Regarding Elements ( questioning my experience)

[ChaosBringer666]

whew, that's a relief I was really worried I got it wrong. it was really strange to me as well because it was literally for a second and she said "can you help me with something?" two things I for sure know is she wanted me to tell you something and that you didn't need to try harder, but need is specific. Nobody needs to try harder we just do it for the best results. remember to pace yourself though and put efforts into void meditation first. like I said I was quite worried that I was wrong. but after I sent it I did feel a pleasant feeling so I did something right, the fish thing is kinda funny too. Just as well i asked "why me?" said "well it'd be good for you too because then you know if your communications are satisfactory or not." I am kind of curious are you going through some kind of personal trouble?? you don't have to go into details of course but I want to know if I got it all correct or just most of it since the enemy was trying to interfere. perhaps it was "bide time" or the trouble was simply void meditation.

Brother, you seem to me like you're pretty good at communicating with Demons. The message you delivered to me was so very welcome, and I too believe it was to "bide time". It either makes sense and while I looked up the meaning of 'bide' to see if there was something else it could mean I had some more signs here and therr suggesting that was the word She referred to. I thought about 'buying time' but I really couldn't wrap my head around it. To bide time makes much more sense to me, bringing my mind back to that 'swimming down' meditation going within.

I just complained on my other reply to you that I could only see Leraje once so far, but I know She has definitely been active and concerned about me. Maybe the astral sight will simply come later and I should focus on using other ways to communicate with our Gods for the time being.

Something I read today, extremely briefly and paying no mind to it as I did, in one of the pictures on the folder I deleted (where my ex's pictures were) said something like "good things happen to those with the courage to follow their heart".
This sounds blatantly like an empty slogan of course, but I thought about it and compared it to the 'swimming down meditation' and thought.. what if I swim down to my heart chakra?
I read that some people reported how when they 'exit the body' they do so by exiting through the chest, and now I'm thinking if this isn't related to simply meditating on swimming down to the heart chakra.
I was meditating in bed not long ago and felt my entire soul center suddenly 'shift', the motion of this shift immediately made me think of how a fish swims. That's when I started to draw fish and had those visions of corals and underwater sea scenery.

Today, also, there are moments I just stop and wonder what feels different, like I'm approaching a thinner (or thicker, but not this material) dimension.

As for the trouble, yeah.. it's not a great period, long story short I'm about to lose my grandfather, but I'm more worried about my mother who's always a victim to her emotions, easily getting depressed, not exercising and drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, boasting that alcohol made my grandpa reach 94 healthy so overdoing it must be the key to having a long healthy life. Me, I'm fine. I know I can't make someone aware of the problem unless they want to see it so... shit. I'm just bothered to see how potentially capable gentiles drink themselves stupid when they could do so much more, and reach the end of their days looking like they already have died sometime ago.

Knowing what I know, Brother, I STRONGLY despise weakness of character, and this in turn makes me admire the Gods even more, for their strength, their intelligence, their resolve and will power.

The enemy will pay for this too.

Hail Satan!

I think I figured it out, I think its both. Think about it what do you do when you buy something? You spend. Meaning spend time. which equals spend more time with grandfather, how intriguing. I'm really glad too know you think my communications with the gods are good too, I've been wondering about that for a bit, I'm happy you opened up to me, hope your doing alright. Also this conversation has helped me a lot actually its surprising.

if your looking to improve your communications yourself I think I found the perfect working being it on Samhain since its all about communicating with the Gods and if I looked at the right calendar you actually have moon it Taurus as well personally I'm going to add 88 ansuz to it as well since I can afford to if you can I suggest you do the same if possible. https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=800&p=186487#p186487

Here's to our advancements and I hope things get better for you.
have an awesome week.

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

I think I figured it out, I think its both. Think about it what do you do when you buy something? You spend. Meaning spend time. which equals spend more time with grandfather, how intriguing. I'm really glad too know you think my communications with the gods are good too, I've been wondering about that for a bit, I'm happy you opened up to me, hope your doing alright. Also this conversation has helped me a lot actually its surprising.

if your looking to improve your communications yourself I think I found the perfect working being it on Samhain since its all about communicating with the Gods and if I looked at the right calendar you actually have moon it Taurus as well personally I'm going to add 88 ansuz to it as well since I can afford to if you can I suggest you do the same if possible. https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=800&p=186487#p186487

Here's to our advancements and I hope things get better for you.
have an awesome week.

Since I literally can't spend more time with my grandfather than I already am (he's in a nursing home with rather strict 'Covid rules', we still visit him everyday now but I have, finally, be given all the working shifts I need) I don't think the 'buy time/bide time' relates to that.
I feel I have to use time more wisely, that's for sure. I definitely need to set a stronger routine to do everything (or almost everything, rituals get the top priority anyway) I need to do: Rituals, rituals, I just restarted the 40 Days of Power training from HP Zevios and everything else I need to do, including a new strong Hatha Yoga and Kundalini Yoga regime (yesterday, first day of my new 40 days of power, I clearly felt a ..blockage around the heart, and it wouldn't go away no matter what meditation, exercise or stance I would use.. it needs work).
Also, when I say "working shifts"... my job luckily allows me to have plenty of free time (best job ever lol, I get to draw too! XD ) so I use that time to meditate and vibrate Runes and mantras, even do full Rituals without anyone bothering me. This is why I 'need' to work. At home I wouldn't have time to do all this due to having to deal with my mother and other family bullshit. I NEED my time to work for myself and for Satan and the Gods. Not for nothing, I guess, the very first time I ever saw the one I believe was Astaroth was one morning at work after the initial morning rush when I finally could sit down and have a few minutes between people needing me.

Thank you for the link and the Samhain reference, Brother, but I really suck at astrology.. it's one of the things I know absolutely nothing about. That Inanna meditation though...

I have to work on my back and undoing the lower chakras' bindings, but that gold energy through the psychic chakras in that order sounds like something I'll definitely benefit from. Good thing I became so mentally strong, cuz with all that's been going on this year (and I don't mean just the Covid bullshit but also family stuff) I would be lost if I couldn't pull myself together and do everything.

I do believe Lerajie meant that I have to either organize myself and 'go slow', as in.. don't fret meditations and energy work but really 'get into it' and take my time with each thing I do. I do tend to fret things so that makes sense.

I did the 40 Days of Power once before but kind of lost track of myself during the last part. I did keep up the Yoga for a while, but I was also so mentally lost and stressed with another approaching death in the family (my grandma's) that I was barely able to focus on the important things. The BEST thing I've done for myself in the last few years has been joining this forum. It feels more like family than my real family sometimes.

Hail Satan!

 

[Apprentice]

PING, brother. You obviously missed my post (quoted below). I miss your replies.

Just wanted to keep you posted. I see you made some great success with discovering your GD. I'm yet to discover mine. I was scouring through the lists of Daemons. There are some suspects who specialize in storms and lightning but as this rat wheel of a life is sometimes too overwhelming, I haven't had a chance to actually start FOCUSING and FEELING it all. Enlil does storms and lightning but I'm more attracted to females. So here I am, absolutely clueless, lol. Today I feel wasted, having worked all weekend. Luckily today is a bit lighter workload so I can recreate a bit. Gonna throw a RC ritual later for good measure.

I actually felt that thing you mentioned about the Gods using us to aid each other. I once replied to you and the words just appeared in my mind, forming coherent sentences.

How are you doing?

I know, Brother, it gets so unnerving.

Actually no, not anymore. I went through a period of anxiety when this whole circus started. I even got a mild cold working my ass off in conditions with large temperature differences in addition to this anxiety. At one moment you are all hot and sweaty, open the zipper on your coat and the next moment you get a cold wind against your chest.
However, I do remember clearly that when the emergency was declared, I was told in my mind that you don't need to worry.

I used to go home from work half depressed after being laughed at by complete fools, knowing they're just not ever going to get it.

I guess we both should stop misplacing our compassion and caringness. I still care about some people who seem partly awake but even they have their own limitations/blockages. Although lonely, life is much easier when you are in full stealth mode.

I finally have accepted/found my Guardian Demon, something that now makes complete and perfect sense in hindsight, recognizing Her signs and attempts to reveal Herself to me.

I'm happy for your success. I'm yet to find mine. Today, after reading your last reply to me, I felt that the situation is about to change in that regard.

And Brother... if you ask me I'd say someone VERY involved with electricity and lightning specifically has been protecting you for a while. These experiences you had with lightning don't sound to me like 'coincidental' at all... it feels more like a Demon who has a talent for storms to have been watching over you, and possibly giving you all kinds of hints for you to notice them and find out their name (if you don't know who your Guardian is).

What I didn't tell you is that when that powerful lightning struck near that cabin of ours, there was a small night lamp on the floor. The foot of that lamp was made out of approx. 6 mm chromed steel rod, bent like a perfect circle. The small bulb of that lamp together with the socket flew into a bed I was laying in during the storm. The foot of that lamp cut out a perfectly round piece of plywood that was covering the floor. It looked like a laser cut. The charge hit my parent in the leg, jumped around the cables that were on the floor, finally finding a way out into the cellar cable. That light bulb in my bed... Was it a message, already back then when I was just a kid?
The peculiar thing is, I don't feel threatened in the presence of a lightning storm. Am I a bit afraid in the common sense? Yes - after all we are talking about a power so ineffable it can bake you way past 'well done' in a matter of split second.
I haven't checked yet to feel who ‎is closer and who's not. I have skimmed the lists of Daemons many times. At first glance I don't see anyone involved with electricity. According to the lists in JoS, Zeus and Satan are different beings. You see, I'm also cautious not to become delusional so I really can't say yet. OTOH, maybe I'm just being blind to obvious signs.

I feel you may very well have made that extra step, where your inner energy, your Soul, has more to give through your body and physical efforts

And yet I'm still wondering what that would be what I have to give to this world. Maybe I'm still in the 'making of' phase.

To wrap this up I'll give you a bit of listening. I found this track many years back and still love it. It plays on the loop when I'm working on a computer and need to concentrate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46hSmJhXPyI

 

[Apprentice]

Sorry Brother, looks like I really missed that one.

The problem was that many posts got approved in somewhat of a random order. This meant that posts appeared in-between already approved (and replied) posts. Don't worry, I felt that I needed to ping you

Listening to that track you sent me, I like the beginning where the storm underneath is only accompanied by a few piano notes.. the people tend to bother me, although I can get someone speaking in what I assume is Greek, as well as some somewhat familiar Greek music, which brings me there again and again...

The artist hails from Sweden, so the samples from various TV programs, movies and commercials are in swedish. I actually like the TV in the background in this track. Sort of like a white noise, aiding in focusing.

yes, it's SO much easier being in stealth mode all the time, Brother.

No shit? I confirmed the very same fact on this weekend. I was in stealth mode, speaking to different people I had never met before. I never reveal my real colors because I can clearly see how deluded most of the normies can be even if they suspect something is wrong with the world.

I can almost hear Aquarius' thoughts echoing "deluded... deluded.. deluded..." lol.

Aquarius can be painfully blunt... but the idea is to avoid delusions

It's not like I believe I'm going to have a sexual relationship with Leraje, of course (much as I'd like that lol)

Make it a platonic love! It's totally OK. I do love my GD although I even don't yet know his/her name. LOL.

There was a time I thought Raum was my guardian...

I'm thinking about Enlil because, although I prefer females, He commands the Lightning but is of Element of Fire. It is also an interesting numbers game: he commands 66 legions of spirits and I'm seeing 66 everywhere (in addition to 555, 444, 888 and 666). I really don't know. Guess I'll have to file it in my 'wait and see' folder.

When I read the rest of Her description I was astonished. Air Element, Weather changing powers (you have that too, right Brother?), and She teaches about medicine and healing.. my greatest magick success was of the healing kind, so I had not many doubts left that SHE was my Guardian.

Yes I have some talent for weather, Brother. Healing? Fuck me, you made me remember that I've done that, too! I've been unsure in the process but I've managed some things, yes. In addition, many years ago, my child was sick of common cold. I was hugging the child in the evening and intentionally, in my mind, took the sickness into me to help the situation of the child. The aftermath was that I became sick as a dog and my child got better. NOW I know that one should never take a disease into oneself.

because I could see the sigil but it was kind of 'obscured', like negative energy was blocking it from coming to me. Fucking greys, I believe.

Not only those effin' greys but your own hangups/impurities, too!

Whoa.. spoke about Her a lot, didn't I?

Not really. I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing!

I suggest you browse the Demons' list again, just the female ones, and see if anyone catches your interest in some ways. The tarot card, the Element, the skills... something. Then just leave it be for a time. When I was unsure about one that I thought could be my Guardian, I void meditated on Her and asked if She was the one. If I had less than zero answers it was possible She was not the one.

Will do. So far I've looked for the Planet, Element and skills. In addition to a 'familiar' feeling.

the first one I have done this with was Leraje and I DID feel something, definitely something. Like an 'immediately attempted bridge construction', to put it into words (I had almost forgot about that). This was a STRONG sign that She was the one. I was just always too stupid to believe it and accept it as Truth.

I'm glad for you. I haven't felt such a sensation yet. Maybe I'm too afraid of becoming delusional that I actually impede myself?

The sad part is that the last 7 days have been hectic again. I had to pull long working days with not enough time to regroup & refocus. I even missed a day in group rituals and I'm not proud of this. I also lost the feeling that some miraculous discoveries in my personal evolution are about to happen.
The good part is that I'm still holding my position and going all-in nevertheless. However, I have to avoid burnout. Been there, done that and the free T-shirt, you know. I hope the coming week is a bit lighter work-wise.
I wish you all the best. Take care, Brother.

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

Sorry Brother, looks like I really missed that one.

The problem was that many posts got approved in somewhat of a random order. This meant that posts appeared in-between already approved (and replied) posts. Don't worry, I felt that I needed to ping you

Listening to that track you sent me, I like the beginning where the storm underneath is only accompanied by a few piano notes.. the people tend to bother me, although I can get someone speaking in what I assume is Greek, as well as some somewhat familiar Greek music, which brings me there again and again...

