Don't smoke weed. It's not spiritual and it will cause harm to your mind and body.
Try Hatha yoga and meditate on the energy buzz throughout your body, afterwards. It's better than any drug and benefits you in everyway.
Yeah, that's the sucky part, I haven't gotten into asana containing yoga systems because of hella joint pain, the reason I do weed before bed too... MSM powder, and before I tried that, Niacinamide, fixed it beautifully years ago, but back then I did tons of supplements and they helped me a lot with my health!
Tried just MSM a couple times lately (with vitamin C, needed for absorption) but it seems to really upset my system...
I went with no weed for almost 4 years until recently, started it again to help fall asleep with achy joints and hella depression insomnia, it does help a ton... Decided to get back to it cause I was a practicing Krishna devotee and although it's one of the big no-nos, at the branch I belonged to, it was acceptable medicinally, it's a staple Ayurvedic herb apparently aye...
But, I do know it's hindering... Being of raja guna, it still ends up tamasic eventually, and an elder devotee once told me it hinders spiritual evolution because it ties us to Earth so powerfully? Ending up keeping one stuck to material energies therefore I guess aye...
Honestly, it helps my focus with astral endeavors a lot, but I did ask Father Satan to send me proper guidance about what exactly to do with it, I intend to start a thread about it here aye...
On trance state, I still SUCK at holding focus through meditations, another thing I wanted to start a thread about to ask... I haven't even attempted trance so far, because am still stuck with trying the basic chakra cleansing here and there aye...
My problem is that I don't feel faith in my efforts! I hate visualizing meditations because all I feel is doubt about doing it right... I don't feel the energies very good or at all, mostly really, aye... Weed seems to help, but not with the meditations I try to do...
When I do things myself, astral efforts, meditations, energy sensing, the stuffs that feel natural to me, those do go nicely... But meditations that don't feel like them, I just don't know what am doing wrong...
Granted, once I successfully achieved sleep paralysis inducing trance, years ago!
The elevator method, mentally repeating "deep, deeper, deepest"... Scared me, had sleep paralysis twice before that randomly through those years... It was an effort to get out of body, which years later I successfully achieved multiple times, never needing paralysis to go with it aye...
Another problem is basic time and energy management issues... When my daughter is at school, busy day hours, hard to get into the state of mind to meditate... Before bed if she's already asleep, by then I'm way too exhausted aye...
As of now I'm working hard to try and do something about my constant exhaustion... (I was always extremely low energy physically, and the only thing that ever helped was receiving pleasant attention from males... I used to always be the only female surrounded with a buncha dudes, always just having hella male friends... Most always I always had just one female best friend too... I ended up guessing over the years that am a Tantric vampire, I hear that actual vampires are people born with very slow energy regeneration and end up taking it from external sources, unfortunately the only thing that ever worked is getting it from male affection or male pleasure, but I've become extremely demi sexual and am a total hermit for years now, so am running on fumes for years now aye... *sigh*)
I did hear that Hatha Yoga would help with my Yang deficiency too, and I did hear that one doesn't even have to worry about correct asana positions and flexibility, it's okay to just attempt best with what body allows and I even heard that actually one should always wiggle with asanas, cause depending on individual anatomy, it's one angle or another that will hit that sweet spot or perfect energy flow, so the wiggling allows to try angles and energy ends up flowing with one or another aye ahaha...
My question would be if anyone wishes to elaborate a little, which would be more important to work on first, getting the hang of chakra cleansing or Hatha Yoga?
I've been considering Tai Chi, but damn am feeling wiped out most every time even with proper sleep ugh! (And coffee makes me jittery, I do drink it to get stuff done though aye... *sigh*)
I just don't for example wanna start 40 day or 6 month program until I do the basic meditations (chakra cleansing and aura of protection), properly go where I can feel them too aye... Or maybe I just should and hope for the best?
Right now my main priority is to figure out how not to feel wiped out constantly aye... Without ending up with male interactions... I mean as in, I don't wanna be dependent on that anymore, I trust that Father Satan is gonna help me figure all this out the right way, just like He always helps everyone like you all too aye... *sigh*
I'm apparently experiencing a bit of energy pickup these past few days, guessing it's His Mercy and the Gods', it happens frequently, but always ends up waning after a few days or a week or two, and I hate it... I just want enough energy each day to make headways both spiritually and in the material aspects of life aye... *sigh*
Would Hatha Yoga or Tai Chi help better to start off with? I wonder...
