@Voice. Ref testimony
Wow! I'd like to see all this made into a book and movie. Including your life after dedication! I'm sure there is a way to disguise it all and yet allow the [un-awakened] subconscious to register the Truth.
Btw... I've heard and seen the astral celebrations. For many newly dedicated. The Joy is indescribable!
HS88
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
I was personally in a reletively simmilar situation as you were before I dedicated (been a dedicated Zevism for about 2 and a half years now) so perhaps reading my story and early experiience as an Zevism could give you more insight and make you feel more convinced.
My situation was a little more extreme perhaps than how it was for others before dedicating. I had been meditating for 2 years prior to finding the Joy of Satan, by reading various new age websites and by digging deeper also finding various hindu websites with meditations on them and what not (Being from europe sources were not easy to find).
On some of those websites I learned about void meditation and spiritual healing, I started applying those to myself and then slowly started doing my own thing by following my intuition as the information I found didn't feel right. I had success with this, for teh first few months it greatly improved my wellbeing and my mind had calmed down a lot through void meditation, but this is when stuff started going sideways.
I was being vvisited by various entities. Now I am naturally quite open astrally, so feeling, seeing and speaking to astral entities was something I could do before I dedicated to Satan and worked specifically on my third eye.
Basically those entities were claiming to be friendly, I was given advice by them, sometimes it seemed helpful but mostly it was all vague nonsense that did nothing but confuse me (this I can say in hindsight, as at the time I was totally enthralled by the experience). Slowly after they were getting nefarious, they started hanging around me and draining my energy at night as I slept, which I was unaware of at first.
Now I coonfronted them after a while, when I figured out my energies were being drained. During my sleep I had been having terrible nightmares for weeks (the result of getting your energy drained by negative astral entities) and I hadn't had a proper night sleep for weeks.
They claimed to be demons after I confronted them, as the general belief is that demons are evil being that are out to harm humanity. Now I have never been a christian in my life so I didn't think much of it, my beliefs towards what demons are was mostly from other media sources and video games, where often they are portrayed as beings with immense power but not necessarily all evil, so I wasn't of the belief demons were evil creatures in the same way christianity lies about that.
Things got much worse after this however, some of them stuck around and claimed to be benificial while I kept being attacked by others, the entities who claimed to be benificial kept telling me bad advices, such as to simply ignore the attacks, they would go away if I ignored it, then they claimed they were fighting against those entities for me whenever I was attacked astrally, leaving me by myself pretty much to deal with this stuff of which I had no idea how to fight back or protect myself.
The attacks revolved around filling my mind with emotions that are not my own, such as crippling fear, physically paralysing my body to the point I actually could not move (only with immense effort and willpower was I able to move) physically suffocating me, astrally raping me (yes this can be done by those entities) and draining my energies to the point I nearly lost consciousness. As well as causing me all kinds of misfortune that was inexplicable.
Eecrical appliances would break almost weakly around me, such as lights, which would literally explode with sparks. Things I touched would break in strange ways that didn't make any sense, such as when I sat down on my bed one day the entire bed broke in half (the bed had no prior damage and I'm a slim young man, not overweight in the slightest, also I sat down as I normally would). Or I'd pick up a glass to drink and it would literally shatter in the palm of my hand. I'd walk through the hallway with a broom and the broom would snap upon impact with the doorpost, after which part of it hit me in the face and gave me a nasty cut.
Things like that occured quite regularly, in many cases it didn't make logical sense as to how this could happen like that. It got so bad to the point I was afraid to touch things as I thought they'd just break.
Those entities claimed it was because of me, because I was meditating I'd become dangerous. I didn't believe that of course, but after having this happen so many times and hearing that it was because of my meditations for weeks, on top of the other mentally exaustive stuff I had been going through at the hands of those entities which caused me to be severely sleep deprived most of the time I started to believe it.
Then they shifted their tactics. They were quick to guide me to new age sites that spoke about angel magic. At the time it didn't occur to me this was completely christian in nature as anything with angel stuff like that is of course completely christian, but just as I my perception of demons, my perception of angels came from different kinds of media where I believed that angels were not necessarily connected to xianity and some were assholes while others were benificial. Due to my perception of these things it didn't occur to me that all this stuff was christian in nature.
I started doing that angel magic as those entities adviced me, I was so deperate for anything that could help me remove that influence that I happily tried using that stuff with hope that it could fix these attacks, which those entities convinced me were demonic attacks of course.
Now this is where things became interesting to me. The first few times doing that so called angel magic actually were positive experiences, I'd be filled with positive energy and the attacks would stop for a few days.
However whenever I tried to meditate they'd resume right away, I'd get pestered by attacks immedietly after I tried to meditate. Then I would do that angel magic again to make it go away, and continue to meditate.
