I refuse to get into a trance and use self hypnosis on myself in order to fix my trauma or even other means of spirituality to a certain degree. My trauma will maybe get better while I am advancing on the path but I don't want to make a working exclusively for fixing my trauma. My emotions are there for a reason, they are very real and they make me who I am.
No one is depriving you of your emotions. Healing from trauma with hypnosis or other types of magic does not deprive you of emotions, but it prevents you from falling into depression or something worse. Using meditation or magic does not mean that you cannot learn from your emotions or experience them
I know that our ethics in our website are not man-made bullshit like laws of today, that's why I said I know and trying to deeply understand our ethics, live my life by them but to be quite honest this idealistic approach is only reserved to my perfected self in some other universe probably, it doesn't look feasible at all in my current state.
That ethic is simple and achievable for everyone. There is nothing strange about healthy growth and education. You clearly have a lot of work to do...if you want to do it
So, for example, let's say some guy disrespected you in public and even physically hurt you but you couldn't do anything because they were bigger in number or he was simply intimidating. What are you going to do? Get into trance and brainwash yourself to believe that this event isn't affecting you? You will feel emasculated and its only going to be resolved when you get your revenge. Not that I am telling one to be mindlessly attack someone and to go to prison, since we got laws today. But let's disregard any of these man made things, what would totally resolve the unease you feel from this situation? It's to get revenge.
I think you've misunderstood everything. Maybe you don't know English very well, but the site is translated into many other languages.
Meditation leads you to act sensibly, which doesn't mean you can't take revenge, but as you say yourself, avoid ending up in prison.
Is it better to punch someone, which would be momentary pain, or to torment them all the time with a thoughtform created and directed by you them ? This is just an example, but you have misunderstood the use of meditation and magic.
My trauma is that I always felt belittled because I was skinny all my life up until recently. When I was 18, I weighed barely a hundred pounds, AS A MAN, just try to think about that for a second please. It was so brutal and I don't want to remind myself as I am already very emotionally distressed right now, it will only going to make it worse if I delve into it.
If you don't like yourself, instead of spouting nonsense about meditation, start working on yourself. Go to a nutritionist to get a diet that will help you gain weight in a healthy way, and go to the gym to increase your muscle mass
And intelligence doesn't mean anything when you can't function because of anxiety and body dysmorphia. So why am I still mentally feeling the same?
because your mind is full of negative energy. But guess what? Meditation can help you. You can purify your body, start working on your chakras, and practice High Priestess Lydia's self-love meditation
I started getting attention for the first time in my life and getting treated like a normal human being. So I just gained body weight and suddenly I am a proper human now. Only difference was that I had more body mass!! Such an important achievement!!!!!! What makes one a worthy human being is just more body weight. I was a andrapod (and clearly treated as such, I am not exaggerating.) and I regained my humanity by adding mere body weight. Very cool and fulfilling to the core.
I'm glad you feel good about yourself now (?) but you should know that it's not a normal thought, or rather, a meaningful one.
Maybe my only option is finding someone online and liking them without both of us knowing what each other looks like.
this is not love. (This is my opinion)
The next day these emotions started rushing over my head, I ruined my sleep schedule because of this, couldn't eat healthy for the next three days and had to order goyslop because I had no energy to prepare anything and only ate once a day for three days which made me even more mentally unstable. I even texted one of the girls that I used to talk to and we argued over who was right and wrong. I started acting on my impulses mindlessly.
Meditation is never easy for anyone in the early days. The beauty lies in being patient.
In the early days, we were all overwhelmed by negative energies that tormented us, but we are children of Zeus, we are much stronger than we seem, and we can fight anything. You are a victim of an andrapod world, so it's normal that you have to get used to a new (healthier) lifestyle.
I am tired of this constant struggle within myself. I want to be a man and do bad things and also take pleasure while doing so, but I have this 'higher' self within myself that constantly bugs my head. But why am I supposed to listen to it? I don't. But it's always there. I am tired. This ambivalence makes me unable to commit to either of them. This is inertia? I don't know anymore. I don't want to learn anymore. I just want my brain to stop and have some inner calm.
You won't do it, I warn you. Because what you want to be is not the real you. You need to heal. Always listen to your higher self. Trust me, you will find yourself on a wonderful path to follow. And then there's us, your siblings. We're here to give you a hand.
