--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "allforenki" <allforenki@... wrote:
I KNOW what that feels like
Even when this is all over ; She will still be in your mind for a long timeI am asking for TIPS and not Help here, I Know what to do but need tips on how to do it. This is the HARDEST thing i will ever attempt. I made a big mistake a long time ago. This WILL hurt me really bad, I will have to fight depression and suicidal feelings. I fell in love with a girl. Shes a regular xian programmed girl with an extremely weak Aura! She will go as far as cutting herself, as done before when i tried to leave her. I try to explain to her why cutting is bad but she always tries to ignore me because she doesnt understand me. SHE IS A FUCKING RETARD! I say this out of anger! Shes not really 'dumb' but shes an average person and you know most of us Satanists cant stand the stupidity of the average person. I can go on but basically she cant keep up with the way i think. She always accidently embarrasses me, direspects me, tell me shit, and disobeys me. She follows how she feels (the energy that can easily influence her weak aura) and cant control her actions from those feelings.
**Note** I just realized you can vent anger energy writing! lol Now i can better see how energy is used. I better not waste it all here...
Anyways, Shes Weak and Its killing me. Im Strong and cant stand her. BUT i fell deeply in love with her and if i break up with her (which i tried) ill get seriously hurt and will not wanna meditate and will wanna look into suicide. I had experienced this when i tried leaving her so i went back to her. So Both Ways, leaving or keeping her, Im being killed slowly. Im stuck with her. I have tons of energy that is waiting to be unleashed against me, i have so much emotions i havent let go yet. I have to keep with a VOID mind or else all the emotions will control me, trust me i feel ALOT!
I will direct all those bad emotions into a astral crystal ball until im fine. Then i should be feeling alright but this is just the preparation.
I Will Need to Cut our relationship link which i have no experience doing. Then will have to seal the holes left. *I need tips on this ^*
Alright the emotions are coming out because im thinking about her, FUCK! I have to hold them in! I almost feel depression within seconds.
My emotions are saying I CANT LEAVE HER, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HER! You see how strong and hard this is?
I dont want to do this but i know its best.
Fuck im going crazy, fuck i dont know what to do but i just cant live with her but i cant live without her...
FUCK!!! lol Life sucks right now. I cant believe this energy/connection is too strong for me to handle
Sorry for all the extra shit, i just got caught up on releasing the energy through this message and i want you to see that this shit is TOUGH, real TOUGH! and you cant feel how bad this is unless you experience it.
I have a strong side in me and i have a side of me that all for the love relationship.
Oh man i love her too much!
FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! FUCK IT! I CAN GET THROUGH THIS BITCH!!!
Sounds to me like a female vampire
I KNOW what that feels like