I don't recognize myself

[nema]

I don't mean to vent, and I don't know if that's what i'm doing, but i feel like sometimes i have that right too..

I started meditating again around November 2024 after years of nothingness (i always did RTRs and other works, i just could not care less about myself) and everything is just strange. Beside the fact that last summer i was an homeless underweight addict, now i'm healthy, literally addicted to jogging and meditating, i'm writing, playing and painting again, i just don't recognize the man in the mirror anymore. I know you're thinking "what the hell are you complaining about?", and i'm not, i've never been this happy and grateful in my life, but the psychological aspect is kind of messed up. This happened FAST.. the strangest part is talking to people from my old life (not that i really want to) and, as always, the fact that i really can't tell the truth about anything. You can't say "the Gods created another person out of me" to people, can you..?

Has anybody had a similar experience?

By the way, i'm not a newbie in the real sense of the term, and I know transformation Is what Satanism/Zevism Is all about, i'm just weirded out,but i guess it's normal?

 

[HPS Lydia]

Congratulations on the beneficial changes you have made

What you describe is normal. Even people taking up a new hobby get that sense of being someone else.

You can do a daily affirmation to yourself, just simply telling yourself about your new healthy improved identity and that you are successfully evolving in your best interests. This will help set it into your subconscious. You can do this right before going to sleep at night, and/or first thing upon waking.

 

[Seeker in the Dark]

I don't mean to vent, and I don't know if that's what i'm doing, but i feel like sometimes i have that right too..

I started meditating again around November 2024 after years of nothingness (i always did RTRs and other works, i just could not care less about myself) and everything is just strange. Beside the fact that last summer i was an homeless underweight addict, now i'm healthy, literally addicted to jogging and meditating, i'm writing, playing and painting again, i just don't recognize the man in the mirror anymore. I know you're thinking "what the hell are you complaining about?", and i'm not, i've never been this happy and grateful in my life, but the psychological aspect is kind of messed up. This happened FAST.. the strangest part is talking to people from my old life (not that i really want to) and, as always, the fact that i really can't tell the truth about anything. You can't say "the Gods created another person out of me" to people, can you..?

Has anybody had a similar experience?

By the way, i'm not a newbie in the real sense of the term, and I know transformation Is what Satanism/Zevism Is all about, i'm just weirded out,but i guess it's normal?

I was into occultism before I joined the Temple back in late July 2024. I was much more "dark" in many ways, but mainly I was afraid, afraid of Divine punishment, which goes back a long time in my life and stirred my deep research into religion, fear of hell, or a bad reincarnation, or reincarnating at all even rather than ascending. I even (briefly) dabbled in jewish magick, calling on angels, using psalms, and even invoking the tetragrammaton itself. I never seriously got into Kabbalah, however, and now I'm glad I didn't, knowing what it really is. The fact that "masters" in occultism like Crowley, who got deep into Kabbalah and got their life ruined didn't help either. What mainly kept me away from it, though was my aversion to Abrahamism and all that it teaches and stands for, but I also felt a calling to Paganism. The energies from these Solomonic types are also extremely weird. If you're advanced enough, you can pick on the vibes of someone just from hearing them speak. It didn't feel right at all.

What I found interesting since joining TOZ, I felt a change of being better, lighter in a sense. It's hard to explain. I once feared calling on the Gods/Demons due to Abrahamic conditioning and felt calling on angels was the "safer" option. Since then, I've done dozens of rituals to the Gods, invoking them several times. I felt really good invoking their energies, although sometimes I felt a sense of fear and once I think I felt a psychic attack of doom, which I think came from the enemy. I also felt a deep sense of cleanliness after doing the final three RTRs, which by now I've done dozens of times too, which I assume was cleanliness from all the abrahamic garbage that was in my soul along with other stuff.

After joining TOZ and having studied the jewish religion at a deeper level using both TOZ websites and my own personal research, I realised that religion was evil. I made a whole post about how the Zohar contains the real meaning of Yom Kippur, which was the jews sending all their negative karma on Satan/Zeus and the Gentiles, mainly the Edomites/Europeans. In what world would "God" condone or command such an evil practice? You can read about it in more detail here if you wish:

Directly from the Zohar: Jews send their negative karma to Whites and admit it's a crime to do so

It saddens me that most SS probably don't read the Zohar. That book explains fully the kabbalistic jewish tradition and what it really entails for Gentiles. What annoys me more is Kabbalah Exposed doesn't directly quote the Zohar for proof of what it claims, it instead just says "Kabbalah says"...

ancient-forums.com

The Abrahamic frequency is extremely twisted and abusive. "God" loves you but will also fry you, murder you and torture you if you disobey him. Abrahamic texts are full of "God" punishing jews and other peoples in the most twisted ways possible, at one point making the jews eat their own kids.

The threat: Deuteronomy 28:53 "Because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the LORD your God has given you."

The threat being fulfilled: Lamentations 4:10 "With their own hands compassionate women have cooked their own children, who became their food when my people were destroyed."


If you're a parent and truly love your children, you wouldn't want to hurt them in any way. Actually, just being a decent human should tell you this is evil. "Yahweh" isn't a parent but a gangster. Even most human gangsters aren't that twisted. Only a jew could write these above verses and think it's "okay", and since christians and muslims are jew-larpers, they also somehow think the above is "okay" then we wonder why earth is a garbage dump. I wonder if abrahamics who studied the bible fully truly love "Yahweh" or are just afraid of it. Anyone who seriously loves this abomination, knowing what it did in these books, must have a very twisted conception of what "good" really is. It's hard to comprehend, really, as it's totally alien to human morality. These are the same people who would scream "Satanist" at some hypothetical psycho who would make his hostages eat their own kids, but when "Yahweh" does it, it's "justice", and "Yahweh" is still the "ultimate good" somehow. These are the same clowns want to claim a monopoly on objective morality.

 

[nema]

Congratulations on the beneficial changes you have made

What you describe is normal. Even people taking up a new hobby get that sense of being someone else.

You can do a daily affirmation to yourself, just simply telling yourself about your new healthy improved identity and that you are successfully evolving in your best interests. This will help set it into your subconscious. You can do this right before going to sleep at night, and/or first thing upon waking.

Thanks you very much indeed High Priestess.. i will! I think I just need some time for things to "solidify". Have a Blessed Day!

 

[Karnonnos [JG]]

That is a dramatic change and it can create a lapse of perception or a nostalgia for when you were in a horrible place. The more things 'set', the more you will embrace this new life, as it is a sort of rebirth.

Also, it has to be said, only doing the FRTR can make someone very vulnerable to certain influences! Anyone here must not have the attitude of 'I do not care about myself, just fighting the enemy'. You needed both then, but now the FRTR is not necessary outside of schedules. Cleansing routinely and building up an AoP is an absolute must.

 

[nema]

That is a dramatic change and it can create a lapse of perception or a nostalgia for when you were in a horrible place. The more things 'set', the more you will embrace this new life, as it is a sort of rebirth.

Also, it has to be said, only doing the FRTR can make someone very vulnerable to certain influences! Anyone here must not have the attitude of 'I do not care about myself, just fighting the enemy'. You needed both then, but now the FRTR is not necessary outside of schedules. Cleansing routinely and building up an AoP is an absolute must.

Thank you, that's what i'm doing. And you are right, i went full kamikaze for a number of years.. in retrospective, i probably just wanted to d** and I was determined to at least go out in style. I would never ever even think about that these days... Hail!