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#76 Where i should start from ?

If you are in such a hostile environment, meditation should be the last thing on your mind. If you are starving, you should look for food, not sit down to read a book or exercise to get stronger. I imagine others might reply, "do this binding spell" or whatever else, but all that requires power and experience that you do not have. I would advise you to concentrate on improving your life circumstances in any way you can. Under 18, no matter what you do, you aren't free.
 
Indeed. Spiritual development in general is the last priority after every need is taken care of. If by any off chance you have a moment for yourself and you can be sure that you have sufficient privacy, please start by reading the contents of joysatan.org website. Other than that, be careful!
 

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