Vulnerable stage

[Simon Jones]

It has been roughly 2 and a half years since I last posted, during that time I studied Spiritual Satanism left, right, sideways, backwards and inside out to fathom every possible meaning to every little scrupulous detail of the literature. It didn't matter how often I studied, how much effort I put in, nor what I understood, fundamentally there are still too many unanswered questions and queries that stop me from dedicating, like shackles binding me from falling over the other side of the fence. Unfortunately I am a cautious character; until I feel more than positive about a decision, I will wait, study each side of each coin to get a personal understanding before diving in the deep end. This is a problem I have with Lucifer, how can he expect I dedicate the most valuable part of my existence to a being I do not know personally there is not trust, essentially I know nothing about him or the benevolent demons of the world, all I can do is take the literatures word for it, in the hopes that if I dive in the deep end, the sharks will not gnaw at my soul, and that I will be condemned to an oblivion I cannot even possibly comprehend. Dedicating for me does not seem brave nor courageous, it is simply a leap of faith down a relationship that could make or break life as a whole.  
The ideology of SS and the principles of Lucifer are marvellous and something that I could aspire to if I had that “assurance” that I’ll be spat out the other side soul intact and ready to fight. The idea of Lucifer existing infuriates me, It takes a lot of effort for me to even consider getting angry, but this is different, it’s best described as anger not my own, or it is but it’s being empowered by something other than myself. This anger is not hate, it’s difficult to put into words, suppose it’s prudent to say I blame Lucifer for everything, how the world is shaped, how “weak” he was before his imprisonment and how he could allow the human species to develop in such a barbaric and mindless outlet. It is far easier to place blame than to accept inherent responsibility for our own destruction and misfortune. This is how I feel from time to time, more often than not I have had an “emotional” dream or nightmare, waking up engulfed in anger, betrayal, sadness and resentment, being so upset it feels I've been emotionally punctured, my body goes into fight or flight mode trying to stop the tears or at least hide them from the world. I can remember how vivid the dreams are, all I have to do is think, and the emotions slowly trickle back, these types of experiences…are amazing, I love it, could it be a benevolent entity trying to communicate through emotion? Possibly, could it be a fabrication of my own imagination? Possibly, could it be a malevolent being trying to subconsciously re-program me to hate Lucifer and his ilk? Possibly. These uncertainties are quite extraordinary but equally terrifying.
Lucifer’s existence is essentially the best news I could have ever imagined, think of the possibilities for spiritual advancement, physical and psychological advancement and well-being. It is such a delightful feeling that makes me burst with excitement, that God truly cares for his people, to educate and to obliterate our enemies for the betterment of the world. I think about Satanism once or twice a day, I'm not desperate or obsessed, I just see Satanism with a positive outlook; whenever I'm stressed or simply hoping, I get an inner sense of peace and clairvoyance when I read and study, whilst scrolling through endless emails to see that I'm clearly not alone in my endeavours, it is indeed heart-warming. I've been at a vulnerable state over the past few months, I feel more “in-tuned” with the world as cliché as it sounds, I'm more social, more confident, and more emotionally engaged, but the feeling is…different from what I'm used to, it is difficult to describe. Long story short, description of myself, 3rd year Sport Scientist, 21 years old, hopes and dreams, I want to be a Royal Marine officer aspiring to become a commander of the British Special Forces, I have left a fair amount of detail out for speculative and personal reasons. I have all the necessary tools and equipment to dedicate and start meditating; I just need someone to fly kick my soul over to the other side of the fence during my vulnerable stage, I do not know how long this feeling will last. I apologise for any offence or transgression caused, and apologies for the long post, but your influence could be the last deciding factor.
From Britain with love,
Simon.

 

[shantikami]

You have to remember, being un-dedicated does leave you vulnerable to grays & angels &c. I can totally see them doing everything they can to keep you from making any positive contact with Satan. And trying to get you to blame him for everything they & their minions have done to hurt our gentile races.

Why not try meditating on Satan, to see if you can make a connection? Look at images of him. Light a candle to honor him. Maybe even print up and destroy some images of the enemy, so they know you do not want their influence?

Hoping this helps.

 

[aldric.strickland88]

Wow you are a very intelligent man. Unfortunately, that is not alway a good thing. You see in life if you have a little intelligence and great ambition versus those who are highly intelligent. The ambitious person will fair out better. If you have a Ferrari sitting in your driveway but you don't engage into drive, it won't go no where. Where as someone who has a less powerful car but has the ambition to put it into drive can go much further. 
 I would suggest invoking some earth. What you need to do is make a list. I can keep up just fine with what you are saying, but too others it may be confusing. Make a list of every problem you are having. List them by number and space in between each one. Such as this.

 1. How do I know Lucifer is real?
 2. How could Satan lose the war?
 3. Why would he allow the world to be so corrupt? 
 Then, we can take each and every one of these, one at a time. Make them into their own topics. Have everyone discuss them and explain. Other wise if we do not do it this way, everyone is going to get distracted and all over the place. You will learn nothing. This whole thing will be a failure. Also, infiltrators could take advantage of this and spread doubt. This way allows us to control each thing, one at a time. 
  You are very smart and are bringing up a lot at once. We need to disect it in order to get too it all. 

 

[centralforce6661]

I would be willing to bet this guy has enough Earth Aldric... he is so cautious that he won't move. That smells of Capricorn to me (not that that is a bad thing).

I would go for fire, the spirit to move forward and take risks, the Aries nature which lunges first and asks questions later. Difficult Elemental meditations aside, Satan wants dedication partly as a test of courage and worth. We prove ourselves to Him, He has no requirement to prove Himself to us although He does time am time again with enough meditation and after dedication of course.

Skepticism is useful but if it restrains your ability to move then perhaps it is out of balance.

For me skepticism helped shaped the strong degree of my appreciation for what it is I have found when after 9 years my life is not as I could have ever imagined it would be, save for His hand and that which He has taught me to do magically.

 

[aldric.strickland88]

Yeah your probably right about the earth. Ofcourse it says your suppose to fully know yourself before invoking elements and all that. So maybe that's not even the best answer. Anyway the important thing is that he learn and ask one question at a time. Slowly over time being able to elevate his ignorance.