I can't sleep anymore I can't do jack shit , before I used to cut myself but this time I was thinking to cut some more .
I see many red flags in your words.
It is highly possible you suffered trauma and abuse in your childhood, simply because self-hate and self-harm are the consequence of being abused at a point that the victim's mind starts to blame the victim (you) and feeds guilt and resentment. In short you want to harm yourself because your mind thinks, you are the cause of the bad things happening to you. I talk by direct experience here.
This is not true! You are NOT responsible and it is NOT your fault if you have been beaten, emotionally or physically abused, ridiculed or verbally beaten. Nothing of this is to be charged to you; if you were in e legal trial the offender would be put in jail, NOT you!
You are putting in jail yourself, instead, by harming yourself.
Let me say every time I listen to this happening to a fellow Brother/Sister on here, I feel sad and empathic. So pleasemaccept my sorrow, for a second.
Hating women means you also hate your female side, your unconscious, your intuitive side. It is typical of xianity, and leads to spiritual sleep as people become right-brained only by using only the male side of the mind. Look at islam too.
I had difficulties in appreciating children, and I was very far and detached from them in a way. This happened because I felt hate for myself as a child; healing this, i finally started to see the magnificent beauty and innocence of kids, in general.
I think what happens to you is generated by abuse, deep traumas from this life and/or previous lives.
What lead me to healing (still in progress) is 1. asking guidance to my GD for path of healing, that happened (long) 2. acknowledging my traumas and resolving them at the emotional, mental and conscious level, with the help of the Gods, meditations, life experiences tuned on healing, and a good therapist if you can afford.