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Family Values in Normal Life And Zevism

Shadowcat said:
Texas haha, yes lol i know how that is. Born and raised :lol: after Living in NL for 6 and a half years moved back home here. I gotta say. damn i missed the Texas heat

Yes, I absolutely love the warmth and because I live in another state, I almost always go up the mountains every summer to get some sun and that "country" vibe. I miss the Cicadas and frogs croaking at night :< The squirrels and raccoons I loved those critters. The mockingjays!! I can still remember some of their songs.
I dont miss the mosquitos and tree roaches xD but i wouldnt mind seeing a Banana spider ;P

The warm rain, the smell in the air, the dewy mornings. climbing the massive trees..
Picnics in the shade.. The wetlands..

I was actually thinking today on my way to work about a time I visited a wildlife reservation in Texas as a young boy, I was considering if this would actually be a good career for me to persue. I can see myself following three career choices and im sure ill have the opportunity to explore all of them in the near future.

Also, I have been in 3 hurricanes, and have even got to be in the eye of a hurricane during the daylight it was INCREDIBLE! I owe much of my love of Nature to growing up in the South.

I believe it was stated someday Astarte will return and assist in the restoration of the earth. I hope to return to Texas, and am always asking her for assistance so that I can someday take on the important task of restoring our planet.

Something funny came up recently, I was walking on a trail around midnight, and honestly got a little creeped out. So I imagined Astarte, Satan, Azazel, and Baalzebul, walking with me.
Then I remembered how Xians think they are walking with Jewsus.
And I busted out laughing imagining them just beating up Jewsus xDDDD
 
I haven't read the comments yet. Just HP HC's original post. I feel compelled to comment on that.

Reading through the original post, I feel really grateful that much of my Asian culture still have strong family and ancestral values/beliefs. Like what HPHC mentioned, in my culture, we have a head of the family any also head of the village. Sometimes more than one. Most of the time, it is the grandparents who are head of the family line. If they aren't living, then that would another elder in the family.

Even those from the East who live in the West live and breathe by this tradition and belief. The East consider it "good karma" to respect the elders and seek their wisdom and guidance. Just the other day, my mother taught the importance of respecting elders and parents, not to do or say something that brings sorrow and tears to their eyes. We consider this a great "sin". Saturn is a key player here. His wisdom is great, especially on family.
 
Bravera said:
Shadowcat said:
Texas haha, yes lol i know how that is. Born and raised :lol: after Living in NL for 6 and a half years moved back home here. I gotta say. damn i missed the Texas heat

Yes, I absolutely love the warmth and because I live in another state, I almost always go up the mountains every summer to get some sun and that "country" vibe. I miss the Cicadas and frogs croaking at night :< The squirrels and raccoons I loved those critters. The mockingjays!! I can still remember some of their songs.
I dont miss the mosquitos and tree roaches xD but i wouldnt mind seeing a Banana spider ;P

The warm rain, the smell in the air, the dewy mornings. climbing the massive trees..
Picnics in the shade.. The wetlands..

I was actually thinking today on my way to work about a time I visited a wildlife reservation in Texas as a young boy, I was considering if this would actually be a good career for me to persue. I can see myself following three career choices and im sure ill have the opportunity to explore all of them in the near future.

Also, I have been in 3 hurricanes, and have even got to be in the eye of a hurricane during the daylight it was INCREDIBLE! I owe much of my love of Nature to growing up in the South.

I believe it was stated someday Astarte will return and assist in the restoration of the earth. I hope to return to Texas, and am always asking her for assistance so that I can someday take on the important task of restoring our planet.

Something funny came up recently, I was walking on a trail around midnight, and honestly got a little creeped out. So I imagined Astarte, Satan, Azazel, and Baalzebul, walking with me.
Then I remembered how Xians think they are walking with Jewsus.
And I busted out laughing imagining them just beating up Jewsus xDDDD

LOL you are nuts like my uncle haha. He did that one time in the middle of a hurricane clinging to a tree and was taking pictures.

Oh me and my bro had a ball with all the critters down here. We were always catching frogs toads and lizards and whatever else. sometimes we had a bigass snake in the backyard that my fatcat would do fuck all about :lol:

We had an opossum and raccoon frequent our garage because of the cat food. once all 3 of them, the opossum racoon and one of my 7 cats was sitting there together just staring. we had a zoo lol.

I was always climbing trees and getting dirty. I even had some neighborhood kids work with me on building a clubhouse haha. even had some of my first construction work incidents back then too even before i started welding! lmao :lol:

i brought my ex to the states a couple times and he was nuts for squirrels
 
Shadowcat said:
Stormblood said:
Having a child is perhaps the biggest lifechanging descision in a persons life. because its about another life

Holy words! As long as parents are in charge of their child's welfare, the mentality should be that their kid is above them in the list of priorities. And, possibly, even beyond that, as that's what family is about: putting others' needs above yours. Unfortunately, the mindset new generations, including mine, are being brainwashed into by the enemy is that of the individual above everything else and different degrees of alienation from family, friends, etc, which is full manifestation of their curse books. Some people don't even bother masking they don't care, others approach people with fake smiles and empty words, which end up doing even more damage when they don't translate into concordant actions, because they fabricate false hope and reassurance. I should be thankful I didn't receive any of that fake support in my birth country. Were I born elsewhere like in Britain or other places like that, I could've grown up a very angry or very sad boy.
 
Stormblood said:
Shadowcat said:
Stormblood said:
Having a child is perhaps the biggest lifechanging descision in a persons life. because its about another life

Holy words! As long as parents are in charge of their child's welfare, the mentality should be that their kid is above them in the list of priorities. And, possibly, even beyond that, as that's what family is about: putting others' needs above yours. Unfortunately, the mindset new generations, including mine, are being brainwashed into by the enemy is that of the individual above everything else and different degrees of alienation from family, friends, etc, which is full manifestation of their curse books. Some people don't even bother masking they don't care, others approach people with fake smiles and empty words, which end up doing even more damage when they don't translate into concordant actions, because they fabricate false hope and reassurance. I should be thankful I didn't receive any of that fake support in my birth country. Were I born elsewhere like in Britain or other places like that, I could've grown up a very angry or very sad boy.

Family unit is the core of society, how it will function and how it will behave which is why the enemy attacks it so harshly. If the family unit is broken so is everything else. Broken people raising more broken people makes for a broken society. If people knew how to parent properly and didnt have so many issues themselves there would also be less people in the criminal system for example. If husband and wife do not know how to behave toward one another in a way that makes a lasting deep hospitible home and refuge in all ways then the child will always grow up broken in someway. Sadly this is many of us. People aspiring to have familes should hold themselves to the highest standards in all ways. Hyperconsumerism and conditioning for "fast food satisfaction" definately has had a contribution in all this as well as the mass dumbing down. I too hate it. No one cares for deep things that lasts anymore.
 
I learned the concept of family here. Other than that, my family sucks. My current life is crap. I know I'm pathetic. I don't have a peaceful place or freedom to go, but it doesn't matter. Our intention is to fight and stand tall, that's what I live for. We are a family .
 
