Any advice on self-awareness?

[SigTyr]

My biggest motivation to meditate is to return my self-awereness, to feel like I am alive.
After good void mediation it's all good, but I am easily distracted. This leads to daydreaming to the point that I not "here and now".
It's much better then it was thanks to jewish soul shattering ritual, I was able to remove the curse which turned that day dreaming into loop of insanity.

Apart from void meditation, is there any working or good affirmation that might help to keep the awaken state longer?
If I keep my focus an a penal gland and my back straight then everything is fine.
It is strange for me that I need focus to feel nornal, the way it was in childhood..

Another very important thing for me: (for some reason I always forget to write)
I've noticed that when energy is rising up and hits the throat chakra I have very intense distractions
It appears that I am afraid of white golden energy, I don't fully let it in, like there is a block between heart and throat.

I believe that in a childhood, maybe during baptism I was scared the shit out if fake golden light and since then it prevents me from relaxing fully physically.
I remember all the doctors and physiotherapist would try to make relax but it didn't work. It's around neck and sholders + area is curved. Thing is that my father and all siblings have this tensed curve, seems to be a very old xian curse.

 

[TheAwakening1]

Apart from void meditation, is there any working or good affirmation that might help to keep the awaken state longer?

Another very important thing for me: (for some reason I always forget to write)
I've noticed that when energy is rising up and hits the throat chakra I have very intense distractions

Remember you can use the ISA rune for void, and maybe try colors like silver, red and yellow in your meditation

And about your throat chakra: Remember power meditation will release suppresed emotions and energies of your soul.

If it’s a curse, then it means you could be in the process of breaking free from it. I would recommend you to do the color meditation and see if the color Blue makes you feel uncomfortable.

If it does, then it means there is a energetic blockage that you need to check.

I hope this information helps

 

[SigTyr]

Apart from void meditation, is there any working or good affirmation that might help to keep the awaken state longer?

Another very important thing for me: (for some reason I always forget to write)
I've noticed that when energy is rising up and hits the throat chakra I have very intense distractions

Remember you can use the ISA rune for void, and maybe try colors like silver, red and yellow in your meditation

And about your throat chakra: Remember power meditation will release suppresed emotions and energies of your soul.

If it’s a curse, then it means you could be in the process of breaking free from it. I would recommend you to do the color meditation and see if the color Blue makes you feel uncomfortable.

If it does, then it means there is a energetic blockage that you need to check.

I hope this information helps

Thank you! I am using ISA time to time to stay focused, but didn't think of colors, will definitely try it out!

I think I went through the most of suppressed emotions like a year ago, but there is something left that can only be reached in deeper transe