Deprogramming from atheism

[Demonic Tech]

In my long and excruciating search of the deep issues that prey at my mind and soul, of which I am sure some old time members here might reminisce (because of my many posts seeking various advice throughout the years) I think I am at a new breakthrough in finding out the source of it all. This is not the first time I think I've found a breakthrough, but compared to my previous attempts, this seems more realistic (the last one being suspecting some sort of thought-form possession, which could still be true to some extent as of course I haven't been doing all the workings I've been advised to do, because I am just that dumb).

As I've disclosed several times, I have deep thanatophobia since a very young age, and a general struggle to believe and have faith, hence my nickname on this forum has always been "Young Faith", as my faith is new and vulnerable (I now realize that keeping this username might be detrimental to my subconscious, but we'll see). Even if I had several occurrences where the hand of the Gods could be felt, my mind still can't fully accept that their influence is real and discards these occurrences as "coincidences" and that everything spiritual I believe in is "too good to be true".

Partly thanks to therapy, an expensive but so far helpful endeavor, I noticed that the origin of it all seems to be, much unsurprisingly, a deep atheism programming in my mind, probably caused by the environment I grew up in and the friendships I've made (every friend I've ever had and currently have is atheist, that's today's youth).

So, hoping that this time I got it right, I am asking some advice regarding atheist deprogramming, if there are some specific workings or something like that.

Also, I want to deeply thank everyone in the JoS for the patience that has been shown me throughout the years.
I am aware of my situation and how it looks like from the outside.
I just don't act, I keep asking for advice but then I don't act on it, either because I'm lazy, or because maybe I'm scared that if it doesn't work quick enough I'll have even more doubts.

But this time I have actual hope that it could be different.
First of all, we are in the Age of Aquarius now, an Age of Change, and a lot of change in my life and myself has already manifested, to my great pleasure.

I now live on my own, and I've noticed how that changed me, i.e. I am much more willing to keep the house clean and tidy now that I do it for myself rather than at the orders of a parent.
I actually enjoy it now, I even abruptly became much more willing to do manual work in the house, it's amazing how much I've changed, for real this time.
I suddenly became much more responsible out of the blue.
This gives me hope that as I turned my mundane life around with this new living situation and this great Age, I might be able to turn around my spiritual life too and actually start to be active.
I am scared that I won't, but I think that now it's probably the best time to try.

Again, thanks to everyone who has advised me in the past and to everyone who might read this whole post, may the Gods bless you for the help you bring to this wonderful community.
Hail Satan, eternally.

 

[Havoc]

Funny story a friend of mine decided that when doing the 40 day ritual he would chant RAUM 108 times instead of 8 because it was a spiritually significant number and got burns all over his body, he’s recorded but he never had doubts after that.

I would say look into the studied done on extra sensory perception, these have been replaced multiple times science has actually disproved atheism, so atheists are actually superstitious, that perspective will put doubts to bed for you

 

[NakedPluto [JG]]

Find the Gods in your life, by looking at the positive and what you can bring about positive in your life. As you advance and mature in life, you will see life as not only very precious, but become fond of the delicate nature it has. You will then become a holder and creator. As you build your life, and your mind, as you fight for this, you will know superior and higher being do this along with yourself and they keep a great hope for you to be open and befriend them.

All of existence is here for it to be lived, and not sit idle by nonconsciousness. As you partake existence, know she is endless in exceptional supreme beings.

Allow yourself to journey your path in your own terms and trials, but you have to enact this in your life, one way or another. It may take time, but it must happen you take action. It is not about anyone else but yourself here, and if you understand this, you understand that you are given space, time and intimacy to flower from any situation.

 

[Henu the Great]

Do as many God's rituals as you can. By doing so you connect to them and begin to know what's up.

 

[Hellenic SS]

I have deep thanatophobia since a very young age, and a general struggle to believe and have faith

This is amplified through lack of action. Faith creates action and action creates faith.

my nickname on this forum has always been "Young Faith", as my faith is new and vulnerable (I now realize that keeping this username might be detrimental to my subconscious,

You're right, it is harmful for your subconscious. A lot of xians have similar problems of low self-esteem.

I am asking some advice regarding atheist deprogramming, if there are some specific workings or something like that.

You can work with runes such as Uruz, Wunjo, and Nauthiz. You can also do God rituals, preferably Satan's Absolution Ritual.

 

[serpentwalker666]

As we walk this path over the years, the reality of the Gods eventually becomes impossible to deny. The Gods make themselves known and bring to us what we need in life, as we work hard we are given much opportunity and great things unfold for us, both materially and spiritually.

