Hello everyone. It has been a while since my last post on this forum. You helped me a lot, and I feel as though I’ve regained some of my inner light. I’m continuing to replenish myself, and I can feel my energy growing. Training is going well, I’m making progress at the gym, and I’ve also been trying different yoga routines. I feel that yoga is very close to my heart. I genuinely enjoy practicing and want to keep growing in that direction.
But there is something I need help with, even if it’s just some kind advice. I’ve even been considering taking a public speaking course and/or acting classes.
The thing is, I sometimes find it difficult to communicate with people. I used to be very withdrawn and inhibited. That has improved over time, but I still feel like the odd one out socially, especially in a group, where I always end up being the quiet one.
Often, I simply have nothing to say. Sometimes, when I try to avoid an awkward silence, I’m comfortable spending time with someone without talking much, but other people don’t always seem to be, I end up feeling as though I’m pretending to be someone else just to keep the conversation going.
Much of the time, this isn’t a problem at all. I have nothing to say and don’t feel like talking, and that doesn’t bother me. But sometimes I do want to connect with someone and take the initiative, yet I don’t know how to begin or what to say.
I’m good at communicating when there’s a clear purpose or something specific to discuss. Sometimes I can actually express myself quite eloquently. But small talk really isn’t my thing.
I probably wouldn’t be thinking about this or posting here right now if I hadn’t recently developed a crush on a girl at work. She has really caught my attention, and I find myself thinking about her a lot.
We’ve had very little interaction so far. At one point, I gave her a piece of candy, and later she returned the gesture. She has started standing near me more often, and I notice her looking at me.
I understand that I need to start a conversation with her, but I find it difficult to take that first step. I don’t want to look like an idiot. I’m afraid of rejection, even though I’ve had relationships before.
On the other hand, I feel as though I don’t even have anything to offer her. What would I say? What would we talk about, and where would it lead? I find it hard to be playful and relaxed at work.
What is holding me back? What do I need to work on?