Maya
Member
Trauma is not what happened to you, but the impact it had to you, what happened inside of you as a result of an event that happened to you.
The origin of the word trauma comes from the Greek word τραύμα which means wound. Trauma is an injury. When we have a wound we are hurt and we hurt. Trauma is an emotional injury, a psychological injury.
Let's say you are injured, you have an open wound and you touch it, it hurts.
Trauma is an unhealed psychological wound. When someone says the wrong thing to a person who is traumatised, it feels like touching an open wound. The traumatised person will react; they will feel like they are being hurt all over again. If there was no wound, it wouldn't hurt at all.
The other side of trauma is exactly like something that can happen to a wound. Scar tissue. A scar tissue is not flexible, it's hard, rigid. It also can't grow, and doesn't have nerve endings. It can't feel a thing. Let's apply this nature to a traumatised person. In specific areas they can seem like they are rigid, not flexible, like there is no capacity to grow.
Now, let's imagine a child, 4 years old for example. They can't defend themselves, they can't run away, they can't fight back. What happens when they get traumatised? They can't protect themselves, so they disconnect from themselves, their body, their feelings. This disconnection can cause many issues, mental and physical, until they heal the wound.
Some may think "how can a 4y.o. get traumatised?". Well some reasons can be death of a parent, death of a sibling, sexual/physical/emotional abuse, a bad divorce, violence in the family, an addicted parent, imprisonment of a parent/sibling, a parent being mentally ill; neglect, separation. These are a few of the events that can traumatise a child, but there are more.
Another reason is not giving them the things they need. I am not talking about creating a little brat, but giving them what they actually need. Children have an absolute need for unconditional acceptance, love. To be heard, to be seen, to be accepted for who they are.
Let's say I am a child, and my father dies. Let's say my mother loves me to the moon and back, but, cause of her own trauma, stress, obligations, difficulties she experiences, problems, she isn't expressing it, she isn't supportive, she doesn't spend time with me. I don't feel heard, seen, accepted, loved enough. I don't have anyone to talk to, to share my fears, my difficult emotions. She doesn't want this to happen, she doesn't realise that this is even happening. But it is happening, it's getting bigger and bigger day by day. I end up feeling alone, getting used to being alone. So I disconnect from myself, from my feelings.
Wounds can be healed. Trauma can be healed. When we realise that our traumatic responses isn't ourselves talking, then we can work and become ourselves again. Recognition is the first step. If I am not aware I have a wound, I won't treat it right in order to heal. Until I realise I have a wound. Then I will think that I have to treat it even though it hurts. Healing process starts when we start taking some responsibility. This is the second step. "Why did this happened to me?" Is not taking any responsibility. But, "what is in me that may have helped this to happen?", "How did this happen?". Maybe I got a wound when I was a kid, but now that I am an adult, what do I do about it?
The origin of the word trauma comes from the Greek word τραύμα which means wound. Trauma is an injury. When we have a wound we are hurt and we hurt. Trauma is an emotional injury, a psychological injury.
Let's say you are injured, you have an open wound and you touch it, it hurts.
Trauma is an unhealed psychological wound. When someone says the wrong thing to a person who is traumatised, it feels like touching an open wound. The traumatised person will react; they will feel like they are being hurt all over again. If there was no wound, it wouldn't hurt at all.
The other side of trauma is exactly like something that can happen to a wound. Scar tissue. A scar tissue is not flexible, it's hard, rigid. It also can't grow, and doesn't have nerve endings. It can't feel a thing. Let's apply this nature to a traumatised person. In specific areas they can seem like they are rigid, not flexible, like there is no capacity to grow.
Now, let's imagine a child, 4 years old for example. They can't defend themselves, they can't run away, they can't fight back. What happens when they get traumatised? They can't protect themselves, so they disconnect from themselves, their body, their feelings. This disconnection can cause many issues, mental and physical, until they heal the wound.
Some may think "how can a 4y.o. get traumatised?". Well some reasons can be death of a parent, death of a sibling, sexual/physical/emotional abuse, a bad divorce, violence in the family, an addicted parent, imprisonment of a parent/sibling, a parent being mentally ill; neglect, separation. These are a few of the events that can traumatise a child, but there are more.
Another reason is not giving them the things they need. I am not talking about creating a little brat, but giving them what they actually need. Children have an absolute need for unconditional acceptance, love. To be heard, to be seen, to be accepted for who they are.
Let's say I am a child, and my father dies. Let's say my mother loves me to the moon and back, but, cause of her own trauma, stress, obligations, difficulties she experiences, problems, she isn't expressing it, she isn't supportive, she doesn't spend time with me. I don't feel heard, seen, accepted, loved enough. I don't have anyone to talk to, to share my fears, my difficult emotions. She doesn't want this to happen, she doesn't realise that this is even happening. But it is happening, it's getting bigger and bigger day by day. I end up feeling alone, getting used to being alone. So I disconnect from myself, from my feelings.
Wounds can be healed. Trauma can be healed. When we realise that our traumatic responses isn't ourselves talking, then we can work and become ourselves again. Recognition is the first step. If I am not aware I have a wound, I won't treat it right in order to heal. Until I realise I have a wound. Then I will think that I have to treat it even though it hurts. Healing process starts when we start taking some responsibility. This is the second step. "Why did this happened to me?" Is not taking any responsibility. But, "what is in me that may have helped this to happen?", "How did this happen?". Maybe I got a wound when I was a kid, but now that I am an adult, what do I do about it?
