How to start life? I lived with a person who held me back a lot and didn't let me develop properly and now I need it and everything gets complicated, I know we learn over time.
Start learning new things (those you were not allowed to do), develop your hobbies and passions, try to overcome your past and start thinking about the present and your future. Set new goals in life and try to achieve them, and find people who are willing to support you.
You can ALWAYS ask for guidance from the gods! NEVER be ashamed when all you want is guidance.
Start with basic meditations like
Void meditation
Flame meditation
Foundation meditation
aura cleaning
ect..
You will overcome your problems eventually try to change your mindset and way of thinking.