Dont know what to do anymore.

[Tara Doland]

Im just about to say f life. And let me tell u why: my boyfriend live with his father ( who wont help AT ALL with ANYTHING round the house, wont do dishes, wont buy ANY food ( and eats what i buy for us and refuses to replinish), smokes so much that at night a white haze can CLEARLY be seen( which makes getting and staying asleep that much harder) , we have a hole in the ceiling that you can see all the way up to the attic that drips when it rains, and theres mold growing EVERYWHERE, wont help repair our van ( somehow got a key, which both me and my guy DID NOT give him permission to do) but will drive it WITHOUT putting any gas whatsoever so that my guy or i have to put THAT MUCH more gas into it ( i only collect ssi check which isnt getting to be enuff anymore). And weve been trying to save enuff money to get a loan to get outta here ( we had lil over 1000) and now come to find out that now we got to spend that money on another vehicle. Just feels like life is continuiously beating us down without giving us any relief. And i dont know how much more of this i can take.

What should i do?

I eagerly wait any responses.

 

[Allison P]

Well, your boyfriend's dad sounds like a worthless sack of shit. Have
you tried money meditations? Maybe that way, you can get some extra
cash that you can save. Don't give up. Life just shits on you
sometimes, and even though it seems like it won't end, it will. It's
just a cycle, but the good stuff will come back again and you'l get
what you want. Hang in there, sis! Hail Father Satan Enki!

On 1/1/11, Tara Doland <satansvamp@... wrote:
Im just about to say f life. And let me tell u why: my boyfriend live with
his father ( who wont help AT ALL with ANYTHING round the house, wont do
dishes, wont buy ANY food ( and eats what i buy for us and refuses to
replinish), smokes so much that at night a white haze can CLEARLY be seen(
which makes getting and staying asleep that much harder) , we have a hole in
the ceiling that you can see all the way up to the attic that drips when it
rains, and theres mold growing EVERYWHERE, wont help repair our van (
somehow got a key, which both me and my guy DID NOT give him permission to
do) but will drive it WITHOUT putting any gas whatsoever so that my guy or i
have to put THAT MUCH more gas into it ( i only collect ssi check which isnt
getting to be enuff anymore). And weve been trying to save enuff money to
get a loan to get outta here ( we had lil over 1000) and now come to find
out that now we got to spend that money on another vehicle. Just feels like
life is continuiously beating us down without giving us any relief. And i
dont know how much more of this i can take.

What should i do?

I eagerly wait any responses.

 

[Sheila Barnhill]

hmmm.....seems like you need to tell your boyfriend that if his father doesn't straighten up that, well, to put it nicely you can get another boyfriend!!!!

On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 4:09 PM, Tara Doland <satansvamp@... wrote:

  Im just about to say f life. And let me tell u why: my boyfriend live with his father ( who wont help AT ALL with ANYTHING round the house, wont do dishes, wont buy ANY food ( and eats what i buy for us and refuses to replinish), smokes so much that at night a white haze can CLEARLY be seen( which makes getting and staying asleep that much harder) , we have a hole in the ceiling that you can see all the way up to the attic that drips when it rains, and theres mold growing EVERYWHERE, wont help repair our van ( somehow got a key, which both me and my guy DID NOT give him permission to do) but will drive it WITHOUT putting any gas whatsoever so that my guy or i have to put THAT MUCH more gas into it ( i only collect ssi check which isnt getting to be enuff anymore). And weve been trying to save enuff money to get a loan to get outta here ( we had lil over 1000) and now come to find out that now we got to spend that money on another vehicle. Just feels like life is continuiously beating us down without giving us any relief. And i dont know how much more of this i can take.

What should i do?

I eagerly wait any responses.

--
"Do what you want as long as it's paying off for you. But once it's become a liability, then something is wrong and you better find out what it is."

 

[chalchiuhnenetzin]

This sort of situation causes so much stress and it's hard to be pro-active when stressed t6 the extreme. But there's a few things you can do, even though hard. Results may not be "instant" (sometimes, surprisingly, the are almost so, but don't presume that).

There are meditations you can do re finances (outlined in the meditation sections of the JoS site). They're deceptively simple but don't under-estimate them.

The same is true for your boyfriend's father when it comes to getting him and/or his negative influence out of your lives. Remember, Satanists do not sit passively and simply absorb abuse. Even if you feel you can't speak out, there is always meditations and magick.

And/or -- don't just "run off at the mouth" but plan and rehearse this: You might want to consider giving the free-loader an ultimatum along the lines of "shape up or ship out". If it's his home, obviously you can't boot him out, but he obviously "needs" what you guys supply, so you might want to tell him you'll be leaving if he doesn't do something to hold up his end. And that includes the unhealthy situation he's causing by his excessive smoking. He can go outside like other smokers do. Wherever or however he got the key to the van, you might want to demand it back; it's not his vehicle.

If your b.f. doesn't agree (and I admit that when it's a close relative it could be difficult) then I'd take another look at Sheila's advice; she's definitely got a point.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Sheila Barnhill <darkangelpublishing@... wrote:

hmmm.....seems like you need to tell your boyfriend that if his father
doesn't straighten up that, well, to put it nicely you can get another
boyfriend!!!!

On Sat, Jan 1, 2011 at 4:09 PM, Tara Doland <satansvamp@... wrote:



Im just about to say f life. And let me tell u why: my boyfriend live with
his father ( who wont help AT ALL with ANYTHING round the house, wont do
dishes, wont buy ANY food ( and eats what i buy for us and refuses to
replinish), smokes so much that at night a white haze can CLEARLY be seen(
which makes getting and staying asleep that much harder) , we have a hole in
the ceiling that you can see all the way up to the attic that drips when it
rains, and theres mold growing EVERYWHERE, wont help repair our van (
somehow got a key, which both me and my guy DID NOT give him permission to
do) but will drive it WITHOUT putting any gas whatsoever so that my guy or i
have to put THAT MUCH more gas into it ( i only collect ssi check which isnt
getting to be enuff anymore). And weve been trying to save enuff money to
get a loan to get outta here ( we had lil over 1000) and now come to find
out that now we got to spend that money on another vehicle. Just feels like
life is continuiously beating us down without giving us any relief. And i
dont know how much more of this i can take.