Shadowcat said:
Bravera said:
Shadowcat said:
Texas haha, yes lol i know how that is. Born and raised :lol: after Living in NL for 6 and a half years moved back home here. I gotta say. damn i missed the Texas heat

Yes, I absolutely love the warmth and because I live in another state, I almost always go up the mountains every summer to get some sun and that "country" vibe. I miss the Cicadas and frogs croaking at night :< The squirrels and raccoons I loved those critters. The mockingjays!! I can still remember some of their songs.
I dont miss the mosquitos and tree roaches xD but i wouldnt mind seeing a Banana spider ;P

The warm rain, the smell in the air, the dewy mornings. climbing the massive trees..
Picnics in the shade.. The wetlands..

I was actually thinking today on my way to work about a time I visited a wildlife reservation in Texas as a young boy, I was considering if this would actually be a good career for me to persue. I can see myself following three career choices and im sure ill have the opportunity to explore all of them in the near future.

Also, I have been in 3 hurricanes, and have even got to be in the eye of a hurricane during the daylight it was INCREDIBLE! I owe much of my love of Nature to growing up in the South.

I believe it was stated someday Astarte will return and assist in the restoration of the earth. I hope to return to Texas, and am always asking her for assistance so that I can someday take on the important task of restoring our planet.

Something funny came up recently, I was walking on a trail around midnight, and honestly got a little creeped out. So I imagined Astarte, Satan, Azazel, and Baalzebul, walking with me.
Then I remembered how Xians think they are walking with Jewsus.
And I busted out laughing imagining them just beating up Jewsus xDDDD

LOL you are nuts like my uncle haha. He did that one time in the middle of a hurricane clinging to a tree and was taking pictures.

Oh me and my bro had a ball with all the critters down here. We were always catching frogs toads and lizards and whatever else. sometimes we had a bigass snake in the backyard that my fatcat would do fuck all about :lol:

We had an opossum and raccoon frequent our garage because of the cat food. once all 3 of them, the opossum racoon and one of my 7 cats was sitting there together just staring. we had a zoo lol.

I was always climbing trees and getting dirty. I even had some neighborhood kids work with me on building a clubhouse haha. even had some of my first construction work incidents back then too even before i started welding! lmao :lol:

i brought my ex to the states a couple times and he was nuts for squirrels

Ill never forget the time me and my brother had brought our gamecube to play games until the power went out during hurricane Rita, we forgot all about it until around midnight, and as soon as we plugged it in, the power went out xD

We stayed during Hurricane Ike, most people left the area after what happened with Katrina :cry: . Our power was out for a week, once the hurricane was over, me and my sister explored for hours making campsites under trees and experimenting with fire, the National Guard gave out MREs and we enjoyed them alot :p
Also during that hurricane we was driving around and the town was empty, my "grandpa" stopped at a redlight, and we was like, "just go", then as soon as we started driving we saw a cop xD Our favorite park was completely flooded!
During that hurricane I remember the back door slamming open and closed, I was thinking it was a bum and grabbed and big kitchen knife and went to investigate... :roll:

One time me and my sister got all suited up in oversized boots, socks, shirts, went under our house for an exploration, the dogs would spend alot of time down there. Sometimes we would get bored in the middle of the night and go hunting for tree roaches.

My favorite dog ive ever had was a Boston Terrier, everytime we let her out she would chase what I thought was raccoons out of the bushes, but now I think they were probably just Squirrels, she chased down a herd of horses one time the crazy dog. She learned how to climb a wire fence, and I would chase her down, worried she was gonna get ran over.

Xianity stole alot of my childhood from me, and I vow to destroy it. Luckily though, in my freshman year, my best friend was a skater and I joined the "Skater/Metal" clique. Other than Family, My love for Nature/Animals, and my Pride as a Texan, Skateboarding and Metal has stuck with me to this day.

Im sure theres lots of Texan SS, but im sure glad I got to meet ya, I very muchso consider you family ^_^
 
Sila said:
I learned the concept of family here. Other than that, my family sucks. My current life is crap. I know I'm pathetic. I don't have a peaceful place or freedom to go, but it doesn't matter. Our intention is to fight and stand tall, that's what I live for. We are a family .

You can build everything for a happier life, hold on to your courage.
 
Giszmon666 said:
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:

How homosexual people will make family?

Homosexuals are currently living a solitary lifestyle or only around other homosexuals, simply because everyone else is not having a bigger family. The few family values that exist are in circles like Republicans etc, many of which are bible infested. And they therefore distance their own family over this.

The liberal infested gay community, instructs modern gays to backstab their family either in retaliation, and the cicle of jewish hate destroys families. Enmity builds up to where family can't stand. So families divide.

They would be uncles, cousins, have children to look after from their other brothers or sisters, or from the people they would be with and their family, and life would be everywhere. They would enjoy all the family life but without the hassle of directly raising children, because they would belong as anyone else.

Childlessness is not an issue solely of homosexuals at this point. It's a larger reaching issue that is plaguing Western civilization.
 
Shadowcat said:
Bravera said:
Shadowcat said:
Texas haha, yes lol i know how that is. Born and raised :lol: after Living in NL for 6 and a half years moved back home here. I gotta say. damn i missed the Texas heat

Yes, I absolutely love the warmth and because I live in another state, I almost always go up the mountains every summer to get some sun and that "country" vibe. I miss the Cicadas and frogs croaking at night :< The squirrels and raccoons I loved those critters. The mockingjays!! I can still remember some of their songs.
I dont miss the mosquitos and tree roaches xD but i wouldnt mind seeing a Banana spider ;P

The warm rain, the smell in the air, the dewy mornings. climbing the massive trees..
Picnics in the shade.. The wetlands..

I was actually thinking today on my way to work about a time I visited a wildlife reservation in Texas as a young boy, I was considering if this would actually be a good career for me to persue. I can see myself following three career choices and im sure ill have the opportunity to explore all of them in the near future.

Also, I have been in 3 hurricanes, and have even got to be in the eye of a hurricane during the daylight it was INCREDIBLE! I owe much of my love of Nature to growing up in the South.

I believe it was stated someday Astarte will return and assist in the restoration of the earth. I hope to return to Texas, and am always asking her for assistance so that I can someday take on the important task of restoring our planet.

Something funny came up recently, I was walking on a trail around midnight, and honestly got a little creeped out. So I imagined Astarte, Satan, Azazel, and Baalzebul, walking with me.
Then I remembered how Xians think they are walking with Jewsus.
And I busted out laughing imagining them just beating up Jewsus xDDDD

LOL you are nuts like my uncle haha. He did that one time in the middle of a hurricane clinging to a tree and was taking pictures.

Oh me and my bro had a ball with all the critters down here. We were always catching frogs toads and lizards and whatever else. sometimes we had a bigass snake in the backyard that my fatcat would do fuck all about :lol:

We had an opossum and raccoon frequent our garage because of the cat food. once all 3 of them, the opossum racoon and one of my 7 cats was sitting there together just staring. we had a zoo lol.

I was always climbing trees and getting dirty. I even had some neighborhood kids work with me on building a clubhouse haha. even had some of my first construction work incidents back then too even before i started welding! lmao :lol:

i brought my ex to the states a couple times and he was nuts for squirrels

It sounds so nice.
Do you have bears where you live?
I really want to see a bear in real life once and a raccoon.
I saw some on Tv and it seems they are very naughty things.
We have a wardhog and its just as naughty. It attacked my girlfriend in the bathroom and she fell in the bath haha. When i got there she was so scared and had tears in her eyes shame.
 
