need someone to relate to

[haha_lol_smileyface]

I'm easily frustrated and lazy and i'm trying to work on that so I can do meditation everyday. It's always on and off with me and not only that, I can never go into a trance. I'm too aware of everything around me and sometimes it feels uncomfortable. I can feel energy if i focus on it and i'm not sure if it's right. To me, I think energy feels like kind of a tingle but more intense. Sometimes I will feel my third eye but that's as far as I would go. I don't think I can see auras which kinda disheartens me and my family are really strong christians. I would never be able to do a ritual and even if i could it wouldn't be a proper one. Doing void meditation is also kind of hard for me because I can never clear my mind and I can't really sit still. My faith in a religion is really shaky too so I'm kind of sad that my faith isn't so strong in Satanism but I'm trying and I will continue to try. I was just wondering if there were anybody who could relate. I think I did my dedication ritual but I'm not too sure. I'm so confused sometimes. And I hate going to church. I get so restless and sometimes I want to cry when I walk in. I really want to relate to someone or even just talk to another fellow satanist.

 

[Inlovewithsatan1]

I have been going through the same. I was never supposed to be like this. Though my faith is strong as i understood many things. Just find a good day to restart meditations,keep planetary hours and days in consideration and avoid void moon course and never stop doing power meditation then. The frustration /giving up thoughts would try to distract you as they already are I see. Don't expect anything for now, As you progress without expecting or worrying about the results,you will be enjoying doing the meditations by then and you wouldnt want to spend a day without them,you can't indeed. 
Have willpower and be persistent just.

 

[empty_dreamer]

well luckily this is a place that you can converse with others. just because you can not yet see auras, does not mean that you will not be able to see them later. meditation is supposed to be hard, it gets easier with practice, like anything that you do over and over again. The trick is having the self-discipline to make yourself work on your energy and mind instead of just doing whatever it is that you felt like doing then instead of meditation. start small, and gradually add to it. add a bit at a time, and try that amount for a while, then push past it. repeat. once you get into the habit of meditation daily, it's hard to stop meditating. Even i, as full of myself as pretty much anyone ever could be, when i started out; could never sit still. I could not even quiet my own thoughts at first. Stick to it is the best advice that I can give.
-V

---In [email protected], <haha_lol_smileyface@... wrote:

I'm easily frustrated and lazy and i'm trying to work on that so I can do meditation everyday. It's always on and off with me and not only that, I can never go into a trance. I'm too aware of everything around me and sometimes it feels uncomfortable. I can feel energy if i focus on it and i'm not sure if it's right. To me, I think energy feels like kind of a tingle but more intense. Sometimes I will feel my third eye but that's as far as I would go. I don't think I can see auras which kinda disheartens me and my family are really strong christians. I would never be able to do a ritual and even if i could it wouldn't be a proper one. Doing void meditation is also kind of hard for me because I can never clear my mind and I can't really sit still. My faith in a religion is really shaky too so I'm kind of sad that my faith isn't so strong in Satanism but I'm trying and I will continue to try. I was just wondering if there were anybody who could relate. I think I did my dedication ritual but I'm not too sure. I'm so confused sometimes. And I hate going to church. I get so restless and sometimes I want to cry when I walk in. I really want to relate to someone or even just talk to another fellow satanist.

 

[[email protected]]

You got me on that. 

On Nov 18, 2013, at 0:41, <haha_lol_smileyface@... wrote:

  I'm easily frustrated and lazy and i'm trying to work on that so I can do meditation everyday. It's always on and off with me and not only that, I can never go into a trance. I'm too aware of everything around me and sometimes it feels uncomfortable. I can feel energy if i focus on it and i'm not sure if it's right. To me, I think energy feels like kind of a tingle but more intense. Sometimes I will feel my third eye but that's as far as I would go. I don't think I can see auras which kinda disheartens me and my family are really strong christians. I would never be able to do a ritual and even if i could it wouldn't be a proper one. Doing void meditation is also kind of hard for me because I can never clear my mind and I can't really sit still. My faith in a religion is really shaky too so I'm kind of sad that my faith isn't so strong in Satanism but I'm trying and I will continue to try. I was just wondering if there were anybody who could relate. I think I did my dedication ritual but I'm not too sure. I'm so confused sometimes. And I hate going to church. I get so restless and sometimes I want to cry when I walk in. I really want to relate to someone or even just talk to another fellow satanist.

