hailbelphagor
New member
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2008
- Messages
- 27
Shortly after dedicating myself, last December, I began my meditation programs. I felt my energy levels rising, my chakras opening and experienced some wonderful, amazing things.
As soon as I began making progress, I lost two family members and this proved a painful distraction. But I kept trying, at least I like to think so.
I began to find myself under attack a lot. Anxieties, nightmares, confusion, failed meditations, etc., I was beginning to feel very lost and confused. I should have come here for advice. I thought I could just plow through, alone, even though I'm still very new and not strong enough. Looking back, I even failed to ask Father for guidance.
Then I found myself followed around on jewbook by a number of extremely annoying jews who could not fathom the idea of not being the nasty things they are.
I found myself very alone and tormented. I went back to drinking, smoking, trying to play nice with those nasty things and all sorts of other self-destructive behaviors again - exactly where I was before dedicating but worse, since I knew WHAT I was failing at.
I believe now I was under constant attack and these fucking jew things were only beginning to start in on me. Their goal was my suicide. I think it's because they fear us. They feared me but I don't mean to sound arrogant. I just know I have some under-developed gifts. Like so many of us, I too have felt protected and guided by "something" my whole life.
Anyway, Father (Or my guardian demon) reminded me you folks were here. I was reminded the JoS site is still up. I was reminded to begin my studying.
The first time I came back to one of the threads, I was seriously weighing my suicide. It was in the thread I had pulled up wherein I saw my problem. I had turned my back to Satan. I had lapsed in my own meditations and efforts.
I have resumed my aura of protection meds, chakra spins and a couple of the breathing exercises. I'm back at square one but those nasty jew things failed to reach their goal of my death. They might try again but my own rage will be included with every attack repelled. I will smile as they suffer.
Thank you Father Satan. Praise all the True Gods!
As soon as I began making progress, I lost two family members and this proved a painful distraction. But I kept trying, at least I like to think so.
I began to find myself under attack a lot. Anxieties, nightmares, confusion, failed meditations, etc., I was beginning to feel very lost and confused. I should have come here for advice. I thought I could just plow through, alone, even though I'm still very new and not strong enough. Looking back, I even failed to ask Father for guidance.
Then I found myself followed around on jewbook by a number of extremely annoying jews who could not fathom the idea of not being the nasty things they are.
I found myself very alone and tormented. I went back to drinking, smoking, trying to play nice with those nasty things and all sorts of other self-destructive behaviors again - exactly where I was before dedicating but worse, since I knew WHAT I was failing at.
I believe now I was under constant attack and these fucking jew things were only beginning to start in on me. Their goal was my suicide. I think it's because they fear us. They feared me but I don't mean to sound arrogant. I just know I have some under-developed gifts. Like so many of us, I too have felt protected and guided by "something" my whole life.
Anyway, Father (Or my guardian demon) reminded me you folks were here. I was reminded the JoS site is still up. I was reminded to begin my studying.
The first time I came back to one of the threads, I was seriously weighing my suicide. It was in the thread I had pulled up wherein I saw my problem. I had turned my back to Satan. I had lapsed in my own meditations and efforts.
I have resumed my aura of protection meds, chakra spins and a couple of the breathing exercises. I'm back at square one but those nasty jew things failed to reach their goal of my death. They might try again but my own rage will be included with every attack repelled. I will smile as they suffer.
Thank you Father Satan. Praise all the True Gods!