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- Oct 22, 2011
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Greetings my friends. My name is William and today,I've done my ritual of commitment to Father Satan. I followed every instruction I had to,yet,I didn't feel his presence. He didn't talk to me. Did I do something wrong? I'm feeling so sad. I feel neglected and abandoned by Him.
Some months I was diagnosed to a genetic condition that changed my life forever. I couldn't live anymore. I was (and still am) depressed. Often I think about suicide,but I simply can't do it,for I have dear ones that depend of me. I tried doctors (5 different ones) and none could cure or offer a plausible solution for me. Then,I turned myself to the false gods (my family is very catholic) and didn't have any answer from them either. Yesterday I found Joy of Satan and thought of it as a door to happiness and hope. Spent the entire day reading what I could and what seemed crucial for newcomers. Wrote everything I needed on a personal notebook and went off to rent a private room in a hotel to start my ritual. I did everything...everything. Signed my entire name in blood and tried to meditate a bit (5 rounds of breathing meditation as recommended) burned the paper on the black candle's flame and said the words.
I do confess I was a bit shy and anxious during the ritual,for I didn't know what would happen. I was too nervous to say "HAIL SATAN" out loud,since I'm a very introspective person and I hate to draw attention to myself. In the end,I simply said "Hail Satan."....again "Hail Satan"....and again...until I stopped,took a breath and tried to say as firmly as I could: "Hail Satan!". It was not a yell,but more of a firm statement. After that,I tried to meditate a bit more (still insisting on the breathing meditation). After that,I've read the The First Satanic Enochian Key,respecting the pronounce the best I could as taught on the website..all of this while wearing black and knelt down.
Yet...emptiness. I don't feel Him. Did I do something wrong? If Father Satan neglect me,I'm lost. I will die...but I don't want to. I want to live! Please my brothers and sister,help me understand...help me see my mistake. Share your thoughts and experiences. It would be delightful and I would be very thankful.
HAIL SATAN!
Some months I was diagnosed to a genetic condition that changed my life forever. I couldn't live anymore. I was (and still am) depressed. Often I think about suicide,but I simply can't do it,for I have dear ones that depend of me. I tried doctors (5 different ones) and none could cure or offer a plausible solution for me. Then,I turned myself to the false gods (my family is very catholic) and didn't have any answer from them either. Yesterday I found Joy of Satan and thought of it as a door to happiness and hope. Spent the entire day reading what I could and what seemed crucial for newcomers. Wrote everything I needed on a personal notebook and went off to rent a private room in a hotel to start my ritual. I did everything...everything. Signed my entire name in blood and tried to meditate a bit (5 rounds of breathing meditation as recommended) burned the paper on the black candle's flame and said the words.
I do confess I was a bit shy and anxious during the ritual,for I didn't know what would happen. I was too nervous to say "HAIL SATAN" out loud,since I'm a very introspective person and I hate to draw attention to myself. In the end,I simply said "Hail Satan."....again "Hail Satan"....and again...until I stopped,took a breath and tried to say as firmly as I could: "Hail Satan!". It was not a yell,but more of a firm statement. After that,I tried to meditate a bit more (still insisting on the breathing meditation). After that,I've read the The First Satanic Enochian Key,respecting the pronounce the best I could as taught on the website..all of this while wearing black and knelt down.
Yet...emptiness. I don't feel Him. Did I do something wrong? If Father Satan neglect me,I'm lost. I will die...but I don't want to. I want to live! Please my brothers and sister,help me understand...help me see my mistake. Share your thoughts and experiences. It would be delightful and I would be very thankful.
HAIL SATAN!