 

[Charlie Olsen]

Hello! I feel the EXACT same way, though the only advice I can give you is what I would imagine everyone else would tell you too, to just keep at it. (Haha, that's a laugh, coming from me) :/Or (if your not already) go through the JoS and find the join hells army/ spiritual warfare/whatever it is that gives you a routine for your meditations. I find having a routine REALLY (extra emphasis) really helps. I hope it helps!Thanks for reading.  

Hail be to the givers of true knowledge!

On 2013-11-17, at 10:41 PM, <haha_lol_smileyface@... wrote:

  I'm easily frustrated and lazy and i'm trying to work on that so I can do meditation everyday. It's always on and off with me and not only that, I can never go into a trance. I'm too aware of everything around me and sometimes it feels uncomfortable. I can feel energy if i focus on it and i'm not sure if it's right. To me, I think energy feels like kind of a tingle but more intense. Sometimes I will feel my third eye but that's as far as I would go. I don't think I can see auras which kinda disheartens me and my family are really strong christians. I would never be able to do a ritual and even if i could it wouldn't be a proper one. Doing void meditation is also kind of hard for me because I can never clear my mind and I can't really sit still. My faith in a religion is really shaky too so I'm kind of sad that my faith isn't so strong in Satanism but I'm trying and I will continue to try. I was just wondering if there were anybody who could relate. I think I did my dedication ritual but I'm not too sure. I'm so confused sometimes. And I hate going to church. I get so restless and sometimes I want to cry when I walk in. I really want to relate to someone or even just talk to another fellow satanist.

 

[019770b446b0bdcf67e96ad80d165f00]

Yeah I have been through the same thing. I can almost never make my mind go blank or anything of the sorts, and then when I finally almost do somebody or something interrupts me and snaps me back into full awareness. I just keep tryin' at it. It does make me feel sad sometimes, but I know that I can do it. My family is also really Christian, and my brother tries to get me to do these stupid studies with him. I just always make up an excuse to get out of it. He also pushes me to go to church but I guess my family probably isn't as strict as yours so I can just say I'm too tired and not have to go. Good luck, I know it's bad advice but just keep working at it. The closest I've come to being able to fully go blank is going into these woods near my house and I just sat there for a while, but a few kids from my school started coming through on the trail so I got nervous and stopped.  

---In [email protected], <blackvixen111@... wrote:

Hello! I feel the EXACT same way, though the only advice I can give you is what I would imagine everyone else would tell you too, to just keep at it. (Haha, that's a laugh, coming from me) :/Or (if your not already) go through the JoS and find the join hells army/ spiritual warfare/whatever it is that gives you a routine for your meditations. I find having a routine REALLY (extra emphasis) really helps. I hope it helps!Thanks for reading.  

Hail be to the givers of true knowledge!

On 2013-11-17, at 10:41 PM, <haha_lol_smileyface@... wrote:

  I'm easily frustrated and lazy and i'm trying to work on that so I can do meditation everyday. It's always on and off with me and not only that, I can never go into a trance. I'm too aware of everything around me and sometimes it feels uncomfortable. I can feel energy if i focus on it and i'm not sure if it's right. To me, I think energy feels like kind of a tingle but more intense. Sometimes I will feel my third eye but that's as far as I would go. I don't think I can see auras which kinda disheartens me and my family are really strong christians. I would never be able to do a ritual and even if i could it wouldn't be a proper one. Doing void meditation is also kind of hard for me because I can never clear my mind and I can't really sit still. My faith in a religion is really shaky too so I'm kind of sad that my faith isn't so strong in Satanism but I'm trying and I will continue to try. I was just wondering if there were anybody who could relate. I think I did my dedication ritual but I'm not too sure. I'm so confused sometimes. And I hate going to church. I get so restless and sometimes I want to cry when I walk in. I really want to relate to someone or even just talk to another fellow satanist.