Issues with learning addiction, photographic memory, and maintaining human relationships

[sinbad]

Should ISA be used at this point? Or something else?

Void meditation and pointed-focus has helped narrow my interests down a bit, but the tendency and desire is still there.

But also, in a way, it kinda made things worse. My mind has become even more obsessive, just chanelled a bit more productively at least.

For example, I am interested in coding > ok, so make app > big money > donate to ToZ... there is a pragmatic end goal.

The negative is I have mentally lost all interest in everything besides knowledge/skill acquisition and don't feel like making time for friends/family/relationships/pets and turning into a complete recluse avoidant of biological interactions.

Like I still enjoy interacting with people, but I don't want to get close to anyone because they always start being demanding of my time and become f***ing irritatingly clingy.

I see no value interacting with someone unless I can extract/knowledge from them or form a business partnership, but I seem to be condemned to a life of interacting with midwits or something, which living in the "hood" hasn't helped.

I like to dissappear for 6+ months and do my own thing, so I am starting to wonder if I am just incompatible with the concept of human relationships.

So the main question here is, can I avoid the dodgy effects of celibacy if I just masturbate?

My Mars/Venus are in a position which seems to make it okay to just obsessively focus on the Gods and abandon close relationships, but I want to make sure.

Hitler was apparently celibate for a very long time until he met Eva Braun despite his 7th/Venusian emphasis and he seemed fine, although, I suspect he may have deliberately cultivated that image of himself.

The positive effect of void/pf has been that I've started to regain my photographic memory, but now everything is more traumatic.

Every little bad memory or event becomes unforgettable and difficult to let go. They become visceral and sensory, and the moment repeats itself.

I initially got in the habit of doing void meditation and erasing my thoughts/memories as they enter to deal with the daily bullshit of brain cancer inflicted upon me, but then it got to the point I started to consistently forget thoughts from literally just 5 seconds ago... so clearly that was the wrong strategy as well, of which I have lost huge swaths of knowledge because of how this habit atrophied my memory storage.

Am I just cooked...?

 

[Antireligioso]

If you have used substances, even just psychotropic drugs, on a constant and continuous basis, they can cause brain damage of this type, goldfish memory but also with loss of affectivity and passions... but it is not always due to substances or psychic attacks... it could also be some neurodegenerative disease in which you can no longer remember what you think in a few seconds. There is little to compare with famous historical people, they did not have romantic social relationships because they were full of curses and negative Christian influences. Especially if they are so famous, they were also the most affected by Jewish curses, for example, which are on all Satanists just because they are on the side of Ea. You understand that even average people can become mines, for souls affected by the reptilian enemy. Loneliness is quite normal, because no one can stand up to the level of Satanist meditators. This means that if the adept doesn't protect himself well, disasters can arise with average people. For example, during the Middle Ages, these people were hunted (by the Inquisition and tortured and killed). Even if witches, for example, were isolated on the paths, Catholic monsters would go there to torture and kill. There weren't always warriors to protect these people, or they didn't even arrive in time to protect them; there were no cars.
By this, I meant that you should try to build an aura of protection or meditate more and do the final RTR, or even have a neurological examination if you don't remember less than the goldfish

 

[sinbad]

...

In terms of loneliness, I'm going to focus my attention on befriending the Gods instead, but I will try once more when I go to University.

However, I don't think human connections of this shitty era will satisfy me outside of intelligent Zevist souls, so maybe in another 10 years.

Also yeah, I did probably give myself minor brain damage but I've removed the issue which tanked 95% of my potential.

My brain feels powerful again and my magick also got 10x'd after some shifts. It felt in comparison as if I had never meditated in my life, lol.

And yeah, I am probably heavily cursed, but I can also tell I am protected from it all. So I don't fear anything.

Very often I go outside, some random black tries to pick a fight with me simply for existing. But they get neutered and I can see their aggression dissolve instantly, I don't have to do anything but stand there and wait.

 

[sinbad]

...

But do you think it's necessary to form romantic relationships/friendships?

 

[Wotanwarrior]

I still enjoy interacting with people, but I don't want to get close to anyone because they always start being demanding of my time and become f***ing irritatingly clingy.

Some people are naturally more solitary, and this can be seen in the planetary positions in one's birth chart.

