I am a 47 yr old male. I was raised a christian. In fact just four years ago I was ordained as a deacon in the baptist church. My problem is that the more i did for god the more pain and suffering would enter into my life. I was born a bastard and at birth was given away. my life has been cursed ever since. I thought if I served god and did as he wanted my life would improve; it didn't, it just got worse. There were times when it was like I was god's joke. It was like he was playing with me. The harder I tried to please him the more he would punish me. I started to wonder why a god of love as he is preached would do or let be done these things to the ones he loves. I have always been taught that Satan was evil. After doing some reading I am starting to think otherwise. I just need to know where to turn. I need my life to turn around. I am tired of being beat down and want to be lifted up. Please someone tell me if Satan is the way to change my life.
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Where do I turn?
- Thread starter ITS M
- Start date
chalchiuhnenetzin
Active member
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2011
- Messages
- 732
This is so typical. If it's any consolation, you are far from alone in such experiences. That's the way the xtian program works, not because something went wrong and you fell between the cracks, but because that's the way it was intentionally designed! The fault is not yours!
(Incidentally, there's no such thing as a "bastard" in the sense you're using it. No one has any control over their birth and one's birth circumstances do not make one better or worse than another.)
To start with, take some time to read and study the JoS site. It's huge, I admit, and therefore can be a bit intimidating, but it contains a wealth of information, consolidated in one place. Just take it bit by bit. Check into the meditation section and begin some of the easier meditations especially formulated for those who are new. (Many meditations and exercises are recommended only for dedicated Spiritual Satanists and others for those who are not only dedicated, but well advanced in occult/spiritual work.) But there are things you can do and use ...
When you feel you have sufficient knowledge, you may reach the stage where you want to make a formal dedication. There is a whole section on that in the JoS site as well. This is a life-altering decision, not one to be entered into lightly. But as your knowledge and familiarity increases, you will find it to be a natural progression. I can say unequivocally that it is the best move I ever made; I just celebrated my fifth year of dedication on the 10th.
There are people on this forum at all levels, from newbies and the curious, to the highly advanced. Most info is on the site, but don't hesitate to ask questions, either.
(Incidentally, there's no such thing as a "bastard" in the sense you're using it. No one has any control over their birth and one's birth circumstances do not make one better or worse than another.)
To start with, take some time to read and study the JoS site. It's huge, I admit, and therefore can be a bit intimidating, but it contains a wealth of information, consolidated in one place. Just take it bit by bit. Check into the meditation section and begin some of the easier meditations especially formulated for those who are new. (Many meditations and exercises are recommended only for dedicated Spiritual Satanists and others for those who are not only dedicated, but well advanced in occult/spiritual work.) But there are things you can do and use ...
When you feel you have sufficient knowledge, you may reach the stage where you want to make a formal dedication. There is a whole section on that in the JoS site as well. This is a life-altering decision, not one to be entered into lightly. But as your knowledge and familiarity increases, you will find it to be a natural progression. I can say unequivocally that it is the best move I ever made; I just celebrated my fifth year of dedication on the 10th.
There are people on this forum at all levels, from newbies and the curious, to the highly advanced. Most info is on the site, but don't hesitate to ask questions, either.
Zildar Raasi
Member
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2004
- Messages
- 117
I know High Priestess Pythia has already responded to you with excellent advice, but I wanted to quickly add something here as well. I have seen all too many times the suffering of those who follow the xian "god". Youre not alone, you are just lucky to be one of those with enough sense to question what is being done to you, rather than choosing to remain in the lie. I hear xians go on about "Oh, its just a test of my faith" so often, and they are so blind to the truth, they just carry on suffering, praying that it will come to an end. My own mother was exactly like this. She is very ill with MS, and has little, sometimes no, money as she had to quit her job. Every night, she used to pray to "god" for help, even just a tiny bit, but it never came and in fact her situation got worse. The one day, her very last bit of money was stolen while she was out. So, that is how this so-called god responds to its followers. I am thankful now that she is beginning to wake up and see the reality, and many people around the world are. When i came to Father Satan, my whole life changed, and I love it! Its definitely not easy, but it is so rewarding, and so worth it and so fulfilling! Satan truly is the most wonderful being, and the Demons are so amazing! They really are there for us, and they really do care. I know this from my own expereinces, as well as those of others I know. So, wellcome to the group!! Its great that you have taken the initiative to find truth. Like others have said, read through the JoS, as this will help you to understand everything immensely. Good luck! Hail Father Satan!!
