Thing is this, When I described to her my wind stoke thing she hadn't the faintest. I was being attacked by the enemy when I went to go see her(and couldn't really defend myself psychically because of not being in a good situation to meditate or clean myself out properly) so some of the psychological ticks that have been instigated by either the drugs or what the now dead greys did personally were happening while I was talking to her(it's called Tardive Dyskinesia) I am now entirely off of and feel fantastic competent and a lot happier, so I was jolting my fingers twitching my nose and I looked pissed enough to break someone in half.
Keep in mind none of this was my fault or very little, I mean I do get 'a little' although not much nervous when I got to new places till I get to know it. I have other greys now goading my current situation things know how to push my buttons as hard as I try they do something to block it out and I am pretty good at blocking it out they get past my ability to ignore their mind games and I get mad. They made at least 70 new buttons to push while I was doped up, and 4 years prior to that so 9-10 years in total. They started pushing my buttons like this roughly 8 1/2 years ago really hard to the point that it become hardset OCD which is almost impossible to get rid of without power meditation/subconscious delving. Through sheer force of will I got rid of the majority of the OCD because it was killing me literally. The magnitude of stress it caused alone could have been enough to eventually kill me alone. The OCD is not completely gone as I need to deprogram what's left but almost entirely.
I get attacked just for coming on this forum. I will admit that I do have an initial problem. But it isn't supposed to feel like this. I was shocked she knew it as well despite how I acted. I mean.. maybe I was just having a bad day, or... nervous about going to a new place?? Yeah.. Which I was having both of those, but hardly needing of "drugs" that murder one's mental/psychic/psycholgical processes just about.
It didn't make a lot of sense really. I mean almost the entire talk with her was dictated forcefully although not crudely. She did listen to some of what I had to say so I don't suspect direct control by the enemy if that's what happened. I just think she's extremely abrasive. Because she's a "doctor" and I'm just the guy who knows little to nothing.. She asked me what do you want me to do about this in a what the hell manner. She probably as bad as I stated but still kinda... I wanna say.. almost rude.
Thing is, I cannot find anyone else I believe. I talked to my mom today and she said that this chick is my PCP and I'm not sure if I can get anyone else. My mom actually switched once because the location of the first was too far away. I've been massively shafted by these creeps into this inescapable situation without Father Satan.
So, I just asked Father Satan to take it and guide the situation completely I realized there's little to nothing I can do. As I can see multiple traps that would eventually get me either back on drugs, or fucked outright some other way. Every possibility leads to that, because without the "drugs" and the SSI I receive along with it, I cannot recieve help period.
So, it's contingent on me taking the "medicine" to get help, when while my mind is defenseless they enemy will have a field day and turn me fully insane without help and I would end up locked up in a mental asylum the rest of my life, yet my spine would be fixed.. Heh.
They've been pullin' for the above mentioned scenario for about 8 years now on me minus the physical health problems till about 3 weeks ago. I just now got that ability to defend myself to be sucked into this vortex of chains, and destruction. So, I regained my sanity, but am unable to get a job and fix myself, which is contingent on my physical health. So, you see I have thought this out thoroughly. I would be outight permanently fucked without Father Satan's help entirely for the rest of my life that was the plan, if I were even to live without Father Satan's help. I suspect they are trying to kill me because even my existence on this planet is an extreme threat. My dad is extremely stressed out because we don't have the money to take care of me, and if I refused to take the drugs, they would be a free will to baker act me for years on end until I either take the drugs or they'll forcefully inject the filth in me, or they gov'ment runs outta money and kicks me out on the streets.
This has been the encroachment upon me since I they "kindly" moved into my life more aggressively than when I was a kid to an older teen.
This has been my entire life. Never having freedom of my own, in one way or another being bound by bad circumstances and not having a brain to think or act at all. I've basically regained all of my sanity thanks to the ALGIZ rune I've been using recently not that it wasn't some on my part, it's just that I have been being mind attacked since I returned to this planet.
My mom says that my insurance won't afford an alternative medicine practitioner. I could only get the lowest form of health insurance naturally. So, I cannot even get really agitated without problems with the wind stroke thing making me feel bad. And I don't even mean like badly agitated, just somewhat above moderately. If I actually get genuinly mad I have to go lie down. I know I will escape this situation alive, and will be happy to be away from the insane, and hedonistic doctors. I do refuse to believe that there are no good doctors at all though. They just aren't common :/
Basically I have been put into a situation that I will end up taking one in the ass no matter what I suspect I will have to deal with some shit even though Father Satan is helping me. I mean look, I already have lol...
I don't wanna go back there at all. But who else can I get... I could try a money working but the kikes have set the system up to where if you don't have insurance(jews rape money from you legally) then you don't get help period. I don't really have the time I think either to get the money needed so I can set up a proper checking account to get my own health insurance which I would be more than happy to do if I could.
I am at a very low level Spiritually and I could probably only pop out roughly 3,000 after a 40 day money working I believe. Totally not enough without a job which again... I have a messed up spine which if i let go which has a few disks that aren't fully locked into place. If I let go of my current position then almost my entire body shifts to the right to where I cannot function well. The wind stroke thing is more dangerous though as "doctors" here heh, aren't aware of it's existence in large. They only know the typical two, high blood pressure, and sudden intense headache, and then you pass out.
My could happen 3 years from now, or 7 months, who knows. But, they will never suspect it was that because "doctors" here are like, it's the west, we're always right even when we think we're wrong, we're still right.
Doctor who knows eastern practices heals someone and shows the western doctor they did, the western doctor tells them, no, no you didn't. I'm the doctor here. I say you just gave them funny juice poked them with needles and talked to them nicely, and told them they were better and they believed it, and it's a form of psychosis ha ha haa. Because evvrybuddy in other countries are absolutely wrong period sure..
I despise atheism. That's what our practices in the west are based on, destructive death dealing drugs, and mostly wrong approaches.
