Self-destructive tendencies

[Azorm]

Apparently literally everybody can notice that I have a problem with this and I do.

Tho reason why I said I am my own enemy was for another reasons but okay ( because we are to blame for most of the bad things that happen to us blah blah...)

I must start a working to fix my issue. I must pick a good date soon and good runes. I am okay with mantras too. Any advices and tips?



My problem is complex and it's linked to some of the traumas from the past lives and because of my overly strict and abusive parents ( my mother was beating me like crazy every day for years and years because I was too stupid and stubborn kid in her opinion). Part of my personality now is just being too strict and harsh with myself and I always want too much to achieve in life and to be the best in everything.

I'm kinda bad at learning new things because of some traumas and that is often making me feel really bad and I fucked up lot of my meditations too. Also I feel guilty because I was mean to some people and done some shit in the past. So I ended up hating myself. My problem is still here. I am doing 2 workings to heal my traumas and my bodies now, but soon I could start a new one

 

[EasternFireLion666]

Apparently literally everybody can notice that I have a problem with this and I do.

Tho reason why I said I am my own enemy was for another reasons but okay ( because we are to blame for most of the bad things that happen to us blah blah...)

I must start a working to fix my issue. I must pick a good date soon and good runes. I am okay with mantras too. Any advices and tips?



My problem is complex and it's linked to some of the traumas from the past lives and because of my overly strict and abusive parents ( my mother was beating me like crazy every day for years and years because I was too stupid and stubborn kid in her opinion). Part of my personality now is just being too strict and harsh with myself and I always want too much to achieve in life and to be the best in everything.

I'm kinda bad at learning new things because of some traumas and that is often making me feel really bad and I fucked up lot of my meditations too. Also I feel guilty because I was mean to some people and done some shit in the past. So I ended up hating myself. My problem is still here. I am doing 2 workings to heal my traumas and my bodies now, but soon I could start a new one

It really depends what you want more specifically. Independence, making peace with your family, detaching from past events...

Depending what you want you can choose a rune from the runes description page. I would advice one at a time for more focused power. A waxing moon is perfect for most workings unless it is something that needs unbinding, destroying a link ... in short a minus of some kind case in which a waxing moon is ok to start the rune cycle. 40 days for a more lasting effect, probably even permanent.

 

[Shael]

But honestly, you did get good advise in your previous topic, especially the ones that told you to clean your aura and soul, so why haven't you started following the advise you got there?
do you really need to make more posts for people to repeat themselves?

She stated that she's doing workings to fix things. As far as I see it all she did was ask for any additional working-ideas that she could add on to her routine in regards to fixing the issue.
You said that you shouldnt expect a tree to suddenly grow instantly after planting a seed, yet here you expect her to suddenly be completely healed and fixed immediately (or atleast substantially better) after getting some advice and starting to work on the issue. From what she has described, these are serious and deep traumas that will take time to heal.

 

[Dahaarkan]

I don't think you need to use runes to fix this issue. Banish negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmation whenever they crop up. Save up your energies for...literally anything else. Money workings or something.

I had the same issue and all it really took is a consious effort to block and banish negative thoughts for a year or so. I've reached the point where such thoughts are blocked and banished subconsiously. Even when I'm feeling down and I start to "build up" such thoughts they are cut off pretty much automatically. I feel resistance when trying to talk down to myself, because my mind is programmed to reject this.

 

[Rook]

But honestly, you did get good advise in your previous topic, especially the ones that told you to clean your aura and soul, so why haven't you started following the advise you got there?
do you really need to make more posts for people to repeat themselves?

You said that you shouldnt expect a tree to suddenly grow instantly after planting a seed, yet here you expect her to suddenly be completely healed and fixed immediately (or atleast substantially better) after getting some advice and starting to work on the issue.

I expected this?
what sort of logic did you use or did you use logic at all to assume that i expected this.
I quite literally said that things like this don't happen spontaneously and you even quoted it.
Yet here you are saying that i expected her workings to spontaneously be completed.

Did you even read the rest of my post?
i even suggested she gets a hobby or something to past the time because i already acknowledged the fact that her problems won't be solved instantly and i have also stated this in what you quoted,
so what is your point exactly or do you even have one?

