What is the best way to act when a group of people or society makes fun of or excludes you or both?
Relationships Being a loner
1 min to readA group of people, okay, but the whole society? What do you do to make sure you're the center of everyone's attention?
"Human beings must become enlightened in order to find their way in the dark. Becoming enlightened means becoming smart travelers, who acquire knowledge of the way, an understanding of the local language and friendship with other travelers. We are all travelers in eternity." Thoth
I guess mostly astrology and karma but It's not that hard to be hated by most of the people.
I guess mostly astrology and karma but It's not that hard to be hated by most of the people.
If you live among a group of people, that group is not necessarily the majority among all the people who live on Earth or in your country.
I'll give you an example, a real-life example.:
If you need to visit a dangerous and criminal area where poorly provided and poor people live, or your area has recently become such and you have real estate in it, but you need to check it and pay bills for it, you will appear in such areas and dress accordingly (so that you do not get robbed).
When I went into the store in such clothes to pick up an order and started asking questions about the execution of the order, about my order in a prestigious area, a young girl (the seller) was rude to me and laughed at me behind my back, she saw ridicule in my appearance, I saw in the reflection of the mirror, which she thought I did not see.
The next time I came in my true form (dressed as a lawyer who negotiates with representatives of large businesses with the appropriate hairstyle) to pick up my other order, this young girl was shocked by my jacket, she was directly examining the quality of the fabric and realized how much salary she needed to buy this jacket which the men in her social circle can't afford. This girl's behavior, attitude, tone of communication, timbre of voice and culture of speech, politeness, smile, her eyes immediately changed towards me, everything changed so much when she realized that she was facing a completely different person from the one she saw in me at the first meeting.
At the first meeting, at the level of vibrations, I felt that she did not consider me to be a person and looked at me like a dog (when I was dressed for a poor and criminal area, so as not to be robbed), at the second meeting, when she realized from clothes that I was actually in a higher position In terms of her social and financial status, as well as her environment, by which she looks at men and people in general, she behaved in front of me in a way that simply cannot be described in words.
In any case, no matter how I was dressed or what my appearance was, I was still the same person that this girl couldn't see when she first met her.
But depending on my appearance (clothes, grooming), regardless of the reasons why I was dressed, there was a completely different attitude towards me.
This example shows how people can treat you, depending on how you look.
It's probably not all of society that excludes you. To be sure of it, once you're in a certain mindset it's easy to feel as if all eyes are on you. In reality, it's almost never the case.
Obviously, you do not wish to associate with a group of people who are making fun of you or are actively excluding you. The advice here can be easier said than done, but even if you're more introverted or prone to being a loner than most, it is still worth having friends. Even the most shut-in people I've known open up and can't stop talking once they feel comfortable with someone.
The point is, once you know it's not literally everyone who is set against you, it's easier to go about your day to day. It's even easier than that if you're doing so with others, even just one.
Although making great friends isn't usually simple, it's honestly easier to start than what many people think. Everyone has hobbies and interests. You may have hobbies some other people mock, but inevitably there are other people out there who share your interests. There's a million and one forums and apps these days for all sorts of things. Even if your thing was card games there are local hangouts for that. Sharing an interest with someone is the perfect starting ground for more.
I give this advice, as the more you feel on your own, the more magnified the paranoia becomes that everyone is out to get you. It's okay to have less social battery than other people, but again, humans are social creatures, and I am yet in life to meet anyone so abnormal (beyond people who should unironically be in care homes) that cannot find at least some patch of common ground with someone, so long as they're willing to try.
Thank you for your response, but how should I act towards people excluding me? Just move on?
Thank you for your response, but how should I act towards people excluding me? Just move on?
Like SG Hidden Warrior says, it's not worth wasting time and emotions on people who exclude you. Either they are doing so in a benign fashion as there is simply an incompatibility here, or they are actively being hostile. In either case, there is really nothing to find there. I have seen plenty of false friend groups where it's visible someone is the outsider, it's not something you would want for yourself.
There was one situation, all the way back when I was at school, where two of the people I thought were friends started acting weird and began exclusively hanging with each other. Eventually they outright and quite cruelly said they didn't want me around anymore, so I immediately ceased and made other friends.
A month later they said it was boring without me and they wanted me back. Naturally I rejected this (and given I was young, in not especially polite terms either). You should have self worth and associate with people who do want you. I've never seen any actual friendships blossom from someone trying to force someone else to like them.
You cannot force yourself to be liked by a group of people, so the choice is to move on.
If you are in school or at work, and your colleagues don't include you in activities, just move on. You don't need to beg for their attention. Be proud of yourself.
For personal experience, I have coworkers that hang out between them, because they are totally different from me and we don't even share the same interests. But I don't feel they exclude me, as I am the first that I am not interested in hanging with them.