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
Sila said:
I learned the concept of family here. Other than that, my family sucks. My current life is crap. I know I'm pathetic. I don't have a peaceful place or freedom to go, but it doesn't matter. Our intention is to fight and stand tall, that's what I live for. We are a family .
Thanks for your answer. I will strive for the best
You can build everything for a happier life, hold on to your courage.
 
One Wire Phenomenon said:
Shadowcat said:
Bravera said:
Yes, I absolutely love the warmth and because I live in another state, I almost always go up the mountains every summer to get some sun and that "country" vibe. I miss the Cicadas and frogs croaking at night :< The squirrels and raccoons I loved those critters. The mockingjays!! I can still remember some of their songs.
I dont miss the mosquitos and tree roaches xD but i wouldnt mind seeing a Banana spider ;P

The warm rain, the smell in the air, the dewy mornings. climbing the massive trees..
Picnics in the shade.. The wetlands..

I was actually thinking today on my way to work about a time I visited a wildlife reservation in Texas as a young boy, I was considering if this would actually be a good career for me to persue. I can see myself following three career choices and im sure ill have the opportunity to explore all of them in the near future.

Also, I have been in 3 hurricanes, and have even got to be in the eye of a hurricane during the daylight it was INCREDIBLE! I owe much of my love of Nature to growing up in the South.

I believe it was stated someday Astarte will return and assist in the restoration of the earth. I hope to return to Texas, and am always asking her for assistance so that I can someday take on the important task of restoring our planet.

Something funny came up recently, I was walking on a trail around midnight, and honestly got a little creeped out. So I imagined Astarte, Satan, Azazel, and Baalzebul, walking with me.
Then I remembered how Xians think they are walking with Jewsus.
And I busted out laughing imagining them just beating up Jewsus xDDDD

LOL you are nuts like my uncle haha. He did that one time in the middle of a hurricane clinging to a tree and was taking pictures.

Oh me and my bro had a ball with all the critters down here. We were always catching frogs toads and lizards and whatever else. sometimes we had a bigass snake in the backyard that my fatcat would do fuck all about :lol:

We had an opossum and raccoon frequent our garage because of the cat food. once all 3 of them, the opossum racoon and one of my 7 cats was sitting there together just staring. we had a zoo lol.

I was always climbing trees and getting dirty. I even had some neighborhood kids work with me on building a clubhouse haha. even had some of my first construction work incidents back then too even before i started welding! lmao :lol:

i brought my ex to the states a couple times and he was nuts for squirrels

It sounds so nice.
Do you have bears where you live?
I really want to see a bear in real life once and a raccoon.
I saw some on Tv and it seems they are very naughty things.
We have a wardhog and its just as naughty. It attacked my girlfriend in the bathroom and she fell in the bath haha. When i got there she was so scared and had tears in her eyes shame.

No bears ,maybe in North Texas. Up north where my Aunt lives there are bears and lots of deer. Lol raccoons are considered vermin here but when i was in Holland in the Rotterdam zoo they were there on display haha.
 
Bravera said:
Shadowcat said:
Bravera said:
Yes, I absolutely love the warmth and because I live in another state, I almost always go up the mountains every summer to get some sun and that "country" vibe. I miss the Cicadas and frogs croaking at night :< The squirrels and raccoons I loved those critters. The mockingjays!! I can still remember some of their songs.
I dont miss the mosquitos and tree roaches xD but i wouldnt mind seeing a Banana spider ;P

The warm rain, the smell in the air, the dewy mornings. climbing the massive trees..
Picnics in the shade.. The wetlands..

I was actually thinking today on my way to work about a time I visited a wildlife reservation in Texas as a young boy, I was considering if this would actually be a good career for me to persue. I can see myself following three career choices and im sure ill have the opportunity to explore all of them in the near future.

Also, I have been in 3 hurricanes, and have even got to be in the eye of a hurricane during the daylight it was INCREDIBLE! I owe much of my love of Nature to growing up in the South.

I believe it was stated someday Astarte will return and assist in the restoration of the earth. I hope to return to Texas, and am always asking her for assistance so that I can someday take on the important task of restoring our planet.

Something funny came up recently, I was walking on a trail around midnight, and honestly got a little creeped out. So I imagined Astarte, Satan, Azazel, and Baalzebul, walking with me.
Then I remembered how Xians think they are walking with Jewsus.
And I busted out laughing imagining them just beating up Jewsus xDDDD

LOL you are nuts like my uncle haha. He did that one time in the middle of a hurricane clinging to a tree and was taking pictures.

Oh me and my bro had a ball with all the critters down here. We were always catching frogs toads and lizards and whatever else. sometimes we had a bigass snake in the backyard that my fatcat would do fuck all about :lol:

We had an opossum and raccoon frequent our garage because of the cat food. once all 3 of them, the opossum racoon and one of my 7 cats was sitting there together just staring. we had a zoo lol.

I was always climbing trees and getting dirty. I even had some neighborhood kids work with me on building a clubhouse haha. even had some of my first construction work incidents back then too even before i started welding! lmao :lol:

i brought my ex to the states a couple times and he was nuts for squirrels

Ill never forget the time me and my brother had brought our gamecube to play games until the power went out during hurricane Rita, we forgot all about it until around midnight, and as soon as we plugged it in, the power went out xD

We stayed during Hurricane Ike, most people left the area after what happened with Katrina :cry: . Our power was out for a week, once the hurricane was over, me and my sister explored for hours making campsites under trees and experimenting with fire, the National Guard gave out MREs and we enjoyed them alot :p
Also during that hurricane we was driving around and the town was empty, my "grandpa" stopped at a redlight, and we was like, "just go", then as soon as we started driving we saw a cop xD Our favorite park was completely flooded!
During that hurricane I remember the back door slamming open and closed, I was thinking it was a bum and grabbed and big kitchen knife and went to investigate... :roll:

One time me and my sister got all suited up in oversized boots, socks, shirts, went under our house for an exploration, the dogs would spend alot of time down there. Sometimes we would get bored in the middle of the night and go hunting for tree roaches.

My favorite dog ive ever had was a Boston Terrier, everytime we let her out she would chase what I thought was raccoons out of the bushes, but now I think they were probably just Squirrels, she chased down a herd of horses one time the crazy dog. She learned how to climb a wire fence, and I would chase her down, worried she was gonna get ran over.

Xianity stole alot of my childhood from me, and I vow to destroy it. Luckily though, in my freshman year, my best friend was a skater and I joined the "Skater/Metal" clique. Other than Family, My love for Nature/Animals, and my Pride as a Texan, Skateboarding and Metal has stuck with me to this day.

Im sure theres lots of Texan SS, but im sure glad I got to meet ya, I very muchso consider you family ^_^

Aww well thank you ^^
I was in highschool during huricanes katrina and rita lol i was scared shitless, we tried to get away and ended up going back home cus traffic was so bad. we had all our cats and dog in the car too, and one escaped and almost died of dehydration.

Our dog used to chase skunks and she would come in smelling like shit :lol:

I have always been a huge nature person. I can also make various animal noises. for some reason people would get pissed at it....like cmon no sense of humor...pfff fuck you then :p.