The artist hails from Sweden, so the samples from various TV programs, movies and commercials are in swedish. I actually like the TV in the background in this track. Sort of like a white noise, aiding in focusing.

yes, it's SO much easier being in stealth mode all the time, Brother.

No shit? I confirmed the very same fact on this weekend. I was in stealth mode, speaking to different people I had never met before. I never reveal my real colors because I can clearly see how deluded most of the normies can be even if they suspect something is wrong with the world.

I can almost hear Aquarius' thoughts echoing "deluded... deluded.. deluded..." lol.

Aquarius can be painfully blunt... but the idea is to avoid delusions

It's not like I believe I'm going to have a sexual relationship with Leraje, of course (much as I'd like that lol)

Make it a platonic love! It's totally OK. I do love my GD although I even don't yet know his/her name. LOL.

There was a time I thought Raum was my guardian...

I'm thinking about Enlil because, although I prefer females, He commands the Lightning but is of Element of Fire. It is also an interesting numbers game: he commands 66 legions of spirits and I'm seeing 66 everywhere (in addition to 555, 444, 888 and 666). I really don't know. Guess I'll have to file it in my 'wait and see' folder.

When I read the rest of Her description I was astonished. Air Element, Weather changing powers (you have that too, right Brother?), and She teaches about medicine and healing.. my greatest magick success was of the healing kind, so I had not many doubts left that SHE was my Guardian.

Yes I have some talent for weather, Brother. Healing? Fuck me, you made me remember that I've done that, too! I've been unsure in the process but I've managed some things, yes. In addition, many years ago, my child was sick of common cold. I was hugging the child in the evening and intentionally, in my mind, took the sickness into me to help the situation of the child. The aftermath was that I became sick as a dog and my child got better. NOW I know that one should never take a disease into oneself.

because I could see the sigil but it was kind of 'obscured', like negative energy was blocking it from coming to me. Fucking greys, I believe.

Not only those effin' greys but your own hangups/impurities, too!

Whoa.. spoke about Her a lot, didn't I?

Not really. I loved reading this. Thank you for sharing!

I suggest you browse the Demons' list again, just the female ones, and see if anyone catches your interest in some ways. The tarot card, the Element, the skills... something. Then just leave it be for a time. When I was unsure about one that I thought could be my Guardian, I void meditated on Her and asked if She was the one. If I had less than zero answers it was possible She was not the one.

Will do. So far I've looked for the Planet, Element and skills. In addition to a 'familiar' feeling.

the first one I have done this with was Leraje and I DID feel something, definitely something. Like an 'immediately attempted bridge construction', to put it into words (I had almost forgot about that). This was a STRONG sign that She was the one. I was just always too stupid to believe it and accept it as Truth.

I'm glad for you. I haven't felt such a sensation yet. Maybe I'm too afraid of becoming delusional that I actually impede myself?

The sad part is that the last 7 days have been hectic again. I had to pull long working days with not enough time to regroup & refocus. I even missed a day in group rituals and I'm not proud of this. I also lost the feeling that some miraculous discoveries in my personal evolution are about to happen.
The good part is that I'm still holding my position and going all-in nevertheless. However, I have to avoid burnout. Been there, done that and the free T-shirt, you know. I hope the coming week is a bit lighter work-wise.
I wish you all the best. Take care, Brother.

I'll be brief, Brother, as I still have rituals to do today and not enough time.

Yeah, you're right about the notifications and messages, I see that we've been under attack as well (the main JoS in English, I still see all in the Italian website, and I have everything saved anyway), I'm also pretty sure I did miss someone else's answers and quoted posts.

I did miss a daily group ritual just yesterday.. it was my grandfather's funeral (who died DURING this offensive.. I'll leave speculations to those who care for them). I had literally not enough willpower to stay awake and do the Wealth Ritual, just managed to do an Ritual with quite a bit of effort mentally, but it also led me to a trance as my determination was stronger than before, I just didn't want to skip it. Haven't skipped a day for Rituals since January when I started doing them.

As for your Guardian, and possibly everything else you do and try to/want to accomplish, you DO probably just impede yourself to reach it. I'm starting to see how I was never going to see.. or rather, accept my Guardian unless someone else told me -yes, you're right, it's Her- ever knowing She had given me all those signs. I guess in the end (especially for us Air people perhaps) the real blockage we have is not allowing ourselves to move forward because of our fear of accepting our instinct (trusting Water, perhaps) which has probably more chances to grasp the answer we long for rather than our never ending thinking head.

One other thing that I believe truly important, and that I don't remember saying to you in particular I guess, is that it would probably help you to ask yourself how you personally think of the Gods and how you relate yourself to them. Meaning (mostly), do you think of the Gods as ethereal/incorporeal beings that live far far away and are unreachable? Or do you think of them as very physically existing individuals who also happen to be perfectly in tune with every other energy and dimension there is? Because I did notice a lot of times how I made the mistake of ...I'm gonna use a very bad word here.... "christianize" our Gods. Thinking of them in terms of otherwordly beings that are out of my reach.
And I DID notice a change after I started thinking, especially of Leraje, that they are corporeal beings, with a body and warmth and life and a faultless biology in them.

I think one of the things xtianity preaches a lot about is the impossibility of its foolish followers to ever reach their 'god', creating an absolute barrier between them and 'it', so that they learn their place and accept their miserable state, and even come to think of it as a blessing in their distorted, sick way of looking a things.

We're Satanists, we're COMPLETELY different, so even the way we relate ourselves with our wonderful Gods and the way we think of them should be completely different.

To give you one example (since my examples more often than not work with you), lately I have become more aware of scents. I recently realized I'd just start picking off scents from pictures of people, of pencil drawings, I could tell what metal a necklace was made of from the scent, and I vaguely started to get the scent of my Guardian. It's starting to get so easy it's like a second nature that was always there, ready to become fully available, and now it's that time it seems.

Maybe you could try perceive Demons' scent too? Try with Father Satan, He smells really reassuring, confident and safe.

Last thing for now...

You surely know that by now, we're not meant to be healing others by taking the sickness away from their bodies and into ours. I know that a child is a priority of course, but it would help much more if you could just learn how to send that sickness away, on the "ethereal thread" (like my Wushu master once put it after describing how we can use Qi Gong to extract the negative energy from someone and send it away on such thread).. OR you can send it to someone that deserves it.

I have a feeling you might be very good with healing. Don't know why, I just feel that hunch. And because I lately truly realized how death feels like.. or how it feels like to me, that is -it feels like nothing at all, a complete absence of energy- I wanna tell you this. There's much more power in life than in death energy, meaning, if you want to truly damage someone then use life, bacteria, viruses, something inside them is already your weapon against them, much like one could say of the 70% of the body being water, were one a good cryokinetic.
This, at least, is my personal understanding... it might be real or not, but it does makes sense to me (Leraje can heal but also cause wounds and sicknesses to deteriorate and destroy, so that makes perfect sense to me). I hope it'll be of good use to you too.

Got rituals to do, talk soon Brother. Take care of yourself.

Hail Satan! Hail Leraje!

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

....

Hug received and appreciated, Brother. Thank you. (Late night here, post rituals, I'll be quick hopefully.)

The constant need for external confirmation sounds terribly familiar indeed, I hear you. The downside of this is always the same, one basically 'cannot' achieve anything without someone else either praising one's efforts or pointing the way that's supposedly best to follow. This in turn creates more problems, because one doesn't learn how to choose his/her own path and the choices are made by others, so I'd say "use this external confirmation only when you're pretty sure you're something like one step away from the provocation and the extra help from someone else would more than likely be an overkill in your own ability to choose wisely". When I was told by Ghost that Leraje is my Guardian I didn't hear that for the very first time and simply accepted it as one would an unexpected compliment or such.. I had been wondering if She was or wasn't the one for over one year already, I just needed that little something that would make my reluctance in seeing She was the one something to dispose of and embrace completely what I felt was right and had been right for a while already.

That said, I really don't think you should feel uninterested in someone who's got healing abilities as their trademark as this seems to be something you definitely can do.
I learned to see these little things as the important ones the tend to prove themselves to be, it's pointless to deny one's own assets and talent for something specific, even if we don't necessarily find that skill oh so interesting or amazing and so on. I used to make never ending lists of "all powers" I could think of, all the members of the "-kinesises" family and so on, including the most exotic ones and those that one would think of simply as physical impossibilities... then I'd start slicing the words off my list and see what was really sticking there for me. Needless to say, "Healing" and "weather changing powers" were always present and this became appallingly clear when I read Leraje's specialties and compared Her to all other Demons and Demonesses (not wanting to trust the "it must be a female because I'm a straight male" rule).

I also understand why you may not want to follow that rule as well, quite possibly you're reasoning in the same terms I have been thinking of too. "What if He's a He and I'm just shutting them all out because I think She's a female?" I thought of Raum as one of the first ones to really pick my interest back then, when I was a newbie who wanted badly to find his Guardian's name and having no clue where to even start, but when it really comes to it, you gotta think: just picture yourself there, wondering about something and trying to understand a meditation or something else and asking your Guardian to help you and guide you. Who's that one you're imagining? A male Demon? A female? Which sex would you honestly be more comfortable with?
I've always strongly preferred a female figure close to me, even as a completely non-sexualized companion or teacher, and felt a male just wouldn't quite cut it (unless it's Father Satan, somehow I feel so comfortable with thinking of Him and every time He appeared to me or helped me somehow).
Find the answer to your own desires and you'll be one step closer to your final answer. I came to believe that, in the end, all that you're meant to find is somehow calling you, leading you there in the same place, for you to find it/Him/Her. Let them lead you, just don't overthink it. Thinking too much will prevent you from hearing the calling and you'll possibly take a wrong path.

Speaking of how the Gods live still too far and we tend to think of them as unreachable, even if we have people who normally converse with them and work closely with them, this is unfortunately one of those things I can't help you with... because I know this type of thinking won't get undone simply because I say something. YOU have to see things differently yourself. Meaning, the way you're looking at things now, the universe, the places in which we are and the Gods are, and the laws of 'quantum physics and magick', is not a way that will lead you to them or have you suddenly understand what it's like to reach them and do anything spiritual that we desire to do.

With this I'm trying to say... you're probably looking at reality with eyes that don't see ALL the possibilities yet. It's material, it has SOME spirituality in it, some 'miracles', some things you caused, but it's not much more than that. What you NEED is to look at reality in a much different way, KNOWING (/realizing) it is including much, much more than what you think you're able to see right now.

I'll give you a stupid example: sometime ago when I stupidly let someone temporarily push me away from Father Satan with their words and deceiving (which in the end pushed me right back into Father's arms with renewed vigor and dedication, so it wasn't all bad in a way), I was prompted to look at reality like none of it existed. I was told concepts that embraced the literal meaning of 'nothingness' and even now I can treasure that, because only taking away all I thought I had I could see what I really had in front of me. That is, everything and nothing. The reality in front of my eyes (people, buildings, trees, machines, etc) suddenly revealed itself to be almost an illusion, something closer to what game developers would call a 'sandbox', where something had already been placed and for that reason I could see, but that wasn't really there because it was all just energy and it shifted and changed all the time, living and dying and merely existing. Suddenly, I realized all of this universe (because it's all an energetic 'sandbox' in the end) is perfectly able to be manipulated, and that is what we call Magick. More importantly, suddenly I realized how even anyone that is materially far is actually just located beside us, as we can manipulate energy and reach them, heal them, kill them, etc. And if this goes for people on the same planet, it certainly goes for Gods in the same universe as well.
I think that's the same period I got visited by Astaroth (now I know it was Her), as I begun really believing I could see this rest of the universe with my untrained eyes. I became much more serious as a meditator and experimented with different versions of Void meditation, finally succeeding. (This is why that psychopath who tried to fuck me over ended up as an actual helping hand, not realizing she was feeding me information that lead me closer to our Gods in my attempt to discover myself more and more...)

I don't know how much that can help, I hope I conveyed at least part of my message to you and that you'll start seeing what I mean and find it useful. I'm obviously not going to play the bad card that psycho case did on me, I'll just give you all the hints and lessons I learned the hard way so, if there's good hints you can use for yourself, you can do so avoiding the pain I stupidly willingly went through. In the end it made me stronger than I thought I could be and I experienced a lot, becoming wiser. Not without fault, of course, but wiser indeed.

I'd say that motto should be changed a little into something like "if you can't do something properly, then you probably need to change the way you're approaching it". I believe perception changes your skill a lot depending on how much you're getting from it. If you're not seeing the chances you're about to give up on, you'll willingly choose to lose them. And as for "not wanting to do something", if you don't want to do something you're more than likely not going to get it done anyway, right? Just try to be completely honest with yourself and don't give up on something you know you'd like to learn or be able to do just because it feels still too difficult or 'out of your league'. You can. Having seen what I have seen and done what I have done, I don't think there's anything we can't accomplish. (And I'm just going to skip the examples involving the various 'physical impossibilities' here so we don't go too crazy wrapping our heads around that concept...)

I know positive reinforcement usually doesn't work unless you've already succeeded at something by yourself, and no matter how much one may praise your skill level or say they "believe you can do it", you just won't believe it anyway lol... That's why I'm saying you should change the way you perceive things, starting with the way you look at things. We Air people, especially, as you know, tend to think not only too much but also "of the reasons we should fail". Well, don't. You will only fail if you believe you can't succeed, as you'll literally take that chance away from your realm of possibilities. Keep that chance and if anything loose the thoughts that involve your failure. Who says you're gonna fail.. the greys? The fucking enemy? Screw them, they are inferior parasites, WE are the Children of our Gods, and we are made to survive anything and conquer.

Forget you can fail, Brother. Open yourself to the possibilities and you'll do wonders with your own Magick.

