Cro666
New member
Hello brothers and sisters,
I have had quite some trouble meditating and focusing on spiritual Satanism/personal growth.
Some of you might remember me because i was active half a year ago but since then things went downhill, I did manage to do the base meditations every single day, Even tough it was extremely hard at times.
Dont get me wrong i did grow but at a slow pace. I have been wondering why it has been so hard to keep meditating and growing, At first i tought that it was because i have had some mental isseu's (nothing mayor). Ofcourse this makes things harder but how could it affect me this badly? Recently i came to a realisation that i live in a ''Jew Nest'' there are a lot of jews where i live, This became even more obvious when i went out to dinner at xmas and about 40-50% of the ppl there were jewish.
I dont know if it is harder for me to do meditations because of the high amount of jews, Or because i somehow do something wrong when doing meditations that makes me not want to meditate at all. And i know about curses and entity's or even toughtforms that work against me, But i feel like there is something else that works against me. The feeling i get is about the same feeling of not wanting to do something or wanting to do something else but on almost an extreem lvl, if i try to supress this feeling it will become worse and worse (this will go on for months on end) up to a point where it almost feels like im falling in some sort of depression. Thats the best i can describe it even tough its not exactly like that.
I have been cleaning my aura every day and for a while i also did return curses but this seemed to worses things (The feelings would go away only to come back a little bit later hitting me with everything it got). I am not sure if i did other meditations to combat this.
Right now i am getting somewhat irritated at myself for not doing what i am supposed to do, Meditating, growing, Fighting the enemy, Helping my brother and sisters, Helping father Satan and the gods, etc. I need some help here because i hate myself for not doing anything, Riding on the goodness of father and the gods while i dont give anything in return is not something im like to do and try to avoid as much as i can.
There is plenty more i want to say and ask but i wont make it more painfull to read as is because i know everyone has more things to do, Are there any tips you guys can give me or any meditations that can help me in this situation. If you guys want more information i'll gladly tell you everything you want to know.
Thank you guys for your time and help,
Hail Satan.
I have had quite some trouble meditating and focusing on spiritual Satanism/personal growth.
Some of you might remember me because i was active half a year ago but since then things went downhill, I did manage to do the base meditations every single day, Even tough it was extremely hard at times.
Dont get me wrong i did grow but at a slow pace. I have been wondering why it has been so hard to keep meditating and growing, At first i tought that it was because i have had some mental isseu's (nothing mayor). Ofcourse this makes things harder but how could it affect me this badly? Recently i came to a realisation that i live in a ''Jew Nest'' there are a lot of jews where i live, This became even more obvious when i went out to dinner at xmas and about 40-50% of the ppl there were jewish.
I dont know if it is harder for me to do meditations because of the high amount of jews, Or because i somehow do something wrong when doing meditations that makes me not want to meditate at all. And i know about curses and entity's or even toughtforms that work against me, But i feel like there is something else that works against me. The feeling i get is about the same feeling of not wanting to do something or wanting to do something else but on almost an extreem lvl, if i try to supress this feeling it will become worse and worse (this will go on for months on end) up to a point where it almost feels like im falling in some sort of depression. Thats the best i can describe it even tough its not exactly like that.
I have been cleaning my aura every day and for a while i also did return curses but this seemed to worses things (The feelings would go away only to come back a little bit later hitting me with everything it got). I am not sure if i did other meditations to combat this.
Right now i am getting somewhat irritated at myself for not doing what i am supposed to do, Meditating, growing, Fighting the enemy, Helping my brother and sisters, Helping father Satan and the gods, etc. I need some help here because i hate myself for not doing anything, Riding on the goodness of father and the gods while i dont give anything in return is not something im like to do and try to avoid as much as i can.
There is plenty more i want to say and ask but i wont make it more painfull to read as is because i know everyone has more things to do, Are there any tips you guys can give me or any meditations that can help me in this situation. If you guys want more information i'll gladly tell you everything you want to know.
Thank you guys for your time and help,
Hail Satan.