaining which is now sounding like complaining, why I am writing this is to see if anyone can tell me why this might be happening, so I can fix it. I'm going to begin a Runic Working today to heal my back, and an affirmation to help things go right for me, tonight. I'm just truly fucked off that this happened now, as Monday I am to begin the most important Working of my life and I need my Energies up and strong for it. And this fucking injury has fucked that up. But I gotta do what I can. I know that even though I brought all of this year's difficulty on myself, even through that, I have grown, become stronger and wiser, and learned so much. So I'm keeping my faith in spite of this shit and will never give up. I just want to understand this, so I can rectify it and progress.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any insight and advice!

Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!

And Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[hoodedcobra666]

Well, I guess its time to solve that shit. First of don't make any thoughts that you have left Satan down or disobeyed Him or anyway. You didn't do anything, other than not listening to your gut. Make that a lesson and from now on heed Satan's advice and your advice from your own self. It can be hardcore. Recently I've been going through a Saturn transit which is almost over. When it started and for like 2-3 months that I didn't know for shit what was happening, I suffered, slept for like 18 hours a day and got attacked constantly. Over that I have left my meditations down and I felt extreme drain and fatigue out of nowhere. Not to mention family problems. I hadn't saw that coming and I was not prepared.

So here is what you can do. First of all, do ALL your meditations. If your mind reacts and tries to destroys your progress, or whatever, just use your will power to keep it in place. If that sounds hard, lets say you meditate and suddenly you want to rise the fuck out of meditation, or fall asleep. This is a common sign of reaction by your mind. You may also get battered by thoughts of your past, irrational fears or whatever. Just DO NOT STOP. When these hit, you hit harder back and do not get out of the place you meditate before the meditations are done. Another common sign of this is feeling like 'meditation is so much'. Just freaking move on. These are signs that your mind has been programmed to resist your control, thus is at the control of someone else's or your fate and this alone. Thats a no-go and it will destroy you most likely, as it does to millions of people. As for your back, do you healing working.

Meditation wise you can do what you did always, but add strong cleansings and the Munka meditation. Here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/40921. Now your obsession that comes from emotions, is of the water element probably. So you may need either some earth element, some air or even fire element to balance it out. Check your chart of this, what element you may be lacking or whatever. Knowing your chart is good so you can know either when the shit hits the fan, or when the goodies of life are coming your way to palpilate them. Do your protective aura with the rune Algiz 4 times a day at the very best and do that everyday for 40 days. You can use the visudee mantra for extra cleansing from the energy.

Keep in your mind that this is over and in reality it doesn't exist anymore, other than the energy you give it and the influence it has on you from which you will be escaping soon.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Way_Seeker666" <way_seeker666@... wrote:

Before I begin, I'm writing both about how I feel, and from an analytical/logical point of view. It may come across as seeming to be from a negative view or whatever but here me when I say I am trying my utmost to remain positive and fight through this, and I don't feel I am being at all negative. However I am open to whatever my brothers and sisters here have to say.
This year has been quite horrible. It has been intensely painful and basically just one fuck up after the other. Up until early August I really have only myself to blame for what I went through. Last year I got into a relationship my gut had repeatedly told me not to, and Father Satan had said too, "she is not the girl for you". I thought I loved her, and didn't believe I had the strength to walk away. Anyway, needless to say that turned to shit. We were living together, which made the breakup worse. I wasted so much time and money before and during this one sided sick excuse for a relationship. I also went through a three and a half month Saturn transit (retrograding over my Moon) that kicked in just after I dumped that life sucking bitch. By the time I moved into my own place I was drained, broken, had no money, and was so disconnected. The only place available that I could afford, I later realized, is next to a house of fucking kikes, who I often have to interact with and I do have to appear friendly to these vile fucking abominations. Nevertheless I have been fighting hard to put all that past shit out of my mind, focus and my goals and get properly back into my Spiritual Path, which I neglected for that bitch I wasted so much on. (no blame shifting; I know it was my choice). It has been so fucking hard though, stop and start, subconsciously sabotaging myself, allowing obsession of the recent past to distract me. I have made progress as far as being focused and having a lot more control of my mind and emotions, and through all this "bad" shit I have learned LOTS. The Saturn transit is over, and nothing is really distracting me anymore, but shit just keeps going wrong. I had gotten up to three and a half hours a day of consistent Meditation and last night somehow did the Immortal Breath wrong, and fucked up my back. I can only lie down, sit, breath fairly shallow, and keep my torso totally still. Any movement beyond this and it spasms and hurts like shit. So, another stop to my meditations and just before a CRITICAL fucking stage of what I have to do. This, getting a job, everything involved in my plans and progress keeps fucking out and I don't know why. I know life has its difficulties and not everything works out all the time, but this is unreasonable. I thought the Saturn transit and me not having prepared for it was to blame, as all the setbacks etc were emotionally difficult and the Moon rules feelings and emotions. But that has been over for four weeks now, and there are no others, and things still seem to be against me.
OK so enough of the explaining which is now sounding like complaining, why I am writing this is to see if anyone can tell me why this might be happening, so I can fix it. I'm going to begin a Runic Working today to heal my back, and an affirmation to help things go right for me, tonight. I'm just truly fucked off that this happened now, as Monday I am to begin the most important Working of my life and I need my Energies up and strong for it. And this fucking injury has fucked that up. But I gotta do what I can. I know that even though I brought all of this year's difficulty on myself, even through that, I have grown, become stronger and wiser, and learned so much. So I'm keeping my faith in spite of this shit and will never give up. I just want to understand this, so I can rectify it and progress.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any insight and advice!

Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!

And Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[Way_Seeker6661]

Thank you Brian. I've made the same decision - I will not get into the wrong relationship again. I have learned from this how to properly analyze any future girls I want to be with. And of course myself. I know now that I do not yet know what true love is really. But I do know that unless Satan unites me with my True Soulmate, the feeling of love is not one that comes quickly. It takes time to develop if it is true. I've learned MUCH more than this, but this gets the point across. I'm trying to get it into my head that ONLY a Spiritual Satanist, my True Soulmate, is who I want and is the only girl I will go into a relationship with. It just cant work, cant be good for me otherwise.
Although, I leave this to Satan's Will. When He confirms that I am truly ready for it, and I decide I want it, I will ask Him to let me meet her. I don't have space in my life for that now, and honestly don't really want it. I have more important things to focus on and do.


Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!
Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[Way_Seeker6661]

Thank you Hooded Cobra!
I was about to say "I'm doing all that but these problems are from the outside". Bullshit. You've made me take a hard look at his and do it honestly, and it all comes down to me. As a Satanist, I can ALWAYS do something to solve an issue. I don't feel like I've let Satan down. I let myself down choosing to be weak, choosing the "nicer" way instead of the hard truth. I do feel a sort of soft shame if that makes sense, for not listening to Him. like, Why would I not take His advice, the most Loving and Perfect Being in existence. But I'm not dwelling on it, I want to fix this.
With what you said, about fighting my mind, I am doing this. that night I posted this first message, I was feeling sorry for myself and became aware that some part of my mind was happy for this excuse to not do my Meditations. So I sad "fuck it" and I did them. To my surprise I can still do Hatha Yoga and the Ten Breaths if I am careful and very gentle. Not as well as usual but still I can do them. I have for now only stopped my morning Meditations as lying down to sleep causes stiffness and pain when I get up and I don't want to force it. And looking at this with ruthless honesty I see it was due to me again, that I hurt my back. So its up to me to fix this. Point is, I am growing, fighting, taking this more and more seriously. I have been dedicated 3 years and I am SICK of fucking things up and looking at how my progress should be so much more, this year I change all of that. And this was confirmed last night by an amazing visit from Father Satan...
Thank you all for your help. It is such a blessing being able to communicate with My Brothers and Sisters.



Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!
Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[Draco Majinn]

You were the victim of a psychic vampire. There are a few things you said which make me absolutely sure of that, firstly you consciosuly knew the relationship wasn't what you wanted but felt compelled to anyway. (Thoughts and feelings not your own) Secondly, it has spiritually depleted you. Don't think the problem with your spine and getting a job are completely unrelated to your relationship, when your energies are depleted, misfortunes like this are common. That is why hardships and emotional upset continues to come your way.

Psychic vampires are far more common than people think, there are two kinds, those spiritually empowered and aware enough to drain the energy of others purposefully, (some even have auras programmed to feed off others energy automatically) and the second kind which most psychic vampires full into, which is the one your ex girlfriend was, the psychic vampire who's own energies have been so drained and depleted throughout their lives, that they now unconsciously drain others in order to sustain themselves. This kind is becoming extremely common because of the nature of human life today, thanks to the enemy.