Also, I know it's not easy with life at the moment and all that workload. The moment you finally sit down to meditate it probably feels like you know you're going to waste your time because you're too tired, isn't it? Well, change something then. Don't sit immediately after work, take a little more time to relax your body. Do some yoga to stretch your muscles and let those calming endorphins look after you for a bit. Then, meditate. Don't sit up too straight if your back aches from work, pain will distract you constantly. Lay yourself back gently on something, not to the point of wanting to sleep but comfortable enough that you'll want to stay there for a while. Then call Father and ask Him to guide you and find your Guardian Demon. I find it really helps to Void meditate while chanting a sound, something easy to vibrate. It'll help you focus. Just make the sound and 'look'. Or don't look, just wait for it. I'm almost sure you'll get something out of this, it is working for me. If you have time to a full Yoga routine before this, don't tire yourself, just relax your body as much as you can.

And yeah, not a bad idea to masturbate prior to that. Loose the tension and then meditate with a clear mind. Works wonders also to clean your aura. I like to mix techniques when a single something won't work. Yoga + breathing techniques + Void sounds good.
Actually, lately I have had strong signs to use the Single Serpent Meditation, even from Astaroth, but that's a story for my next post. I'll ping you there.

You'll get somewhere, Brother, don't doubt your self.

Hail Satan!

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

PING!
Writing you here as it's quicker.

Do you remember someone's post a while ago where they stated how vibrating the Gods names like a mantra made it easier for them to absorb/learn those Gods' abilities? In that case it was about Raum and the ability to understand and communicate with animals, even wild ones. (Watched part of a video yesterday, facebook keeps sending them around trying to distract people from sharing truth and facts online, where a man was being chased/stalked for minutes by a cougar cat on some mountain and was scared shitless, trying to scare the animal away by shouting and such.. so this post came back to mind.)

After reading and especially upon learning about Leraje being my Guardian from someone else (Brother Ghost in the Machine) after suspecting she was my Guardian for a whole year, needless to say I have tried this method.

I vibrated her name, and I did it again, and again and again. Maybe I've been doing it wrong or something, maybe I haven't been truly believed it would do something, maybe I'm just unable to give as much trust as I want to give to the Gods (we spoke of this too before at some point), but none of the vibrations ever lead me to something. Not a betterment in healing or using wind, not to any further understanding. I'll tell you, Bro, I'm feeling like I'm focusing on the wrong goddess...

And here comes the news.

I don't know if you've already read or missed my last post on the JoS Forum, I speak of how I noticed a strong similarity between the Goetic Dantalian and the non Goetic Hiepacht. Not much is known about the latter, and the little information there is on him feels like it's there merely for academic reasons, for the sake of putting the name down in the list, but knowing full well on HP Pythia's part that there has been too much slandering and corruption in the occult books (the sigils present in the non Goetic descriptions are photos from a paper book) to trust every information 100%, and that if a Zevism will find something trustworthy he/she will report it to the others as another piece of information.

I, personally, find the sigil particularly familiar, BUT strong messages and my own decisions/understanding led me to Dantalian. I even mentioned this in a post between Brother Ghost and I lately, when he mentioned the color yellow and it summoned the dandelion flower's name in my mind.

Long story short, I've been strongly attracted by Dantalian. His abilities have nothing to do with the Elements or healing, but with the Mind and altered states.

What I feel is that while Leraje (whom I saw once, and then saw her sigil almost two decades later) is possibly proving to be difficult for me to work with yet (sounds like the experience I had with Haures, saw her well once, heard her voice, and then never again), I feel a better connection with Dantalian.

And here I wanted to get:
I did try for the past week or so to vibrate his name, and I've been noticing something. Some letters in the name have been repeatedly hitting at the right pitch my throat chakra, and I've also been noticing (especially since I restarted doing Yoga almost daily) how I feel a strong blockage at the height of my heart chakra, suggesting a blocked throat chakra (the second granthi, then).

Also, I have been getting visions while chanting his name in the dark. It's not the easiest vibration as 9 letters require longer and more controlled breathing, but it's also teaching me how to differentiate the D and the T sound (which I had mistakenly vibrated as the TH, ignoring the D's power), and the I (EE) is the one mostly working on my throat chakra.

PS. Fuck... I was imitating a voice the other day and TWICE I felt myself rolling the R!! NEVER happened before.. I felt like I was on the brink of something big, some changes are definitely happening here, and I can't help but believe it's Dantalian's merit, and that I MIGHT have possibly been too quick to believe Leraje was the best Demon to guide a total inept like me.. (ok, no, I know I'm selling myself short, but I feel like an idiot not being able to understand these things at least more easily). I HAVE been trying to vibrate Leraje's name again, but... you know when you're doing something and the moment you start you already know whether or not you'll be successful? It's not even a matter of belief here I think, it's more a matter of having a good look at the odds of success and understanding there's not much to hope for, for now.

Another thing I feel I should mention, if I consider how I should think of Dantalian as a better Guardian for me:
I feel I've probably been giving too much importance to the sex factor, possibly to the point of lying to myself just to fit the instructions on how to find a Guardian.
Mind you, I am completely straight and while I did try to visualize what I would be like if I were gay, the idea felt completely alien to me lol. I do try to put myself in one's shoes as a better way to understand something sometimes, but even if they have the behavior of a monster I don't let it come to me if it's not something already present in my nature.

In this case, as Dantalian is a male Demon, I feel him more like a tutor, a mentor.. like a Mister Miyagi kind of feeling lol, affection and complicity, if that makes any sense.

To be completely honest, also, I do suspect my 'failing' with Leraje (or any female Demoness) is due to my thinking that 'somehow things will lead to sex, or a love relationship more like'. This isn't obviously something I planned and I wouldn't dream of poking Aquarius in the ribs and having him quack "deluded! deluded!" lol.. but if this is a thought I feel present in my mind, then I also know it's only wiser to minimize the ways in which this thought/belief/wrong idea may influence me. This is probably analogous to a student who listens to an attractive female professor all while trying his best to keep his eyes off her tits. If "I" feel I would be disrespectful to a Demoness, then I'm the first to say things should be different. I feel some kind of complicity from focusing on Dantalian, something like what you'd expect from an old childhood friend you used to play pranks with, and I do feel that his teachings and office will benefit me more than manipulating winds and healing. I've done healing before, and as much as I couldn't seem able to do that kind of 'ultimate' healing again, I know it's a very real thing. But I don't want only that to become 'my office' some day. I STRONGLY need someone to help me focus my mind, I strongly need 'Mind skill' help. So I really can't help but believe that I was now twice led to Dantalian for a very good reason.

Just two days ago, after the Rituals and finally being able to sit down on my bed in the dark, I vibrated his name for I don't know how many times, just trying to get it to envelope me in the vibration, or accustomising myself to the sound and energy. I'm pretty sure I was just around number 10 when I started getting visions. What I saw didn't make sense to me in that moment (it was the face of a woman with dark/blueish skin, dark hair and yellow/golden eyes.. if she's a goddess I truly don't know who she might be, other than the common representation of Kali perhaps), but it was enough to suggest this is a good way for me to get in that trance and obtain visions like this.

Dantalian has a very interesting office....
I mentioned before how I'm working on dispelling myself from stupid fetishes that I feel are making me just waste time and sanity, but while I've been trying to 'exorcise' these fetishes by writing stories and giving myself another skill in their place, the one skill that seems to have made it past the bar was literally 'mind control' (which in latin, absurd as it may sound because I dig this, is "govern mens", from which "government" was obvious born). I'd write stories of how I manipulate the mind of enemies, and while I find this strongly dishonorable and wrong when done by the enemy through the materialistic endless amount of manipulation and propaganda, I find this fascinating and even righteous when done by a single individual merely through the power of his/her own trained mind. We have Gods like Dantalian and others who teach this subject, and very clear explanation on how to mesmerize and use the evil eye on our JoS, so I'm pretty sure this ability can be very well used for good. (Just imagine ordering a bunch of Poos to grab their guns and shoot each other... what a spectacle that would be, no? XD)

Anyway, Xmen level powers aside...
I do feel that Dantalian can teach me a lot and also be more approachable than a female goddess. What can I say.. I feel like a demented pervy teen who can't think with his brain but his dick lol, so I'm the one who thinks this solution is best. Sex related thoughts can't distract me while meditating.. at some point I WILL be able to have a relationship with a Succubus and I will definitely go for it, but until then... I'd better work on my perks AND eliminating my flaws, like I've been trying my hardest to do lately, with 75% success at least.

I'll close for now, just wanted to let you in on this latest understanding, hoping this may somehow, in turn, help you understand yourself. We all normally believe we know the things that mostly define us, whether we consider them perks and assets or flaws and obstacles to remove, but the more we understand ourselves, the more we dig in our own mind, the highest the probability of (self)discovering something completely unexpected that will make much more sense and bring us much more satisfaction, happiness and motivation to keep going forward.

Last thing I want to say just came to mind. Hopefully won't take long (I already imagine you scrolling down hoping for this to be quick, Brother! I'll do my best...)

Dantalian hasn't been the only Demon to attract me lately, I can't get rid of the thought that Caim is someone I SHOULD work with too. He deals with animals language and this indeed makes me very interested, but I have to say my interest has been caught (like Dantalian's and Hiepacht's) by his sigil. I have literally no idea what every part of a Demonic sigil means, I only know a little about representation of chakra's granthis, like in Set's sigil and the chakra display in Astaroth's sigil, so I wouldn't know what attracts me and why. Maybe because of this, I tend to believe my guts better than my head for once, and this starting point led me to Dantalian and somehow to Caim (another male Demon I feel as a tutor or mentor).
Also (this the main point of this last part)..
I think we should mainly work with four Demons, one for every Element.
Leraje is of Air and I know a little about Air by now.. she definitely helps with detachment and keeping a cool mind, free from unnecessary emotions
Dantalian is of Water, and Water deals with inner feeling and self discovery, something I indeed need a lot of time doing
Caim is of Fire, and that means clarity in my life, skills that give confidence and power..
and then there's Earth.. I haven't had much experience with Earth Demons.. unless... (let me check again)

...aaand there she is, Astaroth.
I'm pretty sure I saw her at least once, not completely sure about the second time as her physical description is a little different (namely the aura color, I saw it as strong gold instead of blue) but she felt like a 'Second in Command' right after seeing/sensing Father, so I can easily believe it was her Herself.

To think about this that I just wrote you, Brother, it feels natural for me to point out that of the four mentioned ones above, one is more than likely my Guardian.. so this COULD be a way for you to work with your Guardian nevertheless (even if you don't know who exactly he/she is), until you're good enough and figure that out too.

My most sincere thought here, is that when we get to know the Gods, OUR splendid Gods, we won't care much who our Guardian is as this may limit the chances of working with the others and learning from them. They're ALL amazing and great Gods, so we should work with them all and be close to all of them anyway. Many people probably fall in the "Rank trap", thinking their Guardian is more deserving than another to cover the role of guide for them, but I disagree.

This is where I say again "Trust your guts, mate". The LEAST work you give your head to do, the BEST result your Soul will give. Feel it.

VERY LAST THING! (XD Seriously..)

Do you remember anything in your childhood that had particular power for you? A symbol? A shape? An insignia? It may be an advertiser's sign or a brand of dishwashing soap. If there is something, you know it. It's there in the back of your mind, popping out and telling you "I'm still here" whenever you see this image again, it's familiar to you and you never parted with it.
I believe it's quite possibly a first contact the Gods make with us when we're not yet ready to understand the bigger picture, like a seed in your childhood. I'm so glad I never parted with it as now it finally makes sense. Never would have imagined, honestly.

Alright, wrote a book lol. I just hope you can find some of this useful somehow, hence why I wrote you in particular.

Take care, Brother, take a break before you get too tired. Don't overwork your body, it's what the Poos try to force us to do, limiting the time to use our Minds and learn from the Soul.

Hail Father Satan Forever!

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

Do you remember someone's post a while ago where they stated how vibrating the Gods names like a mantra made it easier for them to absorb/learn those Gods' abilities? In that case it was about Raum and the ability to understand and communicate with animals, even wild ones. (Watched part of a video yesterday, facebook keeps sending them around trying to distract people from sharing truth and facts online, where a man was being chased/stalked for minutes by a cougar cat on some mountain and was scared shitless, trying to scare the animal away by shouting and such.. so this post came back to mind.)

After reading and especially upon learning about Leraje being my Guardian from someone else (Brother Ghost in the Machine) after suspecting she was my Guardian for a whole year, needless to say I have tried this method.

I vibrated her name, and I did it again, and again and again. Maybe I've been doing it wrong or something, maybe I haven't been truly believed it would do something, maybe I'm just unable to give as much trust as I want to give to the Gods (we spoke of this too before at some point), but none of the vibrations ever lead me to something. Not a betterment in healing or using wind, not to any further understanding. I'll tell you, Bro, I'm feeling like I'm focusing on the wrong goddess...

Vibrating the name of a demon or god does not impart their knowledge or understanding within you, that's not how it works, you don't 'take' the knowledge of a god into yourself, I don't know who said this but it's incorrect.

When I invoke one of the demons or gods for communication even I never 'take in' their mind or understanding, I'm simply allowing them access to implant speech, thoughts, urges among other psychic matters upon me to enable them to get across what they want to say. The demon/god is still separate in mind and individuality outside of you, you don't merge consciousness or knowledge, you simply open a door for them to put things inside for you to interpret and feel. And with invocation you need to be incredibly careful and specific about who and what you're focusing on otherwise you let in something malevolent and there is no point where you will ever be more exposed than when you actually open the doors to your mind, for the wrong kinds of spirits this is where one can be malevolently possessed. I'm incredibly wary with invocation these days.

In addition, vibrating the name of a demon only brings them to your attention with your focus upon them, the actual vibration of their name doesn't do anything. If I vibrate Andras I'm not suddenly going to become a masterful warrior. Usually if you're vibrating a demon/god's name you are focused upon them, this attention, not the vibration, is sent to them and they may reckon you need to communicate with them about something, but at a glance if you're experimenting with vibrations or don't need them, then they don't respond and leave it be.