What should i do?

I eagerly wait any responses.






--
"Do what you want as long as it's paying off for you. But once it's become
a liability, then something is wrong and you better find out what it is."

 

[Brea Konkler]

Does anybody have a method to share? I have worked consistently for a couple weeks on my third eye all on hours of the moon and still nothing. Some days I get a pressure but not in a specific area just my forehead in general. I think I am saying it correctly(I have the pronunciation cd by Maxine) but I guess I may not be because the vibration never hits my 3rd eye. Im thinking if i make it a more powerful meditation I will have better results so if you have a method I would love to hear it! Thanks Brothers and Sisters! Hail Father Satan Forever! ~Brea

 

[Tara Doland]

His father barely allows us to have our books satanic books here let alone to be able to do meditation/trances are out of the question. I have tried but to no avail. There is just an overpowering negative energy here that i have tried again to no avail to break through. I feel it everyday taking just a little more of me. Making me feel hopeless.

what did you mean by dont under estimate the financial meditations?

Its really not even his house, its his bosses house. I have tried not buying any food thinking that hed fold and buying something, but no. If it werent for me for TWO months we would have starved. Since i dont make enuff money at this time i have had to resort to getting monthly food rations from the local food bank.

And as for getting the van key back, its been repeatedly tried and failed. His father as a real boundary issue prob. If its in this house or on the property he thinks that he has every right to go through everything.

 

[chalchiuhnenetzin]

What I meant about not under-estimating the money meditations and affirmations is
a) they DO work, but it "can" take some time;
b) they're very simple to do, so sometimes people are inclined to give less credit in our minds to simple things or little things, but to be workable does not necessarily mean it has to be complicated or lengthy. Silent affirmations work here too. It doesn't guarantee instant "millions", which is where some people trip up then give up.

(I, for example, am on a fixed income [I'm "retired" -- an odd term for someone who is busier than ever!] and don't have a lot of money when actually counting cash. Yet, my life is financially easier than it's ever been. All my needs are well taken care of as well as a number of my wants.)

I don't have restrictions on my practice but sometimes, if there's just too much going on in the home, or I haven't even been home, I've done meditations in places like Starbucks! True, it isn't as powerful as the location isn't ideal, but it got done, which was the main thing. I've also done it in libraries, parks (make sure you're safe from intruders or muggers; we have a really nice park area in the city hall complex which is great) and more than once when I needed to use my ouija board and pendulum for an "instant" answer I've had to resort to a bathroom stall at work!

Have you tried creating an astral temple? It might help. But it sounds like that place is just too negative even for normal living let alone spiritual work. (I do almost all my spiritual work from my astral temple and find it much more powerful.)

It can be so hard to even think straight in such circumstances as yours -- I've been there! -- so, even though we're encouraged to become as independent as possible, that does not mean to do so beyond your level of spiritual development. So it's perfectly fine to speak with Satan or perhaps your guardian demon to get advice about situations that are beyond one's power to deal with at the time.

Is it possible at all for you and your b.f. to find another place? Are you so close to him that separation feels out of the question for you if he won't move with you? It sounds as if almost any place but where you are would be an improvement even if it's just a little basement apartment somewhere or even a temporary stay with friends while you find something more suitable.

Anyway you look at it, that man is a particularly nasty piece of work and you need to get far away from him and all that negativity. He'll likely die (eventually -- I know a person who is about to turn 98 who seems to survive on sheer orneriness alone!) unloved, unmissed, and unmourned, but that's not your problem; it's his and only he can fix it.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Tara Doland" <satansvamp@... wrote:

His father barely allows us to have our books satanic books here let alone to be able to do meditation/trances are out of the question. I have tried but to no avail. There is just an overpowering negative energy here that i have tried again to no avail to break through. I feel it everyday taking just a little more of me. Making me feel hopeless.

what did you mean by dont under estimate the financial meditations?

Its really not even his house, its his bosses house. I have tried not buying any food thinking that hed fold and buying something, but no. If it werent for me for TWO months we would have starved. Since i dont make enuff money at this time i have had to resort to getting monthly food rations from the local food bank.

And as for getting the van key back, its been repeatedly tried and failed. His father as a real boundary issue prob. If its in this house or on the property he thinks that he has every right to go through everything.

 

[Tara Doland]

his father is very much against ALL religions. Basically he has his own beliefs and your wrong if u dont believe what he believes to the point where he will call people names ( ex: dumbfu<k as he called me yesterday). He barely lets us keep our satanic books here. And there is no way to do any meditations as the negative energy is so overwhelming to the point where it feels like its taking a piece of us everyday.

and as far as his smoking he doesnt care who he hurts by smoking. He figures that he pays some bills and that entitles him to be god aound here. So he FLATELY REFUSES to cut us any breaks with his smoking.

I have tried repeatedly to get the key back but again to no avail. He says that he might need the van when were not round - ah HELLO how is HE gonna drive the van when were driving it? He gives me other excuses for not giving back the key. So as of now there is NO WAY of getting back the key. But me and my guy have come to a deal. Were going to fix the van and if his father can pay us what my guy paid for the van, put it into his name then he can have the van, but if not ( which is more likely to happen) then were going to sell it and get me a vehicle cause my guy already has a lil truck. His father will be pissed but i am past the point of caring.