First time I joined, And psycho moms.

[idkomgwtf5]

It's amazing! After dedication and meditations it was the best feeling in the world! Nothing could stop me or anything at all. Like there are literally zero problems I could think of while I was still on top of everything Then, My parents found out once. I got in huge huge trouble and my mom is seriously psycho, like mental hospital psycho. She's been there before. And it wasn't good... Like she hit me so damn hard it's like she just, agh. ew. And so I wouldn't let that bring me down. I "said" I would stop, I built her trust up, and I fucked up and she found out again. I didn't go on here after that, maybe once. I was scared to death of her finding out. I tried to remember the meditations. And I did, But then these weird attackish thought things kept popping up, and it just made me weaker because I let loose on the meditations and I was like oh, well I'll just not meditate until they go away, because I read this thing that you should do something else to get your mind off of it. so I did, And DON"T do that. I doesnt help and makes it alot worse. A "while" became days, days became weeks, and then not doing it for so long screws you up bad. Like the thoughts don't go away if you stop that long, itll get worse. And the thoughts are based on all of your fears or something. I don't know, but they'll make you think just a buncha torturing shit. Then when you go to fix it after months, It's harder then ever!...for me anyway My point is, Even if your scared to death of someone finding out like a psycho bi polar mom who would chase you with a knife, and call the cops on you if you when out side of the house, and your dad is too afraid to get a divorce because he'll lose all of his money, and she'll treat you like shit, tell all of her friends about how much of a freak you are, get rid of everything in your room, even your bed and lock you in there, Don't stop meditating! Because that's what my mom would do, haha. It's so fucked up it's funny. I don't want anyone to find out because that's what would happen, not that i'm embarrased of the religion or ashamed or whatever. because i'm not. And I can't tell me friends, that'll get to my brother, and thatll lead to my family. sooooo.......Just don't stop meditating. no matter what. Hide your identity on here as much as possible on here, delete your history if you have a mom like mine. Because quitting meditating for just even a month or something will screw you up kind of, unless your a bit different and smarter and stronger. But if your a beginner...I don't know just don't. Nothing good happens from it.

 

[Metal]

--- In [email protected], "idkomgwtf5" <idkomgwtf5@... wrote: It's amazing! After dedication and meditations it was the best feeling in the world! Nothing could stop me or anything at all. Like there are literally zero problems I could think of while I was still on top of everything Then, My parents found out once. I got in huge huge trouble and my mom is seriously psycho, like mental hospital psycho. She's been there before. And it wasn't good... Like she hit me so damn hard it's like she just, agh. ew. And so I wouldn't let that bring me down. I "said" I would stop, I built her trust up, and I fucked up and she found out again. I didn't go on here after that, maybe once. I was scared to death of her finding out. I tried to remember the meditations. And I did, But then these weird attackish thought things kept popping up, and it just made me weaker because I let loose on the meditations and I was like oh, well I'll just not meditate until they go away, because I read this thing that you should do something else to get your mind off of it. so I did, And DON"T do that. I doesnt help and makes it alot worse. A "while" became days, days became weeks, and then not doing it for so long screws you up bad. Like the thoughts don't go away if you stop that long, itll get worse. And the thoughts are based on all of your fears or something. I don't know, but they'll make you think just a buncha torturing shit. Then when you go to fix it after months, It's harder then ever!...for me anyway My point is, Even if your scared to death of someone finding out like a psycho bi polar mom who would chase you with a knife, and call the cops on you if you when out side of the house, and your dad is too afraid to get a divorce because he'll lose all of his money, and she'll treat you like shit, tell all of her friends about how much of a freak you are, get rid of everything in your room, even your bed and lock you in there, Don't stop meditating! Because that's what my mom would do, haha. It's so fucked up it's funny. I don't want anyone to find out because that's what would happen, not that i'm embarrased of the religion or ashamed or whatever. because i'm not. And I can't tell me friends, that'll get to my brother, and thatll lead to my family. sooooo.......Just don't stop meditating. no matter what. Hide your identity on here as much as possible on here, delete your history if you have a mom like mine. Because quitting meditating for just even a month or something will screw you up kind of, unless your a bit different and smarter and stronger. But if your a beginner...I don't know just don't. Nothing good happens from it. That's the spirit darkling! I read it all, and that would fucking happen if my dad finds out. My mom would probbably just tell me to go fuck myself. Anyways, it's good that you realised that stopping with the meditation won't help you chase the shtty feeling away. I told mum I'm meditating ("oh nice. now fuck off dear, Oprah is on."), but not about being a Zevist. They'd kick me out or call a freaking priest or sth. Hold on 'till you get a house on your own, I keep telling myself every moring.