If I vibrate Andras with the intent of getting his attention, if he's busy or unavailable I won't feel him respond or feel anything return to me, but if he's available and responds I'll feel something 'trigger' in my pineal gland as I focus on him, like a feeling of uplifting emotion/energy or positivity, it feels like a 'yes' response as in "I'm here, you have my attention". I suggest only doing this for a real reason though, I personally have to usually really pick my times because Andras, being Satan's chief guard and head of security, I hardly see him and his high availability comes in phases and intervals in this war, which I greatly respect and understand and usually he sends another demon on his behalf for more troubling scenarios so it's not like I'm left to fend for myself.

If there's something you want to learn or improve upon with working with Air and skills that Leraje has, you can always try asking her for guidance on something that will help you. She's not going to 'implant' the skill or ability upon you, nobody ever independently learns that way, rather she may guide you to see something or show you something of a method or even give signs or a dream explaining or hinting at something or an area you may be lacking in, then from there you apply and learn on your own.

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

I don't remember who said that, from what I remember they claimed that they had had great success getting along with various wild animals after vibrating RAUM for something like 400 days, that somehow Raum's skill of understanding the language of animals had transferred to them.

Won't lie to you, this somehow made much more sense to me than the complete lack of 'osmotic learning'.. I don't think a skill gets transferred/copied to another like it would happen in a videogame or something, but that a link between the god/goddess whose name is vibrated and the one vibrating it is established and it functions as a way to focus on the god/goddess so intensely that part of their office becomes easier for us to understand, we end up being able to somehow glance upon what it makes it so, and so we understand how to replicate it in our own way, which may act as a start for learning how to ultimately master such skills.

One thing that works in this theory's favor is the endless times where the JoS mentions a Demon/Demoness "bestows" a skill. I'm not from English mother language so I had to check again what 'bestows' refers to in particular, and it's apparently only used as 'conferring' and in the sense of 'presenting as gift'. Again, I don't think this is meant LITERALLY as in .. "Hi, I'm Raum, you seem like a nice chap, mate, so here's a nice gift for ya. There, now you can talk with lions and rhinos! How cool is that?" ...that would be absurd lol, BUT I think this refers to what I mentioned above: some better understanding of an office due to one's 'vicinity' to a Demon/Demoness.. after all, is it not very often that a student learns from his/her master/sifu by merely replicating what they see them doing? By vicinity and studying in their presence? Perhaps unawarely using a beginner's level 'Merging Astral Consciousness' in order to feel what it's like to already be, to already know?
I don't think this really differs that much in comparison.. Demons are astral teachers and guides, so vicinity with one of them, in my personal opinion and experience at least, does something to benefit the student/Zevism.

Another thing that I don't necessarily believe concerns the level of how busy a Demon/Demoness is...
I feel this method has really little to do with invocation. You don't invite the Demon/Demoness in with merely vibrating the name, as far as I know at least, but merely use the vibration in order to focus on them without flinching in concentration.

Perhaps one of the reasons I like this method is that I have such a short attention span and my concentration wavers about, and the physical act of vibrating the name acts as a constant effort (and reminder to keep the effort up) in order to keep my attention from wandering away from a Demon/Demoness, allowing me to somehow, I don't know how, reach them in some vibrational way. Think of it in terms of "browsing one's internet profile".. you see them, you learn about them, you understand in a bland way what they deal with in their life. It doesn't mean you necessarily speak with them or distract them from their duties. I don't think Andras would be pissed off if you tried this, if you didn't mean for Him to come to you (just to test this, for instance).. you could always dedicate Him some energy you have in excess as a thank you for the disturbance, if this actually disturbs Him.

So far I haven't been receiving negative feedback from this technique myself.. if anything it's been proving useful to keep my focus and discipline my mind. I managed to 'tune' to an astral hearing frequency (not a scary one with sudden screaming and such, as some, me included, have experienced sometime, usually before sleep when the brain slows down the activity), see visions.. although I doubt it was from a god/goddess for now, but it started to teach me how to 'keep it' up slightly, unlike every other time when I would just see something and it's gone for good the moment I understand I'm actually SEEING something.. that's how frustrated it makes me and one of the reasons I want to learn all I can about clairvoyance and clairaudience, both being skills I've dreamt about since forever (also necessary key factors for the Succubus experience).

One thing I have been noticing in the slightest, as Dantalian's skills involve teaching about arts, is an improvement in my own art (drawing). I've been having the hardest time since trying to put some serious effort in becoming a better artist (something I can't seem to let go of), but yesterday something finally 'clicked' in me and things seemed clearer and somehow easier after a while... the horse in my picture here is mine, and for once I have to say I'm pretty satisfied with my own work, almost to the point of not recognizing it much.

As for not using invocation now, due to this period of increased activity from the enemy, I don't want to seem like I am taking this lightly, but if you constantly protect yourself, do at least a couple Rituals a day (I know you work hard for Satan), and do an Ritual just on yourself to rid yourself of all the bullshit links that could aid the enemy mosquitos entering or messing with you.. I don't think you need to fear unwanted intromissions. You're a proud Satanic warrior, even having Andras as Guardian proves you mean serious business. If something has been happening in your life and the enemy has been particularly nasty with you lately, I just suggest you go ahead and press the Ritual-bomb-of-mass-enemy-destruction and clean your aura with the Sun.

I constantly see how people just blatantly let them in and even completely fail to acquiesce to their existence. You feel like the complete oppose of this, mate. Not to give in to overconfidence is wise, but be PROUD of your Soul's strength.

PS. Something that just came to mind and I thought I should mention it.
I have been listening to some of the older audio sermons from HP Pythia and I found something ..what's the word here.. shocking.
I listened to her voice years ago, always keeping her in mind as THE BEST SPIRITUAL SATANIST I've known in this life, and I was surprised to find her voice different than I was expecting it to sound... kind of bland and 'unattractive', so be honest. For some reason I had believed I would immediately find it as enthralling and sultry as possible lol... but I was apparently inexperienced and easily derailed by mild enemy attempts back then.
Now, however, upon listening to the same audio sermons, I hear a completely different person. I let her voice echo in my Soul and I feel power, a lot of strength, beauty, wit... I can't help but believe I'd fall for her if I ever saw her in person lol.

The point here being: I've changed. What has remained the same throughout the years looks completely different to me now, and it's much harder to trick me into submission or into traps. Never before have I been so proud of being of Father Satan, and never before have I felt so confident and capable, with moments in which I find myself wondering how it is that I still didn't choose to accomplish something like elemental work or more, and immediately understanding how I've not moved onto such trivial matters in favor of a bigger picture, being now more able than ever to step back and look at a canvas that holds many other pieces of information, not just the microcosmos I was used to lock myself into when I wasn't ready to see more.
I feel you've been doing the same as I read about how you outgrew experimenting with cryokinesis, favoring more knowledge and understanding.

I'm saying, Brother, you're more powerful than you realize. To be humble is an asset that propels you to learn more, but remember not to sell yourself short. If you're strong, know you are strong.

Hail Father Satan Forever!

 

[Apprentice]

Thank you, brother, I enjoy reading your posts. You are making progress on your way to your GD and I'm glad for you.

I, OTOH, haven't achieved anything comparable lately. I feel tormented and while the source of it might be obvious to some sensitive outsiders after a brief explanation, it seems that I myself can't pinpoint the exact source of it. Currently I'm totally lost as to what should I do to relieve the situation, I mean besides warfare, AC, AoP and RC.
(I take no drugs whatsoever (except minerals and vitamins), I tried weed a couple of times over 20 years back and that was it. So I'm clean as a whistle.)
There are circumstances and relations I feel are better not described here publicly but, in general, it seems that I'm being tormented through my immediate family in an attempt to make me feel worthless and expendable. In our family business, one could basically work 24/7 and still not get everything done.
The problem is that one is usually spiritually open with immediate family members (wife, husband, children) so this in turn means that any accusals, arguments etc. can go deep and leave wounds. I'm sure you get the drift.
As you can imagine, I have no one to talk to about this. No normie will understand this because there are possibly other, malevolent but invisible forces involved. Or it may just be bad time because of my planetary situation. I prefer to remain grounded and to avoid delusions but I'm lost. I suspect this is a test of sorts, I have to learn something and move on... but what is it that I need to learn? Is it the beginning of an ending in my life, of the old phase perhaps? Fuck knows.

I do hope you're managing to dig up enough time in your day to do all you need and want to.. I know how the physical situation is beyond stressful right now, and right because of that you should also make some time just to cool your head off and stay away from causes of stress and tiredness.

I love the idea, Gods know I want the same thing but in reality, doing that right now might end in a financial trainwreck and a divorce. My ability to put in raw hours like a machine has diminished because of that sleep problem. I'm having it checked, exactly in one week the doc will run a polysomnography.

like a Mister Miyagi kind of feeling lol, affection and complicity, if that makes any sense.

You were the one that made me to contemplate the idea with your previous posts. Although I'm fully straight, I might have a male GD.

Why do we yawn? It's not because we find them boring lol.. it's simply because of a physiological condition that makes you want to inhale more Oxygen.

Yup, exactly that and also yawning is a sign of relaxation. Did you know that in equine behavior, yawning is a sign of relaxing?

As for the Yoga, I'd say feeling sleepy during it is a good sign.

During yoga I feel great. It's after the 15 minute meditation that I start to feel really relaxed and sleepy. I don't feel pain during and after a hatha session but my butterfly diamond pose isn't perfect in that I can't yet get the knees to the floor. I also keep in mind that yoga is not calisthenics - I don't push myself past weak sensation of pain.

I think we should mainly work with four Demons, one for every Element.

I had sort of a hunch some time ago that in reality some of us may be closely related to more Gods.

Do you remember anything in your childhood that had particular power for you? A symbol? A shape?

One thing was a black cast iron figurine depicting Satan with horns and hooves, doing the long nose gesture with both hands. I know now that this is blasphemous and derived from xtianity but back then, as a toddler, it seemed familiar to me. The other thing was also a figurine. It was an eagle with its wings stretched up, standing on a rock. This one glowed in dark after being exposed to bright light (phosphorescence). I really don't recall any other things. When I was a teenager, I once saw a vivid dream. I was standing in a pasture in the evening, it was about to go dark and suddenly a bright ball of blue light landed in front of me into the grass. It was a bit bigger than a tennis ball. I remember feeling strong joy and saying "He is finally here!".
When I was about 10, I saw repetitive nightmares of ghoul faces moving around between shiny black chains hanging from the ceiling in a dimly lit room. I remember I woke up in fear, yelling for help and I still saw the nightmare with my open eyes until one of the parents sleeping within the same room came to calm me down.

Alright, wrote a book lol. I just hope you can find some of this useful somehow, hence why I wrote you in particular.

FFS, quit belittling yourself! Srsly, I actually enjoy your posts.

Take care, Brother, take a break before you get too tired. Don't overwork your body, it's what the Poos try to force us to do, limiting the time to use our Minds and learn from the Soul.

This is what I really want. As for the details, see above.

Sending you love, brother. Look after yourself and stay strong!

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

----

As a quick off-topic matter, I really admire you two communicating so often and learning together here.

Now then, I have a question for you SioF.

One of these days I'm going to have to actually start 'playing around' with magic more. I'm able to do a few odd things here and there, cryokinesis, electrokinesis, soul-splitting, mind reading and other such ilk, but I never cared much for such powers and don't really practice them or try to do them unless I have a good purpose and meaningful reason to, but I reckon that the first thing I might practice with would be the elements.

I've done so as I mentioned already with cryokinesis, I can perform some feats with it but I've never gone full out. I don't know at what point I'll start training, but my first question to you is in regards to this 'tolerance'. Can you describe to me how exactly that seems to work? I'm a very broad guy, typical of 'aether' being all over the place so I have no idea how to really narrow down the question logically so you can answer it more easily as I'm not even sure what I need to know, I'm so used to 'general' knowledge retrieval that specifics come later as the afterthought, not the forethought.

I suppose a good start would be how does it feel to have high tolerance to an element? Say you're trying to warm yourself up with the fire element, as your tolerance grows to the fire element does this get harder to do or easier? Do you have less to worry about when it comes to just going all out to achieve the result of being warmer? Less risk of being burned or causing harm to your physical body? I know the physical body and astral body mirror one another but I'm not sure how a high spiritual tolerance to an element like fire affects the physical body, other than the AoP is there just some 'safety' net in this in that if the astral body can handle it, then it doesn't ever grow to harmful levels upon the physical body like in pyrokinesis? I read on the website someone with high tolerance to fire for instance could incinerate an individual with much lower tolerance but would they themselves just not be affected? Maybe it has to do with direction and focus as well as intent but I don't know yet.

I mean it would kind of make sense, when we run on high bioelectricity we're probably actually able to withstand and survive a slightly higher voltage shock of electricity than other people, because our system is already used to a higher level of electricity to run off of... of course being struck by lightning is a whole matter way out of bounds. But I read from Cobra that the physical body has limits. I'm pretty sure the physical nervous system is stuck at a strict limitation to what it can handle, at least I think so, so I have no idea how the gods have so much power in energy without frying their physical bodies if this is the case. Maybe it does build some kind of 'physical' tolerance but that doesn't seem realistic.... I really wish I had an answer to that question, it's been bugging me for a long time now.

Anyways, I'm not sure how this element tolerance works in the soul. I theorize it works like our bioelectricity. As we exercise and raise our bioelectricity steadily above natural running levels, to raise the 'maximum' that we naturally run off of, therefore have more to work with. Perhaps the elements are the same in our soul, you exercise and slowly raise their 'maximum' level that you naturally run on and just like with high bioelectricity you grow used to high spiritual levels of that element, but you also have more to work with and output like with bioelectricity and energy.

What answers do you got?

 

[Apprentice]

As a quick off-topic matter, I really admire you two communicating so often and learning together here.

Actually, earlier today, I was wondering if you would be willing to chime in regarding my situation as described in my previous post in this very same topic. Maybe you can feel/sense something from above, so to speak, that can be seriously helpful to me. I take no as an answer. I'm just desperate so asking for any help, especially from a fellow Zevism, is worth a shot.