I've always felt the same way; I find it incredibly boring to try to establish deep connections with non-spiritual people and outsiders. For me, a suitable profession would be one that isn't public-facing, where I only have to interact with a few people daily, and I can dedicate the rest of my time to my spiritual development, my work for ToZ, and my private life.
And when you get older, after 40 it's the opposite; you feel even more inclined to focus on your private life and less on socializing.

 

[sinbad]

...

After 40, what changes? Does your relationship to the world differ in some way?

I think being solitary is preferrable, but it's also good to develop the skill to be able to lead/command others and navigate people.

But for me, it's more so I hate this era of humans and their brainlessness and lack of sensitivity to beauty.

If everyone were high IQ spiritualists then socialising and having intellectual discussions would be Heaven on Earth.

 

[Epiphany]

Some people are naturally more solitary, and this can be seen in the planetary positions in one's birth chart.

I've always felt the same way; I find it incredibly boring to try to establish deep connections with non-spiritual people and outsiders. For me, a suitable profession would be one that isn't public-facing, where I only have to interact with a few people daily, and I can dedicate the rest of my time to my spiritual development, my work for ToZ, and my private life.
And when you get older, after 40 it's the opposite; you feel even more inclined to focus on your private life and less on socializing.

After 40, what changes? Does your relationship to the world differ in some way?

I think being solitary is preferrable, but it's also good to develop the skill to be able to lead/command others and navigate people.

But for me, it's more so I hate this era of humans and their brainlessness and lack of sensitivity to beauty.

If everyone were high IQ spiritualists then socialising and having intellectual discussions would be Heaven on Earth.

I can see why people feel this way, but personally, I find alot of satisfaction in getting to know people on a deeper level. You get to see the heart of them. You can experience the same gift of conscience and spirit that you were given through them. It takes effort, it won't be just given to you. People don't feel safe being authentic, and they may not know or remember how, and granted, not everybody is somebody that you want to know, but the sense of loneliness & solitude goes away with meaningful connection. It's a privilege when somebody bears their heart to you.

More people than you think have a desire for meaningful and deep connection. The hard part is breaking through the surface. Sometimes it requires overcoming your own self and setting the ego aside, remembering that you don't know or experience everything and others have their own inner worlds too.

 

[Epiphany]

I can see why people feel this way, but personally, I find alot of satisfaction in getting to know people on a deeper level. You get to see the heart of them. You can experience the same gift of conscience and spirit that you were given through them. It takes effort, it won't be just given to you. People don't feel safe being authentic, and they may not know or remember how, and granted, not everybody is somebody that you want to know, but the sense of loneliness & solitude goes away with meaningful connection. It's a privilege when somebody bears their heart to you.

More people than you think have a desire for meaningful and deep connection. The hard part is breaking through the surface. Sometimes it requires overcoming your own self and setting the ego aside, remembering that you don't know or experience everything and others have their own inner worlds too.

Also, surface level conversation can't be discarded entirely, it's part of being human. It's a low risk and easy way to build and maintain connection. You can't have one without the other, it's a duality.

 

[Antireligioso]

But do you think it's necessary to form romantic relationships/friendships?

It depends on one's soul, it's not always true that one has "need", then if one goes through several past lives it may be that in a last one one isolates oneself more like monks and these people, because they feel bad, in this era many others are toxic for one's neuropsychological balance, for example they are too communist who would like to make everyone the same and make you equal to them

 

[Wotanwarrior]

Also, surface level conversation can't be discarded entirely, it's part of being human. It's a low risk and easy way to build and maintain connection. You can't have one without the other, it's a duality.

Having ability to converse is very important for navigating your environment and, for example, having good relationships with your coworkers or the people around you. What I find boring is trying to establish deep connections with them, especially if I only like to socialize for 3 or 4 hours and dedicate the rest of the day to my own things, while they like to socialize all day and they try to involve you.

 

[sinbad]

...

I'm actually interested in people as well, but "people" nowadays are closer to animals than humans so I prefer to read about Historical figures.

I've spent a lot of time befriending the weirdos, freaks, and trannies of society.

They're all boringly predictable or ugly in comparison to the heroics, bravery, and poetic lives from antiquity.

...

I agree, my social battery is pretty low, and it tanks completely if I have to interact with these people and pretend to be interested.

