HP. Zevios Metathronos said:
Becoming mentally as a brick isn't your salvation towards emotional problems, as removing your liver is not the solution to not drinking alcohol or something.
People who think that way are inherently weak and they cannot deal with their own issues and control their own powers that come with things which are broadly considered to be problems.
Getting stronger means to master your personality and bring gifts under control, not become an emotionally dead person that is no different than a person going down the street like a dead machine, and think you're cool for this.
Azorm said:
Well I guess we could say I hate when people are mean, inpolite and when they bully each other around for no special reason whatsoever. I always wondered why people are like that and it never made me any sense.
I did had some bad things happened to me with other Zevism, even in real life, but I dont want to talk about that here. Let's just say when one person has deep issues and when they behave badly, their issues really tend to bounce some to others and they might pick up some of their dirt and behave weirdly too. Some of my ex Zevism friends were connected to some bad people for them and it also bounced up to me and messed me up to some degree.
Well I guess I am really sad, depressed person with huge issues that appear every time when I come around most people and I'm too sensitive to talk here. Started invoking fire and earth, tho now I just wanna fight all the time lol (trying not to).
Anyways, I made a mistake with commenting anything. I told myself I should stay away from talking too much on forums until I don't find a proper way to be around here but maybe it's better for me just to focus on some other things. We'll see. I feel sorry for coming here again, no idea wtf happened at all, next time I will control myself better not to create problems again. I will stop being so sensitive and I will stop being here when I see that I can't ..
Nothing more here to say.My fault again.
I'm fine. I'm not dying or anything, I am fixing my issues, I am doing my meditations, I am doing my cleaning daily and Rituals. I think I can have really nice life and I managed to solve few problems already, no reason to stress so much about it anymore. I'm just really irritated at people acting bad to each other, it makes me feel really bad and sometimes not sure how to act around similar people. It always make me feel really, really bad to see such a things from other Zevism. That's almost main reason why I feel I can't fit in, I have different opinions on how people should act with each other and how to communicate. I am disgusted at some sort of behaviours and it seems often I have to act in a similar way to fit in. Also I don't have hang-ups regarding my emotions, but others think that openly talking about your feelings, about your issues is bad and humiliating, I mean, it seems it's irritating somehow, while I am okay with those things and I can talk about anything always as long as people aren't too brainwashed or too big assholes.
Because of meditations my power raised a lot and I must be super careful where to direct it and my gifts are awakening even more. It's actually super hard to control but I'm getting better at it. Sometimes it's making me frustrated so I just want to turn them all off. I am so sensitive to the astral and to the energies that I often feel things like on physical and being around people, even talking online can look somehow "too real". Then add some random emotions and thoughts coming to me, and it seems I have few ways of picking it up, just surrounding myself with ether or void will not fully stop it, or I just lack more practice or understanding of such (some thoughts and emotions tend to come to me later, even years later after I made contact with someone and I just have a strong feel I should let them in so to say). So not only that I see some bad stuff around (when people are writing or just talking), I also pick extra stuff. That's why it feels even worser, cause I know how some people tend to become angry and hateful over really stupid things and they don't want to even understand each other. Sometimes it looks like they just want to look the smartest and they look like they barely even want to understand different opinions than theirs. So if I want to talk often it ends up looking like an argue and I feel like I should just stop and back off, not worth it.
So not everything about me is dirt and I am not sad just because of that, there is more than it and meditations will not fix it all for me over the night nor kundalini. I think I am doing fine overall, just really pissed off when I see others acting like that and having so bad emotions often. I'm not perfect, I also snapped few times at other Zevism, even here 2-3 times, but i think some people have a habit of doing that way too often. I believe I am too sensitive to it...