I suppose a good start would be how does it feel to have high tolerance to an element? Say you're trying to warm yourself up with the fire element, as your tolerance grows to the fire element does this get harder to do or easier?

In my experience with Fire, first session gave me major high, great feeling, king of the world. Second (with the same number of inhales) felt like almost nothing.
My theory is that, to become an adept, one has to go by the feeling and push the envelope in a reasonable fashion.

I'm still maintaining my daily Quintessence schedule. I have missed 2 or 3 days but otherwise it's 11 hits daily since... I don't even remember. Have to check previous posts, it's in there somewhere (I don't keep a black book as of yet). Regarding this, I've witnessed that some people don't notice me while in traffic. They try to pull right in front of me or cut me off. Most of the time I'm almost void behind the wheel so this explains it. Also, some people I know don't notice me when walking past them and I'm focused and/or void. They look at me like I'm a total transparent stranger.

I haven't experimented more with individual Elements, only some Fire and Earth. I felt it would be better to not disturb their balance until deeper issues are adressed/cleansed.

Take care!

 

[Apprentice]

I mean it would kind of make sense, when we run on high bioelectricity we're probably actually able to withstand and survive a slightly higher voltage shock of electricity than other people, because our system is already used to a higher level of electricity to run off of...

I forgot to add to that one. I actually do my own electrical wiring installation and maintenance around the household. Once I accidentally touched two contacts that gave me a voltage of 380 V. These were two live surfaces of a busbar. It felt weird but nothing smashing. It left two white spots on my finger.

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

Actually, earlier today, I was wondering if you would be willing to chime in regarding my situation as described in my previous post in this very same topic.

I have no idea what situation you're exactly referring to.

Maybe you can feel/sense something from above, so to speak, that can be seriously helpful to me.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel insulted by this, it's like if someone asked you to do their homework for them. There are no mediators in Satanism, if I'm able to help you then I'm able to help you of my own accord how I should, but I don't deliberately use 'powers' for people or to 'get answers from above' for them.

Perhaps you're just being friendly and open and I can understand a mistake, but just as a future reference. If you tell me what your problem is I can assist you in figuring out solutions for it and explaining how you can help yourself.

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

As it seems to be getting some appreciation, I suggest you read that new post I made on how to unblock yourself. You and I obviously started getting along as we shared this inability to feel energy at all, and getting strongly distressed by this. Both you and I have trying all the meditations we could think of, seeing nothing change. I can tell my 'change' is leading me to something now, so much that I can realize some old messages were messages and I feel some Gods' hints.
This late discovery that led me to Dantalian has been very rewarding I think, as it allowed me to rethink some things that I believed defined me and make sure that I keep away from some mistakes. Now I understand better how 'he knows the human mind and can change thoughts'.. this will deeply improve me, given time and practice.

One of the things that are becoming pretty clear to me, either while dealing with my family and my 'ex grey infested ex' (who now feels cleaner and no longer smells like them, but that I'm keeping at a distance since, although she's improved to the point of reading the Ritual a few times, is not going to rise much higher than that.. pity), is that the enemy knows very well how to coordinate attacks.
Those shits (that I assume are at least as numerous as us Humans, to be coordinating attacks like they do) monitor your life second by second, observing and taking notes, and when they see you're actually about to make some progress or making some progress, they'll strike.. and because you're under Satan's protection, what do they do? Yeah... they use anyone else who is not.. your partner, your child, your coworkers if it's good enough to take a shot at your peace of mind and growth, anyone and anything that they can seem to influence negatively. Think in terms of 'Matrix': "anyone who hasn't been freed by us is potentially one of them". The example in that eye opening movie really fits here.

Sadly, (very sadly, I must add) I am just lately realizing how not everyone can be 'saved'. The eye opener in my case has been my ex girlfriend: I've known her as one of the most psychic people I kept close in this life, and I never believed she would NOT choose to improve, not choose to evolve, NOT CHOOSE FATHER SATAN, above all.

This goes for family members as well, unfortunately. I don't know about your child, as I assume that our offspring HAS GOT to carry at least some of our closeness to Father Satan and will reveal it at some point, but I would say your partner (especially knowing how you already have tried to help someone who truly didn't WANT to be helped, resulting in your own consuming) is potentially someone that can play very much against your evolution.

With this, mate, I'm NOT saying you should stay away from her or welcome a divorce, obviously.
I'm saying.. you can't help anyone but yourself. Those that are around you CAN be helped only be watching you grow and better yourself, and choosing to be inspired and follow your example.

I don't think, judging from what I see around me, that anything else will REALLY work. Lead by example, be stronger, be powerful, be something others will want to gawk at.

"I suspect this is a test of sorts, I have to learn something and move on... but what is it that I need to learn? Is it the beginning of an ending in my life, of the old phase perhaps? Fuck knows."

"You were the one that made me to contemplate the idea with your previous posts. Although I'm fully straight, I might have a male GD."

Speaking of Guardian Demons...
I've had another 'irrefutable' proof of Leraje being my Guardian. And thinking of it.. I hope this will be of some help to you too.
Like I said, I was vibrating DANTALIAN a few days ago, cross legged with my back straight, and I begun having short visions, a face, shapes, ....and I had completely forgot, I distinctly saw a number.
Numbers, like other signs and messages, are as you know something that we, with less psychic abilities than others, occasionally get from Gods in the form of everyday 'something'.. car plate, serial numbers, scale's weight reading, anything really.
What I always, STRONGLY, interpret this to be is the number in alphabetical order of the Demons list in the JoS. I did ask for this before and somehow it led me to Leraje with another number (suggested by my car's Km reader).
So, rather reluctantly and believing this to be probably another something that will distract me from the truth, I open up the first three pages of the JoS' list and start counting.
The first time I somehow managed to count it wrong, I knew this the moment I reached Haures's description, as I knew Her to be the 29th (the number learned in my car, which STILL somehow lead to Leraje later), but I kept counting, thinking I that probably skipping a name was no 'coincidence'.
I end up on Leraje.
At this point I was pretty shocked.. my belief in this truth renewed, the absurd amount of messages telling me to accept Her as my Guardian... but STILL, I decided to do a re-count and see where I was wrong. I count them all again, without skipping one, remembering that some High Ranking Demons like Astaroth have only the link in the list, leading to another page, so I make sure I count them all this time... I reach Haures with 29 and KNOW I'm doing right...
I turn to the next page, the G - M list, and go on... and I'm once again shocked.
I managed to count it correctly, yet somehow I'm STILL looking at Leraje's description!

That's enough, I told myself.

I do feel there's something that links me to Dantalian, but I also very, very well realize that this training, vibrating His name, that I've done and that still led me to Leraje as the only possible answer has been for a very particular reason.
It feels almost like going to the wrong classroom and asking the professor where you're supposed to go for your next lesson, and he says "Oh, young lad, but you're not with me now.. your lesson is with Miss Leraje! Here, let me mark it on your map!" ...makes sense, Brother?

I hope this little event inspired you, I do believe numbers are great information recipients and can point you into the right direction. The thing that is perhaps stopping you, from what I gather knowing you a bit, is that you're probably not wanting to go to any Demon before you have the right answer, am I wrong?
In my case, I felt this something with Dantalian, and I do believe at some point I'll learn and study under Him as well, maybe I already started actually as He (directly or indirectly) pointed me in Leraje's direction with a number, but it STILL was help from another Demon.

You were mentioning Furfur... have you tried meditating and vibrating Her name, see where that leads you? If you're unsure about that, you may even just spend some time (as soon as you're done with the Rituals, as you're 'cleaner' right after in my opinion) vibrating sounds or mantras you feel particularly confident with.. it may even be just single sounds, like the B-B-B-B for the old Crown chakra awakening. You can add a mudra if you want, I don't particularly fancy them honestly as they can lead to distraction, but in this case I used one.. (sorry, can never remember the names, it's the one where you place the back of your right hand's fingers on the inside of the left hand's fingers, palms up, and your thumbs are touching.... XD sorry, hope you get the one I mean, but anything you're comfortable will do).

"Yup, exactly that and also yawning is a sign of relaxation. Did you know that in equine behavior, yawning is a sign of relaxing?"

Didn't know about horses... is it funny that you mention them right after I drew one? (the one in my picture)

"I don't feel pain during and after a hatha session but my butterfly diamond pose isn't perfect in that I can't yet get the knees to the floor. I also keep in mind that yoga is not calisthenics - I don't push myself past weak sensation of pain."

As for the Yoga part.. I know you're used to workout so it's probably less surprising that you don't feel pain during Yoga, I do feel still rather stiff as I haven't been doing it in a while and just recently restarted it (and Kundalini Yoga, and Five Tibetans, mixing them together when I can). If Yoga feels that easy, have you tried to put just a little effort, just past your comfortable zone? It doesn't 'have' to be painful, but the more you get flexible the more your energy flows easier, and if you have much of it already it will more than likely reveal the next existing problem you need to be accessing. Keep raising the bar, don't let the comfortable feeling slow you down.
And yes, again, you might want to add those other two physical exercises.. they SEEM easy, but ...21 Tibetans times 5 can take their toll, let me tell you lol.

"I had sort of a hunch some time ago that in reality some of us may be closely related to more Gods."

I think I've had enough proof of that for myself by now, so I'll repeat myself: if you don't have a clue who your Guardian may be, try popping up in the wrong classroom and ask the professor in charge. I like this example lol.

As for your childhood figurines, statues, dreams, feelings, emotions, memories.... I can't help you on this one as they are intrinsically connected to who you are, so only you can figure them out and if they have any more meaning. The dream though, the horrible one, reminds me of one I had that to this day I think of as 'my first nightmare': I was half buried in the ground and somehow knew that I would sink if I moved even just a finger.. so I did and I sank down. The room contained under the ground looked like a vet's clinic with animal species displayed in posters hanging on the wall, and a door on one side was opposite a non existing wall of darkness that I kept away from. The door opened and an evil looking business woman with a clipboard said I had no choice but to stay there (or something like it, I was a prisoner apparently). I was a child back then, hadn't had MUCH courage obviously, so I felt that sensation of oppression rather ..very strong. I always hated the concept of 'incarceration'.. I tend to think "if you have a problem with someone, challenge them to mortal combat (real combat, not the videogame lol), you have no right to 'incarcerate' them". I can only assume that's one bad dream from which my strong hate for the current 'system' comes from.

However, back on topic, if you don't find anything that seems rather clear in your past, as clear as to resemble something that may tell you who is your Guardian, don't stress about it. My 'hint' was kinda wrong too, it looked like Hiepacht's sigil, which led me to Dantalian, who led me back to Leraje. That's my answer.

Hope these hints help, Brother. Gotta run to work! I'll reply to everything else from Brother Ghost later.

Hail Satan!

 

[Apprentice]

insulted

With English not being my first language, I guess you misunderstood me. This is my fault. There being no mediators is by default clear to me. I'm trying to describe what I exactly meant by 'from above'. Each and every person is naturally within his/her own life. Sometimes it can get overwhelming and one may feel like lost, without a clue or even overwhelmed. Someone from the outside hearing/reading about the situation over a cup of tea can actually get a birds eye view of the situation, hence the expression 'from above', as in 'looking from above'. I'm with my nose in it and I'm sure there are things I haven't noticed like, for example, getting my shit together, needing more cleaning or tuning down the empathy within me especially towards the ones that can actually hurt me emotionally.
As you may have read, me and brother SioF have exchanged advice here before and this has been mutually very helpful. Sometimes when I read his post, I get a strong feeling to give him some specific advice and so does he. We both feel that in these situations, we may actually be guided by the Powers of Hell.
Sorry for the confusion.

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

insulted

With English not being my first language, ----

I understand now.

What kind of troubles have you been dealing with lately that you'd like some advice/suggestions on? I'm sure I can provide something.

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

---

I hope my explanations sound clear and make sense, if you have any doubts or worries, I don't have ALL the answers obviously, but I'll help as I can.

I appreciate the thorough and detailed explanation, I read it all word for word (A 34 minute long read for your interest).

I'm incredibly impressed with the allegories you used because I know precisely what you mean and what you're talking about with each and every one of them, maybe that's the intuition or maybe it's because I use very similar kinds of allegories in the same manner. I understood everything very clearly and it actually coincides and make's very much sense with many things I already largely know with other spiritual sciences.

Your mention of the gods and lightening strikes in that they simply live in a state where they don't believe a lightening strike would kill them along with your 'matrix' concept is extremely reminiscent of my realization to our universal reality in how I've become aware how everything works over time in a sense. If there's one thing my intuition really helps me understand, it's how everything is relational, perhaps that is the 'inner state' of 'The All' or ether.

Our universe, our reality, it's not a virtual simulation, but it's more like a dream translated to the physical realm. Lucid dreams are on the astral, when you become conscious in a dream and you just control everything around you based upon your beliefs, intents, desires, subconscious thought, etc, this is exactly what we manipulate when we meditate and visualize things and intend affirmations, it's all the astral plane in the same manner because technically we're always dreaming even when we're awake.

When we're visualizing something in our head, those 'images' we see, even so hazy and vaguely in some weird distant 'inner sight' is not some kind of physical thing in our head, that is the extension of our psychic conscience projecting onto the astral plane/a 'dream' where we then will with our creative desires to visualize what we want. Physically while awake it's easier to do this because we have grounded control from our primary 'logical' conscience being activate while physically awake, but in a dream it's not so easy and sometimes you need to use a tool like walking through a door to change the scene around you.

In a dream if you believe you can set something on fire with pyrokinesis and actually intend the action to do so, you set it on fire. PHYSICALLY on the material plane if you're strong enough like one of the gods, if you do the exact same thing as if you were dreaming, you set something on fire on the physical plane. Because it's the same matter of directing an intent that the astral energies then very quickly manifest materially on the mirroring plane, merging the two realms very fast. So you're not wrong in that the gods can essentially live life in a way that for us we would deem very similar to a lucid dream. But this means the utmost control over your real intents and learning to turn this connection off and on.