 

[[email protected]]

Adam : Not at all a good situation, this is whats fucked up with society we get our sense of morality form our environment and people usually arent open to this. Hey do whatever you need to get help with this i believe someone posted a phone# that could be of use, im not completely aware of how your feeling for one my parents have always been open and for fact however one grew up with Xianity they do not follow it i havent had a worry but hey if you need answers or need someone to talk to my mind and ears are open just try to stay positive and do what you know to be right and youll find some guidance through this shit, stay on top of things opportunities will find you. --- In [email protected], "idkomgwtf5" <idkomgwtf5@... wrote: It's amazing! After dedication and meditations it was the best feeling in the world! Nothing could stop me or anything at all. Like there are literally zero problems I could think of while I was still on top of everything Then, My parents found out once. I got in huge huge trouble and my mom is seriously psycho, like mental hospital psycho. She's been there before. And it wasn't good... Like she hit me so damn hard it's like she just, agh. ew. And so I wouldn't let that bring me down. I "said" I would stop, I built her trust up, and I fucked up and she found out again. I didn't go on here after that, maybe once. I was scared to death of her finding out. I tried to remember the meditations. And I did, But then these weird attackish thought things kept popping up, and it just made me weaker because I let loose on the meditations and I was like oh, well I'll just not meditate until they go away, because I read this thing that you should do something else to get your mind off of it. so I did, And DON"T do that. I doesnt help and makes it alot worse. A "while" became days, days became weeks, and then not doing it for so long screws you up bad. Like the thoughts don't go away if you stop that long, itll get worse. And the thoughts are based on all of your fears or something. I don't know, but they'll make you think just a buncha torturing shit. Then when you go to fix it after months, It's harder then ever!...for me anyway My point is, Even if your scared to death of someone finding out like a psycho bi polar mom who would chase you with a knife, and call the cops on you if you when out side of the house, and your dad is too afraid to get a divorce because he'll lose all of his money, and she'll treat you like shit, tell all of her friends about how much of a freak you are, get rid of everything in your room, even your bed and lock you in there, Don't stop meditating! Because that's what my mom would do, haha. It's so fucked up it's funny. I don't want anyone to find out because that's what would happen, not that i'm embarrased of the religion or ashamed or whatever. because i'm not. And I can't tell me friends, that'll get to my brother, and thatll lead to my family. sooooo.......Just don't stop meditating. no matter what. Hide your identity on here as much as possible on here, delete your history if you have a mom like mine. Because quitting meditating for just even a month or something will screw you up kind of, unless your a bit different and smarter and stronger. But if your a beginner...I don't know just don't. Nothing good happens from it.

 

[Sorika]

You are right. You should not stop meditating, and most likely the bad things is an angel playing on your fears trying to scare you from our father. By meditating through out it and keeping Satan in your heart you will grow enough to fight the angel away. Im sorry bout your home life and screwed up mother, If you ever have a question and can not get on here to ask your more than welcome to shoot me an email or something. I check email often and am more than happy to respond. Jo Ave Zeus --- In [email protected], "idkomgwtf5" <idkomgwtf5@... wrote: It's amazing! After dedication and meditations it was the best feeling in the world! Nothing could stop me or anything at all. Like there are literally zero problems I could think of while I was still on top of everything Then, My parents found out once. I got in huge huge trouble and my mom is seriously psycho, like mental hospital psycho. She's been there before. And it wasn't good... Like she hit me so damn hard it's like she just, agh. ew. And so I wouldn't let that bring me down. I "said" I would stop, I built her trust up, and I fucked up and she found out again. I didn't go on here after that, maybe once. I was scared to death of her finding out. I tried to remember the meditations. And I did, But then these weird attackish thought things kept popping up, and it just made me weaker because I let loose on the meditations and I was like oh, well I'll just not meditate until they go away, because I read this thing that you should do something else to get your mind off of it. so I did, And DON"T do that. I doesnt help and makes it alot worse. A "while" became days, days became weeks, and then not doing it for so long screws you up bad. Like the thoughts don't go away if you stop that long, itll get worse. And the thoughts are based on all of your fears or something. I don't know, but they'll make you think just a buncha torturing shit. Then when you go to fix it after months, It's harder then ever!...for me anyway My point is, Even if your scared to death of someone finding out like a psycho bi polar mom who would chase you with a knife, and call the cops on you if you when out side of the house, and your dad is too afraid to get a divorce because he'll lose all of his money, and she'll treat you like shit, tell all of her friends about how much of a freak you are, get rid of everything in your room, even your bed and lock you in there, Don't stop meditating! Because that's what my mom would do, haha. It's so fucked up it's funny. I don't want anyone to find out because that's what would happen, not that i'm embarrased of the religion or ashamed or whatever. because i'm not. And I can't tell me friends, that'll get to my brother, and thatll lead to my family. sooooo.......Just don't stop meditating. no matter what. Hide your identity on here as much as possible on here, delete your history if you have a mom like mine. Because quitting meditating for just even a month or something will screw you up kind of, unless your a bit different and smarter and stronger. But if your a beginner...I don't know just don't. Nothing good happens from it.