Dude the craziest shit happened on our street when we were kids. The neighborhood boys were little pricks sometimes and once they were being really mean to me and got rough. they slammed my head against the brick wall by accident when they pushed me against the house in our back yard. My dad saw this and came out and was raging, so he grabbed them and swatted them on the butts and they cried like bitches and ran home which resulted in their parents calling the police.

Another time me and my little bro were out in the front yard playing with the water hose...mom and dad didnt see but we didnt give a shit and had no cloths on and were just carrying on. the neighbors saw ofcourse and were horrified and wanted to call CPS lmao. the rednecks accross the street from us were freaking out.

Yeah we grew up xtian sadly...around my mid teen years i started slowly disconnecting and getting nudges to basically start diverting from what i believed in, from dreaming about the bible burning and floating away in the bayou, among me and my family experiencing other things what i saw later probably came from the Gods. It was only a matter of time.
 
Shadowcat said:
Although there are alot of dysfunctional families out there i dont understand why someone would call it a slave system...to me it is uncalled for and extreme. Sadly there are alot of children who have had to put up with abusive parents also or who were emotionally neglectful, which leads to more dysfucntional adults. The majority of people today sadly do not know how to behave in a family unit or in a relationship that can garentee the successful and complete upbringing of a child. People will rush into relationships within months or even weeks, blurting out the starry eyed "i love you" while not even knowing what the hell it even means to actually love.

Love is sacrifice, going out of your way for someone perhaps even literally. Love is knowing how and making an effort to be there for someone emotionally and understanding things from their perspective, instead of shutting down or clamming up when they tell you that theyve been hurt. putting yourself in their shoes. putting an effort to make them happy. these things must be mutual. This all takes time to build and does not come within a matter of weeks or months. I have had Men tell me " I love you" knowing it was just words and nothing more. no. they loved an idea. it was infatuation not love. there is a big difference

All things that make a happy strong family unit have been destroyed. People do not know how to treat each other with patience or kindness anymore. Husbands and wives don't know how to fight fair or sort through problems without saying things that can leave lasting marks. People have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, or both have to work. It sucks for the kids cus then they cant see their mom and dad. no family time and bonding. Ugliness and unhealthiness are promoted along with horrible racial hygene. As a result we have very few people that are actually attractive, either because they don't give a shit or have bad genes. or both. Look at america. fat, ugly, and always horridly dressed. Before someone starts bitching about this being shallow, its not. This is biological as beauty is associated with health and strong genes. If more people upheld these things, men AND women, people would be able to remain attracted longer and it would contribute to longterm happiness. without the attraction you are just roommates. Genetic attractiveness is also relative to race even down to the specific subrace.

When i was 21 i met someone i ended up learning another language for, busted my ass for, shead literal blood sweat and tears to save up money for, to go make a life with...5000 kilometers away. i thought he was THE ONE. what a sentimental stupid idiot i was. The longest we spent apart was a year and 3 months, while i was saving up money working jobs in the US and Canada and finishing pipe welding school. What happened when i first got there? About a year or so in there was a fight about moving alittle farther away because he wanted to stay closer to his mother...she even egged this on. I was pissed and was already thinking of having thoughts of leaving...after the literal distance i went. I definately wasn't the easiest to live with and wasn't perfect and can have a temper and can also be inconsiderate at times. but when he started comparing me to other women, telling me he imagined me sounding different during sex ect i started checking out. after almost 9 years of trying to make it work together i finally got it out of him about what he was up to and had been cheating on me with 2 other people. I told him if he had contracted any STD his ass was mine. Thank the Gods he or i got nothing. i ofcourse ended up leaving. He even would bring up wanting children from time to time. I am glad nothing of the sort happend. ...after almost 9 years.

But this sort of thing happens after even 15. Yet everyone ends up having one or two kids within the first 5 years almost, with the first half being within the first 2! People rush into relationships without studying their partner properly, not knowing what they want, or being what i was, just plain naive...a mistake i will never make again. I am happy for my ex and his new life we talk from time to time. but i look at our past and other prospects i have had along with other second hand accounts from others about splitting up after 10 13, shit 20 years! and i'm like well how the fuck are we supposed to find the right person to make a happy family with?

This is perhaps one of the biggest hangups in my chart. It almost makes me feel like i am a bad person for not wanting to look for a partner anymore or have kids...especially since i do love kids and would love the right partner. no asshole comments please because this will actually be the most vulnerable comment i will ever post...maybe its because of the working ive started that alot of things are coming out.

I have always had huge hangups with my feminity. I hate my voice its fugly :p. i always get called sir on the phone..there was someone i was talking to for the first time once and they asked if i was born a girl lmfao. i know they didnt mean it bad. and i never told them. but it really hurt. alot. my first thought was " yeah they will probably like someone whose voice is cuter" thinking back to how my ex also made comments on my voice and said he imgined me sounding different. cus thats what guys like right? they like cute...and feminine. i dont give a shit how sensitive they say they are...thats what they like. and if they like me for my "manliness" it almost always ends up that they prefer dick any way :lol:

My pluto placement also makes me scared shitless of childbirth...that almost sounds pathetic since is the main thing my body is built for. sometimes that ticks me off. Then i have thoughts of, yeah then my body is ruined and my partner will leave me for someone he finds younger and more attractive or cheat. because this nowadays especially almost always happens. then i think "i love kids so much and they deserve the best. i am also afraid to not provide for them or make my parents mistakes...especially with my temper this actually really upsets me, since i love baby anythings..Goddammit. whats wrong with me."

There are people with virtually no life experience who try to tell others to suck it up and to stop bitching...yes it is hard and procreation must go on. But getting with the wrong person can fuck your whole life up and leave you in emotional and finantial ruin, to the point of being on the street even, ultimately also being very bad for the children and scarring them for life. Kids who grow up in poverty or around domestic violence have serious issues as adults and end up contributing to the criminal system. Which results in alot of people becoming extremely self protective and scrutinizing prospects to the extreme, so In all honesty, am i a bad person for having these fears? serious question. People could say, "just do a working, use magic ect or go out and meet people" sure...but how long would all that take to find the right person, people especially in their 30s and even mid 20s have alot of baggage. baggage that others often cannot be arsed with. even if a working attracts something there is no guarentee.

I have alot of saturnian and neptunian influences to the way i look at relationships and people i know that. something i am working on.

I have thought to have had someone on the astral...i know for certain in anycase he is my Guardian and love him a great deal, and im sure he loves me..prolly just not that way...but it is also possible i have seen and come in contact with a second person as well who was from a past life and is already gone...which actually makes me very sad. and mad at myself for misconcieving something about my guardian as well..like..how could i be so stupid. thanks neptune for making me the sentimental idiot that i am for percieving something that is impossible. better to know the truth though than be a dillusional idiot. i mean why not. even the actual fictional characters i got crushes on as a teen turned out with someone in fan fiction..haha..pathetic.

Which is something i dont want to be anymore in this sense. i love the idea of family and what it is really supposed to be. I am just terrified to get hurt, but also wonder what will happen when i am old. this makes me sad but i cant just take any random off the street. There is alot of people who think its ok to raise a child in poverty which is detrimental. a family needs to fight to get in a good position to provide for any prospective children because children deserve the best. my uncle is childless and has never had a partner and lives close to others who look out for each other.

