hopeless

[Mike1]

Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

 

[Shan823]

You do have ser[/IMG]</var>ad the joyofsatan website more. Study it.   Hail our Creator God Satan.
From: Mike <mleskela@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2012 1:44 PM
Subject: hopeless

  Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td val[/IMG]   Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

 

[Shan823]

Ha[/IMG]</var>
  Hail our Creator God Satan.
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: ; "mleskela@..." <mleskela@...
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2012 6:53 PM
Subject: Re: hopeless
 

<td vAl[/IMG] First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android[/TD]

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td vAl[/IMG]  Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

 

[Anonymous]

Mike,  keep trying the meditations, and don't worry if they aren't perfect. I am sure that one day you will realize that you made progress all along. I found inner strength that I didn't know I had the other day. I am sure that my regular meditations helped me get through things. I have much more confidence and sense of worth that I did in the past. I am more likely to believe positive things about myself from doing mediation. Hail enki!
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: ; "mleskela@..." <mleskela@...
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2012 6:53 PM
Subject: Re: hopeless
 

<td style="font:[/IMG]First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td style="font:[/IMG]   Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

 

[[email protected]]

Well if yer no longer on drugs I'd say that's one thing right there that proves Father is looking out for you.
I posted previous messages on anger issues before and people here mentioned something on meditation and/or chakras (I forget which). 
So I can say that if you like me have anger issues then there are ways of handling that
As far as other issues go they will be resolved in time.
You got a roof over yer head and yer not on the streets I'd thank Father for that.
Makes sense to me as I am one that has endured hard times in late 2011 especially as some here know with me being kicked out of my previous place of living.  But throughput those times I almost gave up hope but then remembered that Satan and his demons would not want that for me.  So it was then that I basically in a manner of speaking held my head high (best I could at the time anyway) and pressed on with my life.  
And yes eventually things got better.
For you at some point they will too
Best of luck and best wishes my friend 
Hail Satan
Sent from my iPhone

On May 24, 2012, at 3:53 PM, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

 

<td val[/IMG]First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td val[/IMG]   Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

=

 

[chris41226]

Father duz not look at our lives as we do he see past all our flaws he see our soul the truth and potential we have i understand how you feel and trust me nun of our brothers and sisters could hate you our Father looks deep than flesh or how we look and wants us to find our own path i am vary recently dedicated but threw out my life Father has looked out for me the key is to be strong and and look past the surface and know you are becoming greater the social life will get better over time in being newly dedicated its sometimes best to be alone at first so you can grow and gain the confidence its hard and its vary hard for me as well but over time you can find being alone can have its vary pluses in life the relaxation and peace you find in it helps you open up more Father duz not judge us bc he knows we are doing our vary best and adjusting at our own rate the key is to find peace even if its in pain that peace will give you control even in your darkest hours and Father is always there to protect you and so are the gods of old

HAIL FATHER SATAN THE ONE TRUE GOD
MAY HE AND THE GODS OF OLD WATCH OVER YOU AND US ALL

--- In , "Mike" <mleskela@... wrote:

Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

 

[ToZ Forum Contributions]

    Self estee[/IMG]</var>

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td vAl[/IMG]  Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

=

 

[[email protected]]

"If the clergy and members hate you..." What gives you that idea? No social life...just to put things into perspective for you, the Only social life I have comes through this phone, as long as I can pay the bill w/ my social security checks I get. I can't even get out this house in my wheelchair I'm sittin in after breaking my back and becoming a paraplegic! I'm sure you've read about auras, people will see you how you see yourself. Either that or its that people see you a certain way via the enemy (now that your a threat to them they wouldn't be doing their job if they Didn't screw with you!) And its their "opinion" of you that your aura is picking up on and makin you feel like shit about yourself!
All your "issues" hitting so close to home make me want to comment, yet can't quit find the words right now. If you'd like, email me directly and we can "speak" one-on-one. It just may profit both of us. Dark Blessings, and..
HAIL FATHER SATAN!!!Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... Sender: Date: Thu, 24 May 2012 15:53:44 -0700 (PDT)To: ; mleskela@...<mleskela@...ReplyTo: Subject: Re: hopeless
 

