I JUST had an insane couple of minutes...
I was lying in my bed, fantasizing and imagining about things(80-90% of the time relating to spiritual satanism), when i thought about the day when we are God's(once more, like a 10000000th time

). I thought about myself going to different planets(planets where there were other humans by the Gods) and appearing like a God to them and just saying some things to them.
Right after that, i had like 5-10 seconds of a thought(somehow)that... What about my life? What about ALL the suffering i've gone through and all the times i promised Father Satan, my One True King, One True God, One True Father, One True Creator, that i WILL, that i ´´WILL`` do *ANYTHING* if you help me get through this(feeling, pain, emotion etc etc suffering)... And then, when it were ALWAYS over...
...
...
Nothing...
...
...
Just nothing...
...
I promised over and over and over again to my Creator, my King, my Father, my God... my Savior and Protector, that i will do ANYTHING, if He would help me... But i didn't... I realized after suffering from Anxiety and panic disorder for about 9 years now, that ALL those times, all THIS time that He has helped me cure my illness... That i really haven't given ANYTHING back for Him... Anything.
I say that i've done 8036 FINAL RTR's until today from 21.7.2018... But how many have i ACTUALLY done? How many in regards to ALL the power that ALL the Sons and Daughters of the One True King do... How much have I accumulated to that in power? I dream it being in like the 10-20%

:lol: ... But what is the actual reality? 0.00000001%?
I always dreamed that i would be like among the VERY high ranked people when the 4th Reich will be established. When this WHOLE war WILL be over... But now... I just hope that i could even be in the most lowest rank possible in the 4th Reich... Just as long as i can see that... Beautiful Kingdom of Ultimate and ETERNAL Peace and Harmony... And EVERYTHING... Good
The True Names Kingdom