If only The axis won...many people would be able to have much healthier and long lasting familes. I look foward to the day when the things that hinder this are gone. im not the youngest anymore however. Sorry guys for the rant lol. I think my working is starting to do its job...been feeling a lump in my throat and solar plexus area the whole time writing this :|


This made me think of you and your God. i was browzing some old songs and this one played,its a very popular song but if you read the lyrics you will see why i said it made me think about you
every single word hehe
https://youtu.be/3GPZDX9_2oE
 
Shadowcat said:
Bravera said:
Shadowcat said:
LOL you are nuts like my uncle haha. He did that one time in the middle of a hurricane clinging to a tree and was taking pictures.

Oh me and my bro had a ball with all the critters down here. We were always catching frogs toads and lizards and whatever else. sometimes we had a bigass snake in the backyard that my fatcat would do fuck all about :lol:

We had an opossum and raccoon frequent our garage because of the cat food. once all 3 of them, the opossum racoon and one of my 7 cats was sitting there together just staring. we had a zoo lol.

I was always climbing trees and getting dirty. I even had some neighborhood kids work with me on building a clubhouse haha. even had some of my first construction work incidents back then too even before i started welding! lmao :lol:

i brought my ex to the states a couple times and he was nuts for squirrels

Ill never forget the time me and my brother had brought our gamecube to play games until the power went out during hurricane Rita, we forgot all about it until around midnight, and as soon as we plugged it in, the power went out xD

We stayed during Hurricane Ike, most people left the area after what happened with Katrina :cry: . Our power was out for a week, once the hurricane was over, me and my sister explored for hours making campsites under trees and experimenting with fire, the National Guard gave out MREs and we enjoyed them alot :p
Also during that hurricane we was driving around and the town was empty, my "grandpa" stopped at a redlight, and we was like, "just go", then as soon as we started driving we saw a cop xD Our favorite park was completely flooded!
During that hurricane I remember the back door slamming open and closed, I was thinking it was a bum and grabbed and big kitchen knife and went to investigate... :roll:

One time me and my sister got all suited up in oversized boots, socks, shirts, went under our house for an exploration, the dogs would spend alot of time down there. Sometimes we would get bored in the middle of the night and go hunting for tree roaches.

My favorite dog ive ever had was a Boston Terrier, everytime we let her out she would chase what I thought was raccoons out of the bushes, but now I think they were probably just Squirrels, she chased down a herd of horses one time the crazy dog. She learned how to climb a wire fence, and I would chase her down, worried she was gonna get ran over.

Xianity stole alot of my childhood from me, and I vow to destroy it. Luckily though, in my freshman year, my best friend was a skater and I joined the "Skater/Metal" clique. Other than Family, My love for Nature/Animals, and my Pride as a Texan, Skateboarding and Metal has stuck with me to this day.

Im sure theres lots of Texan SS, but im sure glad I got to meet ya, I very muchso consider you family ^_^

Aww well thank you ^^
I was in highschool during huricanes katrina and rita lol i was scared shitless, we tried to get away and ended up going back home cus traffic was so bad. we had all our cats and dog in the car too, and one escaped and almost died of dehydration.

Our dog used to chase skunks and she would come in smelling like shit :lol:

I have always been a huge nature person. I can also make various animal noises. for some reason people would get pissed at it....like cmon no sense of humor...pfff fuck you then :p.

Dude the craziest shit happened on our street when we were kids. The neighborhood boys were little pricks sometimes and once they were being really mean to me and got rough. they slammed my head against the brick wall by accident when they pushed me against the house in our back yard. My dad saw this and came out and was raging, so he grabbed them and swatted them on the butts and they cried like bitches and ran home which resulted in their parents calling the police.

Another time me and my little bro were out in the front yard playing with the water hose...mom and dad didnt see but we didnt give a shit and had no cloths on and were just carrying on. the neighbors saw ofcourse and were horrified and wanted to call CPS lmao. the rednecks accross the street from us were freaking out.

Yeah we grew up xtian sadly...around my mid teen years i started slowly disconnecting and getting nudges to basically start diverting from what i believed in, from dreaming about the bible burning and floating away in the bayou, among me and my family experiencing other things what i saw later probably came from the Gods. It was only a matter of time.

I have a feeling we grew up in almost the same area :O
I stayed home for all 3 of those hurricanes, and each one was a phenomenal experience.
These were comparatively minor to just the daily life even within the suburbs, in regards to my experiences with Nature.
Do you remember the year it Snowed on Xmas Day?

It was simply terrible growing up in a Jewhovah witness household, for the most part being unable to celebrate Holidays and Birthdays, being forced to go to church 3 times a week and going out in "field service". It was always so embarrassing. I literally ran away from home one sunday just because I didnt want to go to church.

I agree, I cant imagine an SS that doesnt love Nature, but without a doubt, we were very lucky to grow up in Texas. I believe Astarte has been an important influence throughout my entire life. I have always had cats in my life, I have built strong relationships with every cat that has ever been in my life and im like 99% sure Bastet is my Guardian.

For the most part I didnt have alot of issues with the kids there, but I definitely had to learn to grow some thick skin. People in Texas love to talk shit, im sure you know all about that.

I do have a memory from around 13 of making a prayer to Satan, I have a strong feeling I have been an SS in previous lives.

Id really like to get to know you better, if you dont mind ill send you an email?
 
Ariton 666 said:
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
Ariton 666 said:
....

You live in your little liberal "everyone should love everyone else" world, but you don't know shit about what it's like to have to stand up for yourself, just to talk shit!
...

You know essentially nothing about me, and your situation, looks to me like a rather casual story, despite of you thinking nobody else experienced things like you did. Others have experienced way worse, and see things in other ways.

All my life is what you refer to as yours, only multiplied by many times a factor, let alone other things.

Congratulations on standing up for yourself, as you understand more of life, you will understand other solutions rather than beating people senseless.

Yes, family remains sacred, and you should treat your children and the family going from you as sacred, and not turn out like your dad, having to play Karate with your own kid to understand it.

You must look forward to fixing your problems, because if not, you'll be toxic everywhere as you are here with me for no reason other than your perceived issues.

I am not your physical dad for you to play Karate with me. Thanks.

....

I'll decide how to deal with my family, you just keep your mouth shut and don't interfere in my business!

I'm studying martial arts, and I became a Satanist so that I would have the power to kill any worm shit, no matter if it's my family or a stranger, if it's a piece of shit worm shit, I'll kill it, that's why I have Black Magic, and Siddhi!

There is always a reason why I trample some worm shit!

And I'll tell you in advance that I will kill you when the time comes and you can't stop me!!!!

There's very little you can do to stop me and you're the one doing the damage not me you liberal loser with all your sycophantic assholes!!!!

You clearly don't know what a real sycophant is. Have you never seen the entourage parties that follow celebrities around? Have you ever seen an office worker who follows their boss around like a mosquito, always ready to please his every desire? Do you know what a star fucker is? Having gratitude and respect for the High Priest does not make us brown nosers.

If you are old enough to know big words then be wise enough to use them correctly. We are not sycophants.
 