1. She stated that she's doing workings to fix things. As far as I see it all she did was ask for any additional working-ideas that she could add on to her routine in regards to fixing the issue.
2. From what she has described, these are serious and deep traumas that will take time to heal.

Yes, thank you for stating the obvious i have read these things on her post.
I think you missed the point of my reply completely.

 

[Shael]

...

For the sake of avoiding infighting, and because we are not talking physically here, I will keep this somewhat short and polite.

Right here you said:

so why haven't you started following the advise you got there?

This is what I was referencing.
From my point of view, what you are saying here is that, because she is asking for more ideas on here, it would be safe to assume that she isn't applying any of the advice that she had previously been given.

Basically the way I understood this is that what you meant was, if she applied the advice the she was given, she should just stay quiet and patient until eventually everything is solved.

Yes you gave her some decent advice here recommending a hobby or something of the like. But aside from this you essentially just heavily emphasized that "after already getting advice previousy, you should just keep your damn mouth shut". And this specifically is what is irritating me about you. What issue is there in her making some topics asking for further advice? It's not like she asked the exact same thing and didn't take action. She specifically said she's been taking that advice and now is looking for further additions she could make.

I've always had that issue with you, and this reply of yours just seemed to be a good time to adress that. Naturally, I am nobody to tell you what to do. Just if you think that it's a good idea to go around here trying to discourage people from asking questions, and only giving some small bits of advice wrapped in a package of "you should feel bad for even asking this", then I will also be here to reply to every single one of these messages of yours to correct you.

I believe people here should be allowed to post their questions without having to be scared of "getting a smack on the head by Rook" for it essentially every single time (unless you are busy for some reason). To me this just looks like creating a toxic elitist environment where people feel pressured away from asking most questions out of fear from getting lectured by you or the few other people like you here.

 

[Rook]

...

For the sake of avoiding infighting, and because we are not talking physically here, I will keep this somewhat short and polite.

Right here you said:

so why haven't you started following the advise you got there?

This is what I was referencing.
From my point of view, what you are saying here is that, because she is asking for more ideas on here, it would be safe to assume that she isn't applying any of the advice that she had previously been given.

Basically the way I understood this is that what you meant was, if she applied the advice the she was given, she should just stay quiet and patient until eventually everything is solved.

Yes you gave her some decent advice here recommending a hobby or something of the like. But aside from this you essentially just heavily emphasized that "after already getting advice previousy, you should just keep your damn mouth shut". And this specifically is what is irritating me about you. What issue is there in her making some topics asking for further advice? It's not like she asked the exact same thing and didn't take action. She specifically said she's been taking that advice and now is looking for further additions she could make.

I've always had that issue with you, and this reply of yours just seemed to be a good time to adress that. Naturally, I am nobody to tell you what to do. Just if you think that it's a good idea to go around here trying to discourage people from asking questions, and only giving some small bits of advice wrapped in a package of "you should feel bad for even asking this", then I will also be here to reply to every single one of these messages of yours to correct you.

I believe people here should be allowed to post their questions without having to be scared of "getting a smack on the head by Rook" for it essentially every single time (unless you are busy for some reason). To me this just looks like creating a toxic elitist environment where people feel pressured away from asking most questions out of fear from getting lectured by you or the few other people like you here.

"Yes you gave her some decent advice here recommending a hobby or something of the like. But aside from this you essentially just heavily emphasized that "after already getting advice previousy, you should just keep your damn mouth shut". And this specifically is what is irritating me about you. What issue is there in her making some topics asking for further advice? It's not like she asked the exact same thing and didn't take action. She specifically said she's been taking that advice and now is looking for further additions she could make.

I've always had that issue with you, and this reply of yours just seemed to be a good time to adress that. Naturally, I am nobody to tell you what to do. Just if you think that it's a good idea to go around here trying to discourage people from asking questions, and only giving some small bits of advice wrapped in a package of "you should feel bad for even asking this", then I will also be here to reply to every single one of these messages of yours to correct you."
Just read the most recent reply i gave her, i couldn't be arsed to repeat myself.

"I believe people here should be allowed to post their questions without having to be scared of "getting a smack on the head by Rook""
Who exactly are these people who're scared to post questions here because of me? lol,
quite frankly you're right they shouldn't be scared, but also quite frankly i don't see anyone like this, and if they are people like this, then it is simply their problem, because i for one see no reason why people would be 'scared' of me, especially when i'm not one to just string a bunch of insults or threaten them, i only point out the problems in things i see, quite ironically this is also what you believe yourself to be doing right now.