The two realms as we are taught are 'separated', but when we STRONGLY combine the ties of these two planes in our soul, like you mentioned from HP Zevios Metathronos's sermon on the Magnum Opus, the soul-body tie, the closer and closer this tie and merging is to a complete singular thing, the far better your control and direct will of everything around you is. I have been studying and scrutinizing this for the past week as I keep seeing signs regarding yoga, the heart chakra, harmony, and I keep recalling this factor of the soul-body tie where this harmony is perfected and the mind is the reality and the reality is the mind, all as one whole construct.

When I do yoga and affirm in my soul this harmonization, this tie, when I really devote attention to merging this mind-body concept and MEAN for my soul and body to work together and totality like this, my upper and lower chakras to combine as one whole power via the heart chakra, directing energy and meditations is insurmountably easier to do like a lucid dream that I have very real control over, it's far more real and my desires are more easily exacted and achieved. This is because this lessens the 'scattering' of the imaginary factor of our mind that extends beyond our conscious will without our consent, you could be afraid of something and say "I don't want to be afraid of this, why is this happening, I know I have the power to stop this, why does my mind keep thinking this, the fear is not real" and no matter how much you try to confirm that reality, it doesn't hold to it, because it's being empowered by the 'cloud you can't physically grasp' of your imagination and you only fuel it with your belief, there's nothing holding it down because that harmony and tie with the lower chakras is loose and weak, it can't reach the cloud.

But when this mind-body tie is stronger with the total connection of the two realms and two sides of the soul chakras, upper and lower, your desire of "I don't want this" becomes more REAL and the imaginary fears react to this and stop in accordance to this, because this tie solidifies the realness of your mind and your control, your discipline. That cloud is now something solid that you can grasp, change, manipulate, it doesn't slip through your fingers where you can only cry out to it, you can actually change it's form now, the grip of the lower chakra now harmonize and tie with the upper creative mind and exact the true will you desire from the achieved control, and it is the heart chakra that helps facilitate this.

Now on another note, I noticed you saying 'the aura easily just absorbs the element faster and faster and this can be dangerous as it will keep going further than you're used to'. In this case I know your problem. You've only ever learned to program and train your mind in building up the 'intake' action, but how often do you train with "stop"? How much to you exercise and strengthen the muscle of your 'off' switch? Discipline? The effects of which when you say 'no' it works and powerfully so? I think you should practice this as it's the same principle stated somewhere on our website, that learning to do something is half the battle, learning to NOT do it, is the other half.

Also you've been mentioning this 'inability to feel' energy a lot for a while now. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. I run on high enough bioelectricity to make someone's hand start trembling from their nerves being overcharged from a mere brief handshake, but I never feel this energy, I don't feel energy around me passively or 'bioelectricity' in the air, I can only 'know' of energy if I turn my attention to it, but I have to turn my attention to it in the first place.

What exactly are you expecting when you mean 'feel energy'? What do you think is how it's supposed to work? When I work with white-gold energy to clean my soul and aura, I don't 'feel' anything like a buzz in the air or tingling sensations, I might feel warm but what I do feel is a sense of relief as the energy works to get rid of filth and dross negatively holding me down, the 'air' feels more positive and the colours of the world feel more bright and happy like a chipper sunny day in the neighbourhood, I don't really 'feel' it like an element. Perhaps you just need to change you perception of feeling energy, the closest thing to the 'feeling' you seem to be referring to is nothing more than 'looking' at it and being 'aware' of it's presence there, but you don't get any kind of special sensation.

Energy like red, blue, green are factors that can 'change the environment' of your soul and other energies around you, and this is a much more subtle nature than the 'torrential waves' or the 'storm' of an element in this 'environment of the soul'. It's a wispful subtlety like slowly brightening a room with more light almost unnoticeably but you notice in emotion in that you feel more happier with how bright like a sun it is in the room. You pretty much only notice the effects of energy by how it makes you emotional and intuitively feel in your soul, perception or how you read it from the surrounding 'vibe' of your environment.

I've had stifling negative energy sit and waft around in my room after a cleaning of my soul or if I was dealing with negative emotions, and if I ignore it and leave it floating around, the entire vibe of the room makes me feel like shit, like I don't want to be in the room. It feels 'off', depressing and wrong. But if I build up a wall of white-gold energy to push out and destroy those negative energies and clean out the room on the astral plane, replacing it with positive energy, the mood takes a complete 180. Once my room is clean and tidy on the astral plane, free of the negative energy and replaced with positive energy, I feel safe, happy, uplifted and it feels great to be in the room like a safe haven and positive sanctuary.

It really baffles me with fascination how this works because I can't actually 'physically' see on the astral the bad energy lying around, but my subconscious can see it and I still react as if I could see all the filth floating around me even though I don't, all I see is empty air, it's just an expanded awareness of it's presence in the room, I recognize that something is around me and negatively affecting me psychically in perception of the room, I 'sense' the energy and the vibe like I do with people I meet.

Anyways, once again thank you for the detailed response, I appreciate the time you took to writing it and answering my questions, it's very informative.

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

I'm not surprised if you're somehow familiar with these allegories and examples. The perhaps surprising things at this point (if this would still surprise me at this point lol) is that while I wrote my post I learned/relearned something about myself, and especially while I read your answer, a lot more made so much sense it seemed blatantly obvious.

Before anything else, when you talk about the 'dream'.

"Our universe, our reality, it's not a virtual simulation, but it's more like a dream translated to the physical realm. Lucid dreams are on the astral, when you become conscious in a dream and you just control everything around you based upon your beliefs, intents, desires, subconscious thought, etc, this is exactly what we manipulate when we meditate and visualize things and intend affirmations, it's all the astral plane in the same manner because technically we're always dreaming even when we're awake."

There was a point in time back in 2018 (overall a very bad year for my family and for me personally) when I thought very deeply about a concept very similar to this, more prompted toward the 'virtual simulation on an unknown/misunderstood energy level', and one day I felt I was awake, while I was awake. Simply sitting in my car in a parking, not sleeping, and everything before me felt 'fake', if you know what I mean. That's when I first realized this 'reality' that we constantly witness is just the very outer layer of a very thick wall, separating us all from absolute understanding and knowledge.

"When we're visualizing something in our head, those 'images' we see, even so hazy and vaguely in some weird distant 'inner sight' is not some kind of physical thing in our head, that is the extension of our psychic conscience projecting onto the astral plane/a 'dream' where we then will with our creative desires to visualize what we want. Physically while awake it's easier to do this because we have grounded control from our primary 'logical' conscience being activate while physically awake, but in a dream it's not so easy and sometimes you need to use a tool like walking through a door to change the scene around you.

In a dream if you believe you can set something on fire with pyrokinesis and actually intend the action to do so, you set it on fire. PHYSICALLY on the material plane if you're strong enough like one of the gods, if you do the exact same thing as if you were dreaming, you set something on fire on the physical plane. Because it's the same matter of directing an intent that the astral energies then very quickly manifest materially on the mirroring plane, merging the two realms very fast."

Sorry for the long quote, but perhaps you need to re-read your own words. Not meaning to state anything wrong obviously, quite the contrary. I feel you've had an EXTREME moment of clarity and want to make sure you savor it again, letting it sink in as much as possible.

What I just gained from this is a crazy duality: while in dreams (when lucid enough to make things happen with just our willpower) we have the Power to do so, in the waking state we are grounded and have Clarity, but in neither of them we normally have BOTH.
Once we learn how to make them BOTH clash, we can use godlike powers. And I'm not saying this while merely thinking of a lucid dream (which may still serve well as a divinatory ground, for instance) but also referring to this, the waking state, in broad daylight, where we may feel powerless compared to that dream where we could fly or use pyrokinesis and were absolutely confident our will was the law.

And sure, let's add the power that comes with training, with power meditations, with unblocking chakras and all that... but in the end, I'm thinking without THIS link, even a very strong Soul could be blind to what the possibilities really are.

This, obviously, in a strong/unblocked Soul would more than likely cause something to happen to let the individual know how to perform these feats of power... but I'm thinking this concept I re-realized because of how you put it must be very well understood.

"So you're not wrong in that the gods can essentially live life in a way that for us we would deem very similar to a lucid dream. But this means the utmost control over your real intents and learning to turn this connection off and on."

Absolutely. Perhaps we're just too used to call 'alertness' and 'attention' or 'focus' as things that belong in the waking state, very far from dreams and the sleep state levels that allow one to enter otherwise inaccessible parts of one's mind.
Perhaps, the 'dream state' is much more descriptive for someone who has mastered his/her mind and has become a God/Goddess. The Human brain not for nothing is so clearly divided into two very different hemispheres, the logical left and the mysterious, unmapped and undiscovered right. Perhaps the only point of having two hemispheres was to underline the importance of uniting them through advancement of the Soul/Body link.

"You've only ever learned to program and train your mind in building up the 'intake' action, but how often do you train with "stop"? How much to you exercise and strengthen the muscle of your 'off' switch? Discipline? The effects of which when you say 'no' it works and powerfully so? I think you should practice this as it's the same principle stated somewhere on our website, that learning to do something is half the battle, learning to NOT do it, is the other half."

Perfectly savvy words, Brother. I have focused so much intent on absorbing that I find it hard to stop. This reminds me of one of the astral projection methods in the JoS where it says to stop the chakras from spinning and turn them like door knobs in the opposite way..
Coming to think of it, although VERY rarely, I have done something similar while Void meditating and trying to relax. Moments in which I have had the impression that I have been trying to take a glimpse of something that's not staying still at all, so its shape is extremely blurred and confused, impossible to make out, but that for an instant stayed still and I had a very clear view of it. This (but I suspect only happens with one or two head chakras, third eye and sixth chakra probably) is how I observe visions. Faces, places, images of shapes or sigils. Thinking of them now, in the confused and blurred waking state, I understand I didn't 'summon' them or otherwise called upon them.. I merely was able to see.

This leads me to another thought (I'm just pinning it down on this post so perhaps you can use it too).
The thought is about the perception of time.
Maybe the only reason the visions and images seem so blurred to me now that I recall how they looked while having Clarity is because of different time perception. If you wave your hand before your eyes very fast, only changing direction outside of your field of view, you can only see a skin colored blur, can't you? BUT, if you slow your hand movement down to a manageable speed, you can make out that it's a hand, you can count the fingers you're holding out, you can tell little marks on your skin.

Maybe the reason one feels isolated from the astral in this hectic and fast moving world is really just because they can't yet slow down their mind and notice all that still exists, but on a place where time flows differently.

Maybe when we try to meditate and see or hear or even FEEL anything, we only can't as long as we don't include this understanding within us: that to catch a glimpse of another reality we can't just sit on our ass in this one and WAIT for it to come to us. Never gonna happen. Not until we somehow enter this new reality through meditation and become capable of observing it.

And maybe, one's ability to use Clairaudience and Clairvoyance, and so on, really do not depend much by something that the chakras have achieved in terms of potential, as much as it depends by our own ability to cause them to slow down and witness this other reality, becoming literally capable of learning from it.

Guess this took me a while to describe and document, but I feel it's something that could potentially make the difference and lead someone to further understanding and success in matters of the Soul.

"Also you've been mentioning this 'inability to feel' energy a lot for a while now. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this. ..........
What exactly are you expecting when you mean 'feel energy'? What do you think is how it's supposed to work? When I work with white-gold energy to clean my soul and aura, I don't 'feel' anything like a buzz in the air or tingling sensations, I might feel warm but what I do feel is a sense of relief as the energy works to get rid of filth and dross negatively holding me down, the 'air' feels more positive and the colours of the world feel more bright and happy like a chipper sunny day in the neighbourhood, I don't really 'feel' it like an element. Perhaps you just need to change you perception of feeling energy, the closest thing to the 'feeling' you seem to be referring to is nothing more than 'looking' at it and being 'aware' of it's presence there, but you don't get any kind of special sensation."

Ever since I came to the JoS and started reading about 'feeling energy' I have wondered what that felt like. I'd hear of people reporting an 'energy buzz', effects so debilitating they had to wait days before they could try something again, hot effects, cold effects, and so on. That's when I started thinking I was doing things wrong, or that I was just incapable of feeling anything like that, and in time this became a constant problem, because I'd try to use increasingly powerful meditations and would still feel nothing from them, no matter how bright I visualized the light or what color I used on my aura. That's why I always loved the Elements, even if I could feel very little, close to nothing other than what came from the physical idea of being within the Element, like in an icy lake for cold, I still somehow felt they were the strongest energies I could work with.

So, yes, a wrong idea and wrong perception, or even expectation, of energy surely played a role in my inability to feel.

Skipping to today, however, I really wanted to tell you about something else... regarding mild-strong feeling of energy.

As I stated in that post for people that don't seem to feel energy, I've been giving a serious shot to Yoga, Kundalini Yoga and the Five Tibetans. Not even for so very long, actually, I have used mantras and Runes for much longer now but haven't noticed an effect such as this that I'm about to tell you of (hopefully, briefly).

I've been feeling 'more energetic', I used to sleep much more but now I find I can get up and start doing things something like 3 hours earlier than I normally would. I feel that I've possibly put more effort in trying to make my back flexible than I should as I have noticed a faster change than I'd think normal, not necessarily 'painful', mind you, but 'active'. It's the only word I could think of right now.
Yesterday I thought about how I would describe this to you when I would have been here typing this out, and the only example I could think of was "I felt like a water hose that had just been untangled". Hence why I feel this sensation similar to pain crawling up my spine. It feels like a factory that hasn't been used in forever, after one full day of work.

The only other effect I can report for now is something that I read about in HP Pythia's description of the effects of Demons' bioelectricity. She mentions feeling "sun burnt" but without the pain. Yesterday night I felt exactly that, on my back and shoulders. I wasn't summoning Demons though, I was just doing a few dozen Kundalini Yoga exercises.

And, not yesterday in particular but over the last maybe week or two, I have felt moments in which I wasn't sure of my stance. I mean, it's like I felt a shift in my balance... but without moving, I just perceived this while staying perfectly still.

