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missyandIselfie.jpg</ol>When I saw this post it made me flash back to losing my cat. I want to share her story please.
She was so special as we were far more than owner and pet. When I rescued her and brought her home that first day she spoke to me telepathically. Over the years we enjoyed a very special bond and she helped me immensely when I went through very dark years where she was the only real friend I had. During those days and years when I wanted to die I held on because I had promised her that I would love her and be there for her all the days of her life and I HAD to keep the promise...I gave her my word. So she saved my life many, many times. I had major trauma growing up around murdered animals and my inability to save them. I was just a kid and powerless then. I tried but they were literally taken from my arms and killed and the guilt I felt of failing them ate at my soul for years after. I avoided having animals for a long time as a young adult it hurt too much. I was afraid to get one, to love an animal again. And then she was literally brought to me in desperate need, so I decided to try to save one more animal. I saved her and I kept my word. So she healed that old pain too. I felt I had finally done something right.
She loved to sit and stare at me like a little sphinx. I would feel her energy concentrated on me and there she would be, staring intently at me like I fascinated her. I always wondered what she saw in me. When I felt her doing this and looked back to her she would lock eyes with me and we would stare and stare into each others eyes. Unlike most animals who will look away if you stare back, she never did. When I worked on paintings, she came and sat and watched. Me being creative seemed to fascinate her. When I was in fear at night
(I suffered from intense fear of the dark) she made me feel safe. When I was dreaming in the astral and being attacked, she came and protected me. Sometimes when she appeared there she was the size of a lion. I loved the shit out of her. Her happy place was in the basket I got for her, on the window ledge in the sun.
12 years later. She was dying of cancer while I nursed her around the clock (one of my past lives was as a nurse in an animal hospital so I knew how - the vet said it was inoperable and the choice was to leave her in ICU to die with strangers or take her home so I took her home). I tried so hard to save her but she just went down and down. And then one morning I was in the kitchen and felt her energy focused on me. I looked up and through the door into the bedroom. She was staring intently at me, as always. And I 'heard' her say:
"I don't want to leave you, but I have to be going now..." I went to her and held her and said: No, you can't, don't! Please don't leave me!" But she did, she died in my arms. It hurt so fucking bad. I kind of went totally crazy for several days after. I have never lost total control of myself and screamed like that in my life. I'm amazed the neighbors didn't call the police to report I was being murdered! But she was a gift from The Gods. She was worth the pain of losing her for she gave me so much joy in the darkness that was my life for a very long time. I am so grateful I was privileged to be the one she was sent to. She was much more than a mere pet.
I just wanted to remember her, honor her, why I shared this. I thank the Gods for her. She was such a grand gift. Thank you Satan. I know you sent her. I might not have been dedicated to you yet then but I know it was you.
Hail Satan!
PS: I took her body to the vets for private cremation and they left me alone with her to say goodbye. I sat and put my arms around her as I did so many times in life and I talked to her for quite a while, thanking her. When I laid my head on her and said: "Thank you so much for being my friend." She responded! She burst into loud purring. I heard this astrally since she had been dead for at least an hour by then. The picture is a painting I did from a selfie I took of us one morning. I don't suffer from extreme depression and constant suicidal thoughts like that anymore, by the way. She appeared in my life when I really needed her though I didn't know I did. I guess The Gods did