"To me this just looks like creating a toxic elitist environment where people feel pressured away from asking most questions out of fear from getting lectured by you or the few other people like you here."
that's life, what else can i say, there're also a lot of people here that i think are a detriment to others ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it doesn't discourage me, mainly because i don't really care for a the approval/disapproval of others, it's also quite ironic but this isn't the 1st time this has happened to me i got ganged up on a old topic insulted and spoken down to, people quite literally say that i'm being hostile or whatever and then there's you, do you realize you're doing the same thing you're accusing me of? but fortunately for me i couldn't really give a shit.

Thank you for the input tho, but from what i see there's noting to address here, as you pointed out these are mainly just your personal feeling towards me so i quite frankly don't see any 'injustice' in what i have said elsewhere in this topic.

 

[LightAlgur]

Yo Azorm, why is your picture of burning wood?

 

[Azorm]

Yo Azorm, why is your picture of burning wood?

Are you Rooks friend? Lol

No, it's a sword. If you want to insult me try better, but I am good at that myself anyways.

Have a nice day xP

 

[LightAlgur]

Rook, seriously :!: your word and reality attacks are so strong...

it took out my left nut.

Stop being such a meanie please

 

[Rook]

Rook, seriously :!: your word and reality attacks are so strong...

it took out my left nut.

Stop being such a meanie please

lmao my bad bro, maybe it grows back.

 

[LightAlgur]

Azorm, giirrrrllllll, what does that signature means?

It’s starting to freak me out lol

Plz don’t write me an essay thx

just trying to figure out an acquaintance here

 

[Azorm]

Gods, you guys are a little in touch with your emotions eh. That's alright. Not the first time I'm going to be accused of being a Yehubor without concrete evidence.

Anyways, Rook and I are just acquaintances, just like you (Azorm, Shael) and I as well.

Perhaps this picture symbolizes one destroying their soul back into the ether. Since the back ground is purple and the guy or girl is umm tearing off into pieces?

Self destructive tendencies huh...

Actually, no, it's my painting of my opening of 7. chakra and awakening of the pineal gland more. I was painting it almost all the time when my consciousness was expanding out of my head. I felt like I was one with the cosmos. It was beautiful. I was drifting off everywhere, my mind was huge as the room I was in and then it started being even bigger and bigger. I felt it all almost and I would recieve weird info, a lot of weird informations...Some sort of gnosis I believe or whatever they call it.
I wanted to go in trance and just chill but I was drawing or painting most of the time because it was really fun to do while feeling like that.

Guy has his consciousness bigger than his head. I often felt like my skull will crack. I felt pressure in my head. Reason why his head has cracked open like that.

Most of people see what you described tho...

I like it because it keeps reminding me why I am here. I like this path and it gives me a reason to keep going and to keep living in this world. This painting means a lot to me.

Now I feel like I will drift off on the astral and never return but I can't ask anybody for any advices on this as I feel that people will think I am doing drugs and will attack me most likely. Material is soo not fun lately. And no I am not feeling even so bad about myself anymore, I am okay. I am happy now actually. If you don't like me that is fine, I am learning not to care. Soon I will stop giving a fuck completely as it's pointless to give any.

 

[Shael]

Gods, you guys are a little in touch with your emotions eh. That's alright. Not the first time I'm going to be accused of being a Yehubor without concrete evidence.

I'm not accusing you of anything. The point is you are just commenting here (and on other places) trying nothing more than to start up beef with other SS by making snarky comments. Asking questions is completely fine, but any idiot could see the passive-aggressiveness in your posts here and elsewhere.

I don't think you are a Yehubor nor do I think you're an infiltrator, atleast most likely. I'd give you the benefit of doubt so to say. But what you are indeed is someone who has serious issues when it comes to talking with others. I doubt I'm the first one to mention (or hint) this to you either. Your posts mainly are composed of short ironic phrases trying to project your own superiority or "muh is special"-ness. This is often done by people when their ego is damaged and they try to artificially inflate it to feel calm and safe again. I've seen lots of people like this.
I doubt you're a bad guy really. You just cant talk properly, which is what I was trying to point out to you with my recent replies to your posts.

