My problem.

[hs74001111]

Hail Satan Forever.
I'm not afraid of permanent death or challenges.I just want my rest life worthy.Yes I love my life but I will never beg for life,I'm not a coward.If I have to die,I will die for glory and justice without fear.
These are my wills...

My problem is I want to know what happened on me instead of being blind.
Months ago I went through a depression.Most time I'm postive and loyal to Satan but when depression came I just couldn't stop myself from thinking negatively.
I do had the desire to leave Satan and commit suicide for final death.My intention was to die totally.Even worse,I was mad and thinking about destroying every gentile.
I'm sorry for thinking that way!!
One day morning when I woke up I felt that my suicidal feelings and depression suddenly disappeared.That frightened me and I started to doubt whether Satan left me,like "I've already been abandoned so I don't need to consider leaving anymore".I was shocked.Then some thoughts like "I should leave Satan since Satan left me." occurred to me but I ignored them.
What happened?I asked this question in the forum and someone told me that it was enemy attack and Satan just took away the curses and attacks,so I didn't feel depression anymore.Maybe?
I didn't try to do any "reverse dedication ritual".I didn't say anything to Father Satan.The only thing I did is asking how to leave.Maybe it is enough?I never thought about it,I thought I was just asking.I thought:"Well,asking how to do reverse ritual isn't a big deal.It doesn't equal to perform it."Am I wrong?
......Maybe that ritual isn't necessary.Asking "how to leave"already showed my insincerity.
I want to know if Satan left me.Or how to know whether Satan left me.
No matter what happened I will not give up.

 

[Rin Akairo]

Please, you need to stop thinking this way. Set up protection spells, cleans your aura. Tell me if it works.

On Mon, 11 Feb 2019, 00:57 hs74001111@... [JoyofSatan666], <[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

  Hail Satan Forever.
I'm not afraid of permanent death or challenges.I just want my rest life worthy.Yes I love my life but I will never beg for life,I'm not a coward.If I have to die,I will die for glory and justice without fear.
These are my wills...

My problem is I want to know what happened on me instead of being blind.
Months ago I went through a depression.Most time I'm postive and loyal to Satan but when depression came I just couldn't stop myself from thinking negatively.
I do had the desire to leave Satan and commit suicide for final death.My intention was to die totally.Even worse,I was mad and thinking about destroying every gentile.
I'm sorry for thinking that way!!
One day morning when I woke up I felt that my suicidal feelings and depression suddenly disappeared.That frightened me and I started to doubt whether Satan left me,like "I've already been abandoned so I don't need to consider leaving anymore".I was shocked.Then some thoughts like "I should leave Satan since Satan left me.." occurred to me but I ignored them.
What happened?I asked this question in the forum and someone told me that it was enemy attack and Satan just took away the curses and attacks,so I didn't feel depression anymore.Maybe?
I didn't try to do any "reverse dedication ritual".I didn't say anything to Father Satan.The only thing I did is asking how to leave.Maybe it is enough?I never thought about it,I thought I was just asking.I thought:"Well,asking how to do reverse ritual isn't a big deal.It doesn't equal to perform it."Am I wrong?
.........Maybe that ritual isn't necessary.Asking "how to leave"already showed my insincerity.
I want to know if Satan left me.Or how to know whether Satan left me.
No matter what happened I will not give up.

 

[dylanbartone]

Trust me when I say u probly havnt fkd up nearly as bad as I was in the past and I've not been abandoned, so there's no way u have.

Tbh I Thnk the only way to abandon father would be to practice the Torah like a jew and Tht would in turn be destroying urself and all gentiles.

 

[shade00013]

Try cleaning your chakras, severing any hooked hooks, doing a powerful closing spell your chakras and then do an activity that consumes all of your attention for 1 hour… such as playing a twitch based FPS game(only and example).

After all that ask your self again how you feel about the subject… if it changes… you know you were just possessed.

 

[hs74001111]

After desperation and struggle I've overcome my feelings of worry and depression.
Feelings and thoughts are easily influenced by mind state and changing all the time.It is better to get conrol of emotions, which can solve all emotional problems, but one can't stop being controlled by emotions if he is not strong enough.
Fortunatly I've gained enough power to avoid emotional sufferings...Now I'm clam.
I'm evil sometimes.If Satan left me, I think it is for a better future.Evil things must die, I understand.
I know Satanism is about life.
But I can not decide my fate.
Live for death, face sufferings...
Maybe someday I will be lucky enough to know what happened on me, and I hope I will be told Satan never leaves me.But who knows?Have to be strong.
And,as long as I live...I will not give up my loyalty.