edwardtaylor98
New member
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2014
- Messages
- 1
I've introduced myself already in the yahoo group (edwardtaylor98) and I just wanted to see what's up with everybody. Talk a little bit more about myself right fast... I'm a senior in high school (to be class of 2016 Woop woop!) and I'm one of the top scholars in my school. All the teachers respect me as well as the students (supposedly) although they try to make me look like fool every chance they get. I'm a very outgoing person, but I can get serious fast, but still crack a joke AT SOME POINT. I love talking about business. Some people tend to like my "entrepreneurial attitude." I LOVE VIDEO GAMES. I like stuff like Bethesda and Square Enix (also Square Soft and Enix before they combined). I am going to college to get a Bachelors in Computer Engineering to be a Computer Hardware Engineer. Growing up in a christian family, the ideas and words of the bible never made sense to me nor did it ever sit right. I mean, I even tried understanding, but when I did IT REALLY DIDNT SIT RIGHT with me because it sounded like more bullshit the more i read the bible (didnt read much of it). Grew up basically being forced to go to church by my grandma. My dad never forced me to go ONLY if my grandma forced him to go, lol. Ever since I was 10 (i think) I always had this thought just lingering around mind "be a satanist, be satanist, be a satanist" Being a christian at the time, i was scared of those thoughts. Haunted me basically. There was these nightmares that I had of these entity. It was like half lion, half human (???) i can't really explain it very well. It could stand up like a human with human features but it had a lot of hair on its body and it could also get on the ground and be in the form of a dark lion. Haunted me for 5 years STRAIGHT (from when I was 5). Then it stopped until I think 2013 or 2014. It came back. This dream, I was fully conscious. After being chased by it throughout the dream, I gave up running and just confronted it. It said "you know you're the one". Then i woke up. Yea, go ahead and call me crazy on that one.. But a few days after that dream, I dont know why but I got the urge to look at my left hand and noticed the inverted star on my hand. That's when i began to think that there was a meaning to all of this. I didn't see the entity no more after the star. I just really didnt want accept the way of satan at the time because I was SO scared. Eventually i got fed up with the christian bull and started searching for a different religion. ALL OF THEM JUST DIDNT SOUND RIGHT. Every single one (besides Buddhism) had one conclusion. Control over one another. None of them fit the way how i think and i didnt agree with none of their ideas. Then i practically melted knowing what I was coming back around to.. Satanism. I looked at LaVeyan MaMayo and even that stuff sounded a bit ehhhh..., then there was Jos Spiritual Satanism. Had all the information i could read and everything right off the bat. I felt sketchy as a christian of course but I'm an open minded individual so put forth effort and read a HUGE CHUNK of information saying why this and why that just going perfectly with how i think, feel, and see things and realized. Shit, this is the way. This is me. I was angry, numb, just a little of everything. Then a few days after that I dedicated myself to Father Satan and felt SOOOOOOOOO much better after that (I feel like i need to re-dedicate myself because I felt like I didn't do it right at the time). The nightmares ended and everything and I was meditating. The entity came back once more, and he was very chill and happy with me. He was just like "what's up dude?" I was pretty confused then he cracked a joke or something and he just sat on chair grinning at me and I just smiled, then I woke up. Weird right? Is there an actual explanation for all this? I'm glad to be a satanist now and all, but I would definitely like to know if there's a good explanation for all that dream stuff then the coincidences that came about. Was that one of Satan's demons finally getting to me or what? Also, i noticed when i stopped meditating everything just went BAD BAD BAD. The nightmares came back (not of the entity) along with the hands holding me down in bed and my breath slowly being sucked out of me. So now, i started back meditating and I'm already doing a little bit better. Anyway, tell me about yourself now if ya want, and you want to contact me im very active on google edwardtaylor296@.... I also have a youtube channel where I do gameplays and stuff to also help me feel better called EdMisterr (my username here). Just hoping to make things feel more comfortable and whatnot.