After some time the attacks kept happening regardless of doing that angel magic, only if I didn't meditate they would not happen. But I was stubborn, I knew I wanted to meditate as I had read of amazing benefits that came from it, so I kept doing it. When the angel magic didn't seem to help, I said to myself "well it was just nonsense anyways, better stop using it as it's not helping..".
I found a website on the hindu Gods after this, and instead of doing angel magic I started to attempt to invoke those Hindu Gods.
The attacks got much, much worse. I ended up loosing control of my self on multiple occasions, I was urged to kill myself by those entities. Everytime they'd urge me to kill myself they'd fill me with positive energy, to make me feel comfortable with dying. They'd violently assult me at night, to the point my entire body would be shaking, my whole bed would be shaking. I'd feel things inside my brain and see those entities enter my head with their hands, literally giving me the feeling as if something was physically messing with my brain and not being able to do anything about it as another one of those entities would astrally rape me.
Perhaps this sounds unbelievable, and I will say, much of this were most likely illusions injected into my mind, however I percieved those things and physically experienced those things exactly like that. It was honestly very scary for me at the time and I wasn't easily scared.
I started fighting back, by any means. I'd scream out loud to these things, telling them to leave now, to go away or I'd kill them. They would taunt me to try to kill them as I had no idea how to harm them astrally. I'd try to push them away with my willpower, vizualizing a barrier around me that keeps them at bay. This would work, but only for a short time as they'd over power me quickly and leave me completely exausted.
I would get possesed at times, literally I would simply be watching myself from the backseat while some other entity would speak through me and control my body. I was violent when that happened. It would attempt to attack other people, I would use my willpower to try and prevent it from controlling me body and push whatever it was out, which would be a very, very exausting mental battle, after which I would be panting heavily and my body would be so weak I didn't have the stength to stand.
It was a battle just to keep sane, with everything that I experienced daily. However I would eventually become more or less used to it. I managed to get over my fears for those entities and started to enjoy the metal battles, I'd gradually learn ways to fight back. This was after I started meditating on the Hindu Gods. Which through the JoS I know now are actually aliases of the true Gods and Demons.
The attacks never stopped, but I wasn't hurt by it anymore, I was expecting them to happen and I learned how to fight back, but it was still extremely exausting and it took a lot out of me. At one point I stopped caring what would happen to me anymore, I wasn't afraid of those entities anymore, but I neither had the strength to fight back, I simply didn't care anymore. They would incite suicide in me again almost daily, but I didn't care to kill myself even, I was just done, pissed of and tired of it, however I'd never kill myself as this is cowardly, so they couldn't incite me to do this anymore.
Then something else happened. They started janking me out of my body, telling me to let go, that I'd not be tired anymore if I simply let go. So I did one night let go. I felt my bodies breathing slow down, my mind was very calm and relaxed. Everything went dark and everything was completely calm. I didn't ingest any poison or whatever, it was just that my soul started to detach from my body. I stopped caring, I felt that if I'd let go then perhaps everything would be easier. For a while I actually stopped breathing, while laying on my bed, I lost consciousness physically but astrally I remained conscious. There entities were telling me to come to them, they looked friendly and all, welcoming me with open arms to a light. Telling me to go to that light.
For a while I went closer to that light and felt myself slipping away further and further, I didn't feel my physical body at all anymore, but now my astral body started slipping away too. Then I remembered that I didn't want to kill myself, and that letting go is pretty much the same as killing myself.
I saw my body laying in my room, alone and empty. I wanted to go back. Those entities suddenly grasped unto me, janking me further towards the light, I struggled to free myself, but in a fit of anger I mustered my will power and pushed them all away, I said to myself "I never want to die!" And brought myself back to my body. I got up after gasping for air and yelled out loud that I'd never die, I'd never let them take me, I'd fight against them forever untill I got stronger than them, the I'd kill them myself. I was very angry.
That night I was visited by another entity, this being felt much, much more powerful than anything else I'd ever felt before. It asked me if I wanted help in removing those entities from me permanently. I didn't really believe in that entity as I'd been lied to before, but I said "sure" as I thought why not see if it works, I was convinced that I'd just fight back again as I had been doing for the past year and a half if they betrayed me.
The being told me that they'd be gone, with a female voice. She just said "It's done, see you soon".
She left.
Then I fell asleep and had the best nights sleep I had had in 2 years, I slept without any nightmares, without any attacks. The next morning everything was quiet. My mind was quiet, there were no entities, no nothing, I remember I sat down on my bed breathing and sighing with relief as finally for the first time in a year and a half my mind was quiet, this feeling I will never forget again as it was so tranquil and relaxing.
