40 lbs heavier are you serious? There's a reason there's weight classes in fighting. Your coach might be conditioning you but you can become an excellent fighter without someone with a huge weight advantage literally beating the shit out of you.
I would take the advice of WoadWarrior and train as a hobby instead.
It is not only he hits me, I hit him too.
I never feel pain when my weight class athlete punches or kicks me.
So, I don't think that is too bad.
Nah man training as a hobby is all the things you want minus all the things you don't, as I said hard body sparring gives the satisfaction of hurting people and fighting without the risk of brain damage, and when it comes to street fighting I assure you even basic competency at kickboxing will allow to you batter 99% of the the population the remaining 1% you should never fight in the first place.
Competing 1 on 1 can be done with without full blown fights, make friends in the combat sports scene, set your boundaries and develop your skills without causing brain trauma, I have trained with guys who love to go all out every time, I just tell them I only go light to the head hard to the body, if they respect those boundaries I gain a new long term training partner, it dosen't matter how other people want to train IMO if they want to spar with me, its done by my rules, I am more than happy to do so solo drills if they cant respect that.
I also think your massively underestimating the brain damage pro fighters experience I have seen older guys who literally cannot speak intelligibly and they barely had a career, because some people are far more vulnerable to CTE than others and there is no way to know beforehand until its too late, there is nothing wrong with sparring hard every so often, and it has made you tougher, but is this really what you want out of life? Being a punching bag? Most pro fighters go broke, even champs go broke, your manager, the orgs, every dodgy criminal in your area will all expect a cut of your pay and it aint much to begin with.
Life is to be enjoyed my friend, you love fighting than do so, but learn to do so in a way that maximises your happiness, IMO that would mean 90% technical sparring very light and 9% hard sparring to the body 1% hard sparring for when you really get that itch, but just because you enjoy something dosent mean you need to make a career out of it, all the guys I know who love combat sports the most all do it as a hobby and trust me its better to be a dentist that can kick ass and then go home with a nice pension, with his brain in perfect health to a happy family than to be some drooling ex champ in a wheelchair who used to be a big deal.
Dont let fear drive you to make poor decisions be above that, you fear street fighting, so you overcame that fear through training dont let it become an obsession and fear of street fighting is healthy you never know who your up against they may have a knife or fun, and even if you win what if they are a criminal and decide to get a group afterwards to get revenge and kill you it is sensible to be afraid of such a risk.
Maybe try wrestling, its a brutal sport utterly rigorous all about competing to your maximum ability, dominating and defeating your opponent and make no mistake its an instant win in a street fight if the other guy cant wrestle and it has very low risk of brain injury same with BJJ, google Alexander Kraelin he had no brain damage as he was a wrestler and there isnt a person alive who would want to fight him in the street., he would kill 99% of UFC fighters, that should be your goal if you want to be the strongest, striking arts arent about strength they are about speed, wrestling is strength.
I love wrestling, I love Brazilian Ji-Jutsu, I love Judo. But there isn't a gym for it in my neighbourhood. I don't want to CTE but I want to keep doing boxing I just never know what to do.
I love boxing too. But even I was so scared in the match, even I wasn't able to think how to win the fight, I was thinking just surviving. I thought I am gonna die here. Boxing is just a stressful thing for me, I don't enjoy competing I just do it because I think that is a thing/job I have to do. I think I have to do it to be a strong guy/honorable guy in the world.
If I was able to go wrestling matches, I would enjoy so much. But again I don't know what to do, I just want to keep going in boxing. I would enjoy BJJ because I can do a professional career in it (like one championship), but there is no gym at my area.
I want to think I won't be in CTE Situation but even the legend Muhammed Ali got the CTE so this is a great possibility to get CTE right?
When I ask to my coach about brain damage, he said: No, it won't happen LOL
I don't know about keep going or giving up.
I saw somebody asked to Tristan Tate (I know he is not a good guy, he is brother of Andrew Tate, but he is MMA/Kickboxing Fighter) about CTE in Internet and Tristan told: "Yes, it is risky but a man should know how to fight no matter what risks are."
By the way, my boxing coach's style that is taught to us is a type of CTE
The style is: "We don't use dodging punches so much (you can use but our coach doesnt teach it well), we usually take them to our gloves and that gloves pushes the damage to our head of course."
The problem is not about style. My coach takes us to national competition and only one person got championship. I and others lost the first match in tournament. I don't think our coach see our mistakes while fighting. He never spoke about my mistakes after I lost. He only told: "You weren't yourself in the match, you were better at sparring match." I never fixed my mistakes after competition and that coach asked to me to compete in a professional organization (a K-1 Kickboxing night for young kickboxers) after 1 month
. I didn't fix my mistakes and I don't know how to throw knee and spinning backfist (K-1 is including knee and spinning backfists but we don't practice them in sparring due to they are so powerful strikings). So, I told to my coach I am not ready and I didn't compete.
Even I live in Turkey, I don't think Turkey is good in sports. I have to go USA, Russia, Thailand, etc.
And, what do you think about things I wrote?
I searched about Alexander Karelin, he is so strong but MMA Fighters like Jon Jones, Tom Aspinall, Francis Ngannou would beat him.
I am thinking about to go Russia to study after 3 years by the way. I can do any sport I want at Russia.
Thanks to you by the way because your answers are important to me.