Returning to the path and seeking advice.
I was a follower and occultist for 3 years. I stopped in 2021 due to an experience that sort of spooked me due to ongoings in my personal life. However, I've felt empty since leaving the spiritual path and am seeking a way to return.
After 3 years of meditation and experiments with vision guided rituals, I had reached the point of being able to enter trance and hearing the spirit audibly. I had succeeded in manifesting paimon after a year of effort, trumpets, hooves, and all.
The two things that had spooked me were:
1. I had a dream where I was in a greek looking area, a mailman drove up to me and put me in the back of a sort of ambulance. There, the mailman and 3 others cut open my stomach and pulled out a ball of what looked like golden yarn and said "this is what happens when you eat people". I felt every last bit of it. I was then transported to my house in, but everything was greyish. A familiar face, pretty much a dude dressed in a suit, said "we didn't do this to you, but we can teach you how to protect yourself". Then a blond haired girl, who I often see attending my guides in dreams, walked up and directed me to the mirror, my face morphed into a sort of draconic looking thing and then I woke up. Everything started manifesting more vividly after this, like my senses had been forced open.
2. I was in a very dark place due to my gf of the time having cheated on me multiple times and being sexually assaulted by one of the men she cheated on me with. So I cursed him with ashtoreth, my intention was to invoke the darkest aspect of the goddess as I could. I created a focus, with bone, and also blood from my now ex, and asked that she interfere in any attempt by the other man and that she protect my gf. But the manifestation was dark. My gf, not knowing about the focus, started complaining about scratches on the floors and walls, growling from her empty dog kennel, and would send me videos of her shit shaking and falling off shelves and walls. For her sake I went on a struggle of banishing everything and left the path. Swore to never curse or use I'll intent again.
Prior to the manifestations I used geography to mark 5 points in my city and drew sigils at each point. On the map it made a Pentagram. I made offerings at each point, a sort of self invented ritual. Which is when stuff started ramping up.
It's been years now and I'd like to reopen my senses. The advice I'm seeking is where I went wrong, how to avoid my mistakes, and how to reopen my senses and connection. I sort of feel like spirit has abandoned me now. I haven't had a vision since the banishing, I can still sense spirits but not to the extent I used to. And I want to take up those spirits' offer of teaching me how to protect myself. Also if anyone could help me identify the spirits I was interacting with, I'd be grateful.
Spirit 1: a wolf that was mangled, black fur, that would guide me through certain visions. Usually to a house where humanoid spirits would be. Id also seen this wolf jump out in front my friend and I, whilst driving through a wooded area. He saw it too.
Spirit 2: the Spirit the wolf guided me to. A tall African man with pale blue eyes and very long finger nails. He'd usually point me to a room where I'd see what I was supposed to see before waking up.
Spirit 3: short blond girl who never made eye contact, she seemed like a servant. She was present and serving both the tall black figure and the next figure.
Spirit 4: a handsome but normal looking white dude in a suit. I've only seen him once. But he was the one that pulled be out of the dream where I was being cut open and said "they" could teach me to protect myself.
The numbers I've been seeing and using as synchronistic guides for 6 years are :222, 333, 555.
Any help, guidance or advice is very appreciated, I'm at a dead end.
I was a follower and occultist for 3 years. I stopped in 2021 due to an experience that sort of spooked me due to ongoings in my personal life. However, I've felt empty since leaving the spiritual path and am seeking a way to return.
After 3 years of meditation and experiments with vision guided rituals, I had reached the point of being able to enter trance and hearing the spirit audibly. I had succeeded in manifesting paimon after a year of effort, trumpets, hooves, and all.