 

[Azorm]

Here I will nicely put how things are now.

I don't seek for any more help or advices as I already recieved too many, it's on me now to apply those successfully and to fix my things. I don't want to talk about my self-destructive tendencies, as it's pointless.

All those who are trying to help me right now are just losing their time as I can't be helped by anyone here, since all help I could recieve is already recieved, now only one who can help me is me myself, and maybe someone who actually can see what is going on with me better, but I see no reason for anybody to waste their time and energy on me anymore, as I am already working hard to fix this. Runes and workings and all I already can manage on my own, I am not that big idiot. I did asked for advices on my problems but I don't want or need any more of them.

My artworks will not be displayed here until I don't draw something that is suitable for this place actually. This is about life and light, not about freaky dark stuff tho I didn't tried to put bad energies in that drawing but okay, I understand how people tend to pick bad vibes from me.

Those who maybe become interested in future about my other stuff will be able to see it on some another place, tho even my nice stuff will be hated by some people, but there is nothing that I can do about that. That is how art works, actually, life works like that.

I will again thank to those who helped me or tried to help me. I will try not to cry much more as it's no longer needed now, I am feeling better already and I will try to fix my stuff alone from now on. And those who think I never fix anything are wrong, but that is not my problem anymore. I will try to help other people here as they need it more than me. I still love my family even when everything is so far from perfect now.

 

[LightAlgur]

You meditate everyday right?

 

[High Priest Zevios Metathronos]

My artworks will not be displayed here until I don't draw something that is suitable for this place actually. This is about life and light, not about freaky dark stuff tho I didn't tried to put bad energies in that drawing but okay, I understand how people tend to pick bad vibes from me.

Those who maybe become interested in future about my other stuff will be able to see it on some another place, tho even my nice stuff will be hated by some people, but there is nothing that I can do about that. That is how art works, actually, life works like that.

Your artwork is creative and extremely beautiful, let me tell you.

Also, screw people who get to you because you asked help and/or advice. The people who don't do this are wronging themselves, and are silent to their own detriment.

Art is open to interpretation, too. Your portrait may have been sad, but it is an expression of how you felt and it was creative.

I want to see artwork, so if you have anything. Your art is also created by yourself, it's not plastered together. Yaoke Haoshi and a few other people also had great art done, and I think you definitely have a talent. Also, you ought better "Copyright" your artwork, in a sense that you put a signature and publicize it somewhere where it is safe and obvious that it's yours.

 

[LightAlgur]

At least she or he has the balls to seek out for help. Commendable.

If life can be described as a roller coaster. Is it better or worst to ride alone?

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

I like that picture! You did a great job, just some people like different things.

 

[Azorm]

My artworks will not be displayed here until I don't draw something that is suitable for this place actually. This is about life and light, not about freaky dark stuff tho I didn't tried to put bad energies in that drawing but okay, I understand how people tend to pick bad vibes from me.

Those who maybe become interested in future about my other stuff will be able to see it on some another place, tho even my nice stuff will be hated by some people, but there is nothing that I can do about that. That is how art works, actually, life works like that.

Your artwork is creative and extremely beautiful, let me tell you.

Also, screw people who get to you because you asked help and/or advice. The people who don't do this are wronging themselves, and are silent to their own detriment.

Art is open to interpretation, too. Your portrait may have been sad, but it is an expression of how you felt and it was creative.

I want to see artwork, so if you have anything. Your art is also created by yourself, it's not plastered together. Yaoke Haoshi and a few other people also had great art done, and I think you definitely have a talent. Also, you ought better "Copyright" your artwork, in a sense that you put a signature and publicize it somewhere where it is safe and obvious that it's yours.

Thank you very much. You made me really happy and emotional..again x)

I am trying always to work on myself and on my talents. I have some weird fire that keeps pushing me to work more than others so I'm trying to draw and paint at least when I feel it too much in me. My fire is being pushed outward in this way, which is important for me if I want to stop it from burning me and destroying me from the inside ( you said something similar to me before). I mean, I must learn to control my fire even more, but my art is helping me in that. I was afraid tho that most of people will be repulsed by my art here, so I was thinking I maybe should share it somewhere else if somebody wants to see it. I will put my signature on it too.

