HAPPY MABON BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!!
This Mabon has been a renewing time for me. Lately I haven't been the greatest follower of Satan. I've doubted him, i've spoke against him, and i've befriended his enemies. I've read the JOS website over and over again, and i've disected it to the point where I just didn't believe anymore. I felt like Maxine was a schizophrenic liar, that she stole a bunch of stuff from other religions, and occult practices, mashed it together and made these thought forms and that the JOS website was just one big magickal affirmation. I started to feel like an athiest again... What I forgot is how horrible feeling like an athiest was!
Being alone in the world with no guidence isn't liberating. It's depressing, it's scary, and it's random. For the past two years i've been trying to do everything myself. During this time i've been in and out of psychiatric wards, i've been jobless, poor, unorganized, and self defeating. Coming to think of it, this is how my life always was. I grew up in an abusive household: Dad (Muslim) was in and out of my life til I was eight then he just lefted, Mom (penecostal) beat to release anger and to make me just like the sheep that she is, brother abused me in many ways including sexually, and my sister basically made me her slave. Their was no emotional validation in my house or anywhere when I was a kid. I was constantly mad fun of and talked down to, even by my "family". My teachers treated my like shit,cops did nothing when I came to them, life was just hell. I learned from my experinces, that this a dog eat dog world. One has to be basically a sociopath to succede, right? Wrong.
I've been recently shown that being a lone wolf is counter productive, and that i'm not mean't to be alone, that I mean't to have a loving and supportive family. Satan has been nothing but giving to me since i've dedicated myself to him December of 2008. through Maxine he has shown me the truth, and he has cared for me and supported me. I wen't astray because the enemy put a veil over my face, and I coundn't see who the enemy was anymore. Maxine is very much sane, and very much telling the truth. Sometimes the truth doesn't seem right because we've been lied so much to , and we just don't want to be lied to again, and hurt. As far as the JOS website goes, everything doesn't piece together yet, because Maxine is searching for all the pieces of the puzzle, Satan would much rather us find out the truth using logic, rather than just telling us everything. Satan isn't out their just grabbing anyone to serve him because he only wants the best of the best. He doesn't wan't sheep, he wants GODS!
So I ask Satan and our Gods and Goddesses of Hell, Maxine and our Ministry and all my Brothers and Sisters, to forgive me. Forgive me for going astray and siding with the enemy, and to try to understand why I did it; out of fear and ignorance. I understand that telling someone that Jews are the enemy and Satan is our creator is alot to take in! lol But it's the truth, it just hasn't been fully revealed. I hope that all of you out their that are having doubts realize that this is the one and only religion of truth! I have accepted Satan into my heart again, i'm ready to become a Satanist, i'm ready to become a GOD! This is my new begining!
Hail Satan and our powerful Gods and Goddesses!
Hail Maxine and out Ministry!
This Mabon has been a renewing time for me. Lately I haven't been the greatest follower of Satan. I've doubted him, i've spoke against him, and i've befriended his enemies. I've read the JOS website over and over again, and i've disected it to the point where I just didn't believe anymore. I felt like Maxine was a schizophrenic liar, that she stole a bunch of stuff from other religions, and occult practices, mashed it together and made these thought forms and that the JOS website was just one big magickal affirmation. I started to feel like an athiest again... What I forgot is how horrible feeling like an athiest was!
Being alone in the world with no guidence isn't liberating. It's depressing, it's scary, and it's random. For the past two years i've been trying to do everything myself. During this time i've been in and out of psychiatric wards, i've been jobless, poor, unorganized, and self defeating. Coming to think of it, this is how my life always was. I grew up in an abusive household: Dad (Muslim) was in and out of my life til I was eight then he just lefted, Mom (penecostal) beat to release anger and to make me just like the sheep that she is, brother abused me in many ways including sexually, and my sister basically made me her slave. Their was no emotional validation in my house or anywhere when I was a kid. I was constantly mad fun of and talked down to, even by my "family". My teachers treated my like shit,cops did nothing when I came to them, life was just hell. I learned from my experinces, that this a dog eat dog world. One has to be basically a sociopath to succede, right? Wrong.
I've been recently shown that being a lone wolf is counter productive, and that i'm not mean't to be alone, that I mean't to have a loving and supportive family. Satan has been nothing but giving to me since i've dedicated myself to him December of 2008. through Maxine he has shown me the truth, and he has cared for me and supported me. I wen't astray because the enemy put a veil over my face, and I coundn't see who the enemy was anymore. Maxine is very much sane, and very much telling the truth. Sometimes the truth doesn't seem right because we've been lied so much to , and we just don't want to be lied to again, and hurt. As far as the JOS website goes, everything doesn't piece together yet, because Maxine is searching for all the pieces of the puzzle, Satan would much rather us find out the truth using logic, rather than just telling us everything. Satan isn't out their just grabbing anyone to serve him because he only wants the best of the best. He doesn't wan't sheep, he wants GODS!
So I ask Satan and our Gods and Goddesses of Hell, Maxine and our Ministry and all my Brothers and Sisters, to forgive me. Forgive me for going astray and siding with the enemy, and to try to understand why I did it; out of fear and ignorance. I understand that telling someone that Jews are the enemy and Satan is our creator is alot to take in! lol But it's the truth, it just hasn't been fully revealed. I hope that all of you out their that are having doubts realize that this is the one and only religion of truth! I have accepted Satan into my heart again, i'm ready to become a Satanist, i'm ready to become a GOD! This is my new begining!
Hail Satan and our powerful Gods and Goddesses!
Hail Maxine and out Ministry!
