slowly losing myself.

[luckoflucifer]

It's becoming really hard to stay focused and keep up with meditations daily. I'm 17 years old, I dedicated on May 3rd, 2013. At first I was deeply interested in Satanism, I still am but I just feel like I'm losing touch with who I am. I went through a deep depression 9th and 10th grade of high school. Two damn years of being stuck in a hole, completely isolated. Lately, I've just been feeling so out of it. I have no idea what it is.

I've been thinking that maybe I have too much of the water element in me, (i'm a pisces, march 9) and also been thinking of invoking some earth. I've read of invoking and evoking but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it.. I like the person I am, I just sometimes wish I was more strong willed, per se.

Is there anyone out there that can help with anything, I'd be greatly appreciated. I don't like sounding like a whiny little bitch, but I really am starting to feel a little helpless.

 

[Shannon Outlaw]

You need to keep meditating. Also you probably should invoke earth. Earth is stability and grounding. Fire can work too for confidence and will but try earth. You will not change you will have to keep doingit here and there. Do this to help yourself. Its your choice.




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On Mon, Jul 29, 2013 3:30 PM PDT luckoflucifer wrote:

It's becoming really hard to stay focused and keep up with meditations daily. I'm 17 years old, I dedicated on May 3rd, 2013. At first I was deeply interested in Satanism, I still am but I just feel like I'm losing touch with who I am. I went through a deep depression 9th and 10th grade of high school. Two damn years of being stuck in a hole, completely isolated. Lately, I've just been feeling so out of it. I have no idea what it is.

I've been thinking that maybe I have too much of the water element in me, (i'm a pisces, march 9) and also been thinking of invoking some earth. I've read of invoking and evoking but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it.. I like the person I am, I just sometimes wish I was more strong willed, per se.

Is there anyone out there that can help with anything, I'd be greatly appreciated. I don't like sounding like a whiny little bitch, but I really am starting to feel a little helpless.