I will share my art then later. All of my art is really weird tho, it's full of weird energies and in most cases I drew some spiritual stuff. I don't need references actually so much or at all, I am using my visualisation and I am keeping the picture in my mind while drawing somehow. I'm drawing like that since I was a kid. I have lot of artworks to share, even portraits of the Gods. I will try to be more confident somehow... Thank you again...

 

[Azorm]

Hahahaha… I thought “holy shit, a self portrait?!?!?!!!” and I was right… hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah

if you don't believe me, you can analyze my energies and then attack me…

is what you like to do

I don't want to attack you. I attacked you back then because I had a feel you are attacking me. I am not sensing energies all the time. People should have their privacy here sometimes xD I'm trying not to feel most of the time actually.

Anyways, if I hurt you somehow I am sorry. Btw if you tried to contact me via telepathy it doesn't work most of the time. I don't want everybody screaming and talking to me 24/7. I am not allowing humans to talk to me unless I let them on purpose for practicing it or something.

That is not me there on that picture ofc. I would never put my face here.

 

[Azorm]

I like that picture! You did a great job, just some people like different things.

Thanks...
**blushes***
I guess they do .. :shock:

 

[Aldrick Strickland]

I'm not accusing you of anything. The point is you are just commenting here (and on other places) trying nothing more than to start up beef with other SS by making snarky comments. Asking questions is completely fine, but any idiot could see the passive-aggressiveness in your posts here and elsewhere.

I don't think you are a Yehubor nor do I think you're an infiltrator, atleast most likely. I'd give you the benefit of doubt so to say. But what you are indeed is someone who has serious issues when it comes to talking with others. I doubt I'm the first one to mention (or hint) this to you either. Your posts mainly are composed of short ironic phrases trying to project your own superiority or "muh is special"-ness. This is often done by people when their ego is damaged and they try to artificially inflate it to feel calm and safe again. I've seen lots of people like this.
I doubt you're a bad guy really. You just cant talk properly, which is what I was trying to point out to you with my recent replies to your posts.

Light Algur is doing much better. He is not so aggressive now. Passive aggressive is an improvement. Hes trying.

Hahahah I guess. Maybe he just needs some attention

We all come with our faults. Then without grounding and blowing our mind to the atmosphere, we really go off.

I thought I was actually insane, but with Void, yoga, Alternate Nostril and aura cleaning all sloowwed down.

Im like OH. So this is my mind when im not on spiritual Crack. I feel like I dont even know myself.....

 

[Aldrick Strickland]

I'm not accusing you of anything. The point is you are just commenting here (and on other places) trying nothing more than to start up beef with other SS by making snarky comments. Asking questions is completely fine, but any idiot could see the passive-aggressiveness in your posts here and elsewhere.

I don't think you are a Yehubor nor do I think you're an infiltrator, atleast most likely. I'd give you the benefit of doubt so to say. But what you are indeed is someone who has serious issues when it comes to talking with others. I doubt I'm the first one to mention (or hint) this to you either. Your posts mainly are composed of short ironic phrases trying to project your own superiority or "muh is special"-ness. This is often done by people when their ego is damaged and they try to artificially inflate it to feel calm and safe again. I've seen lots of people like this.
I doubt you're a bad guy really. You just cant talk properly, which is what I was trying to point out to you with my recent replies to your posts.

Light Algur is doing much better. He is not so aggressive now. Passive aggressive is an improvement. Hes trying.

Hahahah I guess. Maybe he just needs some attention

We all come with our faults. Then without grounding and blowing our mind to the atmosphere, we really go off.

I thought I was actually insane, but with Void, yoga, Alternate Nostril and aura cleaning all sloowwed down.

Im like OH. So this is my mind when im not on spiritual Crack. I feel like I dont even know myself.....

 

[SdD]

HPHC

About "Copyright", do you know of a site or sites that can be used in court to prove your design in a future problem?

———————666

Shael, …

I saw from the painting that she has talent, I liked the coloring, but I am not obliged to like what she projects and copies on the board!!

 

[LightAlgur]

An attack is a curse or direct physical contact which causes damage to the physical body

Perhaps I have different standards of what an attack is.

If some one thinks a post filled with words is an attack then, in my honest opinion, shouldn’t be giving any advice on a stranger’s psyche.