The question is now of course, how can you over come this and prevent this sort of thing happening again? You already know the answer to this one I am guessing, If you empower your chakras, strenghten your aura and balance the elements of your soul as well as get your mind trained, you will easily be able to resist a psychic vampire and avoid such problems in the future. (A trained mind always recognizes thoughts and feelings that are not it's own) Your life will begin to improve once your energies are again intact.

This wasn't your fault, you were a victim here, you do not need to learn any deep philosophical lessons, you just need a stronger mind and soul. So don't let it hurt your self esteem, self worth etc or beat yourself up about it.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Way_Seeker666" <way_seeker666@... wrote:

Before I begin, I'm writing both about how I feel, and from an analytical/logical point of view. It may come across as seeming to be from a negative view or whatever but here me when I say I am trying my utmost to remain positive and fight through this, and I don't feel I am being at all negative. However I am open to whatever my brothers and sisters here have to say.
This year has been quite horrible. It has been intensely painful and basically just one fuck up after the other. Up until early August I really have only myself to blame for what I went through. Last year I got into a relationship my gut had repeatedly told me not to, and Father Satan had said too, "she is not the girl for you". I thought I loved her, and didn't believe I had the strength to walk away. Anyway, needless to say that turned to shit. We were living together, which made the breakup worse. I wasted so much time and money before and during this one sided sick excuse for a relationship. I also went through a three and a half month Saturn transit (retrograding over my Moon) that kicked in just after I dumped that life sucking bitch. By the time I moved into my own place I was drained, broken, had no money, and was so disconnected. The only place available that I could afford, I later realized, is next to a house of fucking kikes, who I often have to interact with and I do have to appear friendly to these vile fucking abominations. Nevertheless I have been fighting hard to put all that past shit out of my mind, focus and my goals and get properly back into my Spiritual Path, which I neglected for that bitch I wasted so much on. (no blame shifting; I know it was my choice). It has been so fucking hard though, stop and start, subconsciously sabotaging myself, allowing obsession of the recent past to distract me. I have made progress as far as being focused and having a lot more control of my mind and emotions, and through all this "bad" shit I have learned LOTS. The Saturn transit is over, and nothing is really distracting me anymore, but shit just keeps going wrong. I had gotten up to three and a half hours a day of consistent Meditation and last night somehow did the Immortal Breath wrong, and fucked up my back. I can only lie down, sit, breath fairly shallow, and keep my torso totally still. Any movement beyond this and it spasms and hurts like shit. So, another stop to my meditations and just before a CRITICAL fucking stage of what I have to do. This, getting a job, everything involved in my plans and progress keeps fucking out and I don't know why. I know life has its difficulties and not everything works out all the time, but this is unreasonable. I thought the Saturn transit and me not having prepared for it was to blame, as all the setbacks etc were emotionally difficult and the Moon rules feelings and emotions. But that has been over for four weeks now, and there are no others, and things still seem to be against me.
OK so enough of the explaining which is now sounding like complaining, why I am writing this is to see if anyone can tell me why this might be happening, so I can fix it. I'm going to begin a Runic Working today to heal my back, and an affirmation to help things go right for me, tonight. I'm just truly fucked off that this happened now, as Monday I am to begin the most important Working of my life and I need my Energies up and strong for it. And this fucking injury has fucked that up. But I gotta do what I can. I know that even though I brought all of this year's difficulty on myself, even through that, I have grown, become stronger and wiser, and learned so much. So I'm keeping my faith in spite of this shit and will never give up. I just want to understand this, so I can rectify it and progress.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any insight and advice!

Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!

And Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[jhd4412]

I know what you mean, in terms of continuous setbacks. I decided to go my own way and follow my own gut. Just follow gut instincts. I haven't heard Father much. However, it is my understanding that he is usually right, if not always. Personally, the way i see it. Don't go after every girl you see. I'm not saying you are. I don't worry much about relationships only increasing my power. There aren't many compatible people for satanists these days/people who follow the ways of the gods/old.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Way_Seeker666" <way_seeker666@... wrote:

Before I begin, I'm writing both about how I feel, and from an analytical/logical point of view. It may come across as seeming to be from a negative view or whatever but here me when I say I am trying my utmost to remain positive and fight through this, and I don't feel I am being at all negative. However I am open to whatever my brothers and sisters here have to say.
This year has been quite horrible. It has been intensely painful and basically just one fuck up after the other. Up until early August I really have only myself to blame for what I went through. Last year I got into a relationship my gut had repeatedly told me not to, and Father Satan had said too, "she is not the girl for you". I thought I loved her, and didn't believe I had the strength to walk away. Anyway, needless to say that turned to shit. We were living together, which made the breakup worse. I wasted so much time and money before and during this one sided sick excuse for a relationship. I also went through a three and a half month Saturn transit (retrograding over my Moon) that kicked in just after I dumped that life sucking bitch. By the time I moved into my own place I was drained, broken, had no money, and was so disconnected. The only place available that I could afford, I later realized, is next to a house of fucking kikes, who I often have to interact with and I do have to appear friendly to these vile fucking abominations. Nevertheless I have been fighting hard to put all that past shit out of my mind, focus and my goals and get properly back into my Spiritual Path, which I neglected for that bitch I wasted so much on. (no blame shifting; I know it was my choice). It has been so fucking hard though, stop and start, subconsciously sabotaging myself, allowing obsession of the recent past to distract me. I have made progress as far as being focused and having a lot more control of my mind and emotions, and through all this "bad" shit I have learned LOTS. The Saturn transit is over, and nothing is really distracting me anymore, but shit just keeps going wrong. I had gotten up to three and a half hours a day of consistent Meditation and last night somehow did the Immortal Breath wrong, and fucked up my back. I can only lie down, sit, breath fairly shallow, and keep my torso totally still. Any movement beyond this and it spasms and hurts like shit. So, another stop to my meditations and just before a CRITICAL fucking stage of what I have to do. This, getting a job, everything involved in my plans and progress keeps fucking out and I don't know why. I know life has its difficulties and not everything works out all the time, but this is unreasonable. I thought the Saturn transit and me not having prepared for it was to blame, as all the setbacks etc were emotionally difficult and the Moon rules feelings and emotions. But that has been over for four weeks now, and there are no others, and things still seem to be against me.
OK so enough of the explaining which is now sounding like complaining, why I am writing this is to see if anyone can tell me why this might be happening, so I can fix it. I'm going to begin a Runic Working today to heal my back, and an affirmation to help things go right for me, tonight. I'm just truly fucked off that this happened now, as Monday I am to begin the most important Working of my life and I need my Energies up and strong for it. And this fucking injury has fucked that up. But I gotta do what I can. I know that even though I brought all of this year's difficulty on myself, even through that, I have grown, become stronger and wiser, and learned so much. So I'm keeping my faith in spite of this shit and will never give up. I just want to understand this, so I can rectify it and progress.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any insight and advice!

Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!

And Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

As you know I have waited half my life to find Raven,and it was more then worth the wait.There is nothing like having the same spiritual beliefs.No matter what happens in our life,I know in my heart we both love Satan,and are fully awake to the reality of a Satanic life.Like I said,when you feel you are ready,and you show Satan and our Gods,that you are not willing to settle anymore,then you will find your soul mate.I am convinced that it was my decision to divorce a very tolerant xtian woman in my life,that proved that I would only except an SS into my life,and that is when it happened for Raven and I.Plus the fact that at my age,I didn't have much more time in this incarnation.So just hang in there.Satan knows just what we need better then we do.

 Hail Satan
Brian 

From: Way_Seeker666 <way_seeker666@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, September 9, 2012 3:47 AM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Continuous Setbacks, Seeking Insight and Advice Please

  Thank you Brian. I've made the same decision - I will not get into the wrong relationship again. I have learned from this how to properly analyze any future girls I want to be with. And of course myself. I know now that I do not yet know what true love is really. But I do know that unless Satan unites me with my True Soulmate, the feeling of love is not one that comes quickly. It takes time to develop if it is true. I've learned MUCH more than this, but this gets the point across. I'm trying to get it into my head that ONLY a Spiritual Satanist, my True Soulmate, is who I want and is the only girl I will go into a relationship with. It just cant work, cant be good for me otherwise.
Although, I leave this to Satan's Will. When He confirms that I am truly ready for it, and I decide I want it, I will ask Him to let me meet her. I don't have space in my life for that now, and honestly don't really want it. I have more important things to focus on and do.

Hail To Our Father!!!
Hail Goddess Maat!!!
Hail The Four Crowns!!!
Hail To All The Mighty Gods and Goddesses Of Hell!!!
Hail To All My Brothers And Sisters In Satan!!!