Satan guides us to knowledge as we advance, and things arrive to us as they are supposed to. You'll find over time that the truth will become so undeniable that it would be like lying to oneself if we turn away from it.

It truly gets to a point where the gods are like the sun, and averting ones gaze is like just looking in the other direction and saying the light is not there.

 

[GoldenxChild1]

Atheism doesn't make sense. It's not just "not believing" in a God or Gods, but eliminates the possibility of belief in anything higher than mortality. It also isolates your psyche to what you "know", which is very, very small. It's kind of ignorant because it disregards what's right in front of you.

Have you had no experience with any God or Goddess yet?

 

[Bogow]

You do not need blind faith in the matter of spirituality and the existence of Gods. Occultism is practical knowledge and the ability to operate at the level of understanding the relationships between internal and external. There is no “wall” between your inner world and the world around you. You literally live in the projection of your aura and your life is a manifestation of the inner energies of your soul. By following this, your atheism will completely go away over time.

In addition, working with the right hemisphere and power meditation simply and without extra effort give many kinds of unusual effects of perception and/or manifestations of the “otherworldly” in life. It mainly depends on your natal chart.

Speaking of which, thoughtful study of astrology is also an excellent vaccination against atheism.

 

[fallenlight666]

In my long and excruciating search of the deep issues that prey at my mind and soul, of which I am sure some old time members here might reminisce (because of my many posts seeking various advice throughout the years) I think I am at a new breakthrough in finding out the source of it all. This is not the first time I think I've found a breakthrough, but compared to my previous attempts, this seems more realistic (the last one being suspecting some sort of thought-form possession, which could still be true to some extent as of course I haven't been doing all the workings I've been advised to do, because I am just that dumb).

As I've disclosed several times, I have deep thanatophobia since a very young age, and a general struggle to believe and have faith, hence my nickname on this forum has always been "Young Faith", as my faith is new and vulnerable (I now realize that keeping this username might be detrimental to my subconscious, but we'll see). Even if I had several occurrences where the hand of the Gods could be felt, my mind still can't fully accept that their influence is real and discards these occurrences as "coincidences" and that everything spiritual I believe in is "too good to be true".

Partly thanks to therapy, an expensive but so far helpful endeavor, I noticed that the origin of it all seems to be, much unsurprisingly, a deep atheism programming in my mind, probably caused by the environment I grew up in and the friendships I've made (every friend I've ever had and currently have is atheist, that's today's youth).

So, hoping that this time I got it right, I am asking some advice regarding atheist deprogramming, if there are some specific workings or something like that.

Also, I want to deeply thank everyone in the JoS for the patience that has been shown me throughout the years.
I am aware of my situation and how it looks like from the outside.
I just don't act, I keep asking for advice but then I don't act on it, either because I'm lazy, or because maybe I'm scared that if it doesn't work quick enough I'll have even more doubts.

But this time I have actual hope that it could be different.
First of all, we are in the Age of Aquarius now, an Age of Change, and a lot of change in my life and myself has already manifested, to my great pleasure.

I now live on my own, and I've noticed how that changed me, i.e. I am much more willing to keep the house clean and tidy now that I do it for myself rather than at the orders of a parent.
I actually enjoy it now, I even abruptly became much more willing to do manual work in the house, it's amazing how much I've changed, for real this time.
I suddenly became much more responsible out of the blue.
This gives me hope that as I turned my mundane life around with this new living situation and this great Age, I might be able to turn around my spiritual life too and actually start to be active.
I am scared that I won't, but I think that now it's probably the best time to try.

Again, thanks to everyone who has advised me in the past and to everyone who might read this whole post, may the Gods bless you for the help you bring to this wonderful community.
Hail Satan, eternally.

The issue with having faith alone is that it is not a stand alone feat. It does not produce any outcome by itself. It requires action along with it. You work toward the end of what you believe in. The same is with worshipping Father Satan and the Gods.

 

[Demonic Tech]

Funny story a friend of mine decided that when doing the 40 day ritual he would chant RAUM 108 times instead of 8 because it was a spiritually significant number and got burns all over his body, he’s recorded but he never had doubts after that.

I would say look into the studied done on extra sensory perception, these have been replaced multiple times science has actually disproved atheism, so atheists are actually superstitious, that perspective will put doubts to bed for you

Sounds like the kind of event my mind would need to finally shut up
For a period I tried to learn telekinesis, as that is something that once you get it working, even once, you kinda cannot deny it anymore, and I thought it could unlock everything else, but of course I didn't try for long, but maybe it's better this way because telekinesis is extremely advanced and one with at my level isn't probably going to manage that, and I'd be only setting himself up for disappointment.

