I have a problem with never finishing what I start. I absolutely love art and have always been passionate about it. I've spent half my life trying to learn, but I always give up when I feel like my drawings aren't good enough. No matter how much I practice, it seems like I don't improve, and seeing that makes me frustrated. Over time, I just let it go until I completely stop. This always happens: I get the urge to learn something new, but eventually, I lose interest or get frustrated. It is not just with art, but with languages, music production, math, etc. How can I fix this?
Hello Brother/Sister.
I've been in your shoes for many, many years in my life. I want to share what I figured out about myself, and maybe you can ask yourself if any of these applies to you.
I've always loved drawing, comics, writing. But when I actually tried to create a comic, it would even take me five months to finish one page. Then, when it comes to writing, I have been on and off from writing for at least a decade. But when I
do sit down to write (or draw) I feel alive, a sparkle in me; it makes me very happy.
My first realization when it came to art was that I was trying my hardest in order to make money out of it. Instead of practicing because I wanted to, I was trying to perfect my art in order to get paid. As a result, each time I would sit down to draw, I would feel a big burden that I "had to do extremely good," otherwise it would be pointless.
Of course, my parents and society's expectations and programming "Why do art if you can't make money out of it?" "No one can make a steady income out of art; don't do it," had also taken a toll on me.
When I stopped having these expectations, I stopped drawing because I realized that although I do love drawing, I don't want to do it as a job. So, I don't care to make it good (or perfect, dear God), and if I feel like drawing, I'll do it whenever I feel like it.
So, it was a combination of trying to do really well, but also of knowing that my end goal was making money out of it. And I didn't truly want that.
My second realization came with making comics and writing. Why it took me soooo long to complete one page... It was because I had extreme low self-confidence. Each time I put my pen/pencil down, I felt like the result would suck, so I kept putting it off and putting off and putting it off... I felt like a failure without even trying - and when I did try, and the result wasn't what I wanted to, then I felt even worse. Instead of
learning from the experience and my mistakes, I just kept affirming that I'm the worst and incapable of doing this thing (or anything in my life).
My third realization happened with writing. I don't know if this can apply to art or music production. Basically, in writing, and in the way that I write (I'm something that's known as a "pantser" - which means that I don't have a clear plan of how my story is going to evolve, but I know of how it begins and the main goal of my protagonist). So, each time I write, it's a new discovery like reading a book! This method has its positive and negative side. The positive is that creativity and inspiration is in a constant flow, while the negative is that I don't know where I'm heading and how things are going to evolve... Will I ever reach an ending? What if I find myself stuck mid-ways?
Well, I
have found myself stuck quite a few times. In the beginning when that happened, I stopped writing... for months and years... I called it a "writer's block," and simply waited for inspiration to come to me. During the last few months, I realized that when that happens (when I hit a dead end in my creative process), I just need to take some steps back and reconsider how things should unfold and change the last paragraphs (or even a chapter) of what I've already written (which means deleting words and scenes). This can be very daunting but necessary since this is the method (pantsing) that works best for me.
These are my experiences and realizations.
On the other hand, if your problem is none of the above, I would suggest that you look at your astrological chart. Maybe you lack Earth or you have an abundant of air/fire zodiac signs that prevent you from being grounded and stable at one project.
I hope this helps.