From: ITS M <savman1129@...
To:
Sent: Thu, November 12, 2009 4:49:15 AM
Subject: Where do I turn?
I am a 47 yr old male. I was raised a christian. In fact just four years ago I was ordained as a deacon in the baptist church. My problem is that the more i did for god the more pain and suffering would enter into my life. I was born a bastard and at birth was given away. my life has been cursed ever since. I thought if I served god and did as he wanted my life would improve; it didn't, it just got worse.. There were times when it was like I was god's joke. It was like he was playing with me. The harder I tried to please him the more he would punish me.. I started to wonder why a god of love as he is preached would do or let be done these things to the ones he loves. I have always been taught that Satan was evil. After doing some reading I am starting to think otherwise. I just need to know where to turn. I need my life to turn around. I am tired of being beat down and want to be lifted up. Please someone tell me if Satan is the way to change my life.
From: ITS M <savman1129@...
To:
Sent: Thu, November 12, 2009 4:49:15 AM
Subject: Where do I turn?
I am a 47 yr old male. I was raised a christian. In fact just four years ago I was ordained as a deacon in the baptist church. My problem is that the more i did for god the more pain and suffering would enter into my life. I was born a bastard and at birth was given away. my life has been cursed ever since. I thought if I served god and did as he wanted my life would improve; it didn't, it just got worse.. There were times when it was like I was god's joke. It was like he was playing with me. The harder I tried to please him the more he would punish me.. I started to wonder why a god of love as he is preached would do or let be done these things to the ones he loves. I have always been taught that Satan was evil. After doing some reading I am starting to think otherwise. I just need to know where to turn. I need my life to turn around. I am tired of being beat down and want to be lifted up. Please someone tell me if Satan is the way to change my life.
I definitely understand where you're coming from. I spent 21years of pain in the xian ways. The harder I tried to adhere to the doctrine, the more pain I was in. I remember laying on my bed, stomach clenched & teeth bared, pleading to yaweh for help. It never came. I eventually found Father, & I've never been more free. It's up to me now, not yaweh, how happy & powerful I am. I have the freedom to be myself, & I thank Satan often for that freedom. That is true love.
Hail Satan!
David
Hail Satan!
David
glad to hear your disillusioned with Christianity, and that Satanism is catching on.corpsedefiled
New member
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2010
- Messages
- 33
you came to the right place, the judeo christian "god" never answers parayer because he's not there, the bible will only fill you with false hope and stupidity. Satan is the One True God, He is the only one that will ever answer your prayers, trust in Him and he will guide you down the left hand path.
Hello.
I can relate; I was raised a xian, was given away (actually a black market baby, but that's another story) and thought much the same way: If I was good and did god (and later the goddess's) will, my life would be good. I have to admit, whereas jerkhova the xian god did nothing for me (didn't answer prayers, etc) I got some benefit from paganism, but I was still coming from the wrong angle.
Trouble with the religions like xianity, right hand paths, is you abdicate the responsibility for your life and expect 'them' to make things better. Left hand path, which Satanism falls under, you are solely responsible for the state of yourself and your life.
You are taking a great and precious step by Questioning - this is where you begin to take control and find how awe-some your life can be. Not pain free (I can sense you are an intelligent individual, and are not looking for a magic bullet here) as I am sure you know, but so much better.