I hope my message didnt get buried in your spam
I sent it at 5:54 PM Friday
 
this is true and beautiful and i wish i had ideal parents and siblings but i have completely gave up on family love and brotherly love all i want nbow are friendships(have several) and romantic/sexual love(never had that).

i will NEVER TRUST FAMILY AND BROTHERLY LOVE EVER AGAIN PERIOD AND ALSO I REFUSE TO START MY OWN FAMILY ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT AND TOO EXPENSIVE IN THE STATE I LIVE FOR THAT AND I COULDN'T HANDLE THE RESPONSIBILITY AND SEE NOTHING GOOD THAT CAN COME OF THAT MAYBE IF IT WAS A SATANIC WORLD I WOULD DO THAT.
 
Crystallized Mushroom said:
this is true and beautiful and i wish i had ideal parents and siblings but i have completely gave up on family love and brotherly love all i want nbow are friendships(have several) and romantic/sexual love(never had that).

i will NEVER TRUST FAMILY AND BROTHERLY LOVE EVER AGAIN PERIOD AND ALSO I REFUSE TO START MY OWN FAMILY ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT AND TOO EXPENSIVE IN THE STATE I LIVE FOR THAT AND I COULDN'T HANDLE THE RESPONSIBILITY AND SEE NOTHING GOOD THAT CAN COME OF THAT MAYBE IF IT WAS A SATANIC WORLD I WOULD DO THAT.
With all due respect, you do not know what you want.

Your situation is such that wooden floor of your house is dirty and broken, and thus you claim that stone floor is the best floor because this wooden floor is very bad.

Instead of insisting what you want, insist on what you need... Which is at least one or two years good, consistent advancement to clear out dross and to gain understanding.
 
Henu the Great said:
Crystallized Mushroom said:
this is true and beautiful and i wish i had ideal parents and siblings but i have completely gave up on family love and brotherly love all i want nbow are friendships(have several) and romantic/sexual love(never had that).

i will NEVER TRUST FAMILY AND BROTHERLY LOVE EVER AGAIN PERIOD AND ALSO I REFUSE TO START MY OWN FAMILY ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT AND TOO EXPENSIVE IN THE STATE I LIVE FOR THAT AND I COULDN'T HANDLE THE RESPONSIBILITY AND SEE NOTHING GOOD THAT CAN COME OF THAT MAYBE IF IT WAS A SATANIC WORLD I WOULD DO THAT.
With all due respect, you do not know what you want.

Your situation is such that wooden floor of your house is dirty and broken, and thus you claim that stone floor is the best floor because this wooden floor is very bad.

Instead of insisting what you want, insist on what you need... Which is at least one or two years good, consistent advancement to clear out dross and to gain understanding.

i get what your saying about what i don't know what i want cause i change my "goals" every so often though i'm sure i want a romantic relationship i think but as for family and brotherly love i'm really done with that why would i "need" it you don't die without it. but yes i assume i must have alot of dross and all but for the past few months i have been getting way worse than i am even though i made 3 new friends and i don't know why. also this website was the ones that told me that sex and relationships were somehow "needs" which i don't really think they are at all cause i'm not dead i'm just depressed and apathetic to life in general and my friends and family saying they "love" me doesn't help me i feel nothing to my friends and family i don't know how to explain it to you you keep telling me not to give up on family love and brotherly love but why shouldn't i nothing good came out of it and its not a necessity at all just like sex and romance aren't necessities otherwise society would treat it as such. so i don't know what to tell you man i gave up on a lot of stuff cause it doesn't fulfill me at all doesn't make me happy at all regardless of how nice my family friends and work is to me with even the managers appreciating how hard i work, it doesn't seem to make me happy i just feel like life is pointless at this point cause i never got what i truly wanted from life at all PERIOD. however on the other hand i got alot of nice and good stuff just feels pointless without some lover to share it with why do you think i don't want to travel at all its not just the lockdowns and such. so as i said before i don't like nor want family love or brotherly love hell i may be going insane for all i know but i'm not sure what the problem is maybe i'm just fed up i never get certain needs but get alot of crap and boring stuff that while i see the value of it i can't appreciate it being sexually frustrated and apathetic and depressed to life at all.


if i could magically tomorrow get a girlfriend/boyfriend and be in a tropical paradise country with a waterfall and beautiful beach and such and be set for life financially with the catch being i would nver see my friends family and work ever again and forget they even existed then yes i would take it in a heartbeat.
 
Nowadays, everything fundamental to life is being attacked, questioned, and in general, subverted by the enemy. The questions against it are not asking for answers, but only to destroy the thing they pose the answers to.

The above was called "deconstruction school" of Marxism, and is a deliberate plot to destroy every past [Gentile Pagan] value system.

It takes little mind to understand that this is all very wrong. Yet, because most people no longer undergo a natural or decent psychological evolution, they cannot understand how things in life relate.

We live in a crazy world and that would be an understatement. All natural values and everything that brought power, freedom, advancement, is being besieged. People are instructed in the worst things that decay their power, remove their freedoms, and do them the greatest damage, but they are told this is for the best.

One of these corrosive advices and perceptions is an adverse one towards one's family, or making a family, or being part of a family.

Yet, because this world is as it is, the family ethos turning negative, because people suck on a personal level, has become a self fulfilling prophecy - most people, especially awake, aware, or smart people, might experience suffering from the family.

The reasons why the family suffers so much, range from financial to emotional, to social reasons. Above all, forsaking the advice and tenets of our ancestors, who were good with family building, we have been lost entirely.

An example here is, that Romans and others in the past, had a "leader" in the family, a "leader" of wisdom. This would be the wisest or the oldest person in the family [and therefore more experienced] that would organize the family, help make amends between members of it, and look for supplicating it with wisdom. This would be either a grandparent or a grandmother.

As with anything else, modern man has rejoiced a lot in being a lonely lost creature without a purpose, and assuming this is the best state of being. It is pointless to try to explain anything to, for example, a club lost slut or something.

Families are groups where organic relations between people of the same blood [in theory] take place. The larger Race, is part of extended racial family. The reasons why people flock together in this manner, is biological first and foremost. It's to satisfy needs, increase power of members, provide nurturing and protection. These bonds are kept together through the blood, ancestry, common goals etc.

Because none of this exists anymore, most families are built on social promises, and lack of awareness doesn't help much more. There is no real "family feeling" in most families, and most parents are not gaining necessarily more wisdom as they grow, therefore causing issues to children. Children on the other hand, lacking experience and understanding of life, blame the parents, and the list of wrongs can have no end here.

The family value of the world is getting besieged, because nobody wants people to have any such exclusive bond to anyone else. In essence, we are too hated here because we constitute a form of a spiritual brotherhood, which is close to that of a family. This empowers everyone involved, far more than they would be powerful on their own.

The family is one of this world's most precious things. It's family values that have been completely been destroyed by the enemy. There are none of these today.

In a world where everyone is misguided, parents will be too. Parents will misguide the children. As you were misguided, and everyone was. Power can be used in a wrong way, and families can do that also.

Nowadays, it comes at a cost because to awake, is a crime in general, and therefore the people that might respond negatively to this might even be your family. The enemy can use these people to get to you, and they might comply, because especially families are so fragmented by ideological or religious issues. These did not exist in the Pagan past.

Family is not a prison camp. Family exists to save a person from the already existing dependence relationships, and make sure someone grows during these in a protected environment. There is no "free" toddler thrown in the jungle, but a toddler can be free if they are on the hands of a family that takes care of them.