All the above on the conditions that you don't act hostile towards them. If you are harsh, hostile, very cold and treat them with disrespect, it is natural that they would ignore you.
Apollo's Astrology: https://www.astroapollo.org
It is most likely your personality that drives people away. This is a strange topic because people feel "excluded" but in reality they are excluding themselves from the society by being heavily isolated, introverted and uncommunicative. Society is inherently and naturally composed of people who have no issues to integrate and communicate with everyone else. Imagine for example a group of 100 isolated people versus a group of 100 communicative and outgoing people. There is no society in the group of isolated people as everyone is "on their own" and separated from everyone else, whereas in a group of 100 communicative people everyone would spend time together, talking to each other, forming smaller groups of people who are more "compatible" with each other etc. An example that comes to mind that I have seen before, is random people taking the train to go somewhere, versus a large group of random people who take the train to go to a football match, they all support the same team and all sing along together etc. Much easier to socialize with the football supporters in this example.
You have to develop some level of social skills in other to integrate and create connections with other people, there is no other way and also most of the time there is no excuse really. The easiest would be with people at your workplace as you spend most of the day with them and is a lot easier to talk about various things, unless you have a job where you work on your own mostly. As for people "making fun of you", this is again your personality that you have to improve. People can be rude, reckless, ignorant, your personality and how you react to them is what sets the boundaries.
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First of all, you need to understand what is the reason for people's behavior towards you.
A person can be ridiculed and bullied for a variety of unrelated reasons, but usually the reason why this happens is the same and it is necessary to understand why this happens.
If the reason is external behavior (victim behavior), or external (defiant) clothing, for example, it is enough to change behavior and clothing among a certain circle of people so as not to cause a negative reaction, especially if you see that the people who do this are andrapods.
The age at which this happens is also important.
Bullying of a teenager or an adult usually has different causes and motives.
If you tell us in more detail about the situation and an approximate understanding of the age at which it occurs, among which groups of people and where exactly, it will be possible to find the root of your problem in order to help you completely fix it.
«You will find on the left of the halls of Hades a spring, and standing by it a white cypress. Do not approach this spring at all. You will find another, from the Lake of Memory, with cold water flowing from it. Guardians stand before it. Say: 'I am a child of Earth and starry Heaven, but my race is of Heaven alone. You know this yourselves. I am parched with thirst and am perishing. Give me quickly the cold water flowing from the Lake of Memory.' And they will give you to drink from the sacred spring, and after that you will reign among the other heroes» - From the Petelia Tablet (300-200 BCE)
I'm wondering, are these people who you want to be around and admire/hope to become like them? I know that being excluded can hurt, humans need connection, even introverts and loners, and many people will go out of their way to find it even if it means selling themselves short and being unappreciated. There are better ways to do this and everyone is capable of learning how and why to go about it. How exactly you should act in response to what you are facing varies and it would help to have more insights on what you are facing.
Something to reflect on is Zeus' Virtue IV, 'Society':
Society
In the Temple of Zeus, society and community are very important. We exist as parts of a society, a greater whole, a web of human relations and affairs.
This encompasses the external world that we live in as a whole, but also, and most importantly, our internal community. The smallest cluster of this community is the family, or our relationships.
All are to be respected, but the internal community of our Temple should be held in the highest and most sacred regard.
Those who act in the best interest of all apply this virtue properly. We are not meant to exist as passive, idle beings; rather, we are to ensure we leave a better society behind, in accordance with our powers, when we depart from this world.
One must also keep in mind that, just two steps prior on the ladder of Ethics, we were at war; if society wages war on us, we must wage a defensive war of self-preservation in return.
We know that any such move would be unjustified and the product of the work of the Yehuborim, as we are here only to fight valiantly to wake others up, not to cause further ruin.
Yet, we must still look for the good in it, because we know, as those with open eyes, that through knowledge, ignorance shall be overcome in the end.
In general, our existence and foundation as social entities cannot be underestimated, nor can it be overestimated. A necessary balance between ourselves and the world must be maintained.
We cannot live in separation, nor fulfill our tasks, greater or lesser, without society. Therefore, we must do our best to be lights within society.
Δ
Prayer:
“O Master Zeus,
You assembled the first humans and taught them the ways to live together.
Enlighten us, therefore,
In the establishment of a noble community,
O Father!”
I think basic social skills, self-love and some other things like cultivated interests and a willingness to cooperate are important to have when we try to find a place in society. Many people in society can act in ways that excludes people they do not understand or disagree with, which is not something we can control.
This is the targeted message.
If a particular group of people undervalues and excludes you, the best thing you can do is not to waste your time and energy on them, but rather to seek out others who are more compatible with you and who share your ideals, interests, and tastes.