For the next 3 months nothing happened, everything was quiet, no attacks happened. Then I found the JoS, I just sort of stumbled across it on coincidence. When I started reading it I was interested, but due to the experiences I had had before I was biased against demons as those entities had told me they were demons and what not.
I decided to just ask, as the website says that the Gods and Demons are real, that we can talk to them. I had spoken to entities before so I felt I could ask them and if they were real they'd come to answer me. I looked at the list of Gods and decided on a God I would ask, which was Andras, as his discription attracted me. I had read scary stories about supposed attacks people experienced by an entity that called itself Andras, I thought if the Demons aren't evil, then why not call upon him and ask him for advice on this, if he won't attack me as supposedly people in those stories had experienced then I'd feel more convinced.
I was visited by him, but only briefly, he guided me to certain pages on the JoS website and the Exposing christianity website that helped me understand what those entities that had attacked me were. They were angel thoughtforms for the most part.
He told me to dedicate first if I was serious about learning from him, but he answered most of the questions I had which reassured me that I could trust him and the other demons. He told me not to contact him or other Demons before I dedicated as they are very busy and want to see that I am serious about this first before spending more time talking to me. He also reassured me that I'd be protected by Satan after my dedication.
Meeting him was intimidating due to the energy I felt from him at that time, which was so much stronger than any of those other entities I'd felt before, but he left me with a positive feeling, my whole room felt more positive and more energized than before his visit.
This was before I dedicated.
I struggled to dedicate due to a fear of needles and attempted it 2 times before succeeding on the third attempt. On the third attempt I asked Satan if he could give me courage to dedicate and overcome my silly fear of needles so I could get the blood on the paper. I felt a warm pressence around me, a hand supporting my own hand and guiding me. I pricked my finger with help of that hand. I didn't feel any fear, I didn't feel any pain, in fact I felt extremely uplifted and extremely positive during the whole dedication.
After I got the blood on the paper I heard what seemed like thousands of voices celebrate and congratulate me, as if all of Hell (Duat) celebrated my dedication.
I have never experienced any kind of attack like what I had experienced beffore I dedicated again after become a Spiritual Satanist. I was helped by demons on my path a lot, guiding me to articles to read, helping me out with finding good meditations to start with. They were eager to help out a newby. I spend the first few months just reading as much as I could and got into meditation as soon as I dedicated, it was exciting and the meditations were much, much stronger than any that I'd done before.
Now after 2 and a half years, I have so many awesome and positive experiences, as well as many succesful attempts at magic that I could write a testimony at least 3 times longer than this whole thing if I were to tell all of them in detail. Dedicating was by far the best thing I'd ever done.
I understand you are sceptical and maybe this whole story sounds fishy to you, I'd understand that too, but I can say whole heartedly that you'd never regret dedicating to Satan.
I suggest you do what I did and simply ask a Demon to give you a sign to guide you in the right direction, to give answers you were looking for, the answers you need in order to feel convinced.
You might not be as open as I am and was before dedicating, but the Gods/Demons can communicate to you in various ways, through giving signs, coincidences and other things that can reach you.
As you aren't dedicated yet they won't be spending a whole lot of time on you because they are very busy, but they will definitly hear you and guide you to good information that can convince you fully. Just talk to them, or ask Satan.
If you really want this or really want to learn whether this is the truth and not some other disappointing, fake new age cult or other crap and you approach Satan with an open mind, looking out for signs he will definitly answer your doubts as Satan is real and he really makes himself known in a positive way, without forcing himself upon anyone, unlike other new age crap or things like christianity where you either get nothing and are kept guessing forever or some stuff is forced upon you in some way.
Here you don't need to believe, just have an open mind as Satan is real and the Demons are real, they don't require any belief to show themselves to us, you aren't required to give anything except a sincere interest.
Also as you said, we don't scam people by asking them to give us copius amounts of money before we let them know anything. All our websites and information is freely available because we want people to know, you are free to try it out and validate for yourself how real it is.
the only thing required is the Dedication ritual, as without it you aren't under Satan's protection and you can run into the same sort of problems as I experienced when I was meditating before my dedication.
The dedication might be a bit of a threshold or bar, as it was for me due to my old fear of needles (which is now gone due to meditation I should add), but there is really no nefarious purpose to it, neither does it require much except for a tiny bit of blood which you can extract with something like an insulin needle that you can get at a pharmacy, this is the only requirement to fully dedicate yourself to Satan, to show to him that you are serious about this.
Good luck to you and I hope you will find the answer you were looking for, either in my post or somewhere else and manage to dedicate yourself. We'd of course be very happy and glad to have you with us. [/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
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