There are no natural rights to any freedom inbred in a young human being, as there is also no power, as this manifests more as a person grows later on. Family has to protect from this powerlessness. Yet many families do throw the children more feet under at this point.

Family is a protective cocoon for this, to protect the future of both the family and the life. Now, our world cares little about all this, and many are totally dumb and on a self destructive spiral, so understanding or applying any of this will be a a pain to them.

It's the people that grow you, give you life, brought you to this world, and yes, they can make some really grave mistakes on you, and not make you into the intended king everyone thought was entitled to be, in this day and era.

Most people think of course why didn't everyone serve them better, because everyone is a princess today. Nobody ever asks if they could do better themselves, that is getting more and more rare. Therefore, families, which are a basic co-existence mechanism, do suffer from these imbalances.

What do people do if life befalls them hard and they have to retreat? They go live with their otherwise "toxic" parents.

Who do people run to the moment something really bad happens? Oftentimes, even to their parents, if they aren't as toxic or as judgemental.

The list goes.

Parents are nice when they grow you and they give you everything, then what nowadays people do is remember the negative things only and discard their family on the trash can. Very noble of them? No, that is very selfish and not noble.

Parents do also take a choice or a situation where they minimize their own freedom, sacrifice their years, and so on, to give rise to a child. This is not only biological, but a sacrifice that happens on one's self out of love, necessity or care.

Because whomever grows a child enters a very limiting relationship with major sacrifices to themselves, to raise children, so they can tell them to fuck off later, as many children will do because of whatever demand came into their head?

Well yes, this is how it goes, until you are young that is. Then you start understanding more about this world, unavoidably.

Nowadays, women are told to avoid this, and to just take another way entirely in this world. They therefore never discover the power incumbent in motherhood in anyway. They think this makes them stronger. This illusion collapses as women reach very old age, where they don't have anyone to take care of them. The same goes for men.

As I see this world going, depression, stupid values, and many other things, will drive it to the cliffs of loneliness, depression, and in the end, possibly self destruction. Many people will defend this state of being until it is too late, simply because they didn't know a better perspective here.

In regards to children, children can be wonderful, fill one's life with joy, worry, longings, hopes for the future. They are not the monsters people have been told they are. They will do more positive to you than negative. If you raise them with love, understanding, discipline and support, your children will be where you will rely in your own future as a being. This is a give and take situation.

Everyone is being LIED to about family, because they want people in the West to simply die without a family, alone and unsupported. They want people to be pointlessly only selfish, and incapable of relating to other human beings. Much of this is learned in one's early family.

Parents and children do share in these relationship and therefore in the wrong and right of things. Children grow and many are growing selfish which is natural, and they therefore only increase their demands, while doing nothing.

Family is an organic bond and most people cannot have these bonds as most people are egoistical princesses in this day and era, and know nothing of sacrifice, stepping back, or anything of the sort.

There is no life currently known that goes out from the child state. Children are helpless, little beings, that cannot do much in life. This is biological. Family comes as their armor to grow them and protect them. Everyone has been a child at some point.

The argument that some people may have underwent negative experiences, gives credence to what stated above: Our world sucks. It will be fixed in time. Will these disappear completely? No. But family will have a far higher standing in Zevism or in a Spiritually Zevist, aka, Pagan world.

For Zevist Souls, because one has a bigger past and/or may be wiser, there can be clashes with the less intelligent people in one's family. These can come out of one's difference, one's decisions, or many other factors. We are a marginal few people in these very peculiar situations, and these cannot be turned into universal law for all mankind.

Currently, the price of awakening and consciousness, is severing from many things that are normal, even loneliness. This will not be the case "forever" in the future, it's a temporary lapse of civilization going to shit. In fact, these traits were most desirable in the past for families, relationships, politics, what have you. It's only now that these morals have been inverse.

In these cases, people have all means if they want, to amend ties, stand on their feet, not tolerate abuse, form their own family, the list goes.

Now, if your parents are decent people, go give them a kiss, and give them a hug, and tell them a thank you and that you love them despite of anything. Call them on the phone even, or send them a text. They were not perfect as you aren't perfect, but they tried.

If they are total assholes, then one might as well get them to fuck off. Yet, consider to be the parent that your children are going to love, because this is something you can choose for yourself, as Zevism will make you in control of your own destiny.

There is a reason why many refer to Father Zeus as "Father", and this is a holy title. The same goes for Mother, which some describe as Lilith, others Astarte and so on.

Family is sacred, beautiful, and divine. A human with a great family is a blessed human.

iu


-High Priest Hooded Cobra 666
Thanks for this sermon
I look as myself as apart of this family I hope I grow as wise
As you High Priest Hooded Cobra 666
Hail Almighty Zeus the God's of Hell
 
Although there are alot of dysfunctional families out there i dont understand why someone would call it a slave system...to me it is uncalled for and extreme. Sadly there are alot of children who have had to put up with abusive parents also or who were emotionally neglectful, which leads to more dysfucntional adults. The majority of people today sadly do not know how to behave in a family unit or in a relationship that can garentee the successful and complete upbringing of a child. People will rush into relationships within months or even weeks, blurting out the starry eyed "i love you" while not even knowing what the hell it even means to actually love.

Love is sacrifice, going out of your way for someone perhaps even literally. Love is knowing how and making an effort to be there for someone emotionally and understanding things from their perspective, instead of shutting down or clamming up when they tell you that theyve been hurt. putting yourself in their shoes. putting an effort to make them happy. these things must be mutual. This all takes time to build and does not come within a matter of weeks or months. I have had Men tell me " I love you" knowing it was just words and nothing more. no. they loved an idea. it was infatuation not love. there is a big difference

All things that make a happy strong family unit have been destroyed. People do not know how to treat each other with patience or kindness anymore. Husbands and wives don't know how to fight fair or sort through problems without saying things that can leave lasting marks. People have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, or both have to work. It sucks for the kids cus then they cant see their mom and dad. no family time and bonding. Ugliness and unhealthiness are promoted along with horrible racial hygene. As a result we have very few people that are actually attractive, either because they don't give a shit or have bad genes. or both. Look at america. fat, ugly, and always horridly dressed. Before someone starts bitching about this being shallow, its not. This is biological as beauty is associated with health and strong genes. If more people upheld these things, men AND women, people would be able to remain attracted longer and it would contribute to longterm happiness. without the attraction you are just roommates. Genetic attractiveness is also relative to race even down to the specific subrace.

When i was 21 i met someone i ended up learning another language for, busted my ass for, shead literal blood sweat and tears to save up money for, to go make a life with...5000 kilometers away. i thought he was THE ONE. what a sentimental stupid idiot i was. The longest we spent apart was a year and 3 months, while i was saving up money working jobs in the US and Canada and finishing pipe welding school. What happened when i first got there? About a year or so in there was a fight about moving alittle farther away because he wanted to stay closer to his mother...she even egged this on. I was pissed and was already thinking of having thoughts of leaving...after the literal distance i went. I definately wasn't the easiest to live with and wasn't perfect and can have a temper and can also be inconsiderate at times. but when he started comparing me to other women, telling me he imagined me sounding different during sex ect i started checking out. after almost 9 years of trying to make it work together i finally got it out of him about what he was up to and had been cheating on me with 2 other people. I told him if he had contracted any STD his ass was mine. Thank the Gods he or i got nothing. i ofcourse ended up leaving. He even would bring up wanting children from time to time. I am glad nothing of the sort happend. ...after almost 9 years.

