HI everyone
I'm new to satanism but it seems the occult has been around me since an early age.
Let me explain
I was born and raised christian but never forced to go to church
My first memory is at age 7 i felt a finger softly grabbed my foot no one was in the room but me,i never felt fear or was i scared and never told anyone until a long time later(that memory feels like it happened not long ago,i am now 37)
In the winter of 88/89 my uncle died,so we go to the funeral(my first one) and then church....At the church i felt like i had a slight sunburn which was weird because it was winter and the sky was a bit cloudy but thought nothing of it,then on Xmas at church again i felt the same but thought nothing of it(other than funeral church was a yearly thing on xmax)until i was about 14 i decided to stop going, The last time a sat foot in a church was in 2002 at my grand father funeral and i was forced to go so i went out of respect for him not the church and the sunburn feeling was actually comfortable at that point i had figured out religion wasn't for me.
At age 11/12 got my first experience with the Ouija board and if those were actual spirit trying to scare the fuck out of us guess what, it worked(after we left the girl operating the board said she had issue terminating the session there's 3 deep scratch matching the leg of the heart starting at no all the way down to good bye) didn't touch the board again till i was 15, after that the experience with the board were actually normal,until a couple of years later, we were playing with the board and doing dumb things teenager usually do partying, at some point we went out for a walk and as we walk in front of the church 17yo drunken me trying to light a smoke with damp wooden matches got ticked off and threw the box up the air then out of nowhere 3 lit up.....i should mention those were wooden matches that could not be lit from any surface, not long after a girlfriend said she has put a protection spell on me,now is it true or did it work i don't know. from there spiritual experience were pretty much non existent. Lets fast forward a few years...the mother of a friend of mine who is a medium said to me she couldn't read me there was a darkness she couldn't see past but didn't feel threatened or scared at that point i thought it was the spell a girlfriend had put on a few years ago, again from there spiritual experience were small to non existent.
I always saw myself as a person with my own belief for a long time people who tried to shove their bible or other religious belief down my throat were told i wasn't interested if they kept pushing i would just tell them i don't pray to god i pray to my dead grand father he answers me quicker. I should also mention my initials are SS and i always took pride in it since the age of 17 when i discovered the meaning but then again i was ignorant because of what i was force fed by other religious nutbags.
Religion as always been confusing to me,it never made sense i always felt like we weren't told everything, something was missing, deep down inside i knew it was older than what they tell us that there was more to it ,so over the last 10+ years i made my own research and came to my own conclusion and went with that.
I recently lost my job(about a month ago) and waiting for ei benefit to start my finance took a toll.
On the 20th fiancee and i got into an argument so before things get too heated i went for a walk to calm down,i felt lost,confused,angry etc.., i started thinking about religions trying to figure out why they don't make sense to me,as i said earlier i don't prey to god i prey to my grand father but this time it was different i never asked for anything personal so this time i only asked for advice, then my guts told me to go home.
When i got in the energy felt heavy,since i wasn't tired i jumped on my computer and started looking for a solution to my computer problem.the problem as been sending me in loop and loop of research to the point where i almost gave up when thru a video on youtube sent me looking for something when i saw a link and goosebumps ensued.... i smirked and clicked the link, it brought me to JOS website.
I'm always skeptical at first but i was told to never judge, so i took a quick glance at the site then proceeded to read the main page.
Ive never felt so connected to something in my life from the first paragraph to what i am reading now, all the thing ive heard all my confusion my answers my doubt i had found the answer to and it made so much sense to me.I have so much more to learn from now on
So on that i would like to say thank you for crossing my path and opening my eyes on what i had doubt on, i will gladly dedicate myself to Father Satan once comfortable and ready(clean up in my life that has to be dealt with first)
If there's any question i will gladly answer to the best i can,also take in consideration some of the things i mentioned happened 20+ years ago so i might have to shake the old brain
THX to all for taking the time to read this long wall
i just wanted to share a bit of my history with you guys