The next course of action that I feel is necessary here is to start again using some Tai Chi. Simple movements, nothing too complicated, but I feel the need to get this energy into a more flowing form, that it can't stay put, that it needs to flow like in a water channel irrigation system in a dried up garden.

Thanks for the appreciation and for being so insightful and inspiring.

Hail Father Satan Forever!

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

----

Don't let my short replies ever make you think I don't read your whole posts, whenever I'm more grounded I say less and am more blunt to the point.

I'm glad you've found use of the information and find it inspiring.

Yoga is definitely a good routine to get into, just remember not to push yourself. Energy can feel like a variety of different sensations, not just what is written on the website. If you ever feel a ticklish and pleasantly blissful and pleasurable feeling at the places you are stretching with yoga, this is also energy.

It is the emotional response sent to the upper chakras (our bliss centres) of 'relief' when energy is freed up. Just one example of sensation with energy, this is what you should be feeling with yoga and it might take a while before you do.

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

Don't let my short replies ever make you think I don't read your whole posts, whenever I'm more grounded I say less and am more blunt to the point.

The thought never crossed my mind, I know you only say what is necessary as you're led, mostly I guess, by your insight.

As for the Yoga and the bliss from energy being sent up, I'm not yet there. I think I felt something slightly similar (can't state that it's in any way the same thing) only when using vibration, Runes specifically, that match the upper chakras in some way.

I still feel the link between my male and female chakras isn't working as it should. About a month ago, I've had the strongest fascination with the color Green, a particularly shining and revitalizing Green, and for some reason I felt a strange connection with the name Asclepius (whom the myth calls 'the god of medicine') and with his 'Staff of Asclepius', the material version of the Single Serpent Meditation, one snake around a wooden staff. I thought it was clear enough that I had to heal myself somehow, possibly from a 'sickness of the Soul', like a blockage, very probably at the heart level.

I'm not completely sure where this blockage is, but I felt the discomfort between the Solar and Throat areas, that's why I assume the Heart chakra needs unblocking and healing. I'm not too sure about this as I also thought of the Throat chakra as the main blockage (being the discomfort located in the chakra area immediately under it, suggesting the energy doesn't get through the throat).

Yoga is helping, if anything, to feel energy being 'dislodged' from stagnant areas, I can definitely tell that much or I wouldn't be able to feel it as I do. I'm hoping to get things to the next step soon enough.

As a side note, completely unrelated: remember my grey infested/prone to possession ex girlfriend?
Apparently she tried to crawl back once again in my life, not so surprisingly the very same day I lost my grandfather. I've been on high alert since then, and today another attempt of contact was made, but this time I, somehow, felt Leraje had a hand in putting a barrier between us. I can't tell you how I literally know that, I just know that. I feel it and I know it.

Now I feel my ex can't even claw my direction, but more than anything.. I am so thankful to Leraje for this, I know she must care a lot about me as she keeps helping without me asking (one thing about me and Demons, I hate to ask for help as I feel I should always take care of things myself). Nevertheless, this Goddess does help. I may not 'physically' see her, hear her voice, feel her like I would love to, but I know she's always close. I feel ashamed if I think back of all the times I managed to read about another Demon while looking for my Guardian, somehow ending up ignoring her. To this day I don't know if her JoS description included all that information since the beginning, and if I would have recognized her by reading it carefully before just last year.

I must find a way to thank her properly. I can't put into words how much I feel she wants me to grow and get close to her, working together. It's like an old thought I've been having since forever.

Hail Father Satan Forever! Hail Leraje!

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

----

----

Let me clarify then to possibly confirm your direction.

Drawn to the colour green: Green is associated with balance, harmony, healing, it is ruled by Venus and the heart chakra. You suspect matters of the heart tying further to this indication but don't understand why, but I'll clarify here. Yoga is tied to balance, harmony and the heart chakra as it is the heart chakra that is stimulated through yoga via the circulation of energy which is the chakra's function, and green energy is resulted of the balance and harmony that is stimulated by yoga and matters of the heart.

Look to multiple signs at once and see how they tie in together. When you clarify all of the related associations you can piece together the puzzles to figure out what you're being guided to do, this is one method of communication with Satan, the gods and your guardian and I try to keep an eye out for them. I.e 'Sudden obsession with the colour green', 'the idea that something must be healed or unblocked', 'the idea of the heart popped into your mind', 'green coincidentally rules over healing in rulership along with venus, both ruling over the heart chakra' 'If I recall, you suddenly decided and felt urged to pick up yoga out of no where coinciding with all of this and yoga stimulates and works with all of these matters' 'Balance is also ruled by green and the heart chakra to not only help with healing but unblocking energies as the heart chakra is the circulator of energies in the channels of our soul'.

These are all your signs. All together it's quite simple to piece that you should be doing yoga and working with your heart chakra and green energies for healing and balance.

You're probably being directed to clear blockages in your nadis via the heart chakra's functions by stimulating and working with it with yoga and likely any additional cleanings and focuses on the chakra itself. You can also meditate lightly on green energy, just passively engulfing yourself in brilliant and vibrant shining emerald energy and feel it speak the word 'balance' into your soul, you can even say and affirm either out loud or in your head as you're doing yoga "Balance, balance, balance" and repeat with positive and relaxing intent as you focus on your energy flow and/or your heart chakra. This will not only help free up blockages and stagnant 'sickness' in the soul but in mirror to the physical body it will encourage healing and protection against illness, diseases and even viruses.

When doing yoga poses you can try to relax and focus on breathing in energy, don't try to visualize just feel it, perhaps this tuning of attention will help you better to feel that 'bliss' of relief as you get the energy going. Cleaning and opening the feet chakras also might help you as we can take in energy to circulate up through our majors from the feet chakras that ultimately lead to the base.

--

On the interesting matter of Leraje, I cannot guarantee the accuracy of this experience whether it was real or my imagination but it was too coincidental. I didn't want to tell you about it so soon after, but after that post where I originally seemed to reveal her in truth as your guardian demon, not 8 or so minutes later after I posted it, 'something' on my astral sight, a white fog, wisped right by my computer screen grabbing my attention. I felt someone suddenly in the room, no energy though, just an affirmed presence and I could tell it was very feminine energy.

The name 'Laraje' kept repeating in my head and I focused on what seemed to be her in my room. My astral hearing is not the greatest, she was talking to me I think but it sounded like a very quiet and distant prattle in the back of my thoughts but if I remember correctly it had some kind of vibe of 'appreciation' in it's tone. I remember feeling suspicious about this entity in my room though, I didn't want to up and start conversing with this supposed 'Leraje' without consulting my guardian Andras first.

I believe she tried telling me it was safe and she was real but I still told her I was going to ask my guardian to confirm her presence, and my astral hearing kicked in better with her saying a very sassy "Okay" in response. I kid you not, tone for tone it sounded like this confident little girl who knew she was right and I was wrong and was only going to be proven so with my consultation to Andras, and I later found out after this encounter when I decided to look up her profile on the website that she is sarcastic, so that whole vibe made sense and made me a bit more confident in the realness of the encounter.

Anyways I consulted Andras and in a different male tone I heard and felt the the undeniable word "Safe" in response from him, so I tuned my full focus on her. I heard the word "gift" and was urged in that she seemed to be wanting to offer something in return for me helping you realize she was your guardian. I've made deals with demons before for things in return, but I've never done something for a demon and then have them come to me wanting to give something in return, so I was surprised. I honestly to this day haven't been able to think of anything truly meaningful, but I've no doubt she'd figure what would be best for me and would probably (or maybe already has) help or guide me on something.

If that whole encounter truly was accurate and real, it would seem to me she had been trying to get you to realize she was your guardian for a very long time and that it seemed you ended up in a stuck mindset that wasn't going to make you see clarity any time soon, so perhaps she sought someone to help you out and it happened to be me. I've no doubt she cares about you, especially if such steps were made to finally open up that realization and communication.

Our guardians want to help us, they want to be part of our progress, our lives and to help us grow and develop, but they can't do that if we don't open up to them and let them in or even realize that they're our guardian in the first place. I hope you at least found this experience of mine interesting, regardless of accuracy it did truly happen to me.

I also think you're on a good path doing yoga.

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

----

Seeing to it that other Zevism are aided in their growth and efforts on this path is one of the things I dedicate to for Satan and it doesn't even feel like a job because it's something I simply love doing.

I am never a 'mediator' on purpose, if I told you how many coincidences surround myself and the people I help as well as my own experiences that I learn from to then aid someone on the forum that same day even with the exact same issue, it is blatant the forces at hand. When the gods want something known to someone, they will find a way to make it known, and sometimes yes, that is through people, we know this as well with Cobra and his famous 'coincidental sermons'. The term medium is more appropriate for these cases as this is someone who occupies a position of utilization as a messenger, in that they are psychically/intuitively open and or powerful enough for the gods to utilize in means of communication this way.

A strong and close spiritual bond and connection with Satan and the gods though is needed for this to work because that's how you allow their influences in so they can do this in the first place, the enemy knows this and I can assure you I've been attacked on almost every front regarding my relations, bonds and connections with Satan and the gods above all else most specifically; Mediums are fantastic means for the gods to be able to communicate to members on the forum in a far more direct way, so you can imagine the vitalness and why the enemy would attack such people so much, I don't share the worst of what I go through for my own safety in not revealing 'weak-points', for such scenarios I seek more private help and of course the gods. I survive everything no matter what to keep doing what I do.

There is a difference between a mediator and a medium. Mediators are like telling someone to email your boss for you instead of you figuring out the program to send an email for yourself. A medium in the same kind of scenario is more the bridge to those emails in the they simply ensure the email is sent through properly as it is meant to and the receiver understands what is written. We don't write the email and we don't send it, we're more the middle ground process that ensures the 'transaction' occurs from one individual to the other, like a safety net of clarification to signs you're likely already seeing or need to have brought to your attention. The mediator is the 'acter', the medium is the 'enabler'.

Either way it sounds nicer and most of the time you don't know you're being used as a medium, unless you can intuitively see it and it happens often enough. I always feel very honoured regardless. I'm also very happy about your experience in finally sensing Leraje, she will be able to help you greatly, our guardians are our teachers first and protectors second. As for Dantalion, perhaps you'll find it of further convenience that I once had a visual regarding a major explanation in my past lives when it was of large relevancy to me, and in seeking the source provider I was lead to his name. You talk questions of your history and past lives, he might be wanting to help you or be able to help you with this in this same manner as he did with me. He does this via mental imagery in your mind's eye ("He can produce hallucinations." written on his profile), mind you this takes grounded clarity. Ensure your psychic centres are cleaned with satanic energy specifically before attempting anything. That's just my two cents, I can't guarantee this is accurate and it could be another reason you keep thinking of him.

I'm glad to have been of help to you, I have great faith in your developments.

 

[Apprentice]

Thank you for your care. I will try to be as coherent as I can. Last nights sleep was pretty lousy because of the sleep test. The nose cannula tickled me all night and the pressure from SpO2 sensor made my finger ache and my whole arm numb.

you mustn't forget that the aura cleansing meditation we do on ourselves can be done on loved ones

Yes, I've done this pretty regularly on my family members. Even the simple aura cleaning followed by AoP works wonders. I use returning curses whenever things start to get ballistical. I usually do this in full focus but I also have done it while driving on freeway. If I ask her covertly, she usually confirms feeling better right after the time I did the ritual.

Now the thing about opening the chakras is that I think people take the meaning of this too 'literally'.

I used the chakra working as an example in my post but yes, I took it literally in the beginning. Your post is worth gold to me because it gives me the dry background information on what to expect and how things actually work. Such information may be available in some of the sermons in the depths of our library but I didn't have it when I started my first chakra working. Add to that the enemy interferences/attacks, high expectations and a hint of entitlement syndrome and it is easy to understand why some beginners may become discouraged and feel lost.

BTW, I have had this painful sensation in my back right between my shoulder blades. This has been going on for like 2 years or smth. I first suspected that it is caused by warm muscles cooling too quickly, magnesium deficiency or something along those lines. It can last 2 days or several weeks. IIRC, pain and discomfort in a chakra area shows that there is a problem with the next chakra upstairs. Could this be a sign that my throat chakra is blocked?

So ultimately with these shit-shows sometimes all you can do is weather the storm. Unless you're a Satanist.

I'm not the one to weather the storms if there is a way. I have read the How To Obliterate Your Saturn post by Lydia several times. I was under the impression that this concerns the past and karma. I also did a nicely timed generalized Munka working on past hangups and soul wounds. So now I can start a new Munka working to help the current shituation. With the exception of VoC, should I pay attention to the astrological situation or can I start right away? I noticed that the Moon is in Pisces today and no VoC in sight.

You don't know what a few affirmations daily can do, no runes needed, just a little risen energy, focus, intent and an affirmation to affirm to the astral to help yourself out.

Thank you for this advice. I think I do know how this can work. For some reason, me and my wife did a working for the success of our company right before the coronacircus started. She did it for 40 days, I did 80. Although the work is often quite hard and schedules are packed, things are moving slowly uphill despite the so-called crisis.

you spread yourself far too thin when you try to cover too many grounds.

I've felt that when I did simultaneously a personal working (a materialistic sun square IIRC), Ritual warfare and group rituals. I wasn't too thin but it was taxing nevertheless.

As for Furfur, Furfur helps with matters of love. She may be able to help you with the tensions of you and your wife.

These tensions usually don't last longer than a day or two. She is the type who usually speaks her mind, I listen, we come to an accord and then everything settles down.

Somehow I feel that your way to this level you currently are at wasn't exactly easy. I want you to know that I deeply appreciate your advice and the time you had to take to write it. Please accept my warm regards.

 

[Apprentice]

I'm not very orderly on present astrological matters at large, you'd have to ask someone more skilled in astrology.