<td val[/IMG]First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td val[/IMG]   Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

 

[felix ngige]

hi bro. one love Father Satan is always with us. if u read through the joswebsite, u wil notice thatwe r advised that not all of us are the same. we are diferent individuals may be drinking alot made holes in ur aura but they will heal with tyme. dont give up coz Satan loves us all. jst go stape nby step remember that Father has a life 2 give 2 us after this so please dnt be woried abt time. read and learn more from the site. Hail Satan and all the Demons and Demonessess.
------------------------------

On Thu, May 24, 2012 8:19 PM PDT chris41226 wrote:

Father duz not look at our lives as we do he see past all our flaws he see our soul the truth and potential we have i understand how you feel and trust me nun of our brothers and sisters could hate you our Father looks deep than flesh or how we look and wants us to find our own path i am vary recently dedicated but threw out my life Father has looked out for me the key is to be strong and and look past the surface and know you are becoming greater the social life will get better over time in being newly dedicated its sometimes best to be alone at first so you can grow and gain the confidence its hard and its vary hard for me as well but over time you can find being alone can have its vary pluses in life the relaxation and peace you find in it helps you open up more Father duz not judge us bc he knows we are doing our vary best and adjusting at our own rate the key is to find peace even if its in pain that peace will give you control even in your
darkest hours and Father is always there to protect you and so are the gods of old

HAIL FATHER SATAN THE ONE TRUE GOD
MAY HE AND THE GODS OF OLD WATCH OVER YOU AND US ALL


--- In , "Mike" <mleskela@... wrote:

Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going
nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Every time I see your post my friend my heart goes out you.But isn't it great that you can still reach Godhood with out the use of your body.Its all in the mind brother.And from what I have read you are advancing too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: eremoslukos8@... <eremoslukos8@...;
To: ;
Subject: Re: hopeless
Sent: Fri, May 25, 2012 4:02:39 PM

<td val[/IMG]   "If the clergy and members hate you..." What gives you that idea? No social life...just to put things into perspective for you, the Only social life I have comes through this phone, as long as I can pay the bill w/ my social security checks I get. I can't even get out this house in my wheelchair I'm sittin in after breaking my back and becoming a paraplegic! I'm sure you've read about auras, people will see you how you see yourself. Either that or its that people see you a certain way via the enemy (now that your a threat to them they wouldn't be doing their job if they Didn't screw with you!) And its their "opinion" of you that your aura is picking up on and makin you feel like shit about yourself!
All your "issues" hitting so close to home make me want to comment, yet can't quit find the words right now. If you'd like, email me directly and we can "speak" one-on-one. It just may profit both of us. Dark Blessings, and..
HAIL FATHER SATAN!!!Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T<hr> From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... Sender: Date: Thu, 24 May 2012 15:53:44 -0700 (PDT) To: ; mleskela@...<mleskela@... ReplyTo: Subject: Re: hopeless
 

<td val[/IMG]First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td val[/IMG]   Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

[/TD]

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]You are and inspiration to us all never forget that brother.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: eremoslukos8@... <eremoslukos8@...;
To: ;
Subject: Re: hopeless
Sent: Fri, May 25, 2012 4:02:39 PM

<td val[/IMG]   "If the clergy and members hate you..." What gives you that idea? No social life...just to put things into perspective for you, the Only social life I have comes through this phone, as long as I can pay the bill w/ my social security checks I get. I can't even get out this house in my wheelchair I'm sittin in after breaking my back and becoming a paraplegic! I'm sure you've read about auras, people will see you how you see yourself. Either that or its that people see you a certain way via the enemy (now that your a threat to them they wouldn't be doing their job if they Didn't screw with you!) And its their "opinion" of you that your aura is picking up on and makin you feel like shit about yourself!
All your "issues" hitting so close to home make me want to comment, yet can't quit find the words right now. If you'd like, email me directly and we can "speak" one-on-one. It just may profit both of us. Dark Blessings, and..
HAIL FATHER SATAN!!!Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T<hr> From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... Sender: Date: Thu, 24 May 2012 15:53:44 -0700 (PDT) To: ; mleskela@...<mleskela@... ReplyTo: Subject: Re: hopeless
 

