Need some help

[SonOfSatan666]

Hi everyone.
I avoided writing this for a really long time, as I was fixated with "having to solve this alone", but I actually need some advice.

Trying to keep it brief, I find some pretty huge difficulty in carrying on with activities in life, long-term activities, which are important to me or my future, such as meditation, Rituals, yoga, creative writing, playing guitar, working out, studying (my university career as been dragged on for an awful lot of time) and social activities. Almost anything, actually. I also have difficulties going to bed; not falling asleep, actually going to bed.
I try to be consistent, and with some stuff I succeed: work out when I can; daily basic meditation like void, AoP and cleaning; not that consistent with Rituals, especially the ones that are not the F-Ritual, some times I do it every day, on rare occasions I follow the complete schedule and sometimes I skip for weeks; the most I have been consistent with Hatha yoga is 30-something days, but when I happen to skip, I stay months without it; studying has become one of the heaviest things to do, even when I totally enjoy the subject. This should be enough explanation.
I don't know what the fuck I've got to do to get out of this situation, I've done freeing the soul workings, a lot of them, nothing seems to really change, as if there is always another layer to this block, I've done therapy as I was heavily depressed in the last 2 years, it got to the point where i actually considered killing myself, because i can't stand not being able to do stuff even though I want to.

It actually became a long rant, but I wanted to give as much information as possible. How do I end this?

 

[Sunny]

You can end idleness with self-hypnosis.

 

[Head Guardian Sophiles Phylax]

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What exactly do you want? Do you want consistency and self-discipline? Both Sowilo and Nauthiz are useful in keeping you going, but you want to pick which one will help you the most unless you think you can handle two workings at the same time.

Here is an example Nauthiz working: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=279733#p279733
As the post mentions, tomorrow the 14th is a good time to start.

There are a couple of ways to go about this. Firstly, either Nauthiz or Sowilo should combat depression in their own ways. However, you should decide whether you want to make the workings broader to encompass all aspects of your life, or do what I did and use it to specifically accelerate your spiritual advancement. The reason for this is because, for me, the spiritual stuff is the harder thing to keep doing and required more mental effort, whereas normal activities with school or whatever weren't that bad alone.

So I am just asking you to ponder how you want to go about this. Don't forget that through your spiritual advancement, more things become possible, even if it requires you to put other parts of your life on hold. You can certainly structure these runes to make you feel like you can continue despite any hardship, but I understand if you feel like you would rather opt more for reducing your workload instead.

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Sowilo is more about fire and pushing forward through the use of energizing yourself. Nauthiz is related to Saturn and earth and is about persevering despite any hardships, making yourself used to monotony, and so on. You could probably use both, but tomorrow is a really good time for Nauthiz, whereas a good time for Sowilo just passed (Sagittarius on Sunday).

However, if you are drawn more to Sowilo, then you could start today, as the moon is still in Sagittarius. Next month has another Sagittarius on Sunday (10/10). Also, the esbat is in Aries and might be good for Sowilo as well. I am unsure about Aries for workings since it says "not good for lasting results".

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What you did with freeing the soul is good in that it sets the stage. Any negative karma has been removed, now you should build on top of that. This means there will be less standing in the way of a working manifesting itself.

I don't know if you will be able to respond to me in time, so I will create a broad Nauthiz affirmation for you (one for spiritual advancement is in the link provided):

Nauthiz (#10) x100
"The energy of Nauthiz has, now and permanently, changed me to always persevere, endure, and be totally consistent with any endeavors I pursue, through any hardship, in all ways and times, and in a completely healthy and positive manner for me." x10

Example visualizations:

-Briefly feel the energy or a visual of the rune itself entering you and making you glow, showing it has augmented you and your whole being, as described.

-You moving through each day, finishing every you desire to do, even with stressors or obstacles hitting you. You can envision this as marching through a checklist of chores/activities with a large weight on your back, or obstacles hitting you, but you keep moving no matter what.

-A calendar or row of days, with each day that you kept up your entire workload glowing brightly. Then all the days start to glow, then an infinity sign glows, showing that you are permanently consistent.

-A green or white-gold flash around you, showing the energy has upgraded you in a positive manner, not a negative manner.

 

[SonOfSatan666]

...

What exactly do you want? Do you want consistency and self-discipline? Both Sowilo and Nauthiz are useful in keeping you going, but you want to pick which one will help you the most unless you think you can handle two workings at the same time.

Here is an example Nauthiz working: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=279733#p279733
As the post mentions, tomorrow the 14th is a good time to start.

There are a couple of ways to go about this. Firstly, either Nauthiz or Sowilo should combat depression in their own ways. However, you should decide whether you want to make the workings broader to encompass all aspects of your life, or do what I did and use it to specifically accelerate your spiritual advancement. The reason for this is because, for me, the spiritual stuff is the harder thing to keep doing and required more mental effort, whereas normal activities with school or whatever weren't that bad alone.

So I am just asking you to ponder how you want to go about this. Don't forget that through your spiritual advancement, more things become possible, even if it requires you to put other parts of your life on hold. You can certainly structure these runes to make you feel like you can continue despite any hardship, but I understand if you feel like you would rather opt more for reducing your workload instead.

--------------

Sowilo is more about fire and pushing forward through the use of energizing yourself. Nauthiz is related to Saturn and earth and is about persevering despite any hardships, making yourself used to monotony, and so on. You could probably use both, but tomorrow is a really good time for Nauthiz, whereas a good time for Sowilo just passed (Sagittarius on Sunday).

However, if you are drawn more to Sowilo, then you could start today, as the moon is still in Sagittarius. Next month has another Sagittarius on Sunday (10/10). Also, the esbat is in Aries and might be good for Sowilo as well. I am unsure about Aries for workings since it says "not good for lasting results".

--------------

What you did with freeing the soul is good in that it sets the stage. Any negative karma has been removed, now you should build on top of that. This means there will be less standing in the way of a working manifesting itself.

I don't know if you will be able to respond to me in time, so I will create a broad Nauthiz affirmation for you (one for spiritual advancement is in the link provided):

Nauthiz (#10) x100
"The energy of Nauthiz has, now and permanently, changed me to always persevere, endure, and be totally consistent with any endeavors I pursue, through any hardship, in all ways and times, and in a completely healthy and positive manner for me." x10

Example visualizations:

-Briefly feel the energy or a visual of the rune itself entering you and making you glow, showing it has augmented you and your whole being, as described.

-You moving through each day, finishing every you desire to do, even with stressors or obstacles hitting you. You can envision this as marching through a checklist of chores/activities with a large weight on your back, or obstacles hitting you, but you keep moving no matter what.

-A calendar or row of days, with each day that you kept up your entire workload glowing brightly. Then all the days start to glow, then an infinity sign glows, showing that you are permanently consistent.

-A green or white-gold flash around you, showing the energy has upgraded you in a positive manner, not a negative manner.

First of all, thanks for answering, it really means a lot to me.
Reading your post, I feel more drawn to the nauthiz rune, as what you stated is exactly what I need. Your affirmation sounds perfect, I'll adapt it to my own language.

Last question: to fight anxiety and depression, I'm doing a working that Lydia wrote in the old yahoo forums to heal oneself from psychological damage, should I end it (40 days have passed, today is number 50 and i was aiming for 90) or jump on to the nauthiz working?

 

[Dark Blue Eye]

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Wow, your explanation is so good. It doesn't help me personally, but the quality must be appreciated

 

[SonOfSatan666]

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On second thought, I decided to do them both, but I'll halve the Nauthiz reps to 50, this way I can handle them.

Also, I agree with the other user saying your response is quality stuff!