The two things that had spooked me were:
1. I had a dream where I was in a greek looking area, a mailman drove up to me and put me in the back of a sort of ambulance. There, the mailman and 3 others cut open my stomach and pulled out a ball of what looked like golden yarn and said "this is what happens when you eat people". I felt every last bit of it. I was then transported to my house in, but everything was greyish. A familiar face, pretty much a dude dressed in a suit, said "we didn't do this to you, but we can teach you how to protect yourself". Then a blond haired girl, who I often see attending my guides in dreams, walked up and directed me to the mirror, my face morphed into a sort of draconic looking thing and then I woke up. Everything started manifesting more vividly after this, like my senses had been forced open.
2. I was in a very dark place due to my gf of the time having cheated on me multiple times and being sexually assaulted by one of the men she cheated on me with. So I cursed him with ashtoreth, my intention was to invoke the darkest aspect of the goddess as I could. I created a focus, with bone, and also blood from my now ex, and asked that she interfere in any attempt by the other man and that she protect my gf. But the manifestation was dark. My gf, not knowing about the focus, started complaining about scratches on the floors and walls, growling from her empty dog kennel, and would send me videos of her shit shaking and falling off shelves and walls. For her sake I went on a struggle of banishing everything and left the path. Swore to never curse or use I'll intent again.
Prior to the manifestations I used geography to mark 5 points in my city and drew sigils at each point. On the map it made a Pentagram. I made offerings at each point, a sort of self invented ritual. Which is when stuff started ramping up.
It's been years now and I'd like to reopen my senses. The advice I'm seeking is where I went wrong, how to avoid my mistakes, and how to reopen my senses and connection. I sort of feel like spirit has abandoned me now. I haven't had a vision since the banishing, I can still sense spirits but not to the extent I used to. And I want to take up those spirits' offer of teaching me how to protect myself. Also if anyone could help me identify the spirits I was interacting with, I'd be grateful.
Spirit 1: a wolf that was mangled, black fur, that would guide me through certain visions. Usually to a house where humanoid spirits would be. Id also seen this wolf jump out in front my friend and I, whilst driving through a wooded area. He saw it too.
Spirit 2: the Spirit the wolf guided me to. A tall African man with pale blue eyes and very long finger nails. He'd usually point me to a room where I'd see what I was supposed to see before waking up.
Spirit 3: short blond girl who never made eye contact, she seemed like a servant. She was present and serving both the tall black figure and the next figure.
Spirit 4: a handsome but normal looking white dude in a suit. I've only seen him once. But he was the one that pulled be out of the dream where I was being cut open and said "they" could teach me to protect myself.
The numbers I've been seeing and using as synchronistic guides for 6 years are :222, 333, 555.
Any help, guidance or advice is very appreciated, I'm at a dead end.
relationship, I have a relationship with a girl who has recently do to fucked up circumstances left me and I allowed her leave the city we was together in back to the other side of the state not knowing she was trying to break up with me and all terribly sad nightmare circumstances damn near I'm madly in love with her I failed us miserably and unbearably I've been dedicated since I was 17 I'm 31 the girl whom I've gotten to do the dedication ritual she dedicated but besides that regarding love spell relationship recovery restoration and retrieveing , does the love spell sex magic work come easier when the person attracting the other person have already had mad sexual relations and knows the others life force combined before familiar I have ascended our life force energy climax countless times directing our energy to the powers of hells army sending our energy directly towards visualization of fathers two sigils giveing our life force chi energy powerfully put of to father so I know our souls are still attached in many way does this make it easier to simply attract program her aura spirit aspects and being by simply affirmation that the person is uncontrollably and irresistibly in love and drawn attracted to me that she shall want to be together back with me and we shall restore our relationship and intimate love together once again ... Any thoughts input at all? Regarding love spell please anything anyone incite regarding the matter please help thank you for your time, I could move on but I'm a sucker for love my greatest vulnerability it kills me cause I allow love so much her I do and all to say the least please any help concerning regards??,,, much love my fellow ss brothers sisters forever hail hells army hail the shining ones destruction and death to our enemies curse theirs souls relentlessly !!!!! Bless all u n bless yours always in all ways good spirits always thank you