I'm just going to make it known IDGAF and see what happens.

Maybe it will attract people on my wavelength more easily.

 

[Wotanwarrior]

I agree, my social battery is pretty low, and it tanks completely if I have to interact with these people and pretend to be interested.

Especially when they try to involve me in activities that I don't even like and that don't interest me in the slightest, like going out partying or going to bars.

 

[sinbad]

Especially when they try to involve me in activities that I don't even like and that don't interest me in the slightest, like going out partying or going to bars.

It's such a complete waste of time. I don't see the appeal at all.

 

[Edward Lonsa]

I'm actually interested in people as well, but "people" nowadays are closer to animals than humans so I prefer to read about Historical figures.

I've spent a lot of time befriending the weirdos, freaks, and trannies of society.

They're all boringly predictable or ugly in comparison to the heroics, bravery, and poetic lives from antiquity.


I agree, my social battery is pretty low, and it tanks completely if I have to interact with these people and pretend to be interested.

I'm just going to make it known IDGAF and see what happens.

Maybe it will attract people on my wavelength more easily.

Greetings, Brother!

You always are able to 100% dedicate your life to your art / science if you have a specific nature for this. Example is Galileo. As far as affordable rectification goes, he had 8th house stellium and concentrated on science. Some people are designed for this specifically, their art or science being for them their first and foremost dedication and devotion. I saw such people with prominent Pluto / 8th / Scorpio. Geniuses dedicated to creation / invention. These water houses are very good for whole life affair dedication because they give staying power that is usually needed for such. We do not know house system of a lot of them, such as Da Vinci or Tesla, but we still can see their signs. Tesla had water sign stellium as an apex of T-square which is a story for another book in itself. Those geniuses whose house system I knew and who had prominent water houses, this worked for them partly as an analogue of a T-square in a sense of concentrating all their powers on work.

There also were tragic stories when some of these geniuses strayed from their life mission into the wrong misplaced relationship, which ended up with complete ruin and destruction of untold proportions. Because these souls come here for realization of their gifts in the most, and for them the destruction of their destiny in this ugly way like wasting it on andrapodeas is far wider evil than these andrapodas betraying them in the end (which andrapodas do anyway). Not all people are the same. HP said Tesla was a God. He could not afford wasting time on filth. His time decided the planetary fates.

Just because some lifestyles work for some people does not mean we all are the same and that we need to go force ourselves into unwanted lifestyle with unwanted people just because some people consider it to be a "standard". We have to use our brain that was given to us by Gods.

And yes, for some of us it is much easier to find relative soul in another epoch and to befriend a hero or a genius via white magic and soul linking rather than trying to follow the clown world rules forcing ourselves into unwanted places that fill us with sickness and vomit. Another part of this is that these geniuses might reincarnated and also trying to find a relative soul in the Mordor full of orcs.

There are movies telling about relative souls finding each other first on the astral and then - in reality. We might find our friends in the fairer epochs' legacy - via their books, writings, achievements, that give us purpose - then create soul link via white magic (NOT love spells or egocentric magic! White one: Chakra cleansing and related grand karmic help) and find them in this or other world via this link (white magic like heroic saving the soul cleansing it on many lifetimes' layers creates extremely powerful soul link). You can ask Gods to show you the path to them in dreams or elsewhere (long hard working with dreams or other method is demanded). We also might work with white magic to lead them to ToZ. If followed by success the Pythagorean soul link will be VERY close and powerful even if people never meet.

 

[sinbad]

...

Why do the water houses give staying power and being conducive to such dedication? Is it the receptive/absorbtion factor of water element?

With regards to relationships with andrapoda, I believe it is correct for me to abandon also, except of business/political relations.

Friends, family, relationships of this modern era would all distract from my goals and not even being worth it.

I've learnt the lessons I've needed to about these things, and I am on good terms with the above, but it feels to me a waste of time to continue "watering the plants" beyond the occasional get-together.

But I am worried about the backlash as many have said it can turn you into a pervert?

Personally, I think it lights my soul on fire and energises me to focus obsessively on ONE thing, and I have decided it to be the "umbrella" interests of the Gods.

Otherwise it will go to waste on some andrapoda.