But this sort of thing happens after even 15. Yet everyone ends up having one or two kids within the first 5 years almost, with the first half being within the first 2! People rush into relationships without studying their partner properly, not knowing what they want, or being what i was, just plain naive...a mistake i will never make again. I am happy for my ex and his new life we talk from time to time. but i look at our past and other prospects i have had along with other second hand accounts from others about splitting up after 10 13, shit 20 years! and i'm like well how the fuck are we supposed to find the right person to make a happy family with?

This is perhaps one of the biggest hangups in my chart. It almost makes me feel like i am a bad person for not wanting to look for a partner anymore or have kids...especially since i do love kids and would love the right partner. no asshole comments please because this will actually be the most vulnerable comment i will ever post...maybe its because of the working ive started that alot of things are coming out.

I have always had huge hangups with my feminity. I hate my voice its fugly :p. i always get called sir on the phone..there was someone i was talking to for the first time once and they asked if i was born a girl lmfao. i know they didnt mean it bad. and i never told them. but it really hurt. alot. my first thought was " yeah they will probably like someone whose voice is cuter" thinking back to how my ex also made comments on my voice and said he imgined me sounding different. cus thats what guys like right? they like cute...and feminine. i dont give a shit how sensitive they say they are...thats what they like. and if they like me for my "manliness" it almost always ends up that they prefer dick any way :lol:

My pluto placement also makes me scared shitless of childbirth...that almost sounds pathetic since is the main thing my body is built for. sometimes that ticks me off. Then i have thoughts of, yeah then my body is ruined and my partner will leave me for someone he finds younger and more attractive or cheat. because this nowadays especially almost always happens. then i think "i love kids so much and they deserve the best. i am also afraid to not provide for them or make my parents mistakes...especially with my temper this actually really upsets me, since i love baby anythings..Goddammit. whats wrong with me."

There are people with virtually no life experience who try to tell others to suck it up and to stop bitching...yes it is hard and procreation must go on. But getting with the wrong person can fuck your whole life up and leave you in emotional and finantial ruin, to the point of being on the street even, ultimately also being very bad for the children and scarring them for life. Kids who grow up in poverty or around domestic violence have serious issues as adults and end up contributing to the criminal system. Which results in alot of people becoming extremely self protective and scrutinizing prospects to the extreme, so In all honesty, am i a bad person for having these fears? serious question. People could say, "just do a working, use magic ect or go out and meet people" sure...but how long would all that take to find the right person, people especially in their 30s and even mid 20s have alot of baggage. baggage that others often cannot be arsed with. even if a working attracts something there is no guarentee.

I have alot of saturnian and neptunian influences to the way i look at relationships and people i know that. something i am working on.

I have thought to have had someone on the astral...i know for certain in anycase he is my Guardian and love him a great deal, and im sure he loves me..prolly just not that way...but it is also possible i have seen and come in contact with a second person as well who was from a past life and is already gone...which actually makes me very sad. and mad at myself for misconcieving something about my guardian as well..like..how could i be so stupid. thanks neptune for making me the sentimental idiot that i am for percieving something that is impossible. better to know the truth though than be a dillusional idiot. i mean why not. even the actual fictional characters i got crushes on as a teen turned out with someone in fan fiction..haha..pathetic.

Which is something i dont want to be anymore in this sense. i love the idea of family and what it is really supposed to be. I am just terrified to get hurt, but also wonder what will happen when i am old. this makes me sad but i cant just take any random off the street. There is alot of people who think its ok to raise a child in poverty which is detrimental. a family needs to fight to get in a good position to provide for any prospective children because children deserve the best. my uncle is childless and has never had a partner and lives close to others who look out for each other.

If only The axis won...many people would be able to have much healthier and long lasting familes. I look foward to the day when the things that hinder this are gone. im not the youngest anymore however. Sorry guys for the rant lol. I think my working is starting to do its job...been feeling a lump in my throat and solar plexus area the whole time writing this :|
I have read some of your previous posts and I think you are a great woman. I wonder what you are waiting for to perform a ritual to Father Zeus and request a relationship with an incubus demon. I think you are a woman worthy of such a relationship. Perhaps the answer is obvious: you want a relationship with someone who is physically present, but no matter how much you improve, that ideal person may never come because it is no longer up to you.

I also believe that having the astrological characteristics you mention is not a problem when it comes to finding a partner or having a satisfying relationship. I have some of them too, and I think our Goddess Maxine has some as well. What I'm trying to do here is motivate you, whatever you decide to do. I'm an anonymous member here, but I'm also a woman (bisexual) and I love strong women like you and Lady Maxine.

I once saw a quote on Instagram that said: a tree will not become smaller because others cannot reach its fruit. In this case, the tree is you.

Regarding your voice: even if you think it's horrible, it can be improved with modulation exercises, right? Think about your guardian demon: you say he loves you. Do you think he cares about something as minor as your voice? What things do you think he values about you?

I apologize if this message is not clear, as I do not speak English and am using a translator.




Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
 
I have read some of your previous posts and I think you are a great woman. I wonder what you are waiting for to perform a ritual to Father Zeus and request a relationship with an incubus demon. I think you are a woman worthy of such a relationship. Perhaps the answer is obvious: you want a relationship with someone who is physically present, but no matter how much you improve, that ideal person may never come because it is no longer up to you.

I also believe that having the astrological characteristics you mention is not a problem when it comes to finding a partner or having a satisfying relationship. I have some of them too, and I think our Goddess Maxine has some as well. What I'm trying to do here is motivate you, whatever you decide to do. I'm an anonymous member here, but I'm also a woman (bisexual) and I love strong women like you and Lady Maxine.

I once saw a quote on Instagram that said: a tree will not become smaller because others cannot reach its fruit. In this case, the tree is you.

Regarding your voice: even if you think it's horrible, it can be improved with modulation exercises, right? Think about your guardian demon: you say he loves you. Do you think he cares about something as minor as your voice? What things do you think he values about you?

I apologize if this message is not clear, as I do not speak English and am using a translator.




Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
Thank you so much for your kind words but I have changed much since making this comment. The truth is is I'm actually a lesbian and I have come to terms with my sexuality as well as many other parts of me that make me more naturally masculine than other women not just biologically but also psychologically as well. (This is a long story and I have always been attracted to femininity and the realization of this was very latent due to my very heavy Christian upbringing. Before I finally came out to myself and to others the men I attempted to court were always very overtly feminine. When they aforementioned one let go of this ((it was a phase for him)) he became very unattractive to me and I didn't for the male anatomy really in general) I was always pretty butch even when I tried to hide it because I thought I was supposed to. I love my voice my face and everything about my body and all aspects of me. It was truly liberating to finally accept myself for who and what I was after many Sun squares. As for an incubus I believe this goes without saying I am not meant for males and even furthermore 99.9% of cases of human beings cannot have such a relationship with a God. This was touched upon in other sermons. Think about it logically. Especially ones who aren't particularly actually open what could a mere human have to offer any great God in this regard?
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Shaitan

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