How can I overcome my own brain?

[Sacred Zucchini]

Greetings, fellow travelers. I need advice or a perspective from those who have gone through the process of breaking down their old personality and rebuilding their Will.

But I've encountered a serious opponent within myself. I grew up in a difficult family system: my grandmother was a classic domestic tyrant-vampire, and my mother was a perpetual victim without any will of her own. From childhood, I was "trained" to be their food, to serve their emotions, and to endure humiliation. I absorbed this program of a slave and victim at a subconscious level.

I physically escaped them to another continent, but mentally this rot is still within me. I've discovered that I have a masochistic mindset. My inner "Beast" demands pain and filth.

Relationships: I'm drawn to female vampires who see me only as a resource and food. I've realized that I like being devoured. Normal, constructive relationships seem bland; my Spirit sleeps, and my "body" demands drama.

Self-sabotage: As soon as I reach high vibrations (routine, practices, purity), the self-destructive program kicks in. An inner voice whispers, "You are not worthy of strength, return to the dirt." Recently, I relapsed into smoking after a long break simply to feel guilt and punish myself.

I understand that this is a test of the Spirit. I understand that I must kill this "Victim" within myself and sever the ties that bind me to the ancestral program of weakness. But the withdrawal is terrible. When I don't feed my demons with pain, a dead silence descends, and I feel a sense of total loneliness. It seems that in the "pure" world, I'm not needed by anyone, because I've forgotten how to be anything other than "food."

Question for practitioners: How did you cope with similar setbacks? How did you fill the void when you gave up suffering as a source of energy? How to reshape consciousness to stop attracting parasites and start seeing yourself as a Warrior, not a victim?

I would be grateful for practical advice, perhaps some consciousness cleansing techniques or practices for strengthening willpower that have helped you.

 

[nema]

Greetings, fellow travelers. I need advice or a perspective from those who have gone through the process of breaking down their old personality and rebuilding their Will.

But I've encountered a serious opponent within myself. I grew up in a difficult family system: my grandmother was a classic domestic tyrant-vampire, and my mother was a perpetual victim without any will of her own. From childhood, I was "trained" to be their food, to serve their emotions, and to endure humiliation. I absorbed this program of a slave and victim at a subconscious level.

I physically escaped them to another continent, but mentally this rot is still within me. I've discovered that I have a masochistic mindset. My inner "Beast" demands pain and filth.

Relationships: I'm drawn to female vampires who see me only as a resource and food. I've realized that I like being devoured. Normal, constructive relationships seem bland; my Spirit sleeps, and my "body" demands drama.

Self-sabotage: As soon as I reach high vibrations (routine, practices, purity), the self-destructive program kicks in. An inner voice whispers, "You are not worthy of strength, return to the dirt." Recently, I relapsed into smoking after a long break simply to feel guilt and punish myself.

I understand that this is a test of the Spirit. I understand that I must kill this "Victim" within myself and sever the ties that bind me to the ancestral program of weakness. But the withdrawal is terrible. When I don't feed my demons with pain, a dead silence descends, and I feel a sense of total loneliness. It seems that in the "pure" world, I'm not needed by anyone, because I've forgotten how to be anything other than "food."

Question for practitioners: How did you cope with similar setbacks? How did you fill the void when you gave up suffering as a source of energy? How to reshape consciousness to stop attracting parasites and start seeing yourself as a Warrior, not a victim?

I would be grateful for practical advice, perhaps some consciousness cleansing techniques or practices for strengthening willpower that have helped you.

I understand your situation, my family was like that too. The mind is a complex thing to understand fully but this is what i did understand: your brain wants to protect your ideas, even if they are wrong, even if they are not even really yours. When your parents teach you to be less than them, because they are weak and they are scared of you outgrowing them, you will tend to let them win even later in life, even when they are not around or phisically close to you. Using Ansuz and Munka helped me a LOT.
Try this:
Vibrate Ansuz x7 on the first chakra and state " my first chakra is now completely free from any external influences and energy vampires".
Than repeat on each chakra.
You should feel better..

 

[Kouros Aionios]

Don't get me wrong, but I think my problem is caused by emotional and physical abuse that has developed into sexual masochism, and this masochism has become a disease that is devouring my life. (I only recently realized this.) There is nothing good or beneficial about this. People sense my weakness and my desire to be used, and they use me. It's terrible. I need to deal with this problem through hypnosis and meditation. If you have anything to add, please do.

This is a very deep topic. Of course, clean your aura and soul, and do Aura of Protection every day. Do the Freeing of the Soul workings with the affirmation designed specifically get rid of this sexual dysfunction. As with any disease, there have to be preventative measures, so you do not develop it further. Try to avoid the triggers and behaviors that you associate with this.

 

[Lucius Invictus [NG]]

A lot of members have shared links that they be useful.

I will add in that, through Zevism, your consciousness grows and your quality of being changes. The path is laborious because you're rebelling against nature's limits that are keeping you bound to certain states of consciousness. However, with enough dedication to the Path, what once restricted you disappears, gradually, as you adjust to new checkpoints.

It is not supposed to be easy, but its difficulty makes victory so much more rewarding.