Find the Gods in your life, by looking at the positive and what you can bring about positive in your life. As you advance and mature in life, you will see life as not only very precious, but become fond of the delicate nature it has. You will then become a holder and creator. As you build your life, and your mind, as you fight for this, you will know superior and higher being do this along with yourself and they keep a great hope for you to be open and befriend them.

All of existence is here for it to be lived, and not sit idle by nonconsciousness. As you partake existence, know she is endless in exceptional supreme beings.

Allow yourself to journey your path in your own terms and trials, but you have to enact this in your life, one way or another. It may take time, but it must happen you take action. It is not about anyone else but yourself here, and if you understand this, you understand that you are given space, time and intimacy to flower from any situation.

Thanks for your words. By "become fond of the delicate nature [life] has", did you mean by appreciate mortality?
I also appreciate the sentence about nonconsciousness, I feel very nonconscious in these last years, I have lost many past memories of mainly happy times and I often feel like I am not in control. Like, I feel in control during the moment, but when I recall that same moment later, it feels like it was somebody else.

Do as many God's rituals as you can. By doing so you connect to them and begin to know what's up.

Thanks for your advice, I remember always feeling a great warmth when doing those some months ago (there was some schedule), and I noticed that for each God the warmth/energy felt different, especially when it was the turn of a new ritual. I particularly remember being almost overwhelmed by Lord Baalzebul's warmth when I did His ritual for the first time, and how different that felt from the usual warmth from Lady Astarte's ritual.

This is amplified through lack of action. Faith creates action and action creates faith.

You're right, it is harmful for your subconscious. A lot of xians have similar problems of low self-esteem.

You can work with runes such as Uruz, Wunjo, and Nauthiz. You can also do God rituals, preferably Satan's Absolution Ritual.

Thanks for the advice, I have no idea what other nickname I could use though, and I'd need to change my proton email too.
Like, if I replaced "Young" with something like "Established" it should be good for my subconscious, but it feels like a lie since I still have issues and have not healed from them yet.
Maybe I should completely change it so it has a whole different meaning.

Atheism doesn't make sense. It's not just "not believing" in a God or Gods, but eliminates the possibility of belief in anything higher than mortality. It also isolates your psyche to what you "know", which is very, very small. It's kind of ignorant because it disregards what's right in front of you.

Have you had no experience with any God or Goddess yet?

I had experiences but the more like miracles, like when I was so stressed by my job and prayed very intensely to Father Satan about it and just 2 days later better and more serious job offers started to manifest and in a short period I had found a new, better-paying, easier, job which I currently keep doing.
As disrespectful as it is, the atheist voice in my head dismisses this as a coincidence.
There are also other occurrences of seemingly random strokes of luck basically saving the course of my life since when I was born (my actual birth too, in a sense), so this is not the first time I have something like this happen to me, but it is the most clear and most recent miracle for which I cannot thank Father Satan enough.
This new job unlocked a lot of things for me, including the fact that I now live on my own and, as I said in the original post, has brought great change in me.

 

[NakedPluto [JG]]

Thanks for your words. By "become fond of the delicate nature [life] has", did you mean by appreciate mortality?
I also appreciate the sentence about nonconsciousness, I feel very nonconscious in these last years, I have lost many past memories of mainly happy times and I often feel like I am not in control. Like, I feel in control during the moment, but when I recall that same moment later, it feels like it was somebody else.

It means to appreciate the value of life, and that what you do here matters and has weight as opposed to a false sense of nihilism. What you feel is because of a lack of purposes, so that your mind creates a chronology to seed itself and regulate. Seek purpose in everything you do, leave the past be, the present is important and this is what creates the future.

 

[Demonic Tech]

It means to appreciate the value of life, and that what you do here matters and has weight as opposed to a false sense of nihilism. What you feel is because of a lack of purposes, so that your mind creates a chronology to seed itself and regulate. Seek purpose in everything you do, leave the past be, the present is important and this is what creates the future.

Oh, I see. I understand now, thank you.

 

[Demonic Tech]

You're right, it is harmful for your subconscious. A lot of xians have similar problems of low self-esteem.

Little update: I changed my username! Incredible how something as trivial as this is already making me feel like a different whole person.
And this time, the username is built around my greatest passion and job of my life, rather than my insecurity.

 

[Hellenic SS]

Little update: I changed my username! Incredible how something as trivial as this is already making me feel like a different whole person.
And this time, the username is built around my greatest passion and job of my life, rather than my insecurity.

I'm proud of you, Satanism is about suprassing our weaknesses and becoming stronger.

