My Childhood "Best" Friend...

[dakoopsta6662]

I woke up a couple hours early as I normally do to drink my hot tea, meditate, run on the treadmill, other stuff etc... I have been having extremely strong feelings of hatred and revenge-seeking thoughts for a very long time towards my childhood best friend. It has been going on for a very long time even before i did the dedi ritual. We met in pre-school and starting falling out in middle school and high school... fuck I can't even really focus enough to type this let me just summarize this.

This insecure person provided me with an extreme amount of psychological hardships for as long as I can ever remember. I had nothing but a good nature growing up and he took out his frustrations at me and made me feel like there was seriously something wrong with me. It was nothing but pure jealousy and insecurity. He was a gay kid growing up in the middle of the Bible belt, he allegedly received beatings from his brother (which I know has to be exaggerated), his family was much poorer than me, the list could go on. I was straight, not insecure or depressed, had a loving family with good intentions (Christians, not the bad type), get the picture. After sophomore year, he decided to go to a preparatory academy to basically escape more feelings of insecurity is how i see it..There is a lot more to the story but alas i must get on with my day.

So anyways i was extremely pissed off this morning at him so I put on some Lord Infamous (my favorite rapper) mix stuff from youtube, meditating on his awesome and I felt some anger go away and I felt amazing. The entire time i was concentrating on my anger and eventually i felt very good, a release.

Alright so what can i do to get this guy out of my mind and life and make him feel sorry for what he did? He contributed a lot to fucking me up in the head just know this and i believe he might deserve some more.

And I am not anti-gay at all, i have had bisexual feelings before ( it feels really weird to me though, trippy) bit I m 100 percent straight. I have nothing against homosexuality

 

[dakoopsta666]

I think i was being attacked by reptilians that day, im cool with that guy now. fucked up day, everyone was weird around me

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "dakoopsta6662" <dakoopsta6662@... wrote:

I woke up a couple hours early as I normally do to drink my hot tea, meditate, run on the treadmill, other stuff etc... I have been having extremely strong feelings of hatred and revenge-seeking thoughts for a very long time towards my childhood best friend. It has been going on for a very long time even before i did the dedi ritual. We met in pre-school and starting falling out in middle school and high school... fuck I can't even really focus enough to type this let me just summarize this.

This insecure person provided me with an extreme amount of psychological hardships for as long as I can ever remember. I had nothing but a good nature growing up and he took out his frustrations at me and made me feel like there was seriously something wrong with me. It was nothing but pure jealousy and insecurity. He was a gay kid growing up in the middle of the Bible belt, he allegedly received beatings from his brother (which I know has to be exaggerated), his family was much poorer than me, the list could go on. I was straight, not insecure or depressed, had a loving family with good intentions (Christians, not the bad type), get the picture. After sophomore year, he decided to go to a preparatory academy to basically escape more feelings of insecurity is how i see it..There is a lot more to the story but alas i must get on with my day.

So anyways i was extremely pissed off this morning at him so I put on some Lord Infamous (my favorite rapper) mix stuff from youtube, meditating on his awesome and I felt some anger go away and I felt amazing. The entire time i was concentrating on my anger and eventually i felt very good, a release.

Alright so what can i do to get this guy out of my mind and life and make him feel sorry for what he did? He contributed a lot to fucking me up in the head just know this and i believe he might deserve some more.

And I am not anti-gay at all, i have had bisexual feelings before ( it feels really weird to me though, trippy) bit I m 100 percent straight. I have nothing against homosexuality