scaleblade2000
New member
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2012
- Messages
- 0
I'm just going to be blunt and throw it out there. I am baptized Roman Catholic but I do not practice let alone believe any of it. I am spiritual and have been looking for answers for years. I have searched libraries and internet sources until I was blue in the face. A couple days ago I came across the Joy of Satan site and I will admit I was incredibly skeptical. But I was also intrigued. The more I have read on (I'd say I've covered just about every page in the last two days) the more I think I need to speak to a Spiritual Satanist one on one.
I guess you could say I am psychic. I am a little clairvoyant and clairsentient but am mostly clairkinetic. However a couple weeks ago things started to get a little out of control. In the middle of the night, around 3 or 4, I started waking up petrified and not knowing why. My heart would be pounding, I'd be sweating, and for some reason was terrified to look around. I would wake up very abruptly too, not like slowly waking up in the morning, like jolting awake. My guardian would always tell me to calm down, relax, and that he would take care of everything and I was usually so tired that I couldn't fight to keep staying awake.
Ever since this started its like my abilities are increasing. I still can't sense or feel human spirits but I'm starting to hear things when normally I don't hear things psychically. I'll be sitting at home alone or with a friend and start hearing what sounds like a large group of people having multiple conversations at once. It's not overwhelmingly loud but it's still catching me off guard since I have never really heard anything before. So far it's happened about 4 times in one weeks span.
I have also felt a pretty big increase is my clairvoyant and clairsentient abilities too. I usually have déjà vu every once in a while but it's happened almost every couple of days and lasts for way longer (I'd say it's gone from lasting maybe 5 or ten seconds to lasting a whole 2 to 3 minutes of my day). The definition of déjà vu I grew up with is when you are seeing/feeling/doing something that seems like you've done it before and you can predict what happens next as if you have "already seen it happen".
My guardian has been telling me that I need to develop my abilities more, that it's really important. Why? He won't tell me. Just keeps saying I'll realize why when I need too. We've spoken telepathically for about 2 solid years. At first I thought I was being haunted or something when he started hanging around me. But when I put all the pieces together, the things he was doing to get my attention weren't threatening or terrifying. It was just like a brush against my arm, small tug on my hair, and a white-ish gray shadow at the end of my bed.
Our relationship has been pretty shaky. I was terrified of him at first. Then, when I was just starting to get comfortable with him around we had a falling out and I pushed him away (even though my gut instincts told me not to). When we parted my life went downhill and I ultimately lost a year of my life drowning and waiting for help. We are talking again more than ever now (after we both apologized to each other for acting all childish).
But here's the thing- when I asked for his name 2 years ago I got a Demonic one. Everyone else I have talked to has fed be religious bullshit and told me I need to get rid of him. But I don't want to. He has never harmed me. He has constantly protected me and has even protected my friends and family when I have asked. Any time something bad almost happens, his name basically flashes in my head and everything backs off- as if they would be in some serious trouble if they messed with me. He has always helped and protected and has never done anything harmful to me or anyone I know.
I guess I am just overwhelmed and was wondering if anyone had any ideas on what might be going on. I am not religious, so why do I have a guardian already? Why am I freaking out at night? Why am I having new abilities pop up strongly and out of nowhere when it has taken me years to develop my other ones? I am honestly at my wits end at this point. Any input would be great! Thanks so much for putting up with me!
~Rose
I guess you could say I am psychic. I am a little clairvoyant and clairsentient but am mostly clairkinetic. However a couple weeks ago things started to get a little out of control. In the middle of the night, around 3 or 4, I started waking up petrified and not knowing why. My heart would be pounding, I'd be sweating, and for some reason was terrified to look around. I would wake up very abruptly too, not like slowly waking up in the morning, like jolting awake. My guardian would always tell me to calm down, relax, and that he would take care of everything and I was usually so tired that I couldn't fight to keep staying awake.
Ever since this started its like my abilities are increasing. I still can't sense or feel human spirits but I'm starting to hear things when normally I don't hear things psychically. I'll be sitting at home alone or with a friend and start hearing what sounds like a large group of people having multiple conversations at once. It's not overwhelmingly loud but it's still catching me off guard since I have never really heard anything before. So far it's happened about 4 times in one weeks span.
I have also felt a pretty big increase is my clairvoyant and clairsentient abilities too. I usually have déjà vu every once in a while but it's happened almost every couple of days and lasts for way longer (I'd say it's gone from lasting maybe 5 or ten seconds to lasting a whole 2 to 3 minutes of my day). The definition of déjà vu I grew up with is when you are seeing/feeling/doing something that seems like you've done it before and you can predict what happens next as if you have "already seen it happen".
My guardian has been telling me that I need to develop my abilities more, that it's really important. Why? He won't tell me. Just keeps saying I'll realize why when I need too. We've spoken telepathically for about 2 solid years. At first I thought I was being haunted or something when he started hanging around me. But when I put all the pieces together, the things he was doing to get my attention weren't threatening or terrifying. It was just like a brush against my arm, small tug on my hair, and a white-ish gray shadow at the end of my bed.
Our relationship has been pretty shaky. I was terrified of him at first. Then, when I was just starting to get comfortable with him around we had a falling out and I pushed him away (even though my gut instincts told me not to). When we parted my life went downhill and I ultimately lost a year of my life drowning and waiting for help. We are talking again more than ever now (after we both apologized to each other for acting all childish).
But here's the thing- when I asked for his name 2 years ago I got a Demonic one. Everyone else I have talked to has fed be religious bullshit and told me I need to get rid of him. But I don't want to. He has never harmed me. He has constantly protected me and has even protected my friends and family when I have asked. Any time something bad almost happens, his name basically flashes in my head and everything backs off- as if they would be in some serious trouble if they messed with me. He has always helped and protected and has never done anything harmful to me or anyone I know.
I guess I am just overwhelmed and was wondering if anyone had any ideas on what might be going on. I am not religious, so why do I have a guardian already? Why am I freaking out at night? Why am I having new abilities pop up strongly and out of nowhere when it has taken me years to develop my other ones? I am honestly at my wits end at this point. Any input would be great! Thanks so much for putting up with me!
~Rose