 

[Gearshift]

I'm gonna deviate from the norm people mention. And state to a degree there isn't wrong with atheism or doubts in entities or any of that.

My best guess is you or perhaps our civilization to better state has been so beaten down and downtrodden. That in essence you equate atheism with science.

I say that because I think the major reasoning some people change is due to scientific properties. My great grandfather who died in 1995 at 95 years old. Was an atheist his entire life even pre-Castro Cuba as he was a Cuban citizen.

Sheer fact is there isn't wrong with it because your simply trying to conform to scientific view. Yes science can't explain everything just yet it still in 2024 held back by the powers that be due to it's properties of the occult.

Perhaps a better way to put it is. HP.Lydia said it best shy of a few days ago during the time of this post. One member replied "If you dedicate and do nothing the Gods look down on that".

Lydia replied even regular people aren't judged by the Gods. It can take lifetimes to open a soul to spirituality.

I believe from reading your post O.P. you might feel guilty with this mentality of "Meditate or DIE!". If you dedicate just for the sake of it nothing wrong with it. You took the initial plunge, sure you might not be doing your utmost. Sure it's okay to take breaks from doing ritual schedules. I'd say the God rituals are far less time consuming than the FATSJD rituals or other RTR rituals. But I think your atheism is ultimately in your guilt of "I MUST ritual and meditate".

No not in the least bit the enemy isn't going anywhere just yet. As even HP.Cobra himself replied to people it's better to knock off the rituals for a day or two than burning yourself out.

Everyone and every action is important. The mass fire of not just every two hours of rituals is important and even as HP.Cobra those who don't like to coordinate their attacks of rituals on specific times can do it any time to "spread the rituals over". A method I prefer just fire and forget I prefer picking up the slack on spreading the ritual without coordination of once every two hours or once in a specific two hour period should I be more accurate to state.

I think ultimate your atheism is valuable and I don't see anything wrong with nihilistic tendencies or atheism per say. While many can be more annoying and destructive, unconstructive compared to xtians. At least xtians sheepishly assist in things even with slave mentality.

I strongly believe a healthy dose of atheism and nihilism is needed to deconstruct the old and fortify the new self.

It's probably one reason why my best friend whom I email deeply is enjoying of Black Metal. He can type very negative dark things in such bright and exuberant black metal mode as he puts it with fancy words. That it is intoxicating and really puts a spin of improvement. He literally breaks you down and you reconstruct your World view.

Considering a large number of members are Pluto in Scorpio between 1983 and 1995. I strongly believe sometimes you gotta hoist yourself with your own petard and nuke yourself as needed to solve mysteries in life.

Sheer fact is atheism/nihilism honestly it just seems like fancy words created to simply explain "science and religion". To wit that both are similarly one in the same.

So in the end while we aren't nihilist nor atheist but scientists and more specifically spiritualist or spiritual scientist.

I do strongly believe in the act of new data and new information. Perhaps this persistent and consistent upgradatus unlimitada has hurt rather than help. Perhaps you need more stability and thus more Saturn to promote the "Temple is constructed from the very underground basement to the floor and the stories of levels till the temple is firm, grounded, and stable".

In simplest terms perhaps you need to give yourself more time to build the temple on proper solid ground before engaging in higher effects.

Perhaps your atheism and potential nihilism stem not out of malice or negativity but rather altruistic positivity of the self. A lot of these feelings and sensations and more specifically states are attributed to powerlessness, weaknesses, or lack of being able to see reality improve. It's not even a basis for seeing is believing i.e. if my 3rd eye is open I see the spiritual. It's not a matter of convincing or learning or adopting. Powerlessness, weaknesses, etc.etc. breed evil both uppitiness and badness.

I think you need to learn to self-destroy and reconstruct better and better. Perhaps your lacking that sanity and insanity of Plutonic weapons and your having difficult reintegrating yourself to a newer level.

Perhaps simply your atheism and potential nihilism is simply difficulty accepting changes or improvements.

Consider Lydia's Orange ritual, breath in orange 10-20 breaths. Affirm x8, "I fully embrace changes in a positive, healthy, beneficial, and best way for me". Keep it simple, perhaps your trying to 0-60 in 1 second rather than slowly charging up and speeding up in slower manner. Just take it simple day by day.

 

[Henu the Great]

I think ultimate your atheism is valuable and I don't see anything wrong with nihilistic tendencies or atheism per say. While many can be more annoying and destructive, unconstructive compared to xtians. At least xtians sheepishly assist in things even with slave mentality.

Doing something wrong and not doing anything when seeing something wrong done are equally destructive paths to take.

From a Spiritual Satanist perspective, neither are condoned, and it seems you are way off with your views about these things.