Well, thanks to you pointing me in the right direction, I did my homework. I found that the best time to start a working to abolish negative planetary influences in my life is 14th November. The Moon will be in Scorpio (permanent results), waning and as close to new Moon as it can get (best possible scenario) and no VoC. Also, the Mars goes back to being direct on that day. I think I will start it during the hour of Moon to give it an extra kick. I'm guessing this will be a 90-day Munka working with ×111 reps plus ×9 for the affirmation, with each affirmation sandwitched between AUM vibes.
Affirmation would be like: In a positive and healthy way, I am now totally and eternally free from any negative planetary influences... or something along those lines.
If I may ask, what do you think, does it seem okay? Maybe the affirmation is too broad?

Take care!

 

[Ghost in the Machine]

----

So I ended up taking on the elements sooner than I thought because I was guided to work with the water element.

I was wondering why for so long every time I visualized something or would focus on something in my mind, it would be at a right-side focal point, or off to the right of my perception when looking upon, say a chakra for instance. Things were habitually not centred out of this and try as I might but I couldn't seem to break out of this strange perception of having all of my visuals off to my right side in focus.

Turns out this has been caused by too little of a water element in my soul which has always been a thing of a default state, hell, I don't even have any water in my natal chart. So what was happening with this is that my point of focus was being pulled to the right side of my soul, which is of the Air element, like a magnet as it had the most psychic gravitation as opposed to my left side which is of the Water element which was hardly even there. When I started breathing in the water element, unexpectedly I felt the left side of my soul becoming very pronounced all of a sudden, more 'weighted' is the best way I can describe it, like there was suddenly a stronger gravitation.

After a while of doing this properly I noticed that when I visualized something, it was suddenly focused to the left side in perception by default. So I realized I needed to figure out how to centre this properly which I'm still in the works of but I've already been lead to a couple of things already which are proving rather effective, but it all takes time. Additionally whenever I focus upon or talk to Satan (when he's available for a one-on-one), he always wants me to face the North direction when speaking to him which is something recent and new. The North cardinal point is of the Earth element, with psychic matters of communication and focus I reckon it helps to have that cardinal grounding focus to better tune in to truth in communications, it really does help and I hear him much better with clarity intriguingly enough. I can understand what with efforts to balancing as well that the elements of the soul should also be balanced too, so that might be a reason as well.

I thought you'd find this interesting. Did you know the elemental sides of our soul altered our perception like that?

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

I do wonder if you, having as much Water in your chart as I have Earth, feel anything like I do when I focus and work with my missing Element. The initial sensation is one of strong belonging, then it quickly becomes 'too much' and I know I have to slow down. This may be the case since your mental image went on the other side right away, it simply means you have yet to know your Water enough to keep it up, even if (being Water the Elements mostly associated with being psychic) you're already so skilled at being a medium and reading energies others are still blind to.

Personally, I don't know and don't yet understand what the directions mean and why they are so associated with Elements. I know that when I think of the Elements, however, I do see them in four 'corners', up, down, left and right, but I doubt the order I see them in is close to the actual one.
In my mind, I do see Air on the right hand side, which is possibly correct because I know this Element better, but on the left hand side there's Earth, its opposite. And I see Fire up and Water down. I used to think of these direction differently in the past, but this one I just described is exactly as I see them and feel rather comfortable with it and has been so for at least ten years I think.

I suppose this diagram being wrong could be because of my lack of Earth and not having a very balanced natal chart (if I had three more planets in Earth, without taking from the rest, I'd feel satisfied with that I guess, my Fire and Water are balanced although I always believe my Water was much stronger, and Air I have learned to love more than the rest, very probably also because it's the only Element I can absorb any amount of and suffer zero consequence, or that's just what I believe now.. I don't remember the number of inhales I've done the best times, should try it perhaps, but it's nothing like the other Elements, Fire being too hot blooded and panicky, Water causing distress and irrational fears (hasn't happened in forever, but then again I don't exaggerate with it anymore), and Earth becoming physically discomforting and making me dizzy (which I still find rather absurd, being the Element we have 'too much of' supposedly the one that makes the most damage when irresponsibly absorbed... sure, I can get an overactive mind, daydream more, feel more inclined to use weather magick, but that's it.. no bad effects so far, at all).

Anyway, from what I can get from your situation, it could mean that you just need to get used to absorb Water more often, and if you're actually going all out with the Elements, I'd make it a habit of absorbing ALL of them often enough, to make sure you adapt to all of them, not just one or two when the first seems a handful.

That's what I'd do at least.

The problem with this (one problem that I see) is that Elements, being so strong and fierce, could make you less able to discern subtler energies, and your mediumship abilities would possibly decrease. That's one reason for which I don't want to overdo with Elements right now, I'm working on my astral senses and feeling, so if anything I'm keeping these energy wonders for later when I may perceive them better and surely learn more from absorbing them and studying them.

About the directions, and I'm speaking of cardinal directions right now, I don't know if this is going to be any use to you but you never know. 'Coincidentally' now I'm able to link what I've done to something else I've read only months/one year after:

one day I tried 'spinning' like children do (this is the part I just realized, the 'spinning' itself is part of the first one of the Five Tibetans) and when I stopped like ten seconds later I tried to mentally 'find the North' with closed eyes. I wanted to see if I could feel the planet's magnetism and pinpoint it like a compass. Never tried before, but it sounded interesting that day.
So there I am, turning slowly and determining which angle works best when I suddenly stop and choose my pick. When I opened my eyes I noticed it was not in line with the house I live in (which is supposedly aligned with the cardinal points) but a few degrees to the left.
So I got curious and found a compass. And fuck me, I was right, I'd found North without a compass, just feeling where it was. Later on I tried to read about it but found only roleplaying games' characters with this skill, unsurprisingly. Only pointless stuff.

Don't know how much this can help, or if at all, thought it was worth a mention speaking of directions and Elements.

Oh, as for facing the North when speaking with Satan, I didn't know that. I read about the 'North gate/door' being sealed in churches as it's the gateway to psychic abilities or something that represents it...

Something else I feel this is the best time to mention, last thing for now:

it's about sleeping and dreaming. This seems too accurate to be a 'coincidence' so I'm writing it down as legit information, for me at least.
Long story short, I have definitely noticed a difference in my dreams' quality depending on which cardinal direction I face. My bed right now allows me two directions, East and West. I have noticed then I sleep 'facing' East (with my head pointing West) I normally have better dreams, not so filled with stress, and sometimes even pleasurable (not necessarily 'sexy', it's actually been a long while since the last one I recall). When I sleep the other way around, with my head closer to the East (looking West if I sit up) I have shittier dreams, more stressful situations, even scary actually, raising fears I don't normally have, to the point of becoming paranoia during the course of the night.

Needless to say, I sleep like in the first example I mentioned mostly, because I still try to conquer my fear and face my dreams (or 'face my fears' and 'conquers my dreams'? lol) so I challenge myself and a couple times I got so distressed and pissed off in the dream I started reciting the Ritual in the dream.

Any idea why that happens? :/

Actually I could probably make a post on this, I don't know how relevant it could be but if it's an actual problem of some kind and it has a solution (other than moving the pillow to the opposite side) maybe it's worth writing about it where everyone can see.

One thing that makes me choose to sleep in the shitty-dreams position is that I'm almost sure the very first time I ever saw Leraje (and wrongly believed Her to be my succubus... lol) I was facing West (head closer to East) and it was Samhain 2003. I never believed the position or direction itself could lead me back to Her, but still tried to see if this gave me an edge, no matter how small.

Well, fuck... perhaps I was right. That's the direction I faced when I was her sigil in my mind's eye....

Air? I never remember this association (couldn't find it in the JoS right now).. is Air in the West? Her Element being Air may have something to do with it, if facing North helps communicating with Father Satan then perhaps each Demon has a specific direction, perhaps based on their Element, that helps in reaching to to them?

(I feel like this is probably easy child's knowledge and I'm the only one who missed that somehow.. hope not.)

Hail Father Satan Forever! Hail Leraje!

 

[Gearshift]

These tensions usually don't last longer than a day or two. She is the type who usually speaks her mind, I listen, we come to an accord and then everything settles down.

Have you ever considered reading the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by Dr. John Gray. It may help especially the letter writing part. It takes like two or three days to read the book unless you read faster, about 280ish pages.

You two settle down at some point in your day and write a letter to each other expressing situations and then think it over and find a way to resolve it.

It's good that you talk and speak your mind, that is very healthy you should be just as open to her as she is to you. I hope your conversations are fulfilling because what your doing is something A LOT of couples don't do and fuck up their relationships either temporarily or fully and even then later on they regret losing their partner.

So very good your doing something many couples don't particularly do and that is: Work on their relationship. It doesn't just exist and poof your fine, it takes work to continue it.

 

[Satan_is_our_Father666]

Once of the things I love to watch on Netflix or other sources (almost the only one actually) are animal documentaries. Apparently what we commonly know about animals is a very faint percentage of things, as they have abilities that vastly surpass those of the average Human being.
Among these, as you have mentioned geese and it reminded me, there are sharks (especially Whale Sharks) and Giant Manta Rays.
I recently learned, and was royally shocked at the precision, that every year in Summer, for about two weeks (or two months, can't recall exactly) countless Whale Sharks and Giant Manta Rays somehow find their way in the waters West of Mexico, some 200 kilometers West of the coast. What for? Some have said they 'dance'.
There's unbelievable videos of these marine giants rolling past the surface or jumping outside of the water to land with a splash, looking like they're doing some actual dance. Or ritual? Who knows.
The thing is, they all manage to travel unimaginable distances just to reach this place, on those dates, and do what they do. Some obviously said they gather there to copulate (obviously each with the same species lol) but perhaps that happens later, in deeper water, away from prying drone cameras.

The way you described this orientation skill with the cardinal points in the Soul... fuck, Brother, it sounds absolutely legit! :O I didn't even know we had skills like these... it kinda blew me away when I read that.

Thanks for the links and explanation on the directions, I feel I'm much weaker in this department compared to things like Elements, healing and little other I guess. These sciences are something that I don't find easy to understand, hope they will make more sense when I am more open and I find it easier to see the missing parts I can't perceive now.

Speaking of links, I found almost by chance (or listening to an inner voice perhaps) that link talking about the increase in one's ability to do something by vibrating the names of specific Gods we were talking about.

am incapable of having it looking like your more elegant "source" link.)

"Vibrating and chanting God names is also very powerful. We can chant the names of Satan and the Demons, visualizing their colors, and focusing on the attributes of the certain Demons, that we wish to obtain for ourselves."

I believe the person I mentioned read this back in the day and tried it with success (their attempt was with the god Raum and the ability to understand/communicate with animals). I feel this could explain why I have felt the way I did when I've been led to Dantalian.. perhaps Leraje knows this would aid me with my lacking mental ability/lack of focus and I could close that gap. It did seem to work way sooner than I'd have anticipated.
Obviously, like you stated before, this will not 'change you into a warrior' by vibrating Andras' name, but perhaps it will give you an insight of things that will lead you to become one.
I also recall that Andras is an artist, that's something I really liked about Him when I read His profile (in spite of all the slander, saying 'he kills the summoner' and all that nonsense, I always had a good feeling about Him, that He's very honorable and kind).

Perhaps you could test your artistic skill as a mean to measure your improvement while vibrating His name? Just an idea.. I know it's not one you thought very highly of, but I had a very good vibe when I read about it, maybe it's worth a try.

About the dreams, I did think that I could have subconsciously programmed myself 'to have bad dreams' when I sleep facing one direction instead of another, so I'm trying to break this cycle. Actually, I lately found out I'm surprised in the first lights of dawn if I wake up facing a direction I don't remember choosing the night before and I decided I will train myself to recognize the direction by means of 'internal compass', like I geese and marine life do. Starting magick even before I open my eyes.

And, even if I normally like to fall asleep to the sound of recorded natural phenomena and animals (wind, water, fireplace, rain is a big one, swamp life and birds, THUNDERSTORMS is a favorite) I never thought of visualizing myself sleeping in a forest... I must say I particularly like that idea. Green vegetation, chilly breeze, animal sounds, maybe gentle rain and leaves moving... it sounds like a dream, no pun intended. Not to mention it'll feel like a real forest when my cats start climbing on me lol.

Something funny about them from yesterday: I was working on my lacking Cobra Stance and one of them went to sleep on my ass lol. As if saying "I'm gonna take a nap, you need this stance more so keep working on it while I sleep".

Last thing,
remember my fascination with the green color? Yesterday I noticed it's increased.. I'm literally in awe of it, favoring light emerald looking lights (like the ones on machines where I work, got a picture of one, I'm thinking of making it into a wallpaper with Leraje's sigil on it.. Her candle and wing color seems to be strong vibrant red, but I keep perceiving Her as Emerald, like those magnificent eyes She has, the greenest I've ever seen.

Enjoy your Samhain dear Brother, best of luck with your Rituals and Magick.

Hail Father Satan Forever!

 

[Henu the Great]

Once of the things I love to watch on Netflix or other sources (almost the only one actually) are animal documentaries. Apparently what we commonly know about animals is a very faint percentage of things, as they have abilities that vastly surpass those of the average Human being.
Among these, as you have mentioned geese and it reminded me, there are sharks (especially Whale Sharks) and Giant Manta Rays.
I recently learned, and was royally shocked at the precision, that every year in Summer, for about two weeks (or two months, can't recall exactly) countless Whale Sharks and Giant Manta Rays somehow find their way in the waters West of Mexico, some 200 kilometers West of the coast. What for? Some have said they 'dance'.
There's unbelievable videos of these marine giants rolling past the surface or jumping outside of the water to land with a splash, looking like they're doing some actual dance. Or ritual? Who knows.
The thing is, they all manage to travel unimaginable distances just to reach this place, on those dates, and do what they do. Some obviously said they gather there to copulate (obviously each with the same species lol) but perhaps that happens later, in deeper water, away from prying drone cameras.

This reminded me of:

The beasts of the earth, the birds of heaven and the fish of the sea are all under the control of my hands.

- The Al Jilwah
The Black Book of Satan Chapter III

Now, is it to be taken literally? It's fascinating anyway.