lonley little girl
New member
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2021
- Messages
- 30
hello everyone, i am new here and i am honored to finally write here. I have been reading and thinking about Zevism for months. I realized that Satan is the creator of humanity and the only true god to be prayed to. I have read a lot about meditations and I know that Zevism is not evil and that the goal of Zevism is to achieve immortality (magnum opus). I have learned something but there are many more things that are unclear to me. For months I have wanted to do a ritual of dedication, but insecurity holds me back. What worried me a lot was that I might have Jewish genetics in me without even knowing it. Others were also concerned about it. The very thought of it makes me sick. No one in my family I know is Jewish or gypsy, but I still worry ... I want to be 100 percent sure I don't have that dirt in me. I often think that I am not good enough, that I am weak, and that Satan will not accept me because of my flaws, weaknesses, and impurities (if I have them) and will reject me. I want to be better and work on myself, but I have so many problems and it’s really hard. I know that I truly want to be one of you and that Satan wants to be my god and father. My father died when I was little and most of all I want to have a father again. I want Satan, but I'm not sure he wants me. Last night I thought "what if Satan doesn't accept my ritual, what if he rejects me?" and I started crying. I realized I didn’t want to live without him. I am very scared and I am in total chaos at the moment. I am afraid of being rejected for any reason. I couldn't survive that. I apologize for the length of this post, but I wanted to write what is on my heart. If any of you would give me any advice I would be infinitely grateful to him. I will be very happy to fight for Satan if he accepts me. I apologize if my English is not good enough, English is not my mother tongue. Thanks in advance.