Joy of Satan is a great place to start - read the whole site; it's a lot of information, I know, but it is the best place to find lots of great information in one place. High Priestess Pythia has put a LOT of hard work and research into the site, and I speak as someone who has studied anthropology/archeology/history at a collegiate level, not to mention being involved in Paganism and occultism for over 20 years. Start meditating; this will help you no matter what you decide to do. I can only share my experiences, but there are beings who do care about Humanity, and want to help us be our best. There is help when you need it, but what I have found is They want US to do the majority of the work to make our lives what we want. Talk to Satan, seriously, ask Him for Truth and pay attention; learn everything you can.
I normally lurk, but your post touched me; we are about the same age. I also agree with another poster who advised to drop the whole 'bastard' label. It is hurtful and does you nor anyone any good.
Best of luck in all of your endeavors.
HS
B
I can relate; I was raised a xian, was given away (actually a black market baby, but that's another story) and thought much the same way: If I was good and did god (and later the goddess's) will, my life would be good. I have to admit, whereas jerkhova the xian god did nothing for me (didn't answer prayers, etc) I got some benefit from paganism, but I was still coming from the wrong angle.
Trouble with the religions like xianity, right hand paths, is you abdicate the responsibility for your life and expect 'them' to make things better. Left hand path, which Satanism falls under, you are solely responsible for the state of yourself and your life.
You are taking a great and precious step by Questioning - this is where you begin to take control and find how awe-some your life can be. Not pain free (I can sense you are an intelligent individual, and are not looking for a magic bullet here) as I am sure you know, but so much better.
Joy of Satan is a great place to start - read the whole site; it's a lot of information, I know, but it is the best place to find lots of great information in one place. High Priestess Pythia has put a LOT of hard work and research into the site, and I speak as someone who has studied anthropology/archeology/history at a collegiate level, not to mention being involved in Paganism and occultism for over 20 years. Start meditating; this will help you no matter what you decide to do. I can only share my experiences, but there are beings who do care about Humanity, and want to help us be our best. There is help when you need it, but what I have found is They want US to do the majority of the work to make our lives what we want. Talk to Satan, seriously, ask Him for Truth and pay attention; learn everything you can.
I normally lurk, but your post touched me; we are about the same age. I also agree with another poster who advised to drop the whole 'bastard' label. It is hurtful and does you nor anyone any good.
Best of luck in all of your endeavors.
HS
B
Well said. I responded to the O.P. before reading your post, and am afraid I repeated much of what you have said, but you said it far better than I did; you always have good posts. If you have the time and desire, please come participate at Adversary: http://adversary.yuku.com/
The aim is to be a sort of informal lounge for us to talk about things without clogging the space here for the Q&A that the yahoo group seems to be designed for.
HS
B
The aim is to be a sort of informal lounge for us to talk about things without clogging the space here for the Q&A that the yahoo group seems to be designed for.
HS
B
I thank you for your response. The bastard label doesn't bother me a bit. I am who I am and I had no control over my birth. I was amazed one day when I read in the old testiment of the bible that "bastards" are cursed and forbiddened from god's temple. Not just me but ten generations after me. What kind of god curses a person for something they have no control over? I sometimes wonder if this curse is the reason why my life has been such a struggle. I have always tried very hard to be a good person and abided by the christian laws. When i failed I confessed and asked for forgiveness. All this got me was more grief. I'm tired, I have led a good life and am tired of watching others be blessed while I struggle, watch others have fun while I live my life in bondage to an absent god. It's my turn. This is what I seek. Is this the wrong approach?
Thank you! I have gone to the JoS site and have started reading. You are right, it is a lot to learn. I have admit that I am scared somewhat. The fear is based in my upbringing i know. Everyone in this group has been very helpful and kind. I have to admit this took me by surprise.
chalchiuhnenetzin
Active member
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2011
- Messages
- 732
You are very welcome! Just keep reading/studying; the fear will leave you before too long. Most of us have experienced it when new. We know where it originates and when the hold of judeo-xtianity is broken, it will no longer have power over you. It will no longer exist.
