I personally think you were communicating with an enemy entity. Demons don't kill themselves. They are immortal and have the wisdom and means to fix things or to deal with them in the best possible way. Killing oneself is not an option to take. Even over a lover.The enemy will tell us and spin for us fantasies that seem to be too good to be true. Ground yourself in reality. The gods are logical, reasonable, truthful and not liars. They don't spin stories for our ego, which only serve to mislead and distract us from the things that matter (spiritual warfare, power meditation, Satan and Satanism, evolving and advancing ourselves, etc.)
Hail Satan!Hail Marchosias!
Father revealed to me my past. He told me that I never liked christianity and when I was indoctrinated in this and another life, I always came back to him. He told me that I never stayed a slave to Christ.
About me once being a demon? I killed myself because I believed that my lover left me... he told me that I had became mortal and lost everything, including my past. He told me that I killed myself... and I had to start all over again. He also said that my soul was damaged. ...People, don't commit suicide. It's BAD. The gods are still fixing me and helping me all because I killed myself...and one of my lives I was murdered. No one should want to die... you can lose so damn much of yourself.
Hail Satanama!