<td val[/IMG]First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td val[/IMG]   Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

[/TD]

[/TD]

 

[[email protected]]

Thank you, Brian! I honestly hadn't picked up on that! Thank you so much for helping me w/ my own self-esteem issues! Which honestly are picking up them selves!
HA LORD SATAN!!!Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... Sender: Date: Sat, 26 May 2012 10:25:55 -0700 (PDT)To: ; eremoslukos8@...<eremoslukos8@...ReplyTo: Subject: Re: hopeless
 

<td val[/IMG]You are and inspiration to us all never forget that brother.

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From: eremoslukos8@... <eremoslukos8@...;
To: ;
Subject: Re: hopeless
Sent: Fri, May 25, 2012 4:02:39 PM

<td val[/IMG]   "If the clergy and members hate you..." What gives you that idea? No social life...just to put things into perspective for you, the Only social life I have comes through this phone, as long as I can pay the bill w/ my social security checks I get. I can't even get out this house in my wheelchair I'm sittin in after breaking my back and becoming a paraplegic! I'm sure you've read about auras, people will see you how you see yourself. Either that or its that people see you a certain way via the enemy (now that your a threat to them they wouldn't be doing their job if they Didn't screw with you!) And its their "opinion" of you that your aura is picking up on and makin you feel like shit about yourself!
All your "issues" hitting so close to home make me want to comment, yet can't quit find the words right now. If you'd like, email me directly and we can "speak" one-on-one. It just may profit both of us. Dark Blessings, and..
HAIL FATHER SATAN!!!Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T<hr> From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... Sender: Date: Thu, 24 May 2012 15:53:44 -0700 (PDT) To: ; mleskela@...<mleskela@... ReplyTo: Subject: Re: hopeless
 

<td val[/IMG]First of all you are not hopeless.Enki does not put a time on how long we have to reach Godhood.Sounds like you are doing better then I did my first year.I lost my house of 12 yrs my job of 12 and my wife of 4 years my very first year of living this life.Now granted I have a new and better house I have a better job as a security guard and I am marrying a fellow Spiritual Satanist this year.But in all of it I never lost hope that Enki had a better life for me.Sometimes Father has to rearrange our lives a bit and that takes time.But He always has something better for us in the end.So keep your spirits up and keep doing the best you can.this could your year too.

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From: Mike <mleskela@...;
To: ;
Subject: hopeless
Sent: Thu, May 24, 2012 5:44:25 PM

<td val[/IMG]   Im really having some serious difficulties in my life right now.Since my dedication about a year ago my life has approved somewhat,I have my own apartment now and trying to rebuild my life.That must mean Satan is looking out.Before dedicating,I was living on the streets for 6 years drinking and using drugs and didnt know much about Satanism until I stumbled upon the Jos site last year.I was a real lowlife thug at the time and didnt even think Satan would give me the time a day because of my place in society.The bad news is Im still having a hard time getting this meditations down.I cant seem to get a trance and Ive been meditating every day,Ive skipped days here and there,but still I dont know what the problem is.Im not getting any younger and if I dont reach Godhead soon,Satan probably will wash his hands of me.The enemy is still fucking with me and has me convinced that Satan and The Gods dont like me.I am trying to stay strong,but still not going nowhere as far as my meditations go.I still have alot of hate and anger in me.My social life sucks and I cant seem to meet people in my area.Im real stupid and ugly and I dont think people would like me anyway.Seriously people I have real low self esteem issues right now.If the clergy and members on this site hate me I would think Satan would feel the same way.Im hoping this message goes through because I have some serious issues right now.

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