Relationships: Being a loner

Today at 3:18 AM#1

This is the targeted message.

A group of people, okay, but the whole society? What do you do to make sure you're the center of everyone's attention?

"Human beings must become enlightened in order to find their way in the dark. Becoming enlightened means becoming smart travelers, who acquire knowledge of the way, an understanding of the local language and friendship with other travelers. We are all travelers in eternity." Thoth

https://vultustemplorum.org/vultustemplorum.org

Ask Zeus OperatorToday at 8:22 AM

I guess mostly astrology and karma but It's not that hard to be hated by most of the people.

Today at 1:42 PM#2

It's probably not all of society that excludes you. To be sure of it, once you're in a certain mindset it's easy to feel as if all eyes are on you. In reality, it's almost never the case.

Obviously, you do not wish to associate with a group of people who are making fun of you or are actively excluding you. The advice here can be easier said than done, but even if you're more introverted or prone to being a loner than most, it is still worth having friends. Even the most shut-in people I've known open up and can't stop talking once they feel comfortable with someone.

The point is, once you know it's not literally everyone who is set against you, it's easier to go about your day to day. It's even easier than that if you're doing so with others, even just one.

Although making great friends isn't usually simple, it's honestly easier to start than what many people think. Everyone has hobbies and interests. You may have hobbies some other people mock, but inevitably there are other people out there who share your interests. There's a million and one forums and apps these days for all sorts of things. Even if your thing was card games there are local hangouts for that. Sharing an interest with someone is the perfect starting ground for more.

I give this advice, as the more you feel on your own, the more magnified the paranoia becomes that everyone is out to get you. It's okay to have less social battery than other people, but again, humans are social creatures, and I am yet in life to meet anyone so abnormal (beyond people who should unironically be in care homes) that cannot find at least some patch of common ground with someone, so long as they're willing to try.

It's probably not all of society that excludes you. To be sure of it, once you're in a certain mindset it's easy to feel as if all eyes are on you. In reality, it's almost never the case.

Obviously, you do not wish to associate with a group of people who are making fun of you or are actively excluding you. The advice here can be easier said than done, but even if you're more introverted or prone to being a loner than most, it is still worth having friends. Even the most shut-in people I've known open up and can't stop talking once they feel comfortable with someone.

The point is, once you know it's not literally everyone who is set against you, it's easier to go about your day to day. It's even easier than that if you're doing so with others, even just one.

Although making great friends isn't usually simple, it's honestly easier to start than what many people think. Everyone has hobbies and interests. You may have hobbies some other people mock, but inevitably there are other people out there who share your interests. There's a million and one forums and apps these days for all sorts of things. Even if your thing was card games there are local hangouts for that. Sharing an interest with someone is the perfect starting ground for more.

I give this advice, as the more you feel on your own, the more magnified the paranoia becomes that everyone is out to get you. It's okay to have less social battery than other people, but again, humans are social creatures, and I am yet in life to meet anyone so abnormal (beyond people who should unironically be in care homes) that cannot find at least some patch of common ground with someone, so long as they're willing to try.

Ask Zeus OperatorToday at 1:49 PM

Thank you for your response, but how should I act towards people excluding me? Just move on?

Arcadia [NG]Today at 2:48 PM

Ask Zeus Operatorsaid:post: 1210330
Thank you for your response, but how should I act towards people excluding me? Just move on?

Like SG Hidden Warrior says, it's not worth wasting time and emotions on people who exclude you. Either they are doing so in a benign fashion as there is simply an incompatibility here, or they are actively being hostile. In either case, there is really nothing to find there. I have seen plenty of false friend groups where it's visible someone is the outsider, it's not something you would want for yourself.

There was one situation, all the way back when I was at school, where two of the people I thought were friends started acting weird and began exclusively hanging with each other. Eventually they outright and quite cruelly said they didn't want me around anymore, so I immediately ceased and made other friends.

A month later they said it was boring without me and they wanted me back. Naturally I rejected this (and given I was young, in not especially polite terms either). You should have self worth and associate with people who do want you. I've never seen any actual friendships blossom from someone trying to force someone else to like them.

Ask Zeus Operatorsaid:post: 1210330
Thank you for your response, but how should I act towards people excluding me? Just move on?

Like SG Hidden Warrior says, it's not worth wasting time and emotions on people who exclude you. Either they are doing so in a benign fashion as there is simply an incompatibility here, or they are actively being hostile. In either case, there is really nothing to find there. I have seen plenty of false friend groups where it's visible someone is the outsider, it's not something you would want for yourself.

There was one situation, all the way back when I was at school, where two of the people I thought were friends started acting weird and began exclusively hanging with each other. Eventually they outright and quite cruelly said they didn't want me around anymore, so I immediately ceased and made other friends.

A month later they said it was boring without me and they wanted me back. Naturally I rejected this (and given I was young, in not especially polite terms either). You should have self worth and associate with people who do want you. I've never seen any actual friendships blossom from someone trying to force someone else to like them.

Today at 2:41 PM#3

You cannot force yourself to be liked by a group of people, so the choice is to move on.

If you are in school or at work, and your colleagues don't include you in activities, just move on. You don't need to beg for their attention. Be proud of yourself.

For personal experience, I have coworkers that hang out between them, because they are totally different from me and we don't even share the same interests. But I don't feel they exclude me, as I am the first that I am not interested in hanging with them.

All the above on the conditions that you don't act hostile towards them. If you are harsh, hostile, very cold and treat them with disrespect, it is natural that they would ignore you.

Apollo's Astrology: https://www.astroapollo.org