I have tried for 8 years, but none of them are ever worthy beyond surface level amicability - at most I am "tolerant".

They are not all stupid, but usually two-dimensional in their thinking due to lack of integration of the right hemisphere and I've even met those with ~150 IQ who have this problem, it is draining to interact with.

Also is Tesla's time on astroseek not correct? It seems to add up, but Da Vinci's does seem off.

And do you remember where HP said Tesla was a God?

T-square stuff:

Outer planets in 4th at apex of several T-squares will help with work since it is in opposition to 10th? But 4th seems like a place of stagnation or retreat as well, so I guess it depends on native.

I think in Aquarius it is a place of someone to avoid normal human contacts in favour of higher sublimation?

But I am wondering if they will feel fulfilled doing so, because maybe, since 4th rules the emotional state to an extent.

As you say elsewhere it is indicative of one's past soul, so it seems an interesting dynamic integration of one's past talents/abilities too.

Due to past lives I have basically mastered every major subject and skill, but it is now about regaining my abilities.

But because of how "spread thin" I am it is actually difficult since my brain wants to study 20 different topics at once to quickly return to its previous position, but this produces mediocrity if I don't prioritise one at a time.

Which makes it difficult to dedicate myself to one thing let alone all of them if I have to waste time on random interpersonal commitments.

The Gods, old philosophers, artists, poets, and great one's of History are fulfilling enough as companions for me.

My end goal is to funnel everything into civilisation building... can you provide any information on how to properly channel my sexual energy into this goal in a healthy way instead of the disgusting version? I liked the comment you wrote about this on the other thread, if you could expand.

I appreciate your time/effort.

 

[Edward Lonsa]

Greetings!

T-squares with the apex in water houses are omnipotent if the apex is a gravitational point such as stellium or Pluto. Saturn or critical degree would also work but might need extreme karmic purification that for most comes with extreme work. Yes, water is a bottomless ocean of staying power ability and can provide bottomless loyalty and dedication if worked upon. This might be sublimated into deep concentration thus Scorpio's power of concentration. 12h might be a bit harder to use it in every day concentration in the modern sense. This house is mostly for spirituality and its specific type of concentration is that on the unworld. 4th might give non-stop growing expanding amplitude of emotions that goes through lifetimes to eternity, with trauma it can give infinite depth of trauma that pulls the one in, it has an ability of literally infinity of emotional experience of all kinds so if this gets consciously used in black magic it might create personal Tartar for yourself or for others - at the will of the magician. This is where second death might be the only escape. This is why it is called the Nadir - the Bottom. It can eat the soul. 8th is a powerhouse. It is near Serpent Bearer 13th Zodiac sign and represents the powers of the Serpent. 8th can give absolute infinite powers. Hitler's Pluto+Neptune conjunction in 8th demonstrates it in full power and in higher octave. Water houses also might give infinite suffering through which these powers are usually given. If you master your energy of infinite sufferings you might use them as your poison so to say to cause them to others or to heal others from them.

Water is depth. It gives any experience its depth, it gives sufferings their depth through connecting them to emotions. The depth keeps and can pull in. This is a greatest possibility for a staying power. Greatest sufferings might be used for greatest staying power such as lifelong or lifetimes long revenge (for example if yogi remembers his past lives and proceeds to torture a monster he caught in one of them, but with current siddhi he can find it in any corner of the world again). It also might give eternal love commitments with Gods when people keep and reinforce their vows of loyalty from lifetime to lifetime.

As for "andrapodas" not everyone in this world is an andrapoda, HPHC is not, Gods are not. There are sermons about other worlds and other beings, you can have commitments with different beings, but you have to watch your own side. Are YOU loyal to eternity? Did YOU give them yourself pure after many lifetimes of humblest and hardest work for them? Did YOU earn their hand like a hero should have done? These are the questions I always ask myself.

 

[sinbad]

...

Sorry, my notifications must be broken, I did not see your message.

I used to see 4th as a boring/mundane house but your writings on it have changed my perspective.

I realise it is actually a house of utmost and total mystery, much like the other water houses, but simply one that needs to be mined to its core.

With what you said about revenge, I am pretty sure I do not need to be here anymore, but I ask to be here in order to help with the Jews and humanity and a commitment to exhalting my race.

I've accomplished every other goal I've had in my previous lifetimes, and so there is a certain complacency about work, but this one thing is like a shit stain on my soul which I have yet to be able to clean and I am totally belligerent about it.

I can feel the pain on my soul from having failed already since "they" are still here. But I have always been loyal to the Gods. Whatever was needed, I always did what was necessary regardless of what or who I had to sacrifice.

Curiously, about andrapoda, I have just met a guy who I became friends with that has Uranus/Neptune Aquarius 3rd and Mercury Scorpio 12th of which the conversations have been quite interesting to say the least.

Maybe people are not perfect, but I have to learn tolerance it seems, which I am starting to do, but I feel like I am used to being surrounded by perfection on the soul level and I miss it and crave it.

This ugly world triggers my OCD and makes me want to conquer it so I can fix it, but really, I just want to bathe in art and beauty and knowledge.

If Neptune + Uranus in Aquarius were at the respective apexes of the native's T-squares is scientific/occult advancement of humanity a proper channel for this energy? For example, manifesting the technologies of the Gods on Earth, since it deals with 4th (past) and Aquarius (futuristic tech).

 

[Edward Lonsa]

If Neptune + Uranus in Aquarius were at the respective apexes of the native's T-squares is scientific/occult advancement of humanity a proper channel for this energy? For example, manifesting the technologies of the Gods on Earth, since it deals with 4th (past) and Aquarius (futuristic tech).

In my opinion, absolutely. Moreover, I think this interesting planetary scheme might be used to hack time itself and find where Past is connected to the far Future to navigate through the infinity point, I mean time travel - the topic IC-MC axis I think is connected to as well being an Axis of Destiny/Fate or an Axis of Saturn it is an Axis of Time as well that might be conquered, if you succeed to build such a tech. Moreover I think our own astrology might be used for this as well and melted with it as a part of this tech or like a form of aetherial fuel for it or something like that. Your chart begins to be your own sigil so to say when you totally use it at its power / talent aspect and in highest octave. Like a Yantra, so to say.

T-square is one of the most potentially powerful configurations for self-realization if not the most. With fully realized apex you might make major impact into civilization.

With what you said about revenge, I am pretty sure I do not need to be here anymore, but I ask to be here in order to help with the Jews and humanity and a commitment to exhalting my race.

I've accomplished every other goal I've had in my previous lifetimes, and so there is a certain complacency about work, but this one thing is like a shit stain on my soul which I have yet to be able to clean and I am totally belligerent about it.

I can feel the pain on my soul from having failed already since "they" are still here.

HPS Maxine mentioned it about Cancer that these people have talents to become greatest enemies. I think this is further strengthened with the link of 4th-8th or Cancer-Scorpio or Moon-Pluto topics. But with Saturn and/or several higher planets in 4th this also might be the case, especially in critical degree. People with strong 4th / Cancer / Moon emphasis (stellium, critical degree, fixed star, Saturn, Pluto - as an apex of the configuration) might have great talents at placing others into lakes of fire due to extreme inborn sensitivity to injustice and/or their soul has seen or gone through extreme injustice, usually very lasting (including thousands of years, tens of thousands of years or more), internalizing and accumulating it in themselves, which if done consciously, might create a poisonous internal sting of unnormous proportions. If these are Gods, they might constitute extreme danger to the magicians of the enemy.

I used to see 4th as a boring/mundane house but your writings on it have changed my perspective.

There are no such things as mundane houses. Most so called "mundane" house, 6th, is about thoroughness in healing, investigation, meditation, yoga and everything, it is about real dedication to something instead of empty words. Earth signs and houses that are interpreted by mainstream kikes as "mundane" are related to common sense and understanding reality of how etherial godly things are made real and accomplished in this world. This is how Hitler used his prominent Earth element in the higher octave.

There are high octaves to everything: houses, signs, planets, axis, stars, elements and of course degrees.

Kikes promoted a lie that our lives are about eating shitting and procreating like that of cockroaches because they very well understand that this way of life is poisonous and detrimental to Gentile soul and civilization and is the best way to mutilate it like they mutilated the grey planet. That's why mainstream kikes all over the world took astrology and related fields into their hands. They themselves know the truth but they lie to Gentiles and fill internet with their lies, pushing such things as 4th - only about parents, 5th - only about procreation etc., 6th - only about some mundane way to get shekels. Yes - for lower animals like them. In reality, 4th is about universal Past and all spiritual legacy of the universe including all planets and all worlds in all dimensions not only our one (but tell me what jew wants you to know that you had a Past, let alone a spiritual one?). 5th is about creativity, performative arts and work, performance and scene as a way to better understand and influence the world, 6th is about healing on all levels and pure dedication and perfectionism in any field. 6th and 10th are most universal in the sense of the field because they are more about dedication itself.

4th also has death realm relation, and everything that is afterlife and beyond-life. Which is mentioned by Plutarch in regards to its symbolical ruler the Moon. I recommend you his Moon dialogue in this regard. Notable that it also deals with cosmos.

 

[sinbad]

In my opinion, absolutely. Moreover, I think this interesting planetary scheme might be used to hack time itself and find where Past is connected to the far Future to navigate through the infinity point, I mean time travel - the topic IC-MC axis I think is connected to as well being an Axis of Destiny/Fate or an Axis of Saturn it is an Axis of Time as well that might be conquered, if you succeed to build such a tech.

What you say about time travel is very interesting. I've always had a strange relationship to time myself, although to my understanding it is not possible in the literal sense, however, I think I know one of the potential inventions which this logic may apply to.

Maybe excavating the ancient civilisations of the past to re-create a cityscape and architecture and citizens/language/dress/textures etc., to eventually create a real life "holodeck". Then others can experience the glory of their ancient past and roots and perhaps take inspiration from this of what those motherfuckers stole from us. And to rebuild it. With telepathic communication with the Gods to reobtain the parts archaeology may not reveal totally.

It would also serve other practical needs such as training astronauts for conditions on other planets or military etc., which is a superior version of this idea. And I think it is the more useful manifestation of Neptunian fantasy illusions energy as well combined with Uranus.

And other Neptunian devices, such as one that allows you to record dreams/memories for analysis... can maybe help people with alzheimers or something although, there is perhaps a lot of ethical concerns. But again it relates to time.

And I wonder if something like an x-ray device to look at the aura and prescribe corrective procedures. Like holes in the aura etc., or even interact with the aura/chakras through electromagnetism... or if this would not be a good idea spiritually speaking. Maybe it could help some people like comatose or down syndrome people so their next life is less fucked and so they don't dissipate. Since they can't meditate. And their bad karma. But this could be useful for something like a TCM doctor.

I think it will all have to be used in conjunction with authentic spiritual remedies not mere mechanical bullshit... many of ideas will probably go redundant in an advanced civilisation though. I wonder how feasible teleportation or eugenics technology would be though.

What did you have in mind in terms of time devices? Infinity points etc., inventions. And what other inventions used to exist or on the God's planets? I am very curious about what you said elsewhere regarding flying cities.

Moreover I think our own astrology might be used for this as well and melted with it as a part of this tech or like a form of aetherial fuel for it or something like that. Your chart begins to be your own sigil so to say when you totally use it at its power / talent aspect and in highest octave. Like a Yantra, so to say.

I think what you mentioned about 4th house Gods revenge was definitely visible in some of our SS like Goebbels especially in Scorpio. It's a fascinating area to investigate definitely.

There are no such things as mundane houses...

I am curious what you mean by aetherial fuel/yantra/sigil. I don't know, but when I look at natal charts I feel an electrical current going through the aspect lines.

How would our astrology connect with these technologies?

Yes they are so annoying, it's like they turned the Library of Alexandria into a public toilet of how they desecrated the full potential of what the internet could've turned into. It's still useful but y'know.

I realised 5th is also about creativity creations of all kinds, like scientific inventions. Not just art etc., but for example Elon Musk has Neptune and Jupiter here. And 2nd house is not just money grubbers and what their Kikestrologists says but mathematical/scientific such as Isaac Newton or even artistic as many artists have planets here. And can turn into something poetic/sublime in the right hands. I have Earth emphasis myself but I am complete opposite of a materialist. In my case it is more about building things, spiritual structures, temples, centres of learning about the occult etc., and I can use it to hold high amounts of energy instead of random materialism, or even art, philanthropy etc., it is useless to hoard for myself but I like to give it out. And share my treasures. Whether that is literal or not.