Sometimes when it comes to parents aside from some obvious issues where kids are taken and harmed to an extreme, or have to live in conditions that aren’t suitable due to lack of stability or guidance at home, parents that put in genuine effort are still valuable. I had to stop and think after everything the past few weeks where maybe certain power games & issues where parents might be “controlling,” aside from loss of control in general post having kids (no excuse) the problem might be that when you see your own kids surpass you in knowledge, skill, and eventually other major things you feel less than. Kids also respect and demand high levels of honesty, not just attention but at some point they want to see that their parents excel and have good character. When kids see that parents don’t meet their standard or ideal because they want the world, it’s easy to be angry. People are all just people, and even parents and kids. Shitty cop outs, every parent has at times. One time I caught my dad intentionally destroying a gift I got him, he didn’t want to take care of it. It was just a plant, and it was an easy plant. It was a CACTUS. I was sad but either way, he still cared about me. I forgive him, did at the time, and still do. You can’t always be the best, even though you are and your kids love you even if they can’t be there. I ran into an old lady who had cancer and she complained that her daughter wasn’t paying attention or didn’t care, it was sad but I had to give her her daughters perspective, I said it’s probably denial which is a totally normal thing. No one wants to hear someone they love may be passing or suffering from a condition, life needs to feel normal, and whatever is right or wrong even legally and especially in family dynamics I really have no clue. No one really does.
Sometimes you can really tell the difference between unconditional love or not, even sometimes conditional is fine. Obviously I felt closer to an attorney at one point than my own mom, she taught me incredible things and I’m not sure whether or not that’s right or wrong. Overall, I feel like I’m on the side of when people are understood and respected even on an emotional and spiritual level, and the better that becomes that’s a major and serious impact which can define success.
sometimes people measure success on superficial things, skill in sports or money. One side of my family has “extreme ethics,” which also successfully impacted a large number of people and will continue to. The other side is very what some people might call “white trash,” I had a gay male friend who told me about how he felt like his mom was a poor mom and mistreated him, he was allegedly forced to sleep on floors and do chores for everyone, and was forced to “serve the women around him,” he said it resulted in him “loving women,” but also causes a lot of drama with women. He wasn’t that bad but definitely had some other issues.
I think I also wanted to leave the forums just dealing with certain crimes I have an issue with not being able to control what I’m doing online or what content is out there. I’ve put a ton of effort into “anti-abuse,” actions, and either way at this point there are some people I don’t actually hate and fully forgive for certain crimes.
The last thing I want no matter what is for anyone to actually be afraid of me that doesn’t deserve that. Anyway, being a parent is hard, and for the most part I can’t judge at all. Other people not getting over their issues really should also do therapy, it’s important for anyone to form their own full life.
The person that was arrested for a felony (due to an incident of abuse/violencd that was extremely severe) I had actually talked to him about violence before and said he better not take anything too far with me. Me of all people, I’m the wrong one to try to pull any slick moves on. He was fully aware of why and chose to do it anyway, he was also one of the most loving people I’ve met. He didn’t hate women, and didn’t even hate me. He was struggling with loss & apparently grief right now, felt confused about my own situation and threatened both of our lives. Police treat it like it’s a hostage or almost something else scenario, but I felt like we made a lot of progress emotionally and he just slipped. We were helping each other get through some of the most complicated and challenging issues, his perspective on politics and mine mattered so I hope via his arrest he gains the right knowledge and does what he wants with it cuz maybe that was the whole point was fact checking whether or not I was telling the truth & knowing that if he did something